


When You Least Expect It

by DragonGirl420



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Jensen ackles rpf - Freeform, Series, Slow Burn, jensen ackles fan fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-01-04 07:35:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 125,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18339089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonGirl420/pseuds/DragonGirl420
Summary: After a hard breakup, Jensen decides to throw himself into organizing a Music Festival in Austin that is meant to raise money for a few of his most cherished charities and organizations. As he throws himself into planning it, he stumbles upon a spirited, undiscovered performer, who he convinces to come aboard to help plan and coordinate the event with him.What transpires after that takes both Jensen and his new friend, by surprise. But when their respective pasts come back just before the event kicks off in Austin, they will both have to decide if the unexpected feelings are worth perusing, or if they should just walk away and go on with their lives.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all.
> 
> Part one is from Jensen’s POV. There is also a playlist to go along with the series. Some are just songs I imagined playing or being played as the story took shape in my imagination, or they are songs actually being used in the series. I will link them when that’s the case. Hope you enjoy it! xo

[Playlist Link](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/16jeQG4K1rMNuOciVBhxza)

 

“You sure you feel up to this? We can just hang out at the hotel if you want.”

“No,” Jensen said. “I need to get out, get fresh air. I need to breathe. Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE board meetings? It’s why I’m not an office guy. I would suck at it. What happened to let’s meet at a restaurant, have a meal, a drink and just talk stuff out?”

“Alright man, whatever you want,” Jared agreed and took a few tentative steps to cross the street. “But, remember, you were the one that wanted this all to happen ASAP. The guy is on vacation with his family and putting aside time for us. If he wants to set up in his hotel conference room…” Jared trailed off and shrugged before making his way across the street.

Jensen waved him off and followed in his friend’s footsteps and as they made their way up onto the boardwalk, they were both relatively relieved with how deserted it was. October at the Jersey shore wasn’t exactly ‘in season’ but it was a nice enough night that they could have encountered a lot more people.

“This is good,” Jensen smiled, as they strolled down the boardwalk. He inhaled a deep breath of the salty air and exhaled slowly. “I get that. But it’s important to get this stuff finalized before I go back to Austin and start making firm plans. ‘Cause before you know it, it’s back to Vancouver. Doesn’t leave much time to get things in motion.”

“Could always push the festival back a year,” Jared suggested, knowing Jensen would never agree. He was like a dog with a bone where this festival was concerned. Once the idea to host a three-day event in Austin came about, Jensen was bound and determined to make it happen, all in a year’s time.

“No, its gotta be next year,” he said, gesturing with his hands that was his final decision. “It’s fine. I’m better now that I’m out of that conference room. It was like a million degrees in there. This, this was a good idea. Maybe we find a small bar, grab a beer, some grub. Just relax a bit.”

“Until your phone rings,” Jared said unintentionally sharp.

“Come on, Jar. I don’t wanna—” he sighed and stopped walking. “It’s over, alright. She left and honestly it sucked.”

“And the festival is your way to distract yourself from that.”

Jensen gave him a reprimanding look but couldn’t deny his claim.

“It was six months ago, and yeah, it took me a while to get over it. But it wasn’t like we were married, and she wanted something else. I’m done waiting for her, okay? I get it now, she’s not coming back. So, you can stop worrying. And yeah, maybe the festival is my way of moving on. Work is work, and while it keeps me busy enough, I want to do something more. Organizing this thing through the brewery, it’s gonna be great. It’s going to help a ton of people and bring some recognition to a few great charitable organizations.”

Jared walked by his side quietly, listening and waiting for Jensen to stop rambling. When he did, he asked a simple question completely throwing Jensen for a loop.

“That all sounds great. It really does, and your intentions are on point, Jay. But… what happens when it’s over?””

He hemmed and hawed over an answer, sputtering and stuttering before just giving up and shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll be fine?”

“Perfectly. Fine.” He nodded as confirmation. “In fact, so fine, I won’t even remember whats-her-name because I’ll be swimming in fine.” His tone oozed sarcasm, only to be made more punctuated by his expression.

“Jensen…” Jared sighed. “Just stop. It’s fine, I get it. I’ll back off. Let’s go get that beer and whatever.”

He shoved his hands in his pocket as the autumn wind kicked up his hair as it rolled in off the ocean. He started to look around at the different booths, only a few of which were open and functioning that time of year. A little further down the boardwalk, Jared spotted a place that could be just what they needed.

“Come on, let’s check out this place,” he motioned his head towards a bar/restaurant called The Beachcomber. Jensen shrugged in agreement as they headed towards the building.

Walking through the front doors, they were met by a quick blast of warm air from above. There was a smattering of tables with patrons, but mostly they were empty. They made their way towards the back of the bar, where there were tables open that overlooked the ocean. Claiming one, they sat down and grabbed a menu to peruse. Not too long after, a waitress came by and took their orders. If she had recognized them, she didn’t mention it and went about her business as usual.

“I don’t want to keep bringing it up,” Jared started, after the waitress came back with their drinks.

Jensen sipped his beer. “So, don’t.”

“I just—I thought you were going to propose? You told me you wanted too. She left because you couldn’t make the commitment, Jay. Why didn’t you go through with it?”

Jensen just shrugged and looked out over the ocean to think before answering Jared’s question. “I don’t know… at the last minute, I just couldn’t do it. The idea of settling down with one person is terrifying, man. It may suit you and Gen, but I don’t know if it’s for me.”

“It’s not like you’re some playboy. You are monogamous as hell. So, what was it really?”

“Maybe I just couldn’t see my future with her. You know, settling down, kids, the whole nine.”

Jared nodded slowly, finally understanding. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

“Because that makes me sound like a dick.”

“You are a dick,” Jared teased and threw a piece of the napkin at his friend.

Jensen mocked him with a fake laugh and went back to his beer. “Yeah, yeah… moving on. Let’s talk about the important shit. I want tomorrow to go as smoothly as possible so we aren’t sitting in the pits-of-Hell conference room, so will you have a chance to look through all the contracts?”

Jared nodded and sighed. “Mhm. But really Jay, that shit needs to just go to the lawyer. I know you want everything to be perfect, to go smoothly. And I have no doubt that it will… but can’t we just concentrate on the creative stuff? Gen and I got a lot of the marketing taken care of. You and Jason, Robbie too, right? Y’all got the music covered. The festival will go off without a hitch and Random Acts will take in a bunch of money, as will the Austin Y and the crisis hotline.”

“Yeah, music is coming along. I just don’t have anyone that fits the vibe, you know?”

“No, I don’t. What vibe is that?”

Jensen shrugged. “I don’t know… this I guess,” he motioned towards the beach and the boardwalk, “I wanna bring this to the Brewfest.”

“Why? I mean, it’s great here, but what makes it so special?”

“Can’t put my finger on it. Have you ever been here in the summertime? Dude, it’s amazing. Just the whole vibe of the place…”

“That’s why you’re so intent on having these meetings with Leo. You want him to bring the boardwalk to Austin.”

Jensen shrugged again and nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, alright. I will help you make that happen then. Tomorrow, we’ll just have to convince him.”

“Well, lookit you. Being all motivational and shit.”

“Rah Rah!” Jared teased and shaking his hands like pom poms.

“How are we friends?” he asked and shook his head with a sarcastic eye roll included.

“You’d be lost without me and you know it,” Jared mocked and raised his glass in salute. Jensen nodded in reluctance agreement and clinked his glass against Jared’s.

The food was dropped not too long after that, and they enjoyed their seaside dinner as the sun set behind the houses to the west. About an hour after they arrived, dinner and drinks were finished, and they debated on staying or going back to the hotel. Deciding to stay for one more round, they settled in and kept an eye on Game Six of the World Series happening on the TVs above the bar.

Somewhere around the fifth inning, the volume got turned down, and the customer’s attention was asked to look towards the small corner stage. Behind the riser, was the backdrop of the Atlantic Ocean and a smattering of small boat lights on the horizon. Though the sun had just set a little while ago, the moon was already nearly full, hanging low in the night sky.

Jared was intent on the game playing out over the bar, even though there was no sound now. Jensen sipped at the rest of his beer and decided to keep his eyes on the stage. An older man, maybe in his mid-60s, welcomed the crowd and thanked them for patronizing The Beachcomber. His thick New York accent made Jensen smile, especially once he took in the man’s overall appearance of his slicked-back salt and pepper hair, white tee shirt and black leather coat.

Right out of the damn Sopranos, he thought and chuckled to himself.

He watched the stage, eager to see some Sinatra wannabe come out and try to charm the crowd. But when the girl with the guitar came out instead, he sat up a little straighter in his chair and glanced over at his best friend to see if he was paying attention.

He wasn’t.

Jensen couldn’t take his eyes off her, not solely because she was beautiful; which she was… stunningly so. Her beauty wasn’t what made him sit up and take notice. It was the way she held her guitar; gripping it as if it were her lifeline. He observed her closely, surprised that she seemed nervous. When she strummed the guitar and brought the melody to life her nerves faded away; she was suddenly confident and assured. Her voice carried on and as the lyrics of “Dust in the Wind” filled up the back end of the Beachcomber Restaurant, Jensen found himself immersed in the moment.

He went to the bar that night in search of a hot meal and cold beer. Jensen didn’t expect to find a solution to some, or even all, of his problems. But the longer he sat and watched her perform, he started to feel that maybe everything will work out for him after all.

She played through a short set and it was clear the other people in the bar couldn’t care less about the magic he was witnessing. At one point, Jensen looked around and was shocked how little people were paying attention. How did they not hear her voice, feel her words, or get touched by her vulnerability? He was more in shock about that, then the girl herself. Yet, the more she played, the more he was drawn in and attentive to every note, every word, every second.

By the end of the last song, she gave a slight bow and turned to scurry off stage. Jensen clapped eagerly for her, as the last few remaining patrons gave her a half-hearted attempt at applause. He was floored that he was the only one who took notice of her and turned to say as much to Jared, who was on his phone nodding emphatically.

“Yeah, got it. Ten tomorrow morning. Yup, thanks, see you then,” he said into the receiver then ended the call and tucked it away before looking up at Jensen. “You ready to go?”

“No, I… did you hear any of that?”

“Hear what?”

Jensen ran a frustrated hand over his stubbled face. “The girl, the music… did you hear it or did I just imagine that whole thing happening?”

“Oh, I heard it. It was good. I was just sort of engrossed in the game. Anyway, we should go. It’s getting late and Leo’s attorney said he wanted to reconvene by ten.”

“Can you just give me a minute? I want to see if I can catch—” just as he was standing up from the table and surveying the bar, he caught a glimpse of the guitar girl heading out of the doors and sprinting out into the night seaside air. He slumped back into his seat and sighed. “Nevermind… let’s go. I guess I can come back tomorrow night and see if she’s tending bar,” he mumbled more to himself than to Jared.

When Jensen looked back up and saw the way his best friend was looking at him, he shrugged and wrinkled his nose as if he was being chastised for something.

“What?”

“Dude, stalk much? Besides, we have a two o’clock flight out of Atlantic City. Bob is expecting us back to set Sunday morning.”

Jensen groaned. “Shit, I forgot. Alright, well, it’s the modern age, I can use a phone and try to get in touch with her—”

“Jay… chill. She’s just a girl, sure, she’s cute but, what is the big deal?”

Jensen opened his mouth to explain and suddenly felt stupid. She was just a girl; a girl that had a voice that could calm the Kraken, and a mastery of a guitar that could rival most of the greats. Even just hearing a few songs, he knew she was that good; but she was just a girl.

“I’m not taking away her talent, but unless you’re sweet on her or something—”

“No, it’s not that,” Jensen started, but then opted to change the subject and waved it off. “You’re right, no big deal. It’s late and we should get some shut eye before tomorrow. If we’re lucky we can settle all this with Leo, have the contracts in place for the festival and be back home in less than twenty-four hours.”

Jared nodded and felt a bit of his concern wash away. “Ok, good. Just stay focused on the work in front of us and we may actually pull this off.”

Later that night, as Jensen stretched out in his hotel’s king-sized bed, his eyes finally drifted closed and her face was there with him. It was partially hidden in the shadows of a stage, only hints of her features could be seen through the fogginess of the room and the singular light shining down upon her. But it was her. She was humming a tune, something familiar but in his unconscious state was unable to identify what it was. Unbeknownst to him, he began to hum along in his sleep, and a smile touched his lips.

In his dream, she smiled too and reached out a hand towards him. His dream self hesitated but then slowly walked around to the climb the stairs that would take him to her. Just as he joined her, she was gone, but he could still hear her voice humming the familiar melody. From the stage, he looked out and saw the crowd of one. She was there, her face still shrouded in a gradient of darkness, but her voice was clear and comforting. A sudden hit of a snare drum made him look away, and when he looked back at her, she was gone leaving a swirl of grey smoke in her wake.

Another hit of the snare drum pulled him out of the bar, and yet another out of his REM sleep. The alarm pinging on the table beside the bed continued yanking him from a dream he would later come to realize was way more profound than he thought. As he sat up, fully awake now and rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he sighed as the last few vivid images of the dream dwindled away, leaving only the melody firmly stuck in his mind.

The next morning’s meeting went off without a hitch. After Jared and Jensen met with Leo Caprini and his lawyer, they had a catered breakfast and stood around chatting for a while. Jensen expressed an interest to see more of the town if not for their flight out that afternoon. As if fate heard him and stepped in to correct it, both his and Jared’s phones went off simultaneously. Jensen kept chatting up Leo as Jared excused himself to check the text message that came through from the show’s EP.

No rush back. Set is closed for another three days. Will call with details later.

When Jared returned, Leo and his lawyer were in a sidebar. He held up his phone so Jensen could read the message.

“You get one too?”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah. Wonder what the hell is going on?”

“I’m going to give him a ring on the way back to the motel. But three more days? Shit. I might as well go home for that. Gen and the kids just got back from her folks’ place last night. Could do with a few days home before we get back at it.”

“Then you should. We’re all done here if you want to head back and pack up, get a new flight and all that.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Jared said, with obvious signs of relief washed over him. “You coming?”

Jensen considered it for a moment. “Nah, I think I might just hang here. If I’m gonna do this, might as well do it right.”

“Sure you’re not just gonna get a pizza, pint of ice cream and sit in the room pining all night?”

Jensen drew in a deep breath and tried not to murder his best friend with his glare. “Positive.”

Jared wasn’t wrong though; despite Jensen’s consistent protest he was over it, he was not, in fact, over it. He did miss Dee and would find himself wishing she could come back. But then he would remember that he couldn’t commit, though he did often question the reasons for it. Was it because she really just wasn’t the one? Or was it because he knew she was getting complacent with him and someone else had caught her eye. He wasn’t perfect in their relationship, and he had certainly gone through the laundry list of his shortcomings. The feelings just felt uncertain where Dee was concerned but the distraction of the festival was to combat constantly living in that state of ‘What the fuck am I doing with my life?’. He just prayed that it actually worked.

Jared held his hands up in relent. “Alright, sorry. I’ll stop. I know what you said, you’re done waiting. And that’s good. But, I also know you can get mopey about it when no ones around.”

“True, however… I am moving on. All in to the festival and that’s it. No dating, no relationship bullshit. Just diving head first into trying to pull this off.”

Jared shook his head and chuckled. “Man, I still don’t get what you plan on doing with all this. I mean, I read the contracts, I sat in the meetings, but I guess I just can’t envision it all yet.”

“What’s the hangup?”

“I don’t know… Austin is pretty great as it is. Why bring in other flavors when you have the ultimate chocolate already? You know?”

Jensen busted out laughing and slapped his best friend on the shoulder. “That’s one way to put it. Honestly, it’s the vibe of the place. Dee and I came here years ago, and this boardwalk was hoppin’. Families, first dates, best friends… arcades, rides, food… the food alone is worth it. Yeah, Austin is fucking great, but I want this festival to be the biggest thing to ever happen there. I want people to come from all over to see how special Austin is–”

“And I get that, so why bring a New Jersey boardwalk vibe to Au–”

“Because, son, ain’t nothing else like it anywhere in the world,” Leo interrupted as he rejoined their conversations, giving the much taller man a hearty slap on his shoulder. “You Texas boys sure do got a gorgeous bit of country down there, no one is disputing that. But this here,” he turned and made a sweeping gesture towards the boardwalk ocean that lived across the street, “this is somethin’ special.”

“No argument there,” Jared mused and gave the man a curt smile. “Well, if we are gonna be changing flights, we should get back–”

“Actually, since there’s been a change of plans, I think I might stay here, spend an extra day or two getting to know the area, brainstorm on the festival a while…” Jensen shrugged trying to stay indifferent, but felt a ripple of excitement at the thought.

They had a silent exchange, which Leo watched in amusement. “You boys are somethin’ else!” he chuckled wildly as he proceeded to pull his cell from his pocket. “Since you’re sticking around, Jensen, let me call my assistant and tell her you’ll be comin’ round. I’ll have her give you a tour of some of the must-see places, get a feel for what parts of our little utopia here you wanna cart on down to Texas. Sound good?”

“Sounds, amazing,” he said as the three men moved towards the elevator bank. “Just what I was hoping for.”

An hour later, Jensen was strolling into the hotel bar and scanning the near empty room. Leo had mentioned that his assistant would be there waiting to take him on the promised tour of the boardwalk and businesses Leo maintained there. However, all he could find were two older couples having an early bird dinner, an awkward first date going down at the bar, and a lone woman in a booth pouring over paperwork.

Jensen shoved his hands in his pockets and slowly began to circle the room, hoping that the mystery assistant would reveal herself. As he rounded the corner, he looked up and noticed the woman in the booth. She had finally picked her head up from staring at the papers strewn on the table in front of her, stopping Jensen in his tracks.

It was guitar girl, the singer from the bar he saw the night before. His feet felt frozen to the ground. When he got himself moving again, he walked towards her with no idea what he would say, just that he needed to say something to her. Tentatively, he approached her table, unaware of the large, goofy grin he was unintentionally wearing.

“Hey, hi! How are you? I’m, uh–I saw you at–Uh, what was the name of the place….” Jensen stammered until he saw her confused expression.

Seeing her close up, he realized how many of her striking features he’d missed in the darkened atmosphere of the bar. He took a moment to appreciate just how beautiful she really was, before continuing with his awkward greeting.

“Oh man, uh, let me start over. Hi, I’m Jensen. I saw you sing at a bar last night, and–” he stretched out his hand then to shake hers, and inadvertently struck her glass of iced tea, causing it to splatter all over the papers that were spread out across the table.

He watched, in horrific slow motion as the mixture of liquid and ice made a rapid path across the table, soaking and smearing the ink of the pages. Jensen glanced up at the woman as her face contorted from confused to panicked, to disbelief.

“Oh… shit! I’m–I’m sorry… here, let me get that–”

Jensen lunged for the napkins and began to pat the papers dry, as the women stood and did the same. A waitress scurried over with more napkins upon seeing the mishap and Jensen took them gratefully, trying to save as many of the documents as he could.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he said, again, finally causing the woman to sigh and slid out from the booth.

Seeing that some of the tea landed on her pants, Jensen felt his face flush with embarrassment. He went to apologize again and she stopped him by holding up a hand.

“Don’t. Just… don’t. Its fine,” she said flatly, and wiped at the growing wet patch on her pants. She looked up, but avoided his apologetic gaze and called for the server. “Hey Marci, can I get a handful more napkins, please, hun?”

“Sure thing!” she called back and disappeared behind the bar.

“So, what was it you wanted?” she asked Jensen, finally taking a moment and looking him straight in the eye.

He stuttered to a smile and shrugged. “I just wanted to say I was a fan–”

“I see you two found each other!” Leo’s voice bellowed through the bar.

Jensen turned, surprised to hear him, and then quickly turned back to the woman to see her expression to be just as confused as his was.

“Well, damn, (Y/N), leave you alone for an hour and you’re already a mess!” his wild cackle made all the heads in the barn turn to stare.

“Actually, Leo, this is my fault. I spilled the iced tea, and–” Jensen stammered before getting interrupted.

Leo waved Jensen off. “No worries, son. I’m sure she understands, dontcha, sweetie?”

“Sweetie?” he couldn’t help mimic Leo’s word sarcastically. A thousand thoughts flew through his head about the nature of their relationship until Leo laughed and shook his head.

“No, no… she’s my niece! She’s a damn good assistant, too! I suppose I should make some formal introductions. Jensen, this is my niece, (Y/N) she operates as my assistant, a bartender, a coin clerk and a sometimes rock star, ain’t that right?!”

(Y/N) smirked, and nodded to appease her uncle. Despite their initial encounter, she reached out her hand to Jensen to shake it. “Nice to meet you,” she said and quickly withdrew her hand.

“This is the fine gent I texted you about.”

“Oh,” she replied and looked back at Jensen. “Well, small world, huh.”

“Yeah, I’d say,” he said with a snort, accompanied by a goofy kind of grin, but instantly regretted it. He thought that (Y/N) seemed unimpressed and, maybe even mildly put out by the entire sequence of events.

“Well, anyways, will you be able to take him around today? I have a bunch of appointments I need to keep, or I’d take him myself.”

“Sure,” she replied. “Where do you want me to take him?”

“Shit, (Y/N), you’d know better than me. This is your town, sweetie. Go on and paint it red with the boy!”

“Uncle Leo…” she chastised and shook her head. Turning to Jensen, she again gave her best professional smile. “I just need to go change, but I only live a mile away. I’ll run home, meet you back here in about thirty minutes.”

Jensen nodded as casually as he could, “Yeah, that sounds great.”

“Then my work here is done! Come on, (Y/N), I’ll walk you out. Jensen, my boy, you’ll be in good hands with this one. Any questions you have, any input you need, (Y/N) here is the girl to give it to ya! No one knows Seaside better than she does.”

“I’ll be back shortly,” (Y/N) said as she gathered up the still soaking wet papers and as delicately as she could, piled them with the envelope and slapped them with a thwamp against Jensen’s chest. “These were your contracts, by the way. Hope you don’t mind waiting for new copies.” She shrugged, her eyes ablaze with satisfaction.

(Y/N) was fierce, he could tell that right away. As he watched her leave, Leo must have said something that she found funny, because she threw her head back with a laugh. He couldn’t hear her, but wondered what it sounded like. As he waited at the bar for her to return, there were a lot of things he wondered about where guitar girl was concerned. Mostly, the tenor of her voice and the way she played stuck with him and how it felt so in contrast with the steely-eyed, guarded woman that he had just met. Jensen was more than just intrigued by her; he was curious to know how many more layers there was to this woman, to his guitar girl.

Just before she reappeared, dressed in a Ozzy T-Shirt and ripped jeans with a pair of brown suede sandals, it was then Jensen realized it was the longest he’d gone without one thought of Dee crossing his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Series Playlist: “When You Least Expect It” (Spotify) **Songs & lyrics used in this part are by April Smith & The Great Picture Show ** Some are just songs I imagined playing or being played as the story took shape in my imagination, or they are songs actually being used in the series. I will link them when that’s the case. Hope you enjoy it! xo

Over the course of the next few hours, Y/N took Jensen through nearly every arcade, sweet shop and gift store that lived along the ocean’s edge. The rides weren’t currently running, but she was able to point out the ones that could come along with the traveling carnival Leo had promised to send to Austin the following Autumn.

Jensen launched question after question at her; he wanted to know everything from the history of the area to what its biggest attractions were. Y/N was an articulate and captivating storyteller, even though he sensed she wasn’t trying to be. The more she talked, the more he could hear the songbird he’d encountered the night before. He tried to get her to laugh a few times, throwing out a lame dad joke as a response to something or other, but nothing seemed to stick. Either she was the most professional tour guide to ever wear an Ozzy T-shirt, or she was just that unimpressed with his wit.

It was later in the afternoon when Jensen’s stomach really started to rumble loud enough that even Y/N heard it.

“Maybe we should grab a bite. The food stands were the last stop anyway,” she said and motioned for him to follow her.

“Sounds good. What do you have in mind?”

“Pizza is always great here,” she paused and pointed towards the Saw Mill. “They serve the biggest slices on the boards and their tomato sauce is like no other. Can’t get pizza like this anywhere else. But, I think you should try the lemon stand.”

“The what?”

“The lemon stand… they make these sausage and pepper sandwiches served with a side of potato wedges and fresh lemonade you don’t want to miss. It’s a staple around here every summer, and lucky for you, you are here on their last day of the season.”

Jensen’s mouth began to salivate at the idea and he nodded emphatically. “Yeah, let’s go there, that sounds amazing.”

What the locals referred to as the lemon stand, was really called Midway Steakhouse. A medium sized building right smack in the middle of the boardwalk. There was no line at the lemon stand, allowing them to walk right up to the counter. Jensen looked up at the menu and saw a handful of choices, but Y/N was lightly tapping his arm and shaking her head.

“No. Let me order for you, there’s only one thing you want to try. Trust me.”

Without waiting for him to answer, she turned to the man at the register.

“Heeyyy, Miss, Y/N! To what do we owe the pleasure!”

“How’s it shakin’ Miguel? I brought an associate up here to try the place. He’s getting a festival going in Austin next year and Leo is renting out a few vendors. Thought yours should be one of the few.”

Miguel waved her off. “Oh please, like my hermano would ever say yes to that. You know how he feels about Leo’s  _dealings_.” He whispered the last word as if it would trigger a catastrophe.

“Well, we have time to talk. For now, though, can I get two sausage sandwiches, with peppers, onions and sauce, one side of wedges, and two medium lemonades, please and thank you.”

“For you, anything,” Miguel winked and turned to the two guys behind him. He barked out the order in Spanish getting the guys in motion. She turned back to Jensen and leaned back against the counter. “You won’t regret this, trust me.”

“God… the way it smells… I want this to be my heaven,” Jensen mused, finally getting her to smile a genuine smile. It didn’t go unnoticed but he also didn’t want to call her out on it. The longer they hung out, the more she was loosening up and he didn’t want that to stop. “So, what’s after this?”

“Nothing really,  you’ve seen everything. I’ll head back to the office and get the printers going for another set of contracts. The messenger can drop them at the hotel. I suppose your people can contact Leo’s people–”

“My people?” Jensen snorted, amused by her word choice. “What makes you think I have people?”

“You’re a celebrity. All you Hollywood people have people.”

The side-eyed glance he gave her was enough to make her stand up a little straighter. He was slightly offended by the remark but also tried to understand that she didn’t know him at all. Y/N was most likely lumping him into an assumption she had about anyone that could be considered a celebrity.

“I don’t actually,” he mumbled but knew fully well she heard what he said.

“My apologies. I just assumed–”

“Well, you know what people say about people… who… assume–” he trailed off when he saw she was trying not to laugh at him. He found this sort of refreshing.

“Mhm,” she said. “Sorry I assumed you had people. What I meant was, all that’s really left is for the new contracts to be printed and sent to whomever you like.”

“You’re forgiven,” he replied, his feigned smugness causing her to roll her eyes.

“You’re… something,” she groaned and moved closer to the counter and called out over the noise of the kitchen. “How’s it coming, Miguel?”

“It’s going! You can’t rush perfection, Y/N!”

And Miguel was right. It took fifteen minutes, but when Jensen sunk his teeth into the sandwich, he realized then he would have waited an hour or more for one.

“Good GOD this is good,” he said, wiping a dollop of the sauce from the corner of his mouth. “This is like, sinfully, ridiculously good.”

“Right? Told you. Now, if Miguel’s brother can be convinced to go, you want the Midway Steak House at your carnival.”

“And how do we make that happen?”

“We? No. You and Leo, maybe. But not we.”

“You wouldn’t be willing to help me out with that?”

She took a bite of her sandwich, and let her eyes wander out over the ocean. Jensen was aware he was staring, but he couldn’t take his eyes from her. He brushed the crumbs from his hands and sat back in the plastic chair that Midway Steak House offered just beyond their building.

“I guess I’ll take that as a no…”

“That’s just not my place. I’m Leo’s assistant, that’s it. The more involved I get, the less time I have for the other things I have going on.”

“Like playing in bars?”

“For one thing, yes,” she finally met his gaze. “Music is the goal, being an assistant pays the rent.”

“Well.. it is a music festival we’re planning here.”

Y/N chuckled a little at that and her expression told him she was considering it. “I guess you have a point. But, you have to understand these people trust me. I don’t want to steer them into a situation where they end up getting screwed.”

“I completely respect that. But, didn’t you read the contracts? This isn’t some bullshit scam. They will be compensated.”

“How could I? You spilled tea all over them,” she replied with the rise of one, challenging brow.

“Touché,” he relented. “All I’m saying is that this,” he paused and pointed to his sandwich, “needs to be in Austin next fall for the festival. I have the perfect brew in mind to pair it with.”

“Brew? Is this a beer fest, too?” she asked and leaned forward on the table. Had he finally caught her attention?

“It is. Sort of. My buddy and I own a bar and brewery. The plan is to hold a three-day music festival, bring in a bunch of different hometown vibes along with their food specialties and pair them with a brew from our catalog. The music part draws them in, and it’s not just loud, live shit all day long. I want all kinds of bands and performers. We plan on having stages in different parts of the city, different , arks and venues.”

“Sounds ambitious,” Y/N said, then began to wrap up her sandwich. “I love these, but I swear I could make at least two meals from it.” She finished up her lemonade and wiped her mouth with the napkin.

“So, just change the subject then?” he asked, still hoping she would help bring on the Midway.

“Look, Leo has the juice to get Miguel and Javier to say yes. I’m not the person to help you with this one.”

“But I think there is a way you could help,” Jensen offered, sitting up and also wrapping up his sandwich. “You gonna eat those?” he asked, pointing at the few remaining potato wedges.

“No, go for it, champ,” she snarked and rested her elbows on the table. “How do you think I could be helpful? Because I’ve already taken you on the tour. That’s the about the extent of my helping hands.”

“I don’t know, exactly…” he started, then paused and considered for a moment what should next come out of his mouth. Should he straight up confess that he dreamt about her and felt pulled towards her? Does he tell her that since the moment they met, he felt like she was destined to come into his life?

 _No, you idiot, you say nothing of the sort_ , he chastised himself, then thought of the most ambiguous thing to follow up what he had started.

“…just a feeling, I guess.”

To this, she audibly scoffed. “Ok, Mr. Ackles–”

“Oh God, please no… Jensen, or Jay. Never Mr. Ackles.”

“Whatever you want. Point is, that’s a load of crap and you know it. You want my help because you feel like maybe we bonded today. That I can get you extras, or things you were afraid to broach with Leo. Use me to get–”

Jensen sat up tall in his seat and waved her off, concerned about the impression she was getting. “Absolutely not, Y/N. That never even crossed my mind. I’m thrilled with the deal that was struck with Leo. I’m being serious when I say that just from what you have showed me and told me about today, I’ve got a million more ideas of things that could work for this festival. Your ideas and your way of storytelling, it’s not so easy to find.”

She started to speak, but he didn’t want to give her the chance.

“Let’s not forget, I saw you sing last night. I don’t care that it was some Kansas and Petty covers, you sang your ass off and played even harder. You have something special, and I want to bring that to this event.”

There was a moment where he thought she may have a real emotional reaction, but instead, she just smiled, pursed her lips together and nodded. “Thanks. Sorry, it was a short set, but I was late for rehearsals.”

“Rehearsals? Do tell.” He leaned forward and smirked. “I’m intrigued.”

“Not in this life, buddy,” she mused and stood from the table. “Come on, I’ll walk you back to the hotel. My car is there anyway.”

“Come on,” he whined as he gathered up his leftovers then stood from the table. “What rehearsals? I’m just curious about you. If that puts you off or makes you uncomfortable, I’m sorry. I just enjoy getting to know people, especially you.”

She had started to walk away, but then froze in place and sighed. Slowly, she turned back to face Jensen and he could see that she was fighting off something… a sarcastic comment… the urge to run… who knows. But when she did finally speak, he couldn’t have been more surprised.

“Burlesque,” she said, slightly defeated.

“Say what now?” he asked quickly, making it sound like all one word as he desperately tried not to break out in a giant grin.

Y/N sighed with a little chuckle. She fully faced him and committed to answering his question. “I work with a local burlesque group.”

Jensen felt his breath catch in his chest. He couldn’t help but immediately picture her in a costume and dancing some New Orlean’s style burlesque dance and making him regret the decision to swear off women for a while. “W–Wow! I’m genuinely surprised. You dance burlesque?”

“No. Noooo,” she laughed, and not sarcastically either. It was the laugh he wanted to hear earlier that day, the one that had made him so curious about her.

“I don’t dance. Not even a little. You ever see Seinfeld?”

“Yeah,” he replied hesitantly.

“I am Elaine.”

Jensen laughed heartily and the image of Y/N dancing like a spaz in a burlesque costume made him feel a range of emotions, from pure hilarity to being a little more than aroused.

“The group needed a fill in music director,” she continued with a shrug, ignoring his elation, “so I promised to help out until they found someone new. That was two years ago.”

“I think that’s pretty damn cool,” he mused. “When’s the show? I’d love to check it out.”

“Not until Tuesday night. It’s nothing big, really. We do it at one of the clubs in town. Business is slow, it draws a larger than average crowd for this time of year, so…” she shrugged, as if what they were pulling off was no big deal.

“Sounds like a big deal to me. I wish I wasn’t leaving tomorrow night. I’d love to get in and see it happen. Maybe…” he stopped and waved her off. “Nevermind. I’ve taken up enough of your time today.”

He started walking in the direction of the hotel and stopped when he realized Y/N was still in the same place. “Coming?”

“You want to come to the rehearsal tonight, don’t you?” she mumbled more to herself than to him.

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t turn down the invitation. But I know you went out of your way for me today. As much as I would love to come–”

“Oh, Jeeeesus…” she moaned and rolled her head back then let it hang for a moment before picking it up and staring at him. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a pain in the ass?”

“Yes. Often.”

Y/N reached into her back pocket and went over to the backside of the Midway Steakhouse. “Miguel, you got a pen?”

He did, and tossed it just right allowing her to catch it perfectly. She quickly wrote something on the back of a card and then tossed it back. “Gracias!”

She held the card out to Jensen. “Seven o’clock. Address is on the back. Come around to the rear of the building and be warned, we lock the doors at 7:05. Oh, and I guess I should warn you, most of them will know who you are and probably bum rush you for the usual autographs and shit.”

“That’s not a problem,” he replied, still sort of shocked that she was not only giving him permission to go, but her personal cell number, too.

“Ok, good. Look, I do have a few things I have to do first and I don’t need you tagging along. So, show up there at seven if you really want to watch the dress rehearsal. If you don’t no hard feelings. Despite how this day started, it didn’t end half bad and maybe you’re not as quite annoying as I assumed you would be.”

Y/N smiled, a slight lilt of surprise tugging at the corners of her mouth. Her expression wasn’t so hard and steely when she let her eyes connect with his. He liked her like this—softer and more of who she probably wanted to be, instead of who she had to be.

“Well, holy shit. Did I actually get you to crack a genuine smile?”

“I’m starting to regret this,” she warned, but he saw the teasing glint in her eye.

“Alright, alright. Run your errands. I’m going to go tuck this amazing sandwich in the hotel room fridge for later. I will be at the back door, no later than seven. Scouts honor.”

They both started to meander down the boardwalk in the same direction.

“It doesn’t count if you weren’t a Scout. So, were you a boy scout?” she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“No. But I played one on TV,” he joked, his jaw slacked open and his hands splayed wide animating his joke.

“Oh for fucks sake,” she laughed. “How long have you been wanting to use that joke, dad?”

Jensen’s face went deadpan serious. “Years.”

Y/N didn’t buy his expression for a moment and threw her head back in laughter. “You’re a shitty actor, you know that?”

When she winked at him it was more than a simple gesture to show him she was joking; it was when he knew he was more than a little smitten.

Seven on the dot, Jensen parked his rental car in the nearly empty parking lot of the address Y/N gave him. He could hear music booming from somewhere inside, and got a rush of adrenaline that made him nearly jog to the rear entrance of the Bamboo Bar. As he rounded the corner, there was a small group of people talking and smoking which ceased the moment they saw him.

“Well, hello there sugar. You lost?” a very tall, broad-shouldered woman with heavy makeup and too-tight corset asked as she breathed smoke into the atmosphere.

“I hope not,” Jensen chuckled. “I’m supposed to meet a friend here by seven.”

“Are ya now? And just what friend is this?” she scoffed and continued to smoke her cigarette.

“Y/N… “ he pulled out her business card from his back pocket and handed it to her. “Y/N L/N. She invited me to watch the dress rehearsal since I wouldn’t be around for the live show.”

“Ohhh, you mean Trixie Luna,” she chuckled and handed him back the card. “One sec, sugar.”

“Trixie Luna?” he repeated to himself and tried not to snicker. The more he learned about Y/N the more he liked her.

While the woman who made Jared look short, leaned into the entry and bellowed for Trixie Luna, Jensen looked back to the small circle of friends and offered a smile. They were all staring at him curiously, until finally, it happened–as it usually did–and one of them recognized him.

“Ooohh shit! I know you!! Dude, you’re from that show! The one about the brothers and the badass car, right?” the guy exclaimed, his face a swirl of excitement and disbelief.

Jensen chuckled and nodded. He held out his hand towards the guy in greeting, who took it and shook heartily. “That’s me. Jensen Ackles… nice to meet you.”

“Jensen, yeah, that’s it! I’m Ricky, this is Gwin and Sara, and that tall drink of water there is Mama Mia. What the hell brings you to our shit town?”

“Oh man, seriously?! This town is fantastic!” Jensen replied. “I’ve been here two days and I don’t wanna leave.”

“Dude, you travel the world and you like it… HERE? You sure you didn’t drink the sea water and get all loopy?”

“I’m sure, brother. I just think its an awesome town–”

“Yeah, so awesome that he’s dragging half of it back to Texas with him,” Y/N said, hints of playful sarcasm coating her tone as she leaned against the entryway. “So, you made it? I’m sort of surprised.”

“Not as surprised as I am, Trixie,” Jensen replied, and this time it was his turn to raise a questioning brow at her. He could see the slight embarrassment in her expression, but she wouldn’t let him have that satisfaction in front of her people.

“You found out my secret. Trixie Luna is my alias for all the shenanigans I like to do in the cover of night. Come on, Hollywood, let’s get you settled in as rehearsal really should be starting.”

The rest of the group snuffed out their cigarettes and quickly hustled inside as Jensen watched on, completely amused and downright ecstatic he was going to witness whatever was about to go down. He followed in line behind them and once inside looked around the large venue before being lead to a seat by Y/N.

“You stay put. I have to go put on the wardrobe while they warm up.”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied, giving her a mock salute. She rolled her eyes, as she normally did at him, and disappeared behind the stage.

It was only another minute or two before the house lights went dark and the stage was lit with a variety of colorful lights, and one simple spotlight shining on the tropical print curtain. As it pulled open, there was an elaborate, but clearly homemade set, that flowed from floor to ceiling. It was done up in bright colors and had a small spiral staircase on either side of the center backdrop which was painted to look like an old balcony reminiscent of the ones you’d find on the streets of Amsterdam.

The music kicked in and Ricky came out, dressed like a ringmaster to a circus, but now donning a sleek handlebar mustache. His song kicked off the show, soon turning into an ensemble number that left Jensen laughing and completely enthralled in the performance happening before him.

A couple of songs in, Mama Mia sauntered over to the table and sat precariously close to him. She leaned forward so her chin rested on her hand, as her elbow butted up against his at the table.

“So sugar,” she said just loud enough for himt to hear, “whatcha think of the show so far?”

“Its fucking great!” his genuinely big grin satisfied her and she relaxed before sitting back in her chair.

“Isn’t it? I swear, since Trixie took over, every new performance has been nothing short of amazing.”

“She directs the whole thing?”

Mama Mia nodded. “She does. Gathers the music, helps to put the little acts together, has total creative direction over the sets, scenery and costumes. The only thing she doesn’t do is choreograph the dances.”

“She mentioned not being a great dancer,” he chuckled.

“Oh, sugar, that’s the understatement of the year,” she laughed a throaty laugh and raised her one hand to the sky. “I love that girl somethin’ fierce, but I swear, she should never be allowed to dance. Ever.”

They had a good laugh over it and then turned their eyes back to the stage. Knowing how much input Y/N had on the show, left Jensen even more impressed than he already was. This woman was a gold mine of creativity and direction; someone he could absolutely use in his life. Just as the song ended, Jensen stood and gave a boisterous round of applause.

“Oh, it ain’t over. Trixie Luna herself still has two numbers to do,” she winked and wiggled her painted on eyebrows. “You must be someone special, she rarely gets up on that stage unless she’s standing over there in front of the band. And getting her in one of these damn corsets? Nearly impossible.”

“She’s gonna sing… in a corset?” Jensen’s breath caught in his chest. A flutter of excitement grew in his gut and rose, finally forcing the air out in a nervous chuckle. “Well, I’ll be damned,” he mumbled to himself.

The curtains closed and Jensen could hear the flurry of activity happening to change the set behind the curtain. When it opened up again a minute or two later, the main set was the same, but a lot of the extra stage dressing had changed. It was transformed into a cafe/shop. A handful of the cast were already on stage, acting like patrons enjoying coffee or browsing through the wares. The music kicked in and when the first few lyrics blared through the speakers, he instantly recognized Y/N’s voice. It brought ripples of goosebumps to his arms and his legs making him happy that they were covered and no one would notice.

 _“_[If you dig under my feet](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F3oIFAA9NpKwizNFQPKGvsM%3Fsi%3D5nJpdvwISn2s_UIE_ECQXw&t=MWI3MzliMWJmNTZlODk3OTMxNzMyZmQ4MGY2YzRhYjRkZjMxNThiOCw1YTBYUlJ1dg%3D%3D&b=t%3AnhKxeIEmJIrTLZjcVkg3iQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcoffee-obsessed-writer.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F184039998127%2Fwhen-you-least-expect-it-part-two&m=0)  
You will find things that you don’t want to see  
Things that I hide way down inside  
A menagerie of the tragedy that I’ve caused and all of my flaws  
And my demons oh if you’d seen  
What would you do… if you only knew…”

She slowly glided down the small spiral case to the left of the stage dressed in a 20’s style flapper dress that came to rest on her upper thigh. It was crimson red, and had a plunging neckline that left little to the imagination. The thousands of beads that were sown into the fabric caught the lights of the stage, making her glitter in grand fashion.

Once she reached the main floor and kicked into the chorus, Y/N moved across the stage, pretending to do terrible things to the people as she went along the way. She pulled up one girl’s skirt, on another she went up and grabbed her chest, all done in a playful, fun routine that Jensen was getting lost in. As Y/N sang on, he was less hearing the words, more watching her expressions as she sang each line, performed each terrible act.

The fact that she was the only one who wasn’t in full makeup, wasn’t lost on him either. The heavy makeup look of the burlesque troupe added to the show, but on her, the natural beauty and talent that radiated from her was all she needed.

When the number drew to a close, the entire troupe, was dancing around her, as she both sang and acted out the rest of her song. On the last note, he was on his feet, clapping and whistling, and grinning like an idiot.

“Still ain’t over, sugar,” Mama Mia chastised in a raspy whisper, and tugged on the hem of his shirt. “There’s one more for her with this bit, THEN you can ooze yourself all over her.”

Ignoring her, Jensen sat back down and watched as the act continued. A quick improvd bit between Y/N and Ricky went down, as his alter ego, Burt Trombone, stalked and gawked at Trixie Luna. The lighting switched and piano wheeled out from the side of the stage. A new piece of stage slowly dropped from the rafters above, dividing the set making it appear as if Trixie was in her own room now.

The piano kicked in and as she began to sing this new song… 

 __[Do you ever wonder if I’m dreaming of you](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F1ETjbBSt8srBrV33lccL1s%3Fsi%3DeRxkNVH_TxG5TGUS5IVJHQ&t=NjBiYzJlYzU3ZDU4ZDk1MGFkMDUwZDVlNTZlMzcxM2FlODVlYjg2MCw1YTBYUlJ1dg%3D%3D&b=t%3AnhKxeIEmJIrTLZjcVkg3iQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcoffee-obsessed-writer.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F184039998127%2Fwhen-you-least-expect-it-part-two&m=0)  
In the night at my window by the light of the moon?  
If you ever wonder if I’m dreaming of you  
Well, I’m not, so you can stop wondering…

She slowly stripped out of her flapper dress, to reveal a very tight, black corset with lace leg garters that attached to thigh high sheer black pantyhose.

 _I’ve got better things to do_  
Than sit around thinking all about you  
And hanging on to every little word that you said  
I’ve got plenty to keep me busy  
Without you running round in my head

The way she swung her hips swung and the way her arms dramatically flipped up her hair and ran down the length of her sides, was leaving him uncomfortably aroused in the middle of the nearly deserted club. By the time it was over, she’d left him speechless and so bewitched, wishing somehow he could go back and see it all again immediately.

Rehearsal ended about an hour later at which time the rest of the burlesque group flocked to Jensen, throwing questions at him, taking pictures and getting autographs. Y/N had changed back into her Ozzy shirt and jeans, and sat on the edge of the stage, slowly kicking her dangling legs back and forth. She looked on as her friends swarmed Jensen and when he looked up, noticed her watching, he thought she looked amused.

The bar finally cleared out leaving just Y/N, Mama Mia and Jensen behind. Y/N and Mama Mia started to clean up, and Jensen jumped right in to help.

“You don’t have to do that,” Y/N said as she swept the stage.

“I don’t mind, happy to help,” he said enthusiastically, before lifting the two bags of garbage and hauling them out towards the dumpster. He didn’t miss the little nudge and wink Mama Mia gave Y/N as he did so, making himself stifle the grin that wanted to emerge.

When Jensen came back in, Mama Mia had her coat on and was picking up her keys off the table. She hugged Y/N, whispered something to her, then sauntered over to Jensen and gingerly pinched his cheek.

“Sugar, you best come back here sometime and see me. Your laugh and applause is music to my ears,” she winked and seemed delighted that she made him blush. With that, she was out the door leaving him alone with Y/N.

“That was quite a show,” he said approaching her timidly.

She looked tired, but still radiant, and when she smiled up at him, his knees went a little weak. “It was a good rehearsal. I think you being here really lit a fire under them.”

“Your songs were the best part.”

Y/N rolled her eyes subtly and shook her head, gestures that seemed to be her go-to where he was concerned. “Stop sucking up to me, Hollywood. You’ll get your damn Midway Steak house at the carnival, okay?”

Jensen’s laughed echoed through the empty club. “I’d already forgotten all about that!” he exclaimed throwing his arms up in the air. “I swear!”

“Yup. Sure you did,” she teased and swept up the last of the remaining confetti. She looked at her watched and closed her eyes. “I can’t believe how late it is. Would you mind terribly giving me a ride home? It was nice earlier when I walked here, but I’m too tired to walk home now.”

“Of course. I’d be happy too.”

The flutter of exhilaration filled him, but again, he did his best to keep it under control. However, by the time they were actually in his car heading through the deserted streets of Seaside and up to the bungalows just outside of town, he could feel himself becoming more affected by her just sitting next to him in the front seat.

Y/N directed him to make a right on a dirt side road, and go until he couldn’t drive anymore. When he reached the end of the road, he parked the car and killed the ignition. They were at the place where the dirt ended and the sand dunes began. She got out of the car and didn’t seem at all surprised when Jensen followed suit. Not that he expected her to invite him in, but solely so he could take in the scenery before him.

It was well past midnight, and the moon had risen high enough over the ocean, that the breaking waves not more than a hundred feet away caught the reflection of its light on their crests. Seagulls could be heard cawing from down the beach, probably stalking the poor bar-backs taking out garbage from the few restaurants closing up for the night. Under their cries was the soft rumble of waves lapping at the jetties further up the beach. Above them, the sky was clear and dark, allowing the stars to twinkle in white brilliance. Jensen was transfixed and didn’t notice Y/N standing at his side until she spoke.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Huh? Yeah… its breathtaking,” he mused, his lips somewhat agape in awe, the little crinkles forming around the corners of his eyes.

She smiled softly and cast her eyes to the ground. “Feel like a little walk before you head back?”

He looked at her, taken back by her offer. All day he’d been the one to ask questions and try to get to know her, and now she was finally taking small steps towards him in return.

“Absolutely! But, are you sure though? I mean… I don’t–”

“Jesus Christ, Jensen. Shut the fuck up and talk a walk with me,” she chastised and looped her elbow through his, forcing him to start up the ramp through the dunes.

When they got to the beach proper, she kicked off her shoes and encouraged him to do the same before rolling up the cuffs of her jeans. She didn’t link with his elbow again, but she stayed close as they navigated their way down the beach closer to the water’s edge. It wasn’t as cold as he thought it could be, but a slight shiver ran up Jensen’s spine regardless as the suds ran over his toes.

After they were walking for a while, the breeze kicked up and Jensen could swear he caught the hint of music.

“Do you hear that?” he asked, pausing to look around.

Y/N chuckled, “I do. Up there–” she pointed to the houses that lined the beachfront. There was one, lone house lit up. The sliding glass doors were open, and yet there was no one moving around in the house. “That’s the Sinatra house. The people that live there leave their windows open on nice evenings and play Frank. There used to be a boardwalk that ran the length of the dunes, and people would walk down here just to sit on the benches, hear the music and watch the ocean. Superstorm Sandy ripped it apart a few years back, along with the house. But over the last few years, the community has helped to rebuild it. So now, every Friday and Saturday night, even in the off season, they will open the doors and play us some Frankie.”

Jensen listened to the story in awe, and found how tender her features had gone at the recollection to be endearing. He thought he understood how special this place was before, but after spending the day with her, and having this experience, it went much deeper than he could have dreamed. There was something about that kind of love and passion that he desperately needed in his life, and with that, his need to have Y/N around more was growing in leaps and bounds.

“You know,” he started, “that show you put on there tonight, was pretty spectacular.”

“That’s all them. They’re a seriously talented group.”

He debated on what came next. Jensen knew that if he pushed her too far, she’d probably retreat back to the more hardened woman he’d met earlier in the day. Yet, he wanted to be real with her, not give her some strangely compliant version of himself. That felt fake, and a girl like this could smell the stench of lies a mile away.

“Sorry, sweetheart, I gotta call bullshit there,” he said with a unapologetic shrug. “I know that was all you. Well, except for the choreography.”

She threw him some daggers along with her glance from the corner of her eye, but couldn’t resist a smirk, either.

“Mama Mia sold you out, by the way,” he continued. “She told me it was all you. Acting, music, sets, costumes… which by the way, you looked HOT in that dress, and what, uh, was underneath it.”

She ignored his last comment. “First off, Mama Mia exaggerates. I suggested set designs and they went with it. The music, yes, I am technically the music person. Costumes…” she gave a shrug and trailed off, leaving him to think that was also very much her choices as well but taking credit for it would move to prove him right. “Second of all, what does it matter what input I have? They’re the ones killing it on stage. Did you see those fucking heels the girls were wearing? That’s dedication.”

“Do you do that a lot?” he asked.

“What?”

“Deny how good you are… At singing, at… everything?”

She rolled her eyes again and he felt himself growing irritated now.

“I’m serious, Y/N.”

“Ok, you’re serious,” she said, sort of mocking his voice. “No, I don’t always do that. I know I can sing and play music. But that’s when it’s just me up there. I wasn’t solely responsible for that show, so I won’t take it.”

“I get that. I do… probably more than you know. That being said, you should take some credit, because you directed the hell out of it.”

“I’m not a director, Jensen.”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. “Director is in your fucking title for the show… Music DIRECTOR! You know, I admire you, a lot. I have since seeing you sing last night. Spending the day with you just reaffirmed everything my gut told me the second you stepped on that stage. You’re so damn talented. Your creative vision is amazing and your ability to execute it… God damn, it’s incredible. But you have to be the most insufferable, stubborn woman I’ve ever met!”

Y/N found his exasperation slightly amusing, leaving him feeling further annoyed by her. Yet, it wasn’t enough to dampen his feelings for her. In fact, he wasn’t exactly thrilled at the affection he had for guitar girl growing. Feelings were messy and he’d had enough of that lately.

“That’s funny?”

“Very,” she replied.

The way she looked at him sometimes, so challenging—almost like she was issuing him a dare—was driving him crazy. He calmed the flustered arousal she caused and considered his next move. Deciding to throw caution to the wind, Jensen finally asked her what he’d been wanting too almost all day.

“Here’s something that isn’t funny…. I want you to come to work with me. I know I mentioned it earlier, and while I wasn’t a hundred percent serious, I am now. I want–no–NEED your vision. Not just for this area’s part of the festival, but the whole fucking shebang. Move to Austin and help me plan this thing.”

She stopped walking and just stared at him. Her face read genuine shock. “Do you know how crazy that sounds? I’ve known you for a total of twelve hours.”

“So? What does that matter?”

“It just seems sudden. You don’t know me. How do you know I’m trustworthy or qualified? I could be a crazy psycho–”

“Are you?” he laughed, as the crinkles around his eyes took shape.

“No… but…” she shrugged, trailing off unsure of what else to say. “I’m not an event planner. You know that right? It’s important to me that you know that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jensen turned and kept walking further down the beach, kicking sand with his bare feet as he went, and still able to hear Frankie singing in the breeze.

After a few steps, he turned back to face her, still slowly moving backward and had shoved his hands down into his pockets. “Look. I get that it’s sudden, and yeah, a little strange that I am asking you to uproot your life for a year to help me, a stranger, plan an event in a city more than a thousand miles away from your home. It’s not lost on me how off the wall that is. But…”

He trailed off and shrugged his shoulders. He watched her expression change half a dozen times in the few moments he stayed silent. Jensen tried to find the best approach to convince her to say yes, but it wasn’t easy. Y/N was a tough sell, she wasn’t like the typical women he met, either on set or off. She was stubborn and unwavering in her resistance to his charms. Not that he was trying to capture her attention romantically despite the feelings that were growing, but he did want her to come work with him.

“Name your price,” he challenged..

“Desperate much?” she scoffed. “What makes you think money will do the trick? I may work three jobs, hustle pool on the side and play any gig that comes my way, but, buddy… money is not my kryptonite. You keep your cash.”

“Fair enough. What if I told you that you would be helping kids in and around Austin get a Creative Arts program kicked off in the city?”

She froze again. Jensen took a moment to notice how the nearly full moon caressed the lines of her face as she stood motionless, her mind racing in thought. “Wait… that wasn’t in the paperwork. What program are you talking about?”

“It was, actually. Not sure exactly where, but with so many area businesses pitching in, and people coming in from all over the country, we thought the residual funding could be used to purchase a building and renovate it. Then giving it to a Board of Trustees that will be entrusted to run the Austin City Creative Arts Council.”

“Wow,” she mused, clearly impressed. “That sounds amazing. As a high school theater geek, I thank you for that. But, that doesn’t mean I need to move halfway across the country for a year to help you plan it.”

“Maybe, but it would be a hell of a lot of fun,” he smiled and nodded in a way that made him look like a kid himself.

“You don’t take no for an answer, do you?”

“Not usually. Especially when I think it’s important.”

“Me working for you on this, that’s important?” she paused in consideration. “Ok, I’ll bite. Make me an offer. What does this job entail?”

Jensen had a moment of hope and couldn’t hide the smile that flashed across his face. “Alright…” he began to contemplate everything he would happily do to get her to say yes. “I’ll get you a place to live with a year lease. Plus a car to get around. Salary is negotiable. I’ll pay for your move and whatever else you need to come out to Austin. Flights back home once a month if you want. What else?”

“What would be my role, exactly?”

“Creative Director? I mean, whatever you want your title to be, you got it. I want you to help me with making it fun, and unique. Definitely help me with music—help me find it, plan it, convince other artists to come out and play. We do these conventions, all over the country and I can’t tell you how many people come up after the Saturday Night Specials and tell us about their own band, or music. I want those artists to come out and play, too.”

“They’re already coming to you, how would my presence help at all?”

Jensen just starred, half flabbergasted half amused, at the resistance she was giving him. “You know, most people would jump at this chance.”

“I’m not most people, Jensen.”

“Clearly. I guess that’s why I am asking you and not anyone else.”

That seemed to grab her attention and as they continued to walk further down the beach, she grew quiet and all he could hope was that she was honestly contemplating his offer.

“Alright,” she said, but stopped walking. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll consider it on one condition… “

“Name it. Anything.”

“You may be sorry you said that.”

“Trust me, I can see the value you of having you around as this thing gets worked out. I am willing to do anything–short of murder and armed robbery–to make this happen.”

“Ok…” she said and grinned in a way that made him, only for a moment, regret the anything part of his statement. “I want you to strip to your underwear, jump into the surf and sing the first verse to Joy to the World.”

Jensen’s face stuttered through a range of emotions as the lines of his forehead pinched together in confusion. “I’m–wait, what?”

“You heard me,” she said and crossed her arms over her chest. “Strip, plunge, sing. Do that, and I’ll come work for you.”

“Jeremiah the bullfrog song?!” he asked again, curious as to why she would pick that song. But then he saw the challenging gleam in her eyes again, and it was all he needed. Holding her stare intensely, he discarded his shirt and jeans, leaving him only in a pair of dark blue boxers. She raised one brow as he silently questioned her directions with his own expression.

“Chicken?”

“Not even a little,” he said and turned to face the ocean.

Before she could say anything else, Jensen tore across the sand and dove head first into the chilly, October surf. The moment he popped up from the water, he threw his hands up in the air and began to dramatically sing the song she requested. The chill of the water gave him a much needed adrenaline rush and as he continued singing, he got more and more animated about it. He could hear her laughing and the sound of it was all he needed to keep going.

Rounding to the last repeat of the chorus, Jensen finally started making his way out and the closer he got, he realized she had recorded him on her phone.

“Did you video that?” he asked, half freaked, half pissed.

“I did,” she chuckled and played it back, showing him the screen.

Jensen gathered up his clothes and started putting them back on. “What the fuck for?”

“It’s about trust, Jensen. I’ve been burned by a lot of people. Family, friends, lovers, business associates… I’ve learned that trust isn’t just something to hand out like business cards. I want to trust you, because I think you’re a good person. But I need to really believe it. So… if you want me to trust you enough to give up my steady work and life here, to move halfway across the country for a job that will be done in a year. You need to trust me that I won’t post that video online.”

“Sounds more like blackmail to me,” he teased and pulled his shirt back over his head, beginning to shiver from the water.

“Maybe it is a little, but part of trust is believing that I am a good person, too. I wouldn’t just release that to the public if you screw me over. That’s the difference between it being blackmail or not.”

Jensen snorted a laugh and realized that Y/N wasn’t like other girls at all. He knew she was different, definitely special, but she was also very self protective and self reliant. She had a way of thinking around things that he found fascinating. If she were to give up her life in Seaside, and move to Austin for him, it was a huge deal and not just something she would do on a whim.

“I actually get that,” he mused. “So, does that mean you’re taking the job?”

“Looks that way,” she said and stuck out her hand to his to shake. “You set me up there, pay for the move and promise a one-year contract and we got a deal.”

“Deal,” he said and took her head in agreement.

The moment his fingers wrapped around her petite hand, he realized that this woman—this incredible force of nature that blew into his life like the infamous Superstorm Sandy—would leave him in a wake of wreckage. The question was, would it turn up unexpected treasure or just a mess he would eventually have to clean up. Either way, he didn’t care. Y/N said yes and that’s all that mattered to him.


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen was fucking cold. 

He didn’t start feeling the chill set into his bones until they made their way back up the beach towards where he left his car. They chatted casually on the walk back, mostly about the festival, and Austin itself, but when they reached her front door he found it hard to say goodbye. Unless he was mistaken, he got the vibe that maybe she didn’t want too, either.

They stood outside her door for another three or four minutes and she finally noticed his body trembling.

“Hey, why don’t you come inside? After all, it is my fault that you’re shivering. I think I have some clothes here that may fit you alright since you’re completely soaked through.”

“It’s fine. I’ll make it back to the hotel alright,” he said through chattering teeth.

“Nonsense, come on. Besides, we’re going to be spending a lot of time together over the next year. Might as well start getting used to you being around all the time.” She winked and unlocked the front door.

Stepping into her bungalow, he felt instantly comfortable in her space. The furniture was older, but it was still in decent shape and very cozy. The couch was draped in oversized fleece blankets with a few plush throw pillows. There were nautical decorations, pictures of fishing boats all over the walls, and even the curtains covering the small kitchen window bore anchors and sailboats. A small hallway divided the room, separating the living room from the eat-in kitchen that led to the bedrooms and single bathroom.

“Cute place,” he said after looking around. “Not exactly what I would have imagined your taste to be.”

She laughed. “Not my taste, at all. This was my dad’s house, long before it was mine. I just never wanted to change it after he passed.”

“Oh,” Jensen replied, “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. It was a long time ago, but, thanks…” she trailed off for a moment but came back around. “Let me get you those clothes so do you don’t develop pneumonia on my watch.”

Y/N disappeared down the hallway, and Jensen took the time to really look at the pictures that lined the walls. He saw a small girl, and boy slightly older standing with a man in his forties on the dock. Beside them was a fifty-plus foot fishing boat.

“That’s him,” she said upon her return and pointed to the man in the photo. “That’s my dad, Monty, and that was his boat, Song of the Sea.”

“Cool name. That’s you, then?” he asked, pointing to the girl beside Monty.

“Yep, that’s me, and that’s my brother Dave.”

“Is he a fisherman, too?”

“Nope. He’s a dickhead. I don’t know what he does for a living now. We haven’t talked in years.”

“Oh…”

“Clothes,” she said and handed them out to him. “If you’re hungry I have some leftover pizza in the fridge I can warm up. It’s from Saw Mill.”

“I am down for some pizza,” he smiled, feeling quite content with the direction the evening took, despite his dip in the ocean. “Is there a place I could change?”

“Yeah, down the hall, last door on the left.”

Jensen found the bathroom and stripped out of his clothes. The room was blessedly warm, allowing his skin to unfreeze the moment the wet clothes had been removed. He borrowed one of the towels that had been hanging on the back of the door and used it to dry his hair. Once he had on the fresh set of clothes, he paused and looked at his reflection in the mirror. It was the first chance he had to be alone with his own thoughts since arriving at the Bamboo, and as his own green eyes stared back he didn’t know where to begin processing it all.

Twenty-four hours ago he was laying in his hotel bed, dreaming about some mystery girl, and now he was standing in her house, about to gnaw on some pizza and discuss how she’s going to be working with him over the course of the next year.

 _Are you out of your fucking mind?_  He silently asked his reflection. He decided he must be, but he also decided that he didn’t necessarily care. When he searched his genuine feelings, the ones he kept very close to the vest, he was happy. He felt good about making her the offer and even better that she accepted it. The other ones, the tangled mess of clingy, fawning emotions that bubbled so close to the surface were the ones he didn’t want.

 _You can get to know her, be her friend, without it turning to sex. Certainly, no feelings. This is work. She’s smart and creative and will be an asset to the team bringing this to life_ , he said to himself, almost like a mantra.

Then, out loud. “It  _can’t_  be anything more… It. can’t. Whatever you think you feel… you don’t. It’s just–”

A soft knock at the door interrupted his train of thought. “Yeah?”

“Sorry, I just wanted to see if you wanted a beer with your pizza. I have water and some apple juice, or–”

“A beer sounds great,” he replied. “Be out in a minute.”

It was quiet again, and he assumed she must have walked away. Remembering their earlier exchange on the word, he didn’t want to take the chance she would hear him.  _One beer, one slice of pizza, then back to the hotel and tomorrow back to Vancouver._  You got this, his inner voice promised himself.

Two beers and two slices later, Jensen was sitting criss-cross applesauce on Y/N’s floor, with her next to him and a photo album depicting her years in drama club productions in front of them.

“Oh, this one,” she started and pulled it from its plastic sleeve pausing to look at it long enough for one of those soft, reflective smiles to touch her lips. “This is from when we did Grease.”

“That’s you there?”

“Yup. I was the understudy for Sandy. The lead they cast was a healthy specimen, so I got to play one of the Pink Ladies instead.”

“I bet you would have made a kick-ass Sandy,” he teased and took a closer look at the picture.

She snatched it from his fingers and returned it to the album. “Nah, I was way too wild to be Sandy. The girl they cast was purity defined. She did a great job. Frenchie, maybe, or Rizzo… I could have pulled off Rizzo.”

“Now we’re talking. Rizzo, she was my favorite. I always had a thing for the bad girls,” he mused with a devilish grin before finishing off his second beer.

“Want another?” Y/N asked and got up from the floor.

Jensen considered it and waved her off. “Nah, I should probably get back to the hotel.”

“Right…” she mumbled and opened the fridge to grab herself another beer. “I mean, it’s after two. If you wanna crash in the spare bedroom, it’s open.”

“You’d be okay with that?” He watched her reaction closely. Yes, they had grown close in the day they spent together, and he was oddly comfortable with the idea of crashing at her place. But he didn’t want to seem as if he was continually pushing himself on her.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t.”

“Not sick of me yet?”

“I was sick of you after you spilled the tea all over the table. But,” she paused to shrug and grab a second beer from the fridge. She handed it to him and continued, “now, I dunno, I’m kinda used to ya.”

“Alright, sleepover it is,” he chuckled and sipped at his beer.

He liked Y/N, a lot. Physical attraction aside, she was someone he enjoyed spending time with. She made things easy; the business talk, the ‘get-to-know-you’ banter, all of it. Y/N made just sitting on her floor looking at old pictures fun, and that wasn’t something he’d had much of in his life, as of late. All the drama, and push ‘n pull with Dee has sucked him dry. Fun and easy going hadn’t been on his radar in a damn long time.

Jensen was growing more than a little curious about her. She was a mystifying puzzle that he felt compelled to put together so he could see the whole picture of who she was. Yet, he also knew that it wouldn’t be an easy task. Y/N didn’t strike him as the kind of girl that would give away all her secrets or feelings to just anyone. He was going to have to work on it, but if their day together so far had been an indication of her willingness to one day let him in, he felt pretty confident that they could be really good friends.

“So, I gotta ask…” he started, not exactly hesitant on asking, but on how to ask what he wanted to know. “Earlier, when you dared me to polar plunge… why add the song in?”

“Joy to the World?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N closed the album and drew in a subtle and slow deep breath, drawing her knees up into her chest then taking time to consider how to respond. In the quiet of the room, she found Jensen’s eyes and held on to them. He saw hers growing damp at the corners and watched her ignore the one, lone tear that slid down her cheek.

“When I was a kid, I had a bunch of phobias. Some were normal, some, not so much. It got really bad after a while, and my dad tried everything to help me. One day, we were going to the market, and for some reason I was so, so scared to go in. It was summer vacation, and I was gawky and awkward. A bunch of Bennies were hanging out in front and I was petrified to walk past them,” she saw the confusion on his face and clarified. “Bennies are what locals here call the people that come here for the summer.”

Jensen nodded in understanding and then unknowingly mimicked her position and rested his chin on his knees as he listened on.

“Anyway, he said to me… ‘they aren’t going to say a word. I promise’. I said that I didn’t believe him. Trust was scarce in those days. My mom had just left, and everything was upside down. So I even had trouble trusting my dad, the one person I loved more than anyone in the world. He said, ‘Y/N, I’ll bet you anything they don’t’. We finally came to the arrangement that if I was wrong and he was right, then I had to give him the benefit of the doubt the next time something like this came up.”

“And if you were right?” Jensen asked.

“Well, I then got to embarrass him in public by making him walk around and sing Joy to the World. It was the song he hated the most,” she laughed at some long ago memory that she kept to herself, and lingered in it for a while. “But, I don’t know, it just became our thing… he’d say trust me and when it was super important that I did, he would simply say, ‘I bet you Joy to the World that I’m right’.”

Y/N cleared her throat and tightened the grip she had around her legs. This time when she caught Jensen’s gaze, he noticed the tears had finished falling and that her soft smile was directed at him.

“That’s how I knew I could accept this offer and trust you. You did it without question. The fact that you sang the song and committed like you did… I knew my dad would’ve told me to trust you. He would have bet–”

“The world,” Jensen finished for her.

“Yeah. Exactly.”

“So, did he have to sing it that first day?”

Y/N chuckled. “Nope. They didn’t even give me a second glance as we walked by.”

“Did he ever have to sing it?”

She lapsed into her contemplative expression, but only for a moment before bringing up her alluring (y/c) eyes to meet his. “Only once. But that’s a story for another time. I think we should take the opportunity to talk about Austin and when this is all going to happen.”

For another hour Jensen and Y/N talked and planned her move to Austin. Exhaustion was finally setting in and neither of them could keep their eyes open. Y/N showed him to the spare room and turned to walk back up the hallway to her own room. Jensen said goodnight, and before he could turn to go it, he saw her pause at her door and look back at him.

“Jensen… I’m sorry if I was cold to you when we first met. I tend to put up a pretty high wall sometimes. I hope you didn’t take it personally.”

“I didn’t.”

“Ok, good. I’m glad the day went the way it did. You surprised me. Not many people can surprise me. I take back what I said earlier. You’re not a shitty actor,” she said with a playful twitch of a smile. “Night, Hollywood.”

Jensen woke a few hours after going to bed and while he wasn’t exactly rested, the four hours he got was enough to energize him to reach the airport. It was a long flight back to Vancouver after all, plenty of time to sleep then. He didn’t want to miss his last chance to see an East Coast sunrise.

Tiptoeing through the bungalow, so as not to wake Y/N, he quietly opened the front door and stepped out into the autumn air. The day was dawning bright with a cotton candy sunrise over the ocean and barely a cloud in sight.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he heard Y/N say.

He whipped around and saw her sitting on the small bench to the side of the house. She had a blanket around her shoulder and a steaming cup in her hands.

“Coffee?” she asked, holding it out to him.

“Bless you,” he sighed gratefully and took the cup. To his surprise, he found she took hers just how he liked his.

She moved over on the bench giving him room to sit and watch the sunrise. He closed his eyes and relished in the luscious taste of the coffee as it warmed his throat.

“Thank you,” he said, handing it back.

“Keep it, that was my third cup,” she chuckled, then reached over to the side of the bench and pulled up her guitar resting it on her lap and lightly strumming the strings.

“Won’t the neighbors complain?”

“They would, but there aren’t any. All these places are summer rentals. Closest year-round neighbors are the Sinatra’s down the beach.”

“Seriously? So, it’s just you out here almost all year long?”

“Yup.” She nodded and continued to strum the guitar. The melody she was plucking was familiar, and after a few more beats Jensen came to recognize it.

“That song…” he started and then felt his heart start to beat faster as he realized where he remembered it from. “Its…  _shit_!”

“Well, damn, tell me how you really feel,” she snorted, unsure if she should be offended or laugh.

“No! I Didn’t mean it like that. I can’t remember the name of it, but it’s familiar as hell. Actually heard it in a dream the other night,” he admitted without realizing how close he came to adding ‘ _a dream about you, in fact_ ’.

“Oh! It’s from Grease,  _You’re the One That I Want_ , but like, way slower,” she shrugged. “After talking about the play with you last night, it got stuck in my head. I couldn’t sleep, so I made coffee, grabbed the guitar and came outside to wait for sunrise.”

Y/N looked away from the guitar and over to Jensen. She watched him curiously for a moment, still playing, and with each passing note the song became clearer and clearer in his head. They held each other’s gaze for a moment, and he wondered if she felt whatever it was that sat between them. In the span of thirty seconds, he had at least a dozen “I wonder” thoughts cross his mind.

_…if her heart is pounding, too_

_…if she dreamed the song, too_

_…if she couldn’t sleep because she was thinking about me like I was thinking about her_

“I got chills, they’re multiplying, and I’m losing control,” she sang, in a breathy whisper that matched the volume of her guitar. “Cause the power you’re supplying….”

Her voice gave him goosebumps across his skin, running from his wrist all the way to his neck.

She trailed off with singing but continued the humming the melody as she plucked the chords and brought her gaze to settle out on the horizon. Jensen wished she had kept singing; he wanted to beg her too, but he was afraid that speaking would break the magic of the moment.

From the other side of the yard, a loud buzzing was coming from Jensen’s car. His brow furrowed trying to recognize what it was, then suddenly jumped up and put the cup down on the bench before jogging through the cold sand to the car. When he came back, his cell was in hand as he was scrolling through messages.

“Completely forgot about this last night,” he mumbled to himself. “Yiiikes.”

“Missed a lot, did ya?” she asked, still strumming.

“Yeah. Looks like there was a change in my flight again. Jared has called at least half a dozen times, and about five texts from work. Good times.”

“Sorry I took you off the grid. Just blame me,” Y/N shrugged.

He watched her for a second and realized how carefree and easy she could be when she was comfortable around someone. There was an aura of calm that surrounded her at times and he wanted to absorb it like a sponge. He felt settled around her, and that was something he could get used too.

“I’m not even a little sorry, though, I guess I should get my ass in gear and get back. But…” he trailed off and went back to his phone, pulling up his calendar, “let’s figure out exactly when I should book your ticket to Austin.”

Y/N stopped strumming and gently rested the guitar on the ground beside the bench. She thought for a minute before replying. “I would need at least two weeks to get my shit together and tie up loose ends. So, let’s say, the 18th?”

“Yeah, that works for me. I may be in Vancouver, but I will make sure everything is all set for you.”

Before Y/N could say anything else, his phone started buzzing again. He answered it and began pacing between the house and the car. To give him some privacy, Y/N grabbed her guitar and went back into the bungalow.

Not five minutes later, Jensen came back inside and began to gather up the rest of his stuff to change, but she waved him off. “You can wear those back. Just junk them when you’re there. They belonged to my brother. Doubt he’ll be here anytime soon.”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” she snarked, making it clear brother Dave was a sore subject.

“Alright, well, I guess I should head back. I got the 18th in my calendar, and I will call you when I have more details about the flight and apartment. I’m really looking forward to working with you on this.”

“Same here,” she said and boosted herself to sitting on her kitchen counter. “It’s gonna be a good time.”

Jensen had hoped she would see him to the door, and maybe even get a chance to touch her in some way; a handshake, maybe a hug, even. But she didn’t budge from the counter and he wasn’t going to push her boundaries.

“Thanks for last night, the whole thing was a lot of fun.” Picking up the car keys from the table he moved towards the door, pausing one last time in hopes she’d come to him,

“It was my pleasure. The guys loved having you at the Bamboo. Save travels, ok? I’ll see you in two weeks.”

And just like that, Jensen felt discouraged, like maybe he had imagined their connection this whole time… had he? He tossed the keys up and caught them, and gave her a firm nod.

“Yes, I will. Two weeks. Take care, Y/N. We’ll talk soon.”

When he was sure she wouldn’t budge, he slipped out of the house and exhaled a rush of air from his lips when he reached the car. He got in, started it up and quickly backed down the dirt lane. Pausing before reversing out to the main drag, he threw it into park and rested his head against the headrest.

“You’re a jackass,” he mumbled to himself. “A grade A, idiotic, jackass.”

Hours later, while Jensen was mid-flight, pensive and unsure, obsessively replaying their entire day and night together, his cell phone started to vibrate from way down in his pocket. When he unlocked it and saw the text notification, he smiled.

From Y/N: _“Hope you landed safely. Don’t wanna lose the job before it starts. Take care, Hollywood. Can’t wait for the 18th”_

And just like that, he was smiling again.


	4. Chapter 4

The wheels touched down in Austin around three on the afternoon of the 18th. Y/N breathed a sigh of relief when she felt the wheels bounce against the pavement before the plane finally settled and glided to a stop on the runway. She hated to fly but knowing there would be a lot of air travel in her future, she sucked it up and got on the plane. She was just grateful for the ability to drink alcohol in flight.

Most of her stuff was sent ahead to the apartment Jensen had arranged for her. They had talked nearly every day over the last two weeks, and not solely about arrangements for her move. By the end of the first week, they were texting each other like old friends, sending memes and stupid things to make the other laugh. She was beginning to love his rather dry sense of humor and he seemed perfectly attuned to her sarcasm and sometimes inappropriate remarks.

Waiting by the luggage carousel, she adjusted the carry on around her shoulder as she thought back over the last couple weeks. It seemed impossible to go from pushing papers for Leo or tending bar at the Beachcomber, to landing at the Austin-Bergstrom International Airport on her way to work for Jensen Ackles, actor extraordinaire and current top contender for Austin’s sexiest philanthropist. Life was fucking crazy. It was the only explanation she could come up with.

Once she caught sight of her luggage, she effortlessly pulled it from the belt and made her way to exit the airport when she noticed a man dressed in a chauffeur’s hat and coat, holding a sign with her name.

“Seriously?” she laughed to herself as she approached the well-dressed gentleman. “That’s me. Jensen sent you?”

“Yes, ma’am. I have directions to take you to your new apartment.”

Internally, Y/N was vibrating with exhilaration. So much so that she was scaring herself. Moving to a new city for a new job was going to be exciting, but anytime she learned of some new detail he did to make her life in Austin more comfortable, she felt another rush of…  _something_  for him.

Thirty minutes later, the driver turned into a well-manicured development and drove around to the back end of the complex. Y/N was speechless at what she found waiting for her. The property manager was waiting stand by to give her the keys to both the residence and the key that unlocked the pool gate and clubhouse. After both the manager and chauffeur took their leave, she used the key to enter what she thought was her apartment; but apartment wasn’t the right word. This was a three-story, brick-front townhouse with both a second and third-floor balcony that overlooked the river.

As she explored her new surroundings, she dug through her pocket until she found her cell, and hit Jensen’s number from her recent calls. Her eyes were wide with disbelief as she went through each room, lightly running her fingers along the cool wood of the furniture and across the various fabrics and upholsteries.

On the fourth ring, Jensen’s voice greeted her. “Hey, Trixie Luna. You hit town yet?”

“Yup, the eagle has landed, and apparently in an elaborate townhouse and not a simple apartment like was discussed.”

“Sue me. I found something better. Besides, we need an office for all this crap. Figured you could designate the third floor for that. Pretty big space and good lighting.”

“Well lookit you, being all Feng Shui and shit. I’m impressed.”

“I do what I can,” he joked. “I hate to cut you short, Trix, but I gotta run. Can I call you later tonight?”

“Yeah, for sure. Break a leg, Hollywood. And thanks for the upgraded digs. You’re a cool boss.”

“Like I said, I do what I can. Talk to you soon,” he laughed and with that, he was gone.

She knew he was busy working on the show, and yet there was still that slight twinge of disappointment. She hated that there was a part of her feelings, the ones she shoved way down deep that was already attached to Jensen. Y/N felt oddly protective of him though she had zero reason too. Very few people that had come into her life got to this place in it. As much as she resisted, over the last couple of weeks, she allowed him into her heart and that was just through their one day together and hundreds of texts. What would happen now that they were going to be seeing each other regularly…

Not that she needed any of that in her life. Romantically there hadn’t been anyone important since Nathan left. The day she came home to the bungalow they used to share, and his things were gone, she swore off love right then and there. After the ups and downs, she had with him in the last few years of their relationship and now this, she didn’t care if it was a knee jerk reaction to the end of her ten-year relationship. She promised herself that no man would ever hurt her that way again. Either way, she was done. It was too painful and not an experience Y/N thought she would ever want to deal with again.

She shivered in the middle of the apartment even as his name passed through the minefield that was her memories. It was years ago and not something she wanted to derail her from where she was now. Shaking it off as best she could, she grabbed her bags and busied herself with unpacking. In the second-floor spare bedroom, she found the boxes she’d sent ahead, all neatly arranged along the wall with the labels facing out.

“Damn,” she mused, impressed by the effort, and found the one she was looking for.

A few hours later, after arranging her bedroom and bathroom toiletries, she then cooled off in her luxurious new oversized stall shower. Dressing in ripped jean shorts and an old Pink Floyd shirt that had been cut into a tank top, and Y/N continued to investigate her new surroundings.

Her stomach began to rumble and she explored the townhouse, causing the realization that there was probably no food in the house. But when she checked the fridge, it was filled with everything she could need; except for pizza and Y/N had a craving for it. On her phone, she navigated to find a local place and called in a delivery to her new address.

Forty minutes later, the knock came. Opening the door she expected to see a strange, pimple-faced kid with a big cardboard box of delicious, cheesy pizza. Instead, Jensen was staring back at her, smiling like an idiot and holding the cardboard box with her dinner.

“What are you doing here?” she asked eagerly and taking the box from his hands, bringing it into the kitchen.

Jensen followed her in and closed the door behind him. “Are you happy to see me or the pizza?”

“Can’t it be both?” she asked and grabbed a slice, immediately taking a huge bite and groaning in delight. Jensen chuckled as she ignored the drip of grease running down her chin, and she didn’t budge when he absently wiped it away for her flesh. “You want some?” she asked.

He waved her off with a chuckle. “I’m good.”

“So seriously, what are you doing here? You said you were in Vancouver until end of next week,” she said, her mouth still full from the pizza.

He watched her with a curious grin, then shook his head. “That changed. Plus, I really wanted to be here on your first day. Thought maybe I’d take you out for dinner, show you a little bit of the city. But, uh, I can leave you alone with the pizza if you like.”

“Oh, that sounds fun! I’m down. Just let me change quick. I can save the pizza for breakfast tomorrow.”

“You know there’s a fridge full of food, right? You don’t have to eat like a college freshman.”

“I saw, thank you for that, by the way. And listen here, pal, there’s nothing wrong with pizza for breakfast. It covers all the major food groups.”

Jensen rolled his eyes at her. “Go change, let me feed you a proper meal.”

“Yes, sir!” she teased and gave him a mock salute before turning to run back upstairs. She stopped and came back down, peaking her head around the corner of the wall. “Dress code?”

“Casual, comfortable, something that maybe doesn’t have pizza grease on it,” he smirked in a way that enhanced the crinkles at the corner of his eyes and rounded out his lips to be even more enticing than they already were.

“Ha ha ha,” she mocked and flipped him the middle finger before darting back upstairs.

Inside, she was screaming at herself to just tell him to leave now, before that thing happened that she absolutely swore to herself would not happen. Yet, she ignored it and finished getting ready to spend a night out in Austin with Jensen.

After putting on a pleated black skirt and pale pink top that was both comfortable and slightly revealing, they got in his car and headed off to a place he loved called the Salty Sow. A popular restaurant in Austin, its varied American cuisine menu left her feeling ravenous, everything they ordered sounded heavenly. They served a wide variety of craft beers, including a couple that came straight from Jensen’s brewery. It wasn’t lost on her how proud and happy he appeared once she raved about the brew, then informed her where it came from.

“Jesus… this is good. I’ve had a lot of different kinds of beer in my day, but this is magnificent. We need to get this into the Beachcomber next summer!”

“Seriously?” his asked, his entire face bound into a huge grin. “That’s my personal favorite.”

“God yes. This is like nectar of the Gods, Jay. I bet Leo would kill for some of this in his restaurants.”

Y/N finished that one and ordered another, leaving Jensen to stick to sweet tea since he was the designated driver. He promised to have someone drop off a few six packs at her place of the now infamous brew and they continued stuffing themselves full at the Salty Sow.

From there they drove around the city and he took her to all the places he was working on securing for the festival, including Mayfield Park and Nature Reserve, and Zilker Metro Park.

“All of these places, it’s like they were made for this festival,” she said, honest exuberance backing them. “I mean, how has this not been done before?”

“Oh, it has. There’s the Austin City Limits music festival, but this is different. What we’re trying to do here is get people more involved in the community. Then a lot of the portions of the money raised goes back into the community.”

“I think it’s brilliant. I mean, if we had something like this in Seaside, I would have been all over it. I can’t wait to start working!”

“I’m glad because we start tomorrow.”

From up in the park, there were still some kids running around, having a spirited game of tag out in the meadow. Y/N and Jensen watched them for a moment, and she felt a swarm of ideas hit her; like her muse just took hold and shoved them into her head all at once.

“Good, because I am already inspired and have a bunch of ideas I want to work out,” she said with a satisfied grin. So many thoughts were fighting for dominance, she wasn’t sure which one to start with.

“Care to share with the class?” he asked, amused by her expression.

“No, not yet. Give a girl time to scheme.”

“You got it, Trix,” he responded.

“So that one’s gonna stick, huh?” she asked with a raised brow.

“Hey, if the corset fits…” he shrugged and winced when she playfully punched his arm.

Once he was clear of her assault, he continued. “I guess we should head back, let you get some rest before I put you to work tomorrow.”

As if on cue, a yawn escaped her while the food and beer from the Salty Sow settled into her stomach. “Yes, sleep is required. Though, I hate for this to be over already. I’m dying to see more of the city.”

“Who says we can’t go out again tomorrow night? I’m in town for three days, and have zero plans but to hang out with you.”

Y/N felt like she’d been hit in the chest by a brick, the way the air was knocked out of her. Jensen was gazing at her while he said it, the look of which made her unsure if he was teasing, or if he wasn’t. There was a strange duality growing where she knew that their friendship was new and still very tentative–but–sometimes he would look at her like she was the most important thing in the world.

His gaze always lingered a beat too long, the text exchanges always tiptoed the line of what is deemed appropriate between friends and co-workers. There was an edge to everything he did and said, that constantly made her question his real intentions. But never in a way that would cause her to distrust him. The only person she didn’t trust right now, was herself when she was around him.

They got back to his car, and he opened the door for her as he had done at every other stop so far. During the short ride home, it was quiet, but she could occasionally feel his eyes drifting towards her in the passenger seat. Before she knew it,  he was walking her to her front door and saying goodbye. He didn’t move to hug her or even shake her hand. When she invited him in for a drink, he declined.

He did seem regretful when he passed on her offer, somehow that made her feel a little better. “I would, but if I do I know we’ll be up all night talking.” There it was, that smile that ensconced his entire face, but softer and somewhat wistful. “Unfortunately, I’m beat. Raincheck though, okay.”

“Absolutely. Thanks again for dinner,” she called out after he started to walk away.

He turned on his heel to face her but continued walking back towards his car. “Thanks for uprooting your life for me!” he called back. He gave her one last wave and disappeared into the parking lot

For the next couple months, Y/N and Jensen put their heads together and developed a full proof plan to make the festival go off without a hitch. The ideas she would bring to their meetings blew him away, and she was equally impressed with his vast knowledge of how to go about bringing them to life. They worked together in tandem so well that before she knew it, it was nearing Christmas and time to put on the brakes for event planning.

With a lot of the offices closing, and vendors busy for the holidays, there wasn’t much more they could do until after the new year. That was when he was going to finally have her officially meet the rest of the hardworking group that were volunteering their time to help pull everything off.

Y/N had the chance to talk to them all through email or on conference/Skype calls with Jensen while he was in Vancouver or on the road for a convention. She felt like she knew them already; Rob, Rich, Jason, and Jared… they were like old friends at this point and embraced her as part of the team. Now, just days before she would be heading home for the holidays, she was sitting in the third-floor office, skyping with Rob Benedict and Jensen about potential bands and how to handle scouting them.

“There are at least a dozen bands in Nashville I know would be available for this. Chicago, too,” Robbie added, running his hand over his beard. “Y/N, can you come to the ChiCon that weekend? Maybe you and I could hit a few of the clubs, while this one does his thang at the panels.”

“Don’t you have  _thaangs_  to do at the con too, Robbie?” she chuckled.

“Maybe. But not as much as him.”

“Hey, come on now. I wanna check out the bands, too!” Jensen butted in, faking offense.

“But that makes you the third wheel to me and Robbie’s band date,” she teased, making Robbie also laugh and earning him a punch in the arm from Jensen.

“Whose side are you on, man?”

“Oh, I side with the pretty girl. Always…” he replied with a deadpan expression. Jensen and Robbie held each other’s gaze for a moment before turning back to the screen and Y/N.

Jensen finally shrugged. “I can’t–I can’t blame him there.”

Rolling her eyes, Y/N sat back in her desk chair and sighed. “Alright, you two. I should shove off. Got some packing to do before I leave tomorrow night. If we–”

“Leave? Jensen asked, suddenly panicked. “Leave for where?”

“Home, dummy. Going back to Seaside for Christmas, remember? Leo’s big family reunion party.”

“Oh shit, right. Sorry. I forgot,” he said, waving it off. “Well, go pack, I’ll call you tomorrow with a few last things.”

“Awesome, thanks, Jay. I’m off, then! Night, boys,” Y/N waved and ended the connection with them as they went out play fighting with each other. “Giant children,” she groaned as she closed the laptop screen.

Over the twenty-four hours, she ran her errands and moved about the townhouse, packing for a week’s trip home. She was looking forward to going to Leo’s family party at the hotel, and being back in her bungalow would be nice, too. Yet, part of her was quickly becoming to think of Austin as home, and she was going to miss it; even if it was for only ten days.

Finishing all the arrangements for her trip, she called the car service and asked for them to come pick her up for the airport. While she was waiting, a knock at the door took her off guard. It was too early for the service to have arrived, so who would be knocking at nearly eleven at night? The last person she expected to see standing there, was Jensen.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, both happy and more than a little surprised to see him. “What are you doing here?”

“Flew back today to spend Christmas with my folks. My brother and sister and their families are coming in, so I figured why not. Christmas morning with the nieces and nephews sounded like a good time. I know you’re on your way out, but I wanted to stop by and give you this.”

From the pocket of his jacket, he pulled out a small, wrapped box with a red bow and handed it to her. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“I–but,” she stammered, speechless of the gesture. Her eyes flickered up and caught his in the dim light of her doorway. Her smile softened. “I didn’t get you anything… I feel terrible…”

“That doesn’t matter. I just happened to see this, and it made me think of you. That’s all. You don’t have to get me anything.”

“Thank you,” she exhaled and looked up again just to catch him watching her. He seemed pleased with her reaction and she was suddenly anxious to see what was inside.

Y/N went to open it and Jensen stopped her by gently placing his hand over hers. Anytime they touched, it was hard to ignore. Forget sparks and chemistry, this was something that could only be measured on the Richter scale, but neither of them had yet either acknowledged it or allowed themselves to be caught up in it. Fear was a hell of a thing.

“Wait till Christmas morning, would ya?”

From behind him, Y/N saw the cab pull up to the curb and her heart sank a little.

“Ok, car’s here anyway,” she said, then turned to tuck the present into her carry on bag that was hanging on the kitchen chair. She went to grab her suitcase, but Jensen snatched it from her and carried it out.

She quickly grabbed the rest of her stuff, locked the house and slowly strolled beside him towards the waiting car. Y/N wanted to say something but overwhelmed with his surprise visit and the gift he had brought her, she wasn’t sure what to say.

Jensen cleared his throat. “So, um, do you have any plans for New Year’s?”

She shook her head. “No, why?”

“Friend of mine is throwing a party. Thought maybe, if you were back in time, you’d want to go. No pressure, it’s totally fi–”

“I’d love to,” she replied quickly, surprised by her own lack of hesitation.

“Awesome. Ok… well, I guess I will talk to you after Christmas, and we can make plans for the party.”

“Sounds great,” she replied and watched as he lifted the last suitcase into the cab’s trunk.

Before she even she knew what she was doing, Y/N wrapped her arms up around Jensen’s neck and pulled him into a close-fitting embrace. She felt his body sigh and he returned it equally as tight.

“Merry Christmas, Jensen,” she whispered, and before pulling away from him completely, left a lingering, soft kiss on his stubbled cheek. She didn’t let him respond, nor did she look back at him. Y/N jumped into the backseat of the cab and took off for the airport without looking back. 

Christmas morning.

Y/N woke in her bed at the bungalow. Leo insisted she come to stay with him after the party, but she promised she would be back to visit later in the day. Y/N needed a little time to be alone with her thoughts. She did promise, however, that she would return for Christmas dinner, which seemed to be enough to appease her uncle. Besides, that morning, she wanted to be alone to open her present from Jensen.

She waited, just like he asked her to do, and took it outside, along with a cup of steaming hot coffee. Y/N looked out over the snow-covered beach, the familiar sounds of gulls and crashing waves made her soul feel at peace, and her lips drifted into a contented grin.

Y/N sat on the bench that she once shared with him and looked out over the sunrise. Seeing the colors that were painted across the morning sky, made her realize that she missed him. They were almost the same hues as they were the morning after Jensen spent the night. Slowly, she pulled the gift from the pocket of her robe and began to gingerly remove the bow. Then found a corner of tape, gently lifting it as to not destroy the paper. Special gifts needed to be savored as they were opened, her father once told her. Since then, she took the practice seriously.

Finally getting the paper off unscathed, she saw the dark blue box with the store’s name,  _The Blue Swan_ , etched on the top of the box in gold, script letters. When she got it open and lifted the small puff of cotton, she gasped at what it contained.

It was a pewter pendant in the shape of a guitar. On it were small, raised etchings of waves and a small flower, that swirled around where the soundhole would be and there sat a brilliant blue turquoise stone. Y/N carefully removed the necklace from the box and let the morning light strike it, giving her a better view.

If anyone had asked her then what she thought of it, she wouldn’t have been able to respond. It was more than beautiful, it was her. From the silver chain to the pewter engraved waves, to the stone itself; it was everything she would want in a piece of jewelry. She turned it over and sighed in bewilderment as she saw her stage name, “Trixie Luna” had been engraved on the back.

Y/N wanted to call him and to thank him for it; but also just wanted to hear his voice. It was already strange to have gone more than twenty-four hours without talking to Jensen, and now she felt like she almost needed too. There was only an hour time difference, so hopefully, she wouldn’t be catching him too early.

Somewhere in Texas, Jensen’s phone began to buzz relentlessly waking him from a broken, dream plagued sleep. He reached over for it, finding on the first try and groaned as he rolled over to hit answer, not bothering to look at who was calling.

“Hello?” he rasped in greeting, his throat still dry from sleep.

“Did I wake you?” she asked, her voice was soft and welcoming and made him perk up immediately.

“Nope, I’m up, I’m up. You okay?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to call and tell you Merry Christmas. Also to thank you for my gift. I absolutely love it,” she said the last part falling delicately from her lips.

He could hear the genuine affection in her words and it made him feel warm all over. “I’m glad. I just happened to see it while in Vancouver and it made me think of you.”

She wasn’t wearing it yet but had the charm resting against her fingers, the pad of her thumb caressing the blue stone. “How did you know I loved turquoise?”

“I, uh, had no idea, actually,” he chuckled. Jensen sat up and ran his hand nervously through his fluffy, unkempt hair. “I just saw in a jewelry shop downtown and thought it would look nice on you. How was Leo’s party?” he asked, quickly changing the subject.

“It was a family party, so, you know, gads of fun,” she exaggerated. “Got home on the early side, took a walk on the beach down to the Sinatra house and listened for a while. Went home, passed out on the couch and woke up in time for sunrise.”

“Kicking off Christmas with a beach sunrise isn’t too shabby,” he said and wished that he was back on the bench with her outside the bungalow. “How’s it lookin’?”

“A lot like the one you were here for. That’s kinda what made me call, I mean, besides wanting to thank you for the necklace.”

There was more than a few seconds that passed where neither of them knew what to say. In that silence so many curiosities sat, burdening their minds and their hearts; wondering what the other was really thinking. He wanted to know if she missed him, even though it had only been a couple days. She wondered if he was excited for the party because she was. So much so that she had actually planned on staying in New Jersey longer, but altered her flight just to get back in time for the New Year’s Eve party.

They both went to speak simultaneously and then had that awkward, nervous chuckle. In the background of Jensen’s call were the shouts and wails of excitement that could only be made by children on Christmas morning. Knowing he was with his family, she decided to keep the call short and sweet.

“I don’t want to keep you, so I’ll let you go. Thank you, again, for the necklace. It’s absolutely beautiful.”

“You’re very welcome. Hey, we’re still on for New Year’s, right?”

“Oh absolutely! I’m really looking forward to it. I meant to ask you and I forgot, is there a dress code for this thing?”

“What is it with you and dress codes? You go to Catholic school or something?”

“Only in your dreams, Jensen,” she teased. She’d been bold with him like this before, but even that one made her cringe a little.  _Why do I let him do this to me?_  she thought and bit down on her lip

“Who told? It was Robbie, wasn’t it?” he replied. He could feel his heart starting to beat a little faster, just as it always did when their conversations took this turn.

“Are you implying that you’ve had dreams about me in a Catholic school girl uniform and that you told Robbie about them?” she gasped, feigning outrage. If she only knew how it was affecting him…

Before he could respond, more excited commotion was coming from downstairs, along with someone now knocking on his door.

“I, uh,” he paused with a nervous chuckle before lowering the phone and yelling at the door, “Be right there!” Taking in a deep breath, he brought the cell back to his ear. “I better get down there before they break down the door. Merry Christmas, Y/N. I’m really glad you like the present… and that you called.”

“Merry Christmas, Jay,” she said. Then, with a momentary bout of vulnerability, “I’m glad I called, too. Bye.” She ended the call and clung to the phone, pressing it into her chest. With her free hand, she looked at the charm again and smiled.

 _How the HELL am I going to get out of this without making the biggest mistake of my life?_  She asked herself, or maybe it was more to the universe. Either way, she could feel herself falling for him, despite the need not too. After all, she’d been through in her past, all the times she’d been used and discarded, Y/N had promised herself it would never happen again. No matter how good looking, charming or sweet the man could be.

“But then here comes Jensen,” she muttered out loud to the seagulls. “With his stupid perfect face, and his fucking charming ass smile. Being all supportive and encouraging…  _fuck_ … gives me presents and a cool job. The way he looks at me…  _fucking… jerk_ …”

Tipping her head back against the bench with a groan, the breeze picked up and on it, she heard the faintest hint of a melody. She got up and tucked her cell in her bathrobe pocket before clasping the necklace around her neck. It only took a minute to walk down the beach far enough to hear the music; Frank Sinatra’s voice clear on the breeze. It was faint, but she heard enough to recognize her dad’s favorite Frankie tune,  _I’ve Got a Crush On You_.

“Of course…” she muttered again and turned to go back home to the bungalow feeling anxious, excited, nauseous and maybe just a little bit infatuated with a man from Austin, Texas.

Reaching the path to her house from the beach, she stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed someone standing on her porch. With their back to her at first, it didn’t register who it was, but it should have. After all, she had spent years staring at him from all different angles. The man was tall, and even though the dark, shaggy hair she remembered from long ago was now neatly cut and styled, she still should have recognized him before he turned around.

“N–Nathan?” she asked through the bit of vile that rose in her throat. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Nathan fully turned and smiled in relief upon seeing her. “Hey… babe. Y/N. It’s been a while. M-Merry Christmas… I’m glad you’re home.”

Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, her fingers immediately clutching the charm she had just put around her neck. “What do you want, Nathan? Why are you here?”

He held up his hands and put on his crooked smile; the one that used to leave her weak in the knees but now just left her tired and broken. “I’m here to see my mom… thought I’d stop by, see if maybe we could talk.” Nathan saw her expression and knew he’d have to keep trying. He wouldn’t be able to just give her the sad, blue eyes like he used too. Y/N could be stubborn, he’d seen that many times over since they were kids; but after what he had put her through, he knew he was lucky she hadn’t punched him yet.

“Please, Y/N. It’s Christmas. Twenty minutes, and I’ll be out of your hair. Promise,” he pleaded, then held up his fingers. “Scout’s honor.”

She scoffed but flashed back to Jensen doing the same thing that night on the beach. She didn’t want to smile and have Nathan think it was for him, so she kept Jensen’s face in her mind, straightened her backbone and walked past him to go into the bungalow.

“Doesn’t count if you’re not a scout, asshole,” she muttered as she breezed past him.

Nathan thought for sure the door would be slammed in his face, but when he realized she left it open, he followed her inside.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reeling from a visit with her Ex while home for Christmas, Y/N goes back to Austin to get ready for the Padalecki’s New Year’s Eve party. That event turns everything upside for both Y/N and Jensen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all. Part five is from Y/N’s POV. There is also a playlist to go along with the series. Series Playlist: “When You Least Expect It” (Spotify). Two songs linked in this chapter, “Do I Move You” & “Up Cripple Creek” go back directly to this playlist.

Y/N stood at the kitchen counter, her fingers gripping the butcher’s block so hard it was turning her knuckles white. She tried to regulate her breathing, which would help slow the relentless pounding of her heart being fueled by the adrenaline rush of seeing Nathan again after so many years.

“It’s really good to see you,” he started, the tenor of his voice instantly drowning her in memories. The quiver that lived beneath it wasn’t lost on her either. In fact, she relished that he was nervous. Y/N hoped he was scared as hell.

“What do you want, Nathan?” she asked, finally turning to face him.

“Just to talk. To—”

“Bullshit. If you wanted to talk, there are phones for that.”

“You would have taken my call?”

“Probably not,” she shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest.

“See. Figured the drop by was better.” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jacket and began to slowly walk around the bungalow. “Wow, the place still looks exactly the same. It’s crazy…” he trailed off and snorted a laugh when he gazed at the pictures along the walls. “I actually miss it.”

“What?”

“The bungalow. You. Our life.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and felt the urge to scream at him to go. Her fingers crawled up and once again clutched her charm. “I won’t ask again, Nathan. What do—”

“…I want… yeah, I’m getting there. This isn’t easy, okay?” He sighed dramatically, something he had always done and plopped down onto the couch.

“I couldn’t care less how hard, whatever it is you wanna say, is for you to say. You ran out of sympathy from me when I came home and found every single one of your belongings gone. Hell, even before that. Because of you and your debts that you left me with, I had to borrow ten grand off of Leo. I’m still paying that back!”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m working now and I promise I’ll repay you. I was such a dick for leaving how I did. I was fucked up, babe. I was gambling and drinking and using—I was a mess.”

“I remember,” she sighed, exasperated and tired. She wanted him to go so she could melt back into the happy state she was in just after getting off the phone with Jensen. “So last chance to tell me why you’re here and bringing back those bad memories.”

“They weren’t all bad,” he said with that crooked smile. “We had  _some_ good ones.”

“Nathan… if you don’t get to the fucking point, I will call the police and remind them of the restraining order—”

“Ok, ok… I came to try and make amends. I’m twelve stepping my way back to a better life. It’s taken a while, but I’m finally in a good place. I need to apologize for all the terrible things I’ve done. Especially to you. I’ve hurt you—”

“You have,” she interrupted. “Honestly, I don’t know what hurt worse. When you left without a word or when you broke my nose.”

“Y/N—I…” he trailed off again and shrugged pathetically. “I was a horrible person then. I know it’s not an excuse. If I could go back in time and change everything, I would. We’d be married, have kids… we’d have a life together here.”

“Well, thank God you can’t. Look, Nathan, I’m glad you got yourself straight. I am. But my life right now is good, and I wouldn’t  _want_  to change a thing.”

“I heard. Got yourself a fancy new job,” he said with a smile, but Y/N knew him well enough that behind that smile was a fit of pure, seething jealousy. It was always there in him; lurking.

“Who spilled the beans?”

“Leo. I ran into him last week when I got back. I asked about you, and he said that you had moved to Austin temporarily for work.”

“Did he?” She reminded herself to thank him for that later. “Well, then you know I’m busy. I’m only home for a couple days—”

“He said a week.”

“Leo was wrong. I’m cutting the trip short. I have an event to go to on New Year’s that I need to get back for.”

“Oh,” he replied. There was a lot packed into that ‘ _oh_ ’. “Y/N, I know I don’t deserve to ask you for anything. But for a long time, we loved each other. We’ve been together since we were kids. Me, you… Dave. We were a little family, especially after your mom left.”

The mention of her mother and brother turned her stomach.

“If you want to apologize, bringing up my mother and dick of a brother isn’t the way to go.”

“Dave isn’t a bad guy. I know he did some shitty things, but babe, he’s your brother. He loves you.”

Y/N finally moved from where she was frozen in place and slowly walked into the living room. “You still talk to him?”

Nathan nodded. “I do. He misses you, asks about you. A lot.”

“Good. I hope that shit for brains realizes now that I will never talk to him again.”

“I still don’t understand why.”

“You don’t understand… Nathan, you were here for the bullshit they put me through after dad died. That bitch swooped in and took my entire inheritance! If not for Leo buying the bungalow from her, I would have been homeless. Then, to find out later that my so-called  _loving brother_ , HELPED HER?!” Y/N was shaking now. The act of dredging up these memories was not exactly how she wanted to spend Christmas morning; especially not after it started so well.

“Babe…” Nathan consoled and rose from the couch to come closer to comfort her.

“STOP CALLING ME BABE!”

Nathan froze in place and swallowed hard. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I just came here to try and apologize. For everything I’ve done. I was supposed to be the one person you could trust, who protected you. I’m sorry that I failed you.”

Much to her own surprise, Y/N didn’t cry. She wanted too, but she wouldn’t in front of Nathan. There had been enough tears shed for him over the course of twenty years. Her phone began to buzz from deep within her robe’s pocket. She tried to ignore it, but just before it stopped ringing, she pulled it out and saw Jensen’s name flashing on the screen.

Without hesitation, she answered the call. “Hey,” she greeted and hoped there wasn’t any residual tension in her tone. “Miss me already?”

Nathan’s head picked up, his gaze intense and curious. But he saw the warning look Y/N passed him and forced himself to stay quiet.

“If I did?” Jensen asked playfully. “No, I was calling to tell you that as soon as we hung up, Jared called me to say Merry Christmas and all that. I asked him about the party and his exact words were ‘whatever makes you happy, doesn’t matter so’s long as you’re there’. So there’s your dress code.”

Despite her current mood, she laughed. “Well, that doesn’t help at all.”

“Yeah, I know…” he hesitated for a beat, “are you alright? You don’t sound as chipper as you did twenty minutes ago.”

“Um, yeah. I’m fine,” she lied and tried to put herself together. “Just getting ready for the day, you know.”

“Sure? If you wanna talk, or—I can find a quiet spot and—”

“No, Jay, it’s fine. Really. I do gotta run though. Few things I need to wrap up,” she said and hoped he would take it as wrapping last minute gifts for the holiday.

“Ok.” She could tell instantly he didn’t believe her. “Well, you know where to find me if you change your mind. Talk soon?”

“Yeah, definitely. Enjoy your day and if you talk to Jared again, or Robbie, tell them I said Merry Christmas.”

“Will do, bye, Y/N.”

“Bye, Jay.”

She ended the call and kept the phone hovering near her mouth, almost as if she was trying to hide from Nathan.

“Who’s Jay?”

“Jensen. He’s my boss,” she answered then slipped the phone back into her robe.

“Jensen? Some name,” he sneered. “And he calls on Christmas morning? What a pretentious dick.”

“Fuck off, okay? You don’t know him.”

“I do though. He sounds like every rich, asshole Bennie that tears up our beach every summer. Comes down with his crap, his money and thinks he gets whatever he wants—”

“Nathan! You wanna apologize, make amends? Attacking my friend  _will not_  help accomplish that.”

“Your friend? I thought he was just your boss.” Realization dawned on him then, and she noticed his body stiffen. “You have a thing for him, don’t you?”

She didn’t expect that and stammered before she could find the words she wanted. “I—no, he’s been a good friend. It’s business. That’s all. Besides, you put me through enough. I couldn’t deal with anyone else after you.”

Nathan cast his eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I never intended for you to be hurt so badly. I never wanted for you to hate me.”

“Yeah, well. Your intentions don’t mean shit, Nathan. Look, I should hate you… but I don’t. God only knows why, but I don’t. You’re right, we did have some really great memories. Being friends since we were little kids and all the years we spent together as a couple; it’s not lost on me. Even though you left like a coward after you hit me—”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you… I needed the money and—” he stopped himself from going down that path. “It’s not an excuse. I should never have touched you, especially not at the club. Mama Mia nearly put me in the hospital that night.”

“You deserved it.”

He nodded and let her continue.

“Anyway, all that aside, I’m just in a place where I don’t want to be with anyone, Nathan.” Y/N paused and realized now she was not only lying to him, but to herself. “I appreciate your wanting to make amends. I’m glad the twelve-step thing is working for you, and that you’re here for your mom for Christmas.”

“But?”

“But, nothing. I am honestly glad for you and for your mom. She didn’t need to lose you.”

“What about us?” he asked hesitantly, bringing his bright blue eyes to meet hers. For the briefest moment, she could see what she used to see in them; kindness, compassion, and hope making him look more like the first boy she ever loved.

“Us?” Y/N laughed and sighed all in one breath. “Nathan there is no ‘us’. That ship sailed years ago. But I am glad that you’re getting your life back together.”

His phone pinged from down in his jeans pocket. “That’s probably my mom wondering when I’ll be back. She’s got breakfast waiting.”

“Then you should go.”

“Do you wanna come with? I’m sure she’d love to see you.”

“No, I promised Leo I would be there today.”

“When do you go back to… Austin is it?”

“Yes, Austin. In a few days. I have some work to do while I’m here…”

“So, in other words, you aren’t free on this trip to make any plans with me.”

Y/N nodded. “I’m sorry. Maybe another time.” She once again crossed her arms over her chest. It was a mannerism Nathan knew well; she was putting up her wall, and while he couldn’t blame her, he felt his hopes of any reconciliation being quickly dashed.

“Could I, maybe, call you from time to time?”

She exhaled slowly, expelling the breath through pursed lips. “Nathan…” pausing when she saw the seemingly honest, pleading look in his eyes. “Sure. But, if it becomes obsessive, or intrusive…”

He held up his hands in relent. “I promise, it won’t. I just…” he took a few tentative steps closer to her. As he approached, she took one step back and he stopped; afraid he was scaring her. “I just want to get to know you again. This you. I still love you, Y/N. I know you don’t love me, but at least give me the chance to prove to you that I’ve changed. That I can be the guy you used to love. Or at least the one you used to like.”

His phone pinged again.

“You should go, Nathan. Tell your mom I said Merry Christmas.”

Nathan nodded and went towards the door. “I’m not gonna ask you to wait, but maybe you don’t rule me out completely.”

“Rule you out of what?” she asked.

“Your future.” He lingered for a moment longer, then left and quietly closed the door behind him.   

The daylight hours of New Year’s Eve was packed with errands, including trying to find something appropriate to wear to Jared and Gen’s New Year’s Eve party. Jensen didn’t exactly help with his recon efforts; having the perimeters of “whatever makes you happy” to go by wasn’t much to go on. Finding nothing while in New Jersey, she frantically searched for any shop that was open in downtown Austin on her way home from the airport.

Finally, in the very last shop, she found the perfect one. The moment she laid her eyes on the turquoise colored dress with a lace overlay from the neck to the hem, she fell in love. It was a little fancier than she’d normally go for, but attending this party in one of the most beautiful Country Clubs in Austin seemed like the occasion to do so.

Once all the accessories had been chosen, Y/N rushed back to her townhouse to shower and get ready. As the hot water cascaded down through her hair, she closed her eyes and thought about the last few days back home. She had finally gotten to a place where her life didn’t feel so suffocated, where she could have reconciled her past while looking towards the future. Now she was uncertain if she would be able to ever really move on from Nathan, or if she would always be scared because of the marks he’d left on her heart.

For the next few days, she went on an emotional journey that she knew had to be done, but not one she expected just then. Nathan had been such a big part of her life since she was a kid; he’d been there through some of the worst times to comfort her and support her. It was also true that he was the root cause for a lot of bad times, and though he was the one that made the bad choices, got wrapped up in things he shouldn’t have… wasn’t there a part of him that was still the same boy that held her through the night her mother left, then her brother and again when her father died?

Y/N turned off the shower and wiped away the steam on the mirror. As she watched her reflection in the glass, Jensen’s face floated into her mind’s eye. His beautiful green eyes, full, round lips, the way that he smiled at her made her breath hitch and her skin tingle in ways that felt extraordinary. Mostly, it was how he made her feel calm and in control; like she could accomplish anything she wanted. Yet, whenever she allowed herself moments to daydream about him, and what it would be like to be with him, fear set in and she would pull away.

“You’re a fucking mess,” she accused at her reflection. “Seriously, get your shit together (Y/L/N). You have a gorgeous, generous, amazing man about to pick you up for a fancy party. You got a new dress, new shoes and a wonderful night ahead. Don’t self-sabotage before you even get in the car.”

She gave herself an affirmative nod, tightened the towel around her chest and moved away from the mirror to get finish getting ready. Halfway out of the bathroom she paused and went back to the mirror.

“Also, don’t let Nathan and his bullshit ruin a good night. He’s not here, he won’t be here. It’s just you, Jensen and a hundred of his closest friends. If anything is going to freak you out, it should be that.”

Y/N hung her head dramatically and sighed. No matter how hard she tried not to think about Nathan, he was just there now, living somewhere in the recesses of her mind and slowly inching his way back to the forefront.

Two hours later, when Y/N heard the knock at the first door, she looked over at the stove clock and realized it could only be Jensen. Seven on the dot… Mr. Punctuality. Y/N took a deep, calming breath, nerves quickly igniting as to how things may change if she opened that door. She froze with her hand on the knob.

_You should say you’re sick… jet lag? No, stupid, it’s only an hour time difference, jet lag wouldn’t–_

He knocked again. Stopping the freight train of doubt that ran on a constant loop, she exhaled slowly and opened the front door.

“Hey!” Jensen greeted upon seeing her. “You ready to…” he trailed off as he noticed how she looked and took a moment to drink her all in. Jensen was dumbfounded, as his eyes glazed over her from how her hair was twisted up off her neck, to the color of the dress and how it hugged her just right, flowing out to a skirt that fell a few inches above her knees. She was wearing heels, and as he admired how her legs looked while wearing them, he realized he’d never seen her in anything but her old sandals.

“Wow… You–you look amazing,” he breathed. “I–that’s not even the right word. You–”

His gaze softened the longer he looked at her; and the more he looked, the more she was becoming affected by his stare.

“Ok, ok. Easy tiger. It’s just a dress,” she laughed but was barely holding it together as she noticed how good he looked, as well. Jensen showed up dressed in a black sport coat and slacks, beneath it, a nicely fitting shirt that complimented his strong and lean figure. The color of which, just happened to be a shade off of matching her dress perfectly.

“Hey, we match!” she smiled, lighting up her whole face. “People are going to think we did that on purpose.”

“Fuck ‘em,” he said, the corners of his mouth pointing down. “Besides, no one in that whole place will even notice me once you walk into the room.”  He waggled his eyebrows and moved aside so she could walk out.

“You’re such a dork,” she teased and rolled her eyes. “Though, I gotta say,” she paused and spun back around for a minute to face him, “you do clean up pretty nice yourself, Hollywood.”

Heading towards the party venue, Y/N was quiet. She could feel Jensen continuing to steal glances in her direction. He had never been shy before about asking her something when it was on his mind, but now he hesitated. She finally caught his gaze and sighed.

“You want to ask me something, so ask,” she said, startling him with her accuracy.

“Alright… what happened on Christmas?”

 _Boy, he’s blunt_ , she thought. She furrowed her brow and tried to play it off like she didn’t know what he was talking about. “What do you mean?”

“C’mon Y/N. I talked to you and you were… you. Twenty minutes later I called back and you were completely different.” Jensen’s eyes flickered back and forth between her and the road. “Then, I don’t hear from you all week. Just seemed like maybe something was wrong.”

Y/N could just brush him off, she thought about it. She didn’t want to get into a big conversation about Nathan solely because it would lead back to their past and she didn’t want to go back to that headspace. She also didn’t think brushing him off was the best idea. Jensen was more than just a colleague now, he was her friend; a friend that she had come to care about very much.

She swallowed nervously, her tongue darting over her polished lips. “I had an unexpected visitor after I hung up with you. Just an old… someone, that I wasn’t expecting to see.”

“Oh,” he replied, his eyes now transfixed on the road ahead. “A recent, old, someone?” he asked, and thankfully she caught his meaning.

“Yes. Sort of. It’s been a few years.”

“Oh,” he said again, this time as more of a sigh of relief. “How did it go?”

“It went. He just wanted to catch up. He was in town visiting his mom and had run into Leo. I guess Leo told him about Austin, and he wanted to say congrats on the new gig.”

“Ah.” Jensen’s gaze drifted to catch her expression. Y/N appeared unaffected, but there was something in her eyes that told him that maybe wasn’t the whole truth. “Exes… huh?” he quipped and tried to get her to smile. “I got one, too.”

“An ex?”

“Yup.”

“Don’t we all?”

Jensen laughed. “I guess.”

“How recent is yours?”

“Last Spring. I got back from a con and came home to an empty house. She was just, gone.”

“Ouch,” Y/N winced, knowing the pain of that feeling. “Did you ever find out why?”

His reaction took her off guard. Jensen smirked, then it faded and his eyes seemed to drift a million miles away. She saw him force the lump in his throat down to a place where it wouldn’t stop him from choking on the words that he tried to say.

“She… uh,” he snorted a laugh, “she met someone else.”

“Oh,” she breathed, waited for a beat, then muttered. “She’s an idiot.”

Jensen’s lips formed a tiny little grin of satisfaction and gave Y/N the hint that he heard her after all.

“Well, I’m sorry your Christmas was ruined by an ex,” he said, turning the subject back to her.

“It wasn’t ruined,” she replied quietly and cast her gaze out of the passenger side window. Her hand went to her neck, to where the necklace had resided since she clasped it around there Christmas morning. “Got to open the best present I ever received while watching the sunrise over the ocean.” Turning her attention back to him, her features softened as she lifted the charm from her neck. “That’s what I’ll remember most from this Christmas.”

The Country Club was far larger than Y/N thought it would be. Even in the shadows of the evening, she could see how beautiful and expansive the grounds and golf courses were. It was lit up in soft whites and golds, and there was a buzz of activity in and around the entrance.

After the valet parked the car, Jensen linked his elbow with hers and escorted her inside. Her nerves were starting to show, barely, but they were there. She’d been to more than enough events like this for Leo’s business, and she’d played the boardwalk stage to a crow of a few hundred people. Somehow, this was more nerve-wracking, and Jensen could feel it radiating off her.

“Hey,” he whispered but kept his eyes focused ahead. “You know this is low-key, right?”

“You mean despite the fact that the party is in Wayne Manor? I swore that was Alfred who parked the car.”

Jensen laughed. “Yes, despite that. These are all just friends, wearing fancier than normal clothes.”

“Your friends. I know them through Skype or email.”

“They’re gonna love you. Alright? Robbie already does. He won’t shut the hell up about meeting you tonight.”

“Says you. I feel like I’m going on an audition and this is my call back for the role of Celebrity Assistant…”

“Hey,” Jensen interrupted and pulled her to a stop. “You know that’s not what you are, right? It’s important to  _me_  that you know that.” Using her own words against her made her relax a little. “You’re not my assistant. You work  _with_ me. And as for tonight, well darlin’, you are simply my date and easily the most stunning woman in the room.”

His features relaxed, the small bunches of wrinkles deepening around his eyes and the peek-a-boo dimples on the corners of his mouth showing themselves. “Relax, have a drink, dance a little and have a damn good time.”

“I thought we established that me dancing is hazardous to everyone’s health,” she joked, feeling her nerves dissipate a little.

“Hey, it’s New Year’s Eve. If you can’t do something new and out of your comfort zone on a night like tonight… then you never will. Besides, I am way worse at dancing than you. I’m more than happy to prove it. After a drink or two, that is.”

Y/N exhaled as steadily as she could and straightened her shoulders back and tightened her linked arm around Jensen’s. She was going to make the most of the night and go in with her head held high; ready to push herself well beyond her limits.

They breached the entryway and stepped into the main room where the Padalecki’s were hosting a jam-packed New Year’s Eve party. Faces were floating by at a rapid pace, some she recognized, some she didn’t. Names were thrown at her, and she smiled at each one, shaking hands with those who offered and returning polite smiles to those she didn’t. It was overwhelming and yet exhilarating, especially when Jensen was introducing her as the Music Director for FBBC’s Hometown Music & Brew Fest. For the first time in her life, she was being looked upon as someone respected; someone who was spending their time trying to make a difference; not slinging drinks, not pushing papers or hustling pool just to make ends meet. What made it even more special, was having him be the one who helped her find this place in the world.

“Well it’s about time!” a woman’s voice squealed over the music piping in through the generously spaced out speakers. As you both spun around, you saw a beautiful, petite woman with long dark brown hair and eyes the color of dark chocolate. “I was starting to think you were going to be late, Jensen. You’re  _never_  late!”

“C’ mon Gen, you know better than that,” he laughed and released her arm to embrace Gen and leave a kiss on her cheek. “Where’s the big jerk you married?”

“Oh, mingling, you know him. I’m sure he’s got half the place in hysterics already,” she laughed. When she turned her attention to Y/N, her eyes grew wide and she clapped in excitement. “You must be Y/N! It’s so good to meet you in person! This one doesn’t shut up about you or the festival. I think he may have imploded if you didn’t come on to help.”

“I’m just glad I could contribute something,” Y/N replied. ‘It’s nice to meet you, Gen.”

“Have you met everyone else yet?” she asked excitedly, taking Y/N’s arm much the way Jensen did and led her away into one of the rooms that jettisoned off the ballroom. “I think they’re all hiding away in here.”

She led Y/N in, with Jensen following closing behind. The room Gen lead them into was large enough to fit approximately twenty people comfortably, with a baby grand piano at the center. There were windows along the back wall that overlooked the deserted golf course, but the cream and deep beige draperies were pulled and hid the view from the party goers. In each corner, was a tall, potted decorative tree, with hanging white lights that cast an ambient glow over the room. Scattered throughout the room were overstuffed armchairs and a few leather love seats. A perfect place to sit and listen to someone play on the baby grand while enjoying the view of the grounds.

Y/N searched the handful of faces that were standing around the piano but none were too familiar. The moment Gen spoke, the man at the keys stopped playing. When he stood, Y/N smiled wide, instantly recognizing Robbie as he started walking over to them.

“Hey man!” Rob greeted Jensen excitedly. “Was getting worried about you! Thought you were gonna stand me up.”

“I could never do that to you, Rob. You know I love you too much,” Jensen teased, giving Rob a wink. “But, if I tell you Y/N is here to finally meet you, do you forgive me?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” he grinned and reached out for Y/N’s hand, bringing the back of it to his lips and giving it a barely-there-kiss. “It is a pleasure to finally see your face sans computer screen.”

“It really is,” she said, trying not to giggle at his overindulgent greeting.

Robbie kept her hand and began to move her away from Gen and Jensen. “Here, let me introduce you to the whole gang.”

Jensen just shook his head, his arms open wide and mouthing, “ _Really?_ ”

Ignoring him, Robbie pulled Y/N around the room and one by one introduced her to people from both the show and the regular con circuit. Y/N’s head spun as she met Jason Manns, Kim Rhodes, Richard Speight, Jr., and Mark Pellegrino among others. It took nearly twenty minutes to make the rounds and by the time Rob had brought Y/N full circle, Gen and Jensen were no longer alone. Jared had just joined the small group, drink in hand and a smile that was more forced than genuine.

Jared leaned closer to Jensen’s ear just as you sidled up next to him. “Hey, I need to talk to you,” he whispered.

Jensen furrowed his brow and snapped his gaze up to catch Jared’s eye. They had a silent exchange, one that could only happen between two people who knew each other explicitly well. When Jensen turned back to Y/N, she waved him off before he could even speak.

“Go, I’m fine. I have Rob to keep me company,” she said, not without a little spunk.

“Hands above the waist, Rob. Remember you’re with a lady, not one of your women of the night,” he warned and gave Y/N’s shoulder a little squeeze before he was whisked off by his best friend.

“I should go check on everything in the kitchen. Will you be alright?” she asked Y/N.

“What am I, chopped liver?” Rob interjected.

Gen shook her head and gave Y/N an apologetic smile. “Welcome to our weird, little family. Please don’t judge us solely on our Robbie.” She patted Rob’s arm lovingly before turning and heading back out through the ballroom.

“She’s one hell of a lady. Throws a damn good party, too. Come on, let’s mingle.” 

Jensen followed Jared down the long clubhouse corridor and down to the double doors that led into the game room. Once inside, Jared shut the door but didn’t bother with turning on the lights.

“What’s up?” Jensen asked. “I barely got in the door, didn’t even get a drink yet.”

“Here, have mine. You’re gonna need it.” Jared held out his glass of bourbon. “I tried to get a hold of you earlier–”

“Why?”

“Because man, Gen invited Dee. She’s coming, and she’s not coming alone.”

Jensen sighed heavily, his head rolled back on his neck and his mouth hung open. “Fuck. Really?”

“Mhm. I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I mean, I know they still talk and hang out, but, I didn’t think she was going to invite her.”

Jensen gulped down the rest of the bourbon from the glass, wincing at the burn as it hit his throat. He turned abruptly and headed through the game room to the small bar that was kept there. Rummaging through the bottles, he found a bottle of Jim Beam and refilled the glass.

“Is  _he_  here with her?”

Jared nodded. “I don’t know. I just know she’s coming.”

“Does Dee know I’m here?”

Jared shrugged. “Gen and I… we try not to talk about her with each other.”

Jensen considered this and shrugged, too. “I hate that what happened between me and her put you guys at odds.”

“It really didn’t, not until times like this.”

“You know what? It’s fine. Not like I’m here alone, right?”

“Right. About that… You’ll have to introduce me properly when we head back.”

“I will,” he said, and just knowing that Y/N was out there waiting for him, suddenly made the Dee situation seem somewhat tolerable.

“What was that?” Jared asked, looking at him curiously. “What did you just do with your face?”

Jensen scrunched his face in ignorance. “What… face?”

“That face! That face you make when you get all dreamy and shit.”

“Dreamy fa–” Jensen scoffed. He was getting flustered, so he drained his glass. “Shut up.”

“Ha!” Jared laughed and clapped Jensen’s shoulder. “So, you gonna be able to be cool with Dee?”

“As a cucumber,” he promised.

Jensen had disappeared with Jared, Gen had disappeared back into the crowd of people in the ballroom, and Rob had just disappeared. Somewhere in the middle of crossing the big room’s dance floor, Y/N had lost him and when she broke through the sea of people, she didn’t want to go back in. Meandering alone through the party, she felt suddenly out of place and all her earlier nerves settling back in for the long haul.

She wished Jensen would come back from wherever he disappeared too. But as the minutes ticked by, Y/N found herself back in the room with the baby grand. It was completely empty now that the music had stopped; for this, she was suddenly grateful. As she slowly walked along its side, she ever-so-lightly dragged her finger against the ebony lacquer of the lip then followed along the edge and down to the keys.

Y/N hadn’t seen or touched a piano of this caliber for a lot of years. Guitar had been her true love since she was five years old, the piano came later. When she was little, and her mother was still around, she would take her to the most luxurious of all Leo’s hotels up in the wealthy area of Spring Lake. These were the ones with professional piano players in the lobby and a bellhop that came when you rang. Y/N would sit for hours, watching that old man with the sandy blonde hair play the keys like a magician, and pulling some of the most glorious melodies she’d ever heard.

Her mother was a maid back then, cleaning and stealing from most of the rooms upstairs. Leo would find Y/N a lot of times left alone, sitting in the lobby and listening to the piano and felt sorry for her. On her seventh birthday, Leo bought her a small electronic keyboard to practice on. She took to it easily, and by the time she was ten, was recording tracks on the keyboard, they play along with them on guitar.

She exhaled softly as she slid onto the bench and smoothed out her skirt. Just as she hovered her fingers over the keys, and pressed the first few, she was no longer alone in the room.

“Found you! Took me damn long enough…”

Y/N’s head snapped up, to see a beautiful blonde woman, with long, wavy curls approaching her. Her big, dimpled smile lit up the room the second she entered, and Y/N couldn’t stop admiring her.

“I tried to wrangle Robbie before when he was parading you through the room, but that little man is too fast for me!” She sat down on the bench beside Y/N in an exasperated huff. “Woo! I’m beat and it isn’t even midnight yet! I’m Briana, by the way. Briana Buckmaster. You’re, Y/N, right? Working the music side of Brewfest? I’ve heard a lot about you from Robbie.”

“He’s one hell of a cheerleader,” Y/N said. Something was familiar about her, but she couldn’t put her finger on where. “Are you doing work for it as well? You just seem so familiar, but I can’t…” as she trailed off, it hit her why. “You have an album of covers out, right?”

Briana was taken aback, her sweet smile dimpling as it grew. “I do! You’ve heard it?”

“Hell yeah! Back in Jersey, I was a musical director for a burlesque group. Some of the girls were playing it for a routine. It was hot. Your voice is seriously magic.”

“Burlesque? How fucking cool are you? Did we just become best friends?” she roared with a throaty laugh and threw an arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “And here I was just coming over to ask you about Jensen. Had no idea I’d find a fan and a new friend in the mix!”

“You definitely have a fan in me, Briana.”

“Oh please, call me Bri, everyone does. This dress, gorgeous, by the way. And please tell me that Jensen matched you on purpose because I will both love him and tease him for eternity because of it!”

“No! It wasn’t on purpose. But I knew someone would think it was.”

“I guess you two are just on that wavelength, huh?” she wiggled her eyebrows and poked Y/N’s arm with her elbow. “I did see you guys when you walked in together.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm. So, you gotta tell me something,” she said and leaned in a little closer. “How good a kisser is he? Cause, I may be married, but I ain’t dead. And that boy is… mmm mmm!”

“I don’t–I haven’t… We’re not…” Y/N laughed nervously shook her head slightly, trying to shake the embarrassment off and form a complete sentence. “We’re just friends, we work together on the festival. That’s all.”

“Oh, I see,” Bri said and cleared her throat before turning back to Y/N. “You guys are in the denial stage! Ok, I get it.”

“What? No! It’s…” Y/N searched for the right word.  _Damn this woman is perceptive_ , she thought before finding the winner. “It’s complicated.” she sighed, surprising herself that she gave any kind of real answer.

Y/N was instantly comfortable with Briana. Her spirit and fiery personality felt familiar, and something she’d been lacking in her life since leaving New Jersey months before. She felt that she could say something like that to this virtual stranger because she felt like Bri wouldn’t be a stranger for much longer.

“Yeah well, complicated can work itself out,” she nudged her shoulder into Y/N playfully, then motioned down towards the keys. “You play?”

“I do,” she replied, relieved Bri moved the subject off of Jensen for the moment.

“What do you like to play?” she asked, but not in the way where one is curious. She asked because she looked like she was scheming.

“Just about anything really. Why?”

Bri slid out off the bench and walked around to stand in the curve of the piano. “You sing, too, right?”

“I do,” Y/N replied and started to play with the keys around middle C. Finding the melody of something soft but familiar. “Robbie tell you that?”

“Nope. Jensen did. Did he tell you that  _he_  sings as well?”

Y/N’s fingers froze and her breath caught in her chest. “No… he didn’t.”

Bri’s face light up as she leaned against the piano, letting her hands slide along the edges in each direction. “Oh, he does. And he sings, goooood.”

She forced her fingers to continue playing the song. As she played on, she didn’t realize the song that she’d been playing just then was the same one she had been strumming on the guitar the morning Jensen shared her sunrise.

 _‘Ooo-ooo-ooo honey, you’re the one that I want…’_  Y/N sang silently along to the melody in her head.

“I know this one… I did a stint as Rizzo at the Citadel Theater,” Bri squealed excitedly. “This was a fun one to perform.”

“Pink lady here,” Y/N laughed, and quickly changed up the melody, not wanting that one to get wedged in her head again. After she played it that morning, it stuck with her for days after. But instead of it making her think of the play, now it just reminded her of sitting on the floor with Jensen and talking through the night.

“But I wanted to play Rizzo,” Y/N continued. “She’s clearly the most relatable.”

“We really are kindred spirits! So, new friend…” she brought her arms back to center, and rested her elbows on the piano, cradling her chin in her palms. “Play me something.”

Y/N thought for a moment and began to pick up a melody. Bri’s eyes lit up as she recognized the beginning notes to “Do I Move You.” They exchanged a knowing glance; Y/N knowing this had been one of Bri’s covers, and Bri realizing that Y/N chose it for that reason.

Starting it acapella, Bri sang the first line,  _“_[ _Do I move you?_](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F6orewWBRvqltbA0rYW8w4G%3Fsi%3DA4H2gCpcSZmp8u6c3fYgEQ&t=Mzc4Yzc3MmVjNDljYjc0MzY1YmE0MmJhMTVlY2E0YTRjMDE0YmQyNixOZVcwTkdsaA%3D%3D&b=t%3AnhKxeIEmJIrTLZjcVkg3iQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcoffee-obsessed-writer.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F184317706982%2Fwhen-you-least-expect-it-part-five&m=0) _”_

Y/N played, finding the groove of the song. It wasn’t hard for her, all she needed was a place to start and she could slide right into it.

 _“Are you willing?_  
_“Do I groove you?_  
_Is it thrilling?_  
_Do I soothe you?_  
_Tell the truth now…_  
_Do I move you?_  
_Are you loose now?  
__The answer better be…”_  Bri drew out the last word, soft and sultry and looked to her accompaniment to finish the first verse with her.

 _“That pleases meeeee….”_ They sang together.

The song played on, just the two of them at the moment. The party noises were all but a second thought, as these two new friends found an easy rapport with each other through the music. With every few lines, Y/N increased the tempo of the melody, her fingers beginning to move across the keys with speed and accuracy. She was ensconced in playing and vibing with Bri, relishing in the rich grit and tenor of her voice. Both of them solely just going with the song and building it from an intimate conversation to an all-out war cry with the depth, and fullness of Bri’s bravado.

_“When I touch ya?_  
_Do you quiver?_  
_From your head right down to your liver_  
_If you like it, let me know it_  
_Don’t be psychic or you’ll blow it_  
_The answer better be….  
_ _Great God Almighty, that pleases meeeee….”_

Bri hit the last note in her full voice and a roar of applause ripped through the room. If Bri had seen the people funnel in, Y/N didn’t know; but she hadn’t. Getting so lost in playing freely, not worrying about anything more than feeling the song at that moment, she had no idea that the small music room had filled up with at least twenty different people. Among them, Jensen and Rob, whistling and clapping along with everyone else.

Jensen stood at the opposite end of the piano, holding Y/N’s gaze as the small crowd began rumblings of  _play more, something else, keep going_ … the way he watched her made her nervous, yet euphoric. Y/N could feel him beaming with pride, and while she didn’t play with him in mind, it made her feel good to know he got to see her play.

“Hot damn, girls!!” Rob shouted over the crowd. “I knew this was gonna be a good night! You’re amazing!” he ran over and planted a big kiss on Bri’s cheek, then Y/N’s. “I’ll be right back, don’t move!” He was excitable and bouncing all over the place, then finally disappeared back into the crowd.

Y/N took the chance to slide out from behind the piano. Bri grabbed her the minute she was upright and pulled her into a hug.

“That was fucking fantastic!” she squealed and gave Y/N a squeeze. “We have got to hang out and do that again sometime.”

“I am down for that anytime. Your voice… that rasp you have. I’d kill for that.”

“Don’t let her fool you Bri,” Jensen said, rejoining them. “This girl has got some soul when she sings.”

“Oh, I believe it,” she said, “I just can’t wait to hear it.”

“Another time, maybe? Come by my place here in Austin. We can sit around and gig all day if you like. I am happy to spend an afternoon like that.”

Jensen opened his mouth to say something, but Rob’s re-entrance into the room caused some commotion. The moment he walked in with two guitars in hand, the chatter grew again. Rob handed one of the guitars off to Jason and someone else had already slid behind the piano. Stopping at a handful of the guys, including Jensen, he whispered something quick in their ear and went back to stand near the piano.

“Be just a second,” he said as he placed a hand on each of Y/N’s shoulders as he slid around behind her through the people, giving her a gentle squeeze as he did.

The guitars started, piano joined in, and Y/N picked up the first few beats of The Band’s [“Up On Cripple Creek”](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F3snDfddPtvgJVOTpYprXoz%3Fsi%3DLCxXuPWgQZG-fzDiAQ2LQQ&t=YTQyZDFjYzQ4YjQ1MjY0YmFiYzBkYjJhMjE0NDY5MTM3MGU4OGUxOCxOZVcwTkdsaA%3D%3D&b=t%3AnhKxeIEmJIrTLZjcVkg3iQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcoffee-obsessed-writer.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F184317706982%2Fwhen-you-least-expect-it-part-five&m=0). Bri squeezed in close and tapped her arm.

“I love when they do this song,” she whispered. “Just wait, you’re gonna love it too.”

The moment Jensen’s voice filled the room, Y/N’s mouth fell open at the sound of it; completely in shock with what she was hearing. He sang the first verse, while his friends picked at the guitars and played along on the piano. Jensen kept up with them effortlessly, though his attention was fully on Y/N. From the first line, he locked eyes with her, keeping a grin at bay while he sang his verse. He had a soul and a tone to his voice that tickled the deepest part of her, arousing both the creative and the lustful sides of her. Y/N didn’t know what to expect when Bri told her Jensen could sing, but it certainly wasn’t that.

The song went on, but Jensen just continued to sing along with the chorus, letting each of the other guys take another verse. When it was over, the crowd once again strongly approved of the impromptu performance. Y/N subtly backed her way through the crowd and back out into the corridor to get some air, still reeling from how good Jensen could really since. She saw him shaking hands, making pleasantries and small talk as he made his way towards her.

When he broke through the barrier of people, his arms were outstretched low and he was smiling. “You’ve been holding out on me, Trix. You can play…”

Y/N snorted a laugh. “You can sing!”

Jensen shrugged, not just with his shoulders, but his entire face. “I guess we’ve both been holding out, huh?”

“Looks that way,” she loosely crossed her arms under her breasts and gave him a challenging look. “Feels like maybe we should rectify that.”

Jensen thought about it for a minute, then held out his hand for her to take. “Come on. Let’s get a drink.”

“Good God, yes please…” she sighed and took his hand without hesitation, happily following along beside him as he whisked her through the ballroom.

The next hour or so was spent drinking and eating with people coming and going from the table. Around the third whiskey sour, and multiple helpings of the barbeque pork potato cups, apple brie crostini and mini beef wellingtons, Y/N needed to stand and stretch, allowing the food to settle.

“You alright?” Jensen asked, standing up too, reaching for her elbow to hold her steady.

“Yeah, fine. Just head rush from the booze. Also, this dress wasn’t made for gorging oneself on whiskey and crostinis.”

“Lightweight,” he teased.

“Hey, I don’t live in a brewery, okay? It doesn’t take much to get me–”

“Drunk?”

“Unencumbered,” she corrected.

Jensen leaned closer. “Does this mean I could maybe convince you to dance with me now?” his voice was low and raspy as if it had been denied water for days.

“Let me venture to the ladies’ room first. It is getting close to midnight after all. Then when I get back, we’ll see…” she narrowed her eyes at him.

When he narrowed his eyes back at her, mimicking her expression, she felt her breath begin to get shaky. “Hurry back. Or I’ll tell them to play the Macarena.” Jensen began to do the dance, but subtly, just enough to tease her with.

“Don’t think for a second I wouldn’t whip out my phone and record you doing it,” she warned. “It would be a nice addition to my video collection.”

He stopped cold and stood still. “So, that’s a no, on the Macarena?”

Y/N patted his cheek lightly and let it linger against his stubble for a moment. “Good boy. I’ll be right back.”

She turned to go, and just before she was out of earshot, he called out. “Don’t take too long, or it will be the Chicken Dance!”

Y/N didn’t turn, she just shook her head and kept walking. She didn’t want him to see how much he made her smile.

Just after drying her hands in the ladies room, Y/N was about to leave and bumped into Bri as she was coming in.

“Oh, hello new friend!”

“Hi Bri, having fun?”

“Yes! I love being with this group. You and Jensen should come over to where Kim and I are sitting. She’s a fucking blast, I think you two would get along fantastically. Just give me a sec, I’ll walk back out with you.”

Bri was quick and within minutes she and Y/N were heading back out towards the ballroom. The music was still playing and people were still dancing and having a blast. The music room was still full of passersby, and a different mix of faces at the piano and playing the guitars and singing. Y/N scanned the area where she had left Jensen, but it was now vacant. She tried to search the rest of the room for him, but there was no sign of him.

“Oh shit,” Bri mumbled, then pulled on Y/N’s lace sleeve. “Looks like you might need to go save your boy, there.”

“What?” she asked, her head whipping around to where Bri was motioning. Just past the bar, she found Jensen, talking animatedly to a petite redhead in a shimmery dark green dress. She was also being over-animated in talking back to Jensen. “Who is that?” she asked, but deep down she already knew.

“That’s Dee. Jensen’s ex-girlfriend. I knew they broke up last year, didn’t realize they still talked.”

Y/N’s stomach dropped and she remembered their very quick conversation about her in the car. “I didn’t either.”

Bri and Y/N watched from a distance until Jensen laughed at something she said. It wasn’t a genuine laugh by any stretch. Glancing pensively at Bri, Y/N bit on her lower lip. She didn’t know if this was a case for her to interfere or simply let the man work out his own business. The longer she watched and saw his body language change to stiffen and defensive, she knew she couldn’t be complacent.

“Maybe I should…” she trailed off and looked to Bri for some kind of sign.

“You probably should.”

Y/N gave her a small, appreciative smile and nod before she began to approach Jensen and his ex. The closer she got, the more of their conversation she could hear, and when she finally was standing beside him, they’d already found an argumentative pit and had fallen in knee deep.

“Well, well. Good to see you still make bad decisions,” Jensen scoffed at Dee, his voice slightly louder and more accusatory as it needed to be.

“Just stop, Jensen,” Dee pleaded. “It’s enough, alright?”

“You knew I was gonna be here. You had to know that. He had to come with you, right?”

“We’re together, Jay. I’m not going to hide that.”

“I wish I could… hide it… from my face,” he muttered.

“Not like you’re here alone,” she retorted and motioned to Y/N.

Jensen finally saw her standing there, and moved closer to her, exchanging his scowl for a grin. “Hey, you’re back.”

“I am. So, whatcha say we go get some air? Uh, Hollywood? I think some fresh air will do you good.”

“I’m good, Y/N. I swear. I got a few things I wanna say–”

“Nope, no, not gonna happen. Say, Happy New Year and let’s go,” she encouraged and tried to pull him away.

“You know who that is, don’t you?” he asked, in what he thought was a whisper, but everyone could hear.

“Yes, I know who it is,” she replied and looked up at Dee with a wan smile in greeting. “Hi, it’s nice to unofficially meet you.”

“Hi,” Dee replied with an apologetic smile.

“Then you know she’s a bit–”

“Don’t,” you warned, cutting him off. “I don’t care who it is, it is not like you to talk to anyone like that.”

“But—"

“Doesn’t matter Jay, you don’t. You’re better than that,” she said, her eyes pleading with him to just follow her out.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this,” Dee started. “I didn’t mean to upset anyone. He just can’t let this all go.” Her tone was genuine but her words were enough to make Y/N turn around and glare at her.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I just mean that–”

“Maybe, if you hadn’t treated him like a piece of shit, he wouldn’t be this way. Maybe, if you had the balls to have had a conversation with the man instead of just walking out, he wouldn’t want to call you a bitch. So, if I were you, lady, I’d scoop up the boy toy over there and move along.”

Dee’s mouth was agape, but then it seemed as if she may fire back some offhand comment or quip. Instead, she turned, linked her elbow with her man’s and walked off to the other side of the room.

She could feel Jensen’s lips by her ear before she actually heard his words. “You’re my hero,” he rasped.

The feeling of his hand on her shoulder only fueled the adrenaline that was coursing through her. The incident didn’t sober her up, but it definitely put a mild damper on the good feeling she had before.

Y/N went up to the bar and asked for two shots of bourbon.

“You wanna talk about what just happened there?” she asked Jensen and watched as he leaned both elbows on the bar, and rubbed his hands over his stubbled cheeks.

Jensen shook his head and finally looked her in the eye. “Nope. Not right now.”

The bartender lined up the shots, and Y/N passed one to him. Without a word they touched glasses and threw them back down their throats. Once the burn wore off, Jensen’s smile returned.

“One more?” he asked.

“You may have to carry me out of here if we do,” she chuckled.

“That would be my pleasure.” Jensen motioned for one more round.

From the corner of her eye, Y/N could see Dee and her companion off on the other side of the room, but continuing to look over in their direction. She didn’t want to spend the rest of the night exchanging accusing glances from across the room.

“Hey, you wanna take a walk? Get out of here for a minute?” she asked Jensen, just as the bartender refilled the shots.

“More than anything,” he said and tossed it back, Y/N doing the same.

Y/N was the one to take his hand this time and led him away from the ballroom.

It was mere minutes to midnight by the time Y/N had pulled Jensen away from the party. He was clearly more than a little buzzed when they stumbled into the elaborate game room and Y/N quietly closed the door behind them, so as not to draw attention to their departure.

She found the light switches on the wall, and turned on a few, illuminating the four corners of the club’s game room. The soft glow of the neon-lighted beer signs gave the space a warm, rich burst of color. In the middle, was a large pool table, made of dark mahogany wood and blue felt. The pockets were made of netted silk twine and gold inlaid etchings around the bumpers. On the far side of the room was a string of videos games with lifeless screens, and foosball table half draped with a soft leather cover.

More pool tables followed that, along with a collection of high top tables and chairs, a small bar that was fully stocked and four dart boards along the wall. One of which was open with all the darts still stuck in the corkboard target.

“Wanna play?” he asked, unbuttoning his jacket and shrugging it off before laying it on the pool table. He walked over to the board and removed the darts before she could answer.

“I gotta tell you, I am no good at darts. So, you best steer clear when it’s my throw,” she warned.

“I can teach you.” His smirk wasn’t even trying to be subtle as he approached her, four darts with red tails in his outstretched hand. “I’ve played a time or two.”

“Oh, I imagine you have. Something tells me you’ve done  _everything_ a time or two.”

Jensen stood next to her, leaning against the one pool table where the billiard lamp’s soft lights lit up the midnight blue felt. He rolled his neck to the side where she was and leaned down close enough that she could smell the hint of bourbon on his breath. Normally it wouldn’t be enticing, but on Jensen and in her own partially inebriated state, she let her mind wonder how it would taste off his tongue.

“Not everything,” he rasped, then gave her a wink.

_Three minutes to midnight…_

Pushing off the mahogany, he took a proper throwing stance and explained how to plant her legs. Y/N chuckled as he swayed a little before launching the dart at the board, striking the edge of it instead of the middle.

“That’s just a warm-up,” he scoffed, waving it off. “Let’s try that again.” He glanced over his shoulder to see her expression before launching a second dart.

Normally this is when she would look away. The more time they spent together, the more she found herself avoiding making eye contact in situations like this. She knew that one day she wouldn’t be able to look away, and unless she’d been reading the signals wrong for the entire span of their partnership, it would end up turning into something else. As much as she may want that, she didn’t know if she was ready for it.

“Ok Trix, your turn,” he said and took her hand, pulling Y/N off the edge of the table and positioning her to face the dart board. He made sure she was holding the dart correctly. “Pinch it here between these two fingers…” he configured her pointer finger and thumb on the dart. Gliding his hands down the length of her arm, she could feel him on her skin through the lace of her sleeve. When he paused at her elbow to bend it back at the right angle, his other hand gingerly touched the outside of her left leg. “Move your leg back, just a little,” he instructed, and as she did, he left his hand there, and despite the fabric of her dress between them, the heat of his hand felt warm and inviting.

Hyper aware of all the sensations her body was experiencing, she could feel herself simply melt back into him. The day’s earlier concerns weren’t gone but being wrapped up in the night as it had gone so far, Y/N pushed it all away to enjoy these quiet, close moments with Jensen. She needed it, and she suspected he did, too.

“Now, pull back your arm,” he continued, “almost like a slingshot. Okay? Then eye up on the board where you wanna aim for.”

She did as he said, closing one eye and targeted the bullseye. “Okay,” she said, biting down on her bottom lip in concentration.

_One minute to midnight_

The partygoers out in the rest of the clubhouse began to get louder with their anticipation of the stroke of midnight building. Y/N tried to block them out and launched the dart at the board. It wasn’t lost on her that Jensen’s hand was still hovering over her leg, and the other was now resting against her back where the dress she chose was bare of fabric.

The dart hit just off center, and she jumped up, arms raised in the air in triumph.

“Yes!” Jensen cheered and clapped as she danced around victoriously. “See that!”

“Well, the things you can do with a good teacher,” she shrugged.

From beyond the game room doors, they could hear everyone start counting down.

_20…_

_19…_

“It’s not too late to go join them,” she said and motioned towards the door.

_17…_

_16…_

“Here’s good,” he replied, the smile fading from his lips. He took a few steps towards her, and when he reached out for her hand, she gave it willingly.

_14…_

_13…_

_12…_

“Here’s very good,” she breathed.

Their eyes were locked, as the countdown continued from the other room. Y/N felt what he wanted from her, and despite any of the worries she had, she wanted him; denying that any longer would just be self-inflicted torture. But still… it could hurt.

_10…_

_9…_

_8.._

They were counting it down together. As the numbers dwindled down towards one, Jensen cupped her cheek and let his fingers slide down her jawline and onto her neck. Ever-so-lightly, she could feel his fingertips brush against her hairline at the nape of her neck, sending waves of electricity to course down every vein.

_5…_

_4.._

“Happy New Year, Y/N,” he rasped.

“Happy New Year, Jensen.” Her voice was shaking in anticipation of…

_2.._

_1._

His mouth drifted the last couple inches to hers. By the time the rest of the party goers were hootin’ and hollerin’, shooting off poppers and kissing everyone around them, his lips touched against hers for the first time.

Everything faded; the party sounds, the soft hum of the circulating air in the game room, the fireworks going off in random places throughout the city… all either of them could sense was the other. Jensen’s fingers began to press into her neck, encouraging her closer, as her lips opened to accept more of him. A soft moan escaped her, as he walked her back up against the pool table. More than just a New Year’s tradition, this was months in the making and neither of them wanted to pull away.

Jensen’s lips were as soft and luscious as she dreamed they would be. She relished in how they formed against her own, how easily she moved along with them, and how well she fit when pressed against his body. His hand stayed gripped on her neck, while his other ran roughly down the length of her body; coming to rest just about where it had when they were throwing darts. Now, inch by inch he began to lift up the fabric of the skirt, bunching it in his hand until her flesh was exposed to the heat of his hand and the coolness of the air.

Lips parted, and the sensation of his tongue on hers was dangerous. Her head was fuzzy from the alcohol and his touch. Little gasps and moans came from both of them, as the kiss continued to deepen, finding more fuel the longer his hand pawed at her thigh.

His teeth grazed her lip and it was enough of a rush for her to break free of him and slowly roll back at the heat of his touch. Jensen didn’t waste a second and sunk his teeth into her neck while she wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders, dragging her nails against his skin. He nipped at her and trailed his tongue lightly up towards her ear, then peppering wet, lingering kisses back down towards her collarbone. Waves of goosebumps rippled beneath the lace of her dress and brought on a flush of heat between her legs.

Y/N mewed deeply, which pulled a soft growl from deep within his chest. His fingers continued to creep up her leg as the fabric now fell down around his hand, covering it. He reached the edging of the lingerie she wore beneath it, he brought his fingers to follow the hem around back to the swell of her ass, cupping it gently. Y/N felt him there and slowly raised her head back up, making him do the same.

“Jensen…” she whispered; unsure herself whether it was a plea to stop or to keep going.

Jensen closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers, desperately wanting to kiss her again, but not here. He wanted to be home, his or hers, with no onlookers or distractions. He wanted more… he wanted all of her…

He was about to go in for more when the doors opened behind him, the sound of which made them jump apart like two teenagers getting caught in the dark. She had a moment–it couldn’t have been more than that, though it felt like an eternity–where a very clear voice screamed in her head to run. This was wrong, she was drunk, he was drunk, they were in a public place, and she had no business starting something up with him.

The flood of anxiety-riddled doubts crashed into her and physically caused her to step back from him. She didn’t have time to register the hurt and confusion on his face before Y/N was turning and bolting for the door. Little hot pinpricks of tears stung at the corners of her eyes and by the time she reached the door and saw that it was Bri standing there, she could barely see anything at all.

“What happened?” Bri asked, her brow furrowed in concern when she saw how upset Y/N was. She looked across the room to where Jensen stood, still staring in confusion.

“Nothing… I just… can you please take me home?” Y/N’s voice was small, and her entire demeanor was far different than it had been ten minutes earlier.

“Uh, I–” Bri paused and looked back to Jensen again, who just shrugged. He started walking towards them and Bri just held up her hand to tell him to stop. She gently shook her head, silently asking him to give Y/N space. He stopped but Briana could see he wanted to go to Y/N. “Sure, honey. Let me just get my stuff.”

Bri wrapped an arm around Y/N’s shoulders and left the game room, and left Jensen standing there alone in it. As she walked with her new friend down the corridor, Y/N was aware that running out like that wasn’t the best plan; but she needed to get out. What happened with Jensen wasn’t anything like she expected it to be. It was far more intense and meaningful than she thought it could be. The way he touched her, kissed her… It was a game changer.

“Leaving so soon?” Gen asked as they passed her near the coat check.

Y/N tried to reply, but she was still trying to process what almost happened.

“She’s not feeling good,” Bri covered easily. “And I think stud muffin in there has had one too many to try and drive home. Would you and Jared take care of him? I got this one.”

“Of course! I’ll let him know you got Y/N home,” Gen said with a sad smile. “Hope you feel better!”

“Thanks,” Y/N replied quietly. “It was an amazing party, thank you for inviting me.”

Once the pleasantries were passed, Bri quickly shuffled Y/N to the valet stand and handed him the ticket. While they were waiting for her car to come around, she put an arm around Y/N’s shoulder.

“So, did it just get a whole lot more complicated?” she asked.

Y/N rested her head on Bri’s shoulder and sighed. “That, is the understatement of the New Year, my new friend.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fall out from New Year’s Eve isn’t exactly what Y/N had hoped for but after some counsel from a friend, she makes a rash decision that could either be the answer to her prayers or be the beginning of her nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a slow burn fic that I have been working on for a while. Its a story I wrote for myself and just wanted to share with everyone. Yes, the “Dee” in the story is who you think, but there is no intended hate on her or their actual marriage. It is a work of fiction, that is all. Part five is from BOTH POVs. There is also a playlist to go along with the series. Series Playlist: “When You Least Expect It” (Spotify).

Y/N barely remembered the ride home. She remembers Bri parking and walking her to the door, but the ride itself was a blur. She was sad and confused, but mostly angry with herself for running out on Jensen. She just kept thinking if they hadn’t stopped, if she would have just not been a hot mess for a second, she could have stayed, then he would be the one bringing her home.

“Come on, you go up and change, and I’ll make some tea.”

“Hm?” Y/N asked as Bri’s voice pulled her back from the dark winding alley of  _what if’s_.

“Tea?”

“Oh, yeah. Help yourself. I have a bunch of different kinds in the cabinet,” she replied, vaguely pointing towards the kitchen.

“Ok,” Bri said, and guided her towards the stairs. “Go up and get comfy. If you got a pair of sweats I could borrow, I’d love ya forever. This dress is cute and all, but I believe the rest of the evening calls for comfort.”

“Bri, you don’t have to stay. I feel bad making you leave the party. I’m sure things were just getting started.”

Bri waved her off. “It’s fine. I’d much rather be on that couch over there talking to you with something warm and soothing than getting drunk and dealing with handsy men.”

“I thought you were married,” Y/N chuckled as she climbed the first two stairs.

“Who do you think I was talking about?”

Y/N laughed and kept climbing. “I’ll bring you down something.”

“Bless you!” Bri called after her before she disappeared to the second floor.

Y/N walked into the bedroom, her luggage still packed from her trip home; the clothes she wore on the plane still in a heap on the floor at the foot of the bed. The bags her dress and accessories had come in were in a crumpled pile in the middle of her comforter. Slowly, she unzipped the dress and laid on the chair in the corner of the room. One by one she removed all her jewelry, except the necklace Jensen had given her. For the second time that day she stared at her reflection and was disgusted with what she saw looking back.

“What the fuck is wrong with you,” she asked herself softly. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see her face any longer, or the tear-streaked mascara that currently painted her cheeks. She concentrated on clothing, then found an extra pair of sweats and a T-shirt for Bri. The thought of the woman downstairs currently making tea made her feel a little better, and knowing she wouldn’t have to manage this night alone, helped to calm her nerves just a smidge.

When she returned back to the kitchen there were two mugs on the island, with tea bags ready for steeping. Y/N handed Bri the clothes and when she left to change, Y/N continued fixing the tea. She tried to just focus on that for the moment, and not the line of questions her brain wanted to throw at her. Y/N knew she’d be answering those exact questions from Bri any minute now, so why bother going through it twice?

“So much better, thank you,” Bri moaned as she came back into the kitchen. “This is a great place you got here.”

“Isn’t it? I told him it was too much house for me, but…”

“He insisted.”

“He did.”

“Of course, because that’s Jensen.”

“I know,” she sighed and stopped what she was doing to rest her hands on the edge of the counter, her head falling down to hang between her arms.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Bri said and was at her side with a hand gently laid on her back.

“You didn’t Bri. I’m just so mad at myself right now. You’re absolutely right. That’s just… Jensen. Generous and overly kind. He is one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met.”

“Agreed. So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the problem? I know I was sort of teasing you about it earlier, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I saw you two walk in. Anyone that looked at the two of you and thought you were just friends would be crazy to think that.”

“Or in denial,” she added, making Bri laugh.

“Or that.”

Y/N pushed off the counter and grabbed her mug. Bri followed suit as they transitioned to the living room and sat on opposite ends of the couch. Y/N sipped at her tea, and while it offered the calming comfort she needed, she still regretted that it wasn’t another shot of bourbon with Jensen at the bar.

“Seriously though,” Bri said after placing her tea on the end table. “What happened? I know we’re new friends, and I don’t want to be intrusive, but when you run out of a room like that, leaving a man that fine standing there with his heart in his hands… there’s gotta be a reason.”

Y/N was quiet. She could feel Bri’s eyes on her but kept hers cast down into the cup as if she was trying to read tea leaves.

When she did finally answer, her voice was raspy and small. “There’s a reason.”

“Do you want to–”

Y/N nodded. “It’s not a question of whether I  _want_  to talk about it or not, I think I  _need_  to. Especially to him… but where do I start?”

Bri considered this and shrugged. “The beginning?”

“Might as well,” she sighed. “But that level of… truth. That amount of vulnerability, how do I know I’m trusting the right person with it? How do  _I_  know that Jensen wouldn’t use it again me, or judge me, or–”

“Because that’s not Jensen. Honey, look…” Bri slid along the couch to get closer to her and rested a comforting hand on her knee. “We all have a past. We all have trauma and baggage… exes…”

Y/N’s head snapped up at this, confirming Bri’s already established suspicions on the reasoning for her quick departure.

Her voice was still barely above a whisper. “I know.”

“But,” Bri continued, “at some point, you have to realize that all that crap you carry along with you, is only going to weigh you down. It won’t let you actually rise up to experience better things. And, as far as knowing who you can trust, I think you already know he’s different. I  _think_  that if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

“You’re right… he is different. I know that. I’m just a fucking coward who doesn’t know what to do.”

“You’ll figure it out. I know it’s not always as simple as follow your heart. Especially not when that heart has been pulled out, torn to shreds and glued back together with Elmer’s as I suspect yours has. So, before you make up your mind in any way, you need to figure out what’s most important. For you.”

Y/N sipped at her tea and was grateful for Bri’s sudden appearance in her life. There were a lot of things she was unsure about, and the way that Bri could offer counsel without judgment or telling her what to do was not only greatly appreciated, but much needed.  

“I will say one thing though,” Bri continued, and when she sat up straighter on the couch, Y/N worried for a moment that she was wrong and the barrage of judgment would begin. “I may not be as close to Jensen as say, Jared and Robbie, but I’ve gotten to know him well over the last couple years. That man is as genuine as they come. There’s not an ounce of pretension or malice in him. He’s been through it, too.”

“Dee?” she asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, and others. I can see he likes you;  _everybody_  can see that he likes you. All I’m saying is, if he likes you, he means it. I doubt he would go above and beyond for just anyone. He’s had his walls up, too. So maybe, instead of second guessing yourselves, you both need to start taking those sledgehammers and do some work, hmm?”

Y/N knew Bri was right, she had a lot of work to do. The most important of which was to call Jensen and apologize. The problem with that was she wasn’t sure what else to say, other than she was sorry for leaving him the way she did. The same fears and concerns were still there, festering due to years and years of insecurity, distrust, and mistreatment. Her disappearing act was due more to herself than to Jensen, and he needed to know that; if he would even still talk to her.

“I should call him,” she said, more to herself, but Bri nodded along with her.

“Yes, you should.”

From the kitchen, the sound of Y/N’s cell phone ringing made them both sit up straighter and start laughing.

“Well, if that’s not perfect timing…” Bri giggled excitedly. “I bet it’s him calling to check on you!”

The thought made Y/N’s stomach both drop and flutter with excitement. She put her tea down and slowly walked into the kitchen, almost afraid to pick it up out of her purse and answer it. By the time her fingers were able to retrieve it from the bottom of her bag, it had stopped ringing. She brought it with her into the living room and once she was back on the couch, she felt brave enough to swipe up and see who it had been.

_One Missed Call_

_One Missed Text_

Y/N saw it wasn’t Jensen that had tried to reach her, but Nathan. If there was a word for the feeling of both being disappointed and relieved at the same time, she didn’t know what it was, but that’s exactly how she felt. She wouldn’t return the call, but she did read the text after she made sure her read receipts were turned off.

>> _Sorry I called so late. I know you were at your work thing, just wanted to say Happy New Year. I hope this is the year we can find our way back to being friends again. Call me soon, ok?_

“From Jensen?” Bri asked eagerly. “What did he say?”

“Not Jay, Nathan.”

“Nathan?”

“The ex.”

“Oohhh,” Bri said, elongating her response and leaned back into her corner of the couch. “So, the complication has a name.”

Y/N looked up at her and wasn’t sure how to answer. The longer she just looked at Bri and didn’t speak, the more she just wanted to cry. In the years since Nathan had left, many tears were spilled and at some point, she’d had enough. A switch was flipped in her, and she went from one extreme to another; having gone two years without one of her sobbing, snotting breakdowns. Now there was one lurking, she could feel it bubbling up from the depths of her heart; the parts she’d closed off to just about everyone. Sitting with a stranger, in a strange city wasn’t the best time for it, despite the fact that Bri was starting to feel like an old friend.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “He, uh… he just recently came back into my life and…” she didn’t know how to finish it because she thought her feelings about him had resolved. Clearly, she had been wrong. Nathan had been terrible to her in the last year they were together, but before that… there had been decades of good times. Could she really just walk away from all that? Nathan was one of the reasons that made her walk away from Jensen, she knew that. Now, Y/N needed to understand  _why_  Nathan was on her mind at all.

It wasn’t hard to sense that Y/N was going to open the flood gates, but Bri could also tell that it was hard for her to trust that she’d be safe enough too. Y/N’s eyes were brimming with tears and the way her bottom lip was quivering just trying to hold it in, broke Bri’s heart. She swung her legs to the floor and motioned for Y/N to come and sit closer beside her.

“Come on… you gotta let it out, honey.” Bri rested her arm along the back of the couch and watched as Y/N slowly moved along the couch and curled up in the crook of her arm. “Just let it go. And when it’s all out, we can talk about it, or not. But you can’t deal with anything until you just let it go.”

That’s just what she did. And when she was done, having soaked through part of her new friend’s shirt, Y/N fell asleep with a new understanding of what it means to truly be vulnerable.

The pain in Jensen’s head woke him before the afternoon sun did. There was no use in trying to remember how much he drank, just that it was somewhere in the vicinity of a bottle of bourbon and maybe a couple tequila shots for good measure. When he was finally able to command his body to move, he pushed himself up on his elbows and waited for the thumping in his brain to stop. Of course, it didn’t.

“Motherfucker…” he groaned, finally able to sit up a little more. Within minutes, he was fully sitting, knees pulled up and his arms around the loose sheet covering him. His chest was bare, and he could feel the linen against his thighs, telling him that he was sans pants, as well. Trying to remember how he ended up Jared’s guest room, he rested his forehead against his knee and left it there. He knew he had to keep moving towards getting up, dehydration was imminent, yet as much as he demanded his body to function it refused to listen.

A soft knock at the door was what finally got him to lift his head.

 _Thump, Thump, Thump_ …

“Yeah,” he called out, though his throat was too dry to give it any oomph. “Yeah!” he tried again, this time seeing the door crack open as he winced at the burn it caused.

“You decent?” Jared asked and paused before coming in any further.

“Am I ever?” he quipped and groaned again when Jared came all the way into the room.

“Nope. Here, I thought you could use this.” Jared offered a bottle of water which Jensen took gratefully. “You hit the bottle pretty hard last night, man. Surprised you’re upright, to be honest.”

“I am? Cause in my mind I’m still laying down and passed the fuck out…” He twisted off the cap and sipped at it slowly. He’d learned his lesson a long time ago about the benefits of slowly hydrating.

Jared waited for him finish his drink and rest back against the headboard. “So, wanna share as to why I found you in the game room with an empty bottle of Jim Beam?”

“Nope,” he said again and went back to the water.

“Alright, at least tell me if it has anything to do with why you were alone and not with Y/N?”

Jensen’s eyes looked up quickly, the movement of which made black spots appear behind them. He blinked them away and brought his fingers to his forehead. “Can you give me like ten minutes to just remember where I am before you start the Spanish Inquisition?”

Jared sighed heavily and knew that his friend was simply stalling. “Dude…”

“Fine. Yes, it has to do with her, alright?” Jensen replied sharply.

“What happened?”

“I just said I didn’t walk to talk about it.”

“If I were anyone else, you could get away with that. But I know you. If you don’t talk about it now, you’ll bury it and all that bullshit. Then it festers and you act like an ass. So, talk.”

Jensen picked his head up and glared at Jared. Of course, he wanted to bury it; he felt humiliated and angry. He didn’t want to admit to what happened, not because Jared would judge him, but because he didn’t want to acknowledge his own mistakes.

“Y/N and I kissed at midnight,” he said flatly.

“Ok, and?”

“It quickly got… heated.”

“Oh,” Jared breathed and sat on the edge of his guest room bed. “I see. And then?”

Jensen shrugged his entire face. “Briana walked in. Y/N got… I don’t know, spooked? Then she ran out. Last thing I remember is Gen popping in to say that Bri was going to take her home.”

Jared leaned towards Jensen and inhaled, scrunching his nose at the smell of liquor still oozing from his pores. “Then you hung out with Jim and… José, apparently.”

“I guess, yeah.”

Jared mulled everything over in his head, but couldn’t quite grasp it. “I have so many questions…” he said with a snort, but when he looked back at Jensen’s expression, his smile faded. “Are you alright?”

The question hit Jensen harder than he expected. Was he? No. Clearly not, if he proceeded to drink as much as he did after she left.

“Honestly, I don’t know what I am right now except hungover.”

“Did you try to call her? Text? Anything?”

“No. I didn’t know what to say.”

“How about,  _what the fuck_?”

Jensen snorted a laugh. “That may not have gone over well.”

“Jay, she ran out on you for no reason–”

“I’m sure she had a reason,” Jensen interjected.

“I like Y/N, but, maybe trying to hook up with her now may not be the best idea,” Jared said carefully. He wanted to help his friend, but he also wouldn’t enable him to make stupid choices on a whim.

“It wasn’t planned, Jar. It was a New Year’s kiss. That’s all.” He was lying and he knew it. That was anything but just a New Year’s kiss. If Briana hadn’t walked in, he’s fairly certain the night would have taken a much different turn. Not that he blamed Bri, there was that pause right before she walked in where Y/N spoke his name…

 _‘The way she said it, Jesus Christ…’_  he thought as he rolled his head back again and closed his eyes. Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and prayed for the pounding in his brain to stop. He just needed five minutes of quiet to think, but his relentless thoughts both of the pain, and how she felt pressed against him, wouldn’t be denied.

“That’s all?” Jared laughed sarcastically. “Ok, you keep telling yourself that, champ.”

“Bite me.”

“I’m not trying to be an asshole, I swear. But you’re my best friend and I’ve seen you go through a lot of bullshit because of a woman. I just don’t want to see it happen again, especially with some girl you barely know just because you’re lonely.”

“I’m not lonely,” Jensen bit back defensively, even though he was once again lying to Jared and himself. He could tell that Jared didn’t buy it anyway. “At least not like…  _all_  the time.”

“You work like a dog, travel constantly, go from one empty apartment to another. The only time you aren’t alone is when you’re working on set. That’s partly why you started this whole project, right? To not feel lonely after Dee left? But then I had other shit to do, so did Robbie and Jason…and it left you alone, all over again. Until you met Y/N.”

“So?”  he shrugged. He was starting to feel frustrated but didn’t want to take it out on Jared because his intentions were pure, even if they were annoying the shit out of him.

“ _So_? Come on, man. Don’t be an ass. She’s gorgeous, she’s talented, she’s creative, smart and she’s just as wrapped up in the Brewfest as you are. How could you not want to take it further? Besides, be honest… how long has it been?”

“Since?”

Jared rolled his eyes and gave him the ‘ _give me a fucking break’_ , look. “You’re gonna make me say it? How long since you got laid?”

“Seriously?”

Jared nodded. “Yeah, seriously. I’m sure it’s been a while. Add that to the fact that you end up at a party with a pretty girl who looks at you like you hung the moon, then you have some drinks. Maybe she flirts with you a bit, makes you feel good. Oh, let’s not forget running into your ex, and then having said pretty girl stand up for you.”

“Oh shit… I forgot about that,” Jensen groaned. “What a fucking night…”

“My point is–”

“I get your point.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. Now shut up and let me die.” Jensen let his body slide down into the mattress and covered his face with the other pillow.

“I guess I’ve tortured you enough for now,” Jared said and patted his friend’s foot as he stood up from the bed. “We got food downstairs if you want. Gen and the kids are heading off to see a movie, but I’ll be down there if you want to talk, ok?”

“Mmmmm,” Jensen growled, and Jared took that to mean,  _ok._

When Jensen heard the door click softly, he moved the pillow off his face and sighed deeply. Exhaling the air slowly through his lips, he allowed his eyes to close again and conjure up Y/N’s image. He thought of how she looked when she threw the darts and then celebrated hitting the target. He remembered how her skin felt when his hand rested on her bare back, and the look in her (y/c) eyes right before he finally kissed her.

Despite the hangover and despair his body felt, he felt his cock twitch at the thought of kissing her again. He tried to make himself stop, but it replayed in his mind as if it were a movie on a screen. “Fuck,” he growled and forcibly pushed her from his mind as the disappointment set in that it all ended so suddenly.

Jensen threw off the covers angrily and stood up from the bed, waiting for his knees to lock and safely support his weight. On the floor to his right were the clothes he’d worn the night before. He picked them up and went to get dressed, but the second he pulled the shirt over his head, he got a lingering whiff of sandalwood and lilac…  _Her._

“FUCK!” he barked again and ran his hands through his hair then back down over his face.

There was so much to think about and consider; not just the things that Jared said, but the things Jensen knew to be true. Yes, he had been lonely, and yes, Dee had crushed him… but hadn’t he deserved that? He wasn’t an angel in their time together; not that he’d cheated on her or anything of the like. He had, however, been withholding sometimes; maybe treated her like she wasn’t as important to his life as she should have been. Yet, when Dee would ask him if he was happy, or if he wanted something different, he gave her the answer she wanted, not what he actually felt. When she finally left, it shattered him and he reveled in that guilt for months.

Was he doing the same thing with Y/N? Was he dragging her along in a different way? In one breath he had said that he was so focused on the festival, there wasn’t time for anything else. Yet in another, he was kissing her like she was his long lost lover who he’d just reunited with. Maybe it was better that she stopped it. But then again, if she hadn’t… maybe it could have been something great.

“You need to just fucking stop,” he mumbled to himself as he pulled his pants on and fastened the belt.

From the depths of his pocket, he could feel the vibration of his cell phone notification. Something there was waiting for him; a missed call from Y/N, perhaps? He dared not let himself linger on the tiny shred of hope he had at seeing her name there; he couldn’t hope for anything from or about her until he decided what he really wanted from Y/N. When he unlocked the screen and saw he had a text message waiting, he nervously hovered his finger over it. Finally finding the courage to press the little message icon, he exhaled shakily when her name was highlighted with a little “1” next to it.

>> _Hey, any chance you’re free for coffee today? We should probably talk._

Jensen sat back on the bed and felt his stomach bottom out. He assumed this would be where she told him she couldn’t do the job anymore, or be around him, and was moving back to New Jersey. The thought of which churned his stomach more than the bourbon ever could. He didn’t want to see her yet, he couldn’t. He needed more time, he needed to be completely free of the hangover and regret that corrupted him at that moment.

He hit reply on the text and realized she had sent it more than a few hours ago. Trying to think of an excuse, he used Jared and the kids as his out.

<< _Hey. I wish I could, because we probably do need to talk, but I can’t today. Promised Jar’s kids Uncle J would take them to a movie. Rain check?_

He hit send, sat back on the bed and squeezed his eyes shut while waiting for her response. When none came within a few minutes, Jensen gathered the rest of his belongs and decided it was time to go home, shower, and figure out what the Hell he was doing.

Y/N sat on a stool at the island counter of her kitchen, letting her fingers toy with the string of the envelope tie. In the padded manilla package were half a dozen proposals to various schools around the city of Austin and several contracts that needed Jensen’s signature. It was the last bit of business they had conducted for the festival before winding down for the holidays. Now it sat in her hands, almost mocking her. She wanted to push it off the counter like a child having a tantrum, but she refrained. Instead, Y/N picked up the envelope and shook the papers just loose enough so they were sticking out of the opening. She pulled the top one out and looked at his signature on the bottom of the page and ran her finger over it lightly.

A myriad of thoughts raced through her mind, including Bri’s words from both the night before and that morning as she was on her way out of the door.

“Remember,” she had said, her sunglasses pulled down on her nose so she could stare Y/N in the eye, “Talk to the man. Explain why you left, even if you just do it for you. Don’t lie, don’t sugar coat it. Be real, raw and if you like the man, tell him.” She left then, but not before wrapping her arms around Y/N and squeezing her tightly and making her promise to call or text soon.

Y/N did what Bri suggested, and decided that she did want to just rip off the bandaid and talk to Jensen. She had to. Him, Austin, the job… it was completely unexpected, but now that it had been a major part of her life over the past couple months, she didn’t want to lose it. That meant allowing herself to be vulnerable and explain why she ran out the night before.

Problem was, he said he was busy. She had texted him that morning, hoping he would be quick to respond with a  _‘Yes, let’s talk as soon as possible’_ , but that wasn’t the case. Instead, he told her he was taking Jared’s kids to the movies. It didn’t sit right with her. Y/N wanted to believe that she knew him, but that was one of the things she was unsure of… did she  _really_  know him?

“Uggghhh!” She let her forehead hit the counter and covered the back of her head with her hands. “I can’t take this shit,” she muttered.

Picking up her gaze, she remembered the notepad in the drawer and hopped off the stool to retrieve it. Before she could really think about it, she began to write. Biting down on her bottom lip, as she always did when nervous or deep in thought, her hand scribbled furiously until the stream of conscious writing blissfully came to an end.

Y/N laid down the pen, exhaled shakily, and began to read back what she wrote.

_Jay,_

_I really am sorry about last night. I want to explain what happened if you’ll let me. I know you were busy today, so maybe we can get together soon?_

_I am leaving this with the contracts at your place so you don’t have to wait until the start of business day tomorrow. I know you were anxious to get these off to the lawyer’s office ASAP. Things are really looking good to get these out with the information packets and in the mail to the various School Boards as well as the Texas Creative Arts Council. Everything’s moving forward nicely._

_Hope you and the kids enjoyed the movie!_

_-Y/N_

“Well, it’s not poetry, but, its to the point. I guess…” she trailed off as she started to second guess herself, then shook it off and quickly shoved the note into the envelope, and finally sealed it. Grabbing her keys and purse, she left the townhouse and headed over to Jensen’s place, before she lost her nerve completely.

It wasn’t more than twenty minutes to get to Jensen’s house. She had been there a few times since moving to Austin, and luckily he had already added her to the gatehouse’s frequent visitor list. Y/N’s heart was pounding harder with every mile closer and by the time she parked her car in front of his house, it was damn near rattling in her rib cage. Once she climbed out and began walking up the path to the door, she froze. She had planned to just leave it between the screen and front doors since he was out with Jared’s kids, but when she saw his car parked in the driveway it hit her that he had lied about being free to talk.

Y/N got her feet moving again. In the mere seconds it took to reach the front door, she asked a thousand different questions…. Should she leave it and go? Should she knock and just give it to him?  _Should she, should she_ …

She wanted to scream, is what she wanted to do. She was angry and hurt, and was hoping that it was just a fluke.

 _He wasn’t supposed to be home!_ She thought.  _Was Bri wrong? Was I wrong? Is he just lying to avoid me?_

She wanted to give him benefit of the doubt… was it good timing on her part, maybe? Did he stop here and then go in Jared’s car? Possible. She couldn’t shake the thought that he did lie and in her heart, she knew that would be the truth.

Y/N knocked on the wooden front door with one hand as she clutched the envelope to her chest with the other. She was gripping her keys so tight in her fist the metal was beginning to leave its imprint in her palm. It took less than a minute for her to hear the lock tumbler and to see the door open. Jensen stood before her, his hair soft and still a little damp from a shower, dressed in dark blue sweatpants and a white V-neck t-shirt. His feet were bare, and in one hand, he carried a bottle of water.

“How was the movie?” she asked flatly, still holding onto the envelope for dear life. It was her anchor in that moment, and she was afraid if she released the tension she held on it, she may lose it completely.

“I–we… Gen took them…” he swallowed hard and sighed. “I’m sorry. When I saw the text, I just wasn’t ready to talk.”

“That was all you had to say, Jensen! You didn’t have to make up some bullshit.” She tried to stay calm, but she could sense the hurt feelings rising fast.

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” he said. “I was hungover–”

“Just, stop. It’s fine. I just came to drop these off,” she paused, suddenly feeling the need to get away from him, and maybe Texas altogether. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna go back to Jersey for a while. This was the last few things we talked about before Christmas,” she pushed the envelope into his chest and released it, forcing him to take it or let it fall to the ground. She stepped back and crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “I need to finish up some things back home and I can do whatever else needs to be done from there.”

“Wait, you’re leaving now? Why?” he asked incredulously, his brow furrowed in confusion. “You just got back.”

“To be honest, I cut that trip short to come back here for the party,” she replied, lifting her gaze to finally meet and hold his. “Since you’re not  _ready_  to talk about it, then, I think it’s just better if I go back for a while. We don’t have that meeting with the Texas Creative Arts Council until the end of January, so until then…”

Jensen frowned and slowly nodded his head, but not in any way that really agreed with her. Y/N could feel his growing frustration, in turn making her both sad and yet still defiant. It was something she had always done, and on more than one occasion it got her into trouble. There was a stubborn streak in her, that wouldn’t completely allow her to just stop a trainwreck conversation in progress. She was both the conductor and the passenger on a collision course of misunderstanding, yet still completely helpless to stop it from happening.

“Maybe that’s a good idea. I gotta leave for Vancouver anyway. Work and all.” His tongue rolled out over his top teeth and raked back into his mouth over bottom lip. Y/N had seen that gesture when he was trying to hold back his frustration, but it had never been  _at_  her before. “So, just text me if you need anything, or give Robbie a call.”

They stood there silently for less than ten seconds, but to each of them, it felt like an eternity in Hell.

 _If he had just said he didn’t want to talk, instead of a stupid, pointless fib about a movie…_  she thought as she stood on his porch, still gripping her keys far too tight.  _If you had just stayed, last night…_  her heart countered. Her stomach fell, and she just needed to get away.

“I’ll text you anything important,” she said quietly.

“Yeah, ok,” he replied, but it came out garbled and rough. She couldn’t tell if this change in his inflection was due to disappointment, anger or both, but she hated it.

Not knowing what to do, she just stood there, waiting for him to say something more. Had she blown it all already? She could recant, say she would stay, and please could things go back to how they were? But after what happened the night before, not just her running out, but the kiss,  _Dear God, that fucking kiss_ , she thought… that kiss changed everything.

Maybe going home would be a good thing. She could go out onto the beach, watch the sunrise, and let her toes reconnect with the cold grains of sand; they were always able to ground her when she needed it. So much had happened in twenty-four hours, hell in the last week, that her head was reeling, her heart was hurting, and her feelings were a fucking mess.

“Alright then, well, I guess–uh–have a safe trip back to Vancouver, Jensen,” she said, unable to withstand the silence any longer. She turned to go, not wanting to wait for a response. He could’ve called out to her, called her back, told her to travel safe, but he didn’t. In her current state, Y/N continued to let the doubts, insecurities, and fears that had followed her around most of her life win out, as they continued to drive her away from Jensen, his house, and his city.

It cost a good size chunk of her savings, but Y/N found a flight that landed in Newark around midnight that evening. She had to move heaven and earth to get a seat on the flight that took her from Austin to North Jersey, and then at least an hour wait for a rental car. The drive itself put her pulling onto the dirt lane of her bungalow at almost three in the morning. Even as her tired, heavy eyes begged for sleep, the rest of her felt exhilarated by the smell of the salty air. It didn’t matter that she had just been here two days before, the feeling of walking up to the front door where she had spent all of her life was calming and much needed.

Y/N dropped her one carryon bag onto the couch and pulled her phone from her pocket. There had been a few notifications she ignored while driving and wanted to check them before she went down the hallway and fell onto her bed.

The first was a missed text message from Bri.

>> _Well, what happened?! Did you get to talk to him?_

The next was a missed call from an unknown number, but it had an area code that was local to Seaside. Ignoring that for the time being, she checked the last notification… this time it was from Jensen. She paused before hitting the little envelope on the screen, petrified of what it may say. Before New Year’s Eve, she would have been excited to open it, but now a feeling of dread washed over, making her worry that maybe he was texting to tell her to forget about the job after all, and she could just stay where she was.

>> _I hope you landed and made it home okay. Can you just text me and let me know you made it safely?_

Y/N went to the couch and fell onto it, using her carry on as an armrest, she put her elbow on it and rested her head against her hand. The phone was still in her other hand, and she absently scrolled through a bunch of text message exchanges she had with Jensen since first meeting him in October.

>> _Hey Trix, I lost my copy of the grant proposal for the TCAC, any chance you got another laying around?_

_< <Only if you ask nicely._

_> >Hey, I’m always nice._

_< <Sure, when you want something ;)_

_> >…. So?_

———–

<< _Dammit Jensen! I told you to wait for me. You suck. How could you go to Salty Sow without me? I thought we had something…_

_> >No one told you to spend three hours in the bookstore. A man needs to eat._

_< <… Fine. Guess I’ll just order pizza like a college freshman…_

_> >Nom, Nom, baby._

_< <I hate you. You owe me a Sow burger._

_> >Deal._

———–

>> _Still up?_

<< _Nope._

>> _……._

_< <What? I’m half asleep. That counts._

_> >Just wanted to say tonight was fun._

_< <It was! I’m surprised. Never thought I’d be able to line dance._

_> >You did great. We should go again when we aren’t scouting for bands. If you’re gonna be in Texas a while…_

_< <Only on one condition…_

_> >Yeah, anything_

_< <This summer you let me teach you how to surf._

_> >Like in the ocean? With sharks?_

_< <Coward._

Y/N inhaled slowly and held onto the breath as she finally looked away from the screen. She thought about the messages, and then that last interaction she had with Jensen. She dared to let herself even think about the kiss they shared on New Year’s Eve. It did nothing more than add to the confusion she carried in conjunction with his name. The whole night, including her talk with Bri, the text from Nathan, all of it left her completely unsure of what was right, wrong, up or down. She needed to clear her head, figure out what came next.

Bri’s words rang loudly in her ear, “… _before you make up your mind in any way, you need to figure out what’s most important. For you.”_

With that, and despite the very late, or early hour, depending on how you looked at it, Y/N closed the messaging app and went to the recent calls to find who she was looking for.

Hitting call next to their name, she waited anxiously for the phone to stop ringing, and an answer on the other end. One ring later, she could hear someone fumbling the cell and waited for the raspy greeting she was bound to get.

“Hey? Hel–hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” she said, trying to sound relatively awake for three a.m. “Sorry to wake you.”

“No, no, you’re fine. What’s up, Y/N?” he asked, surprised to hear her voice.

“I was thinking… maybe it’s time to talk.”

“Now? Over the phone? Is that a good idea?”

“Well, I had a change of plans and I’m actually back in town. Thought maybe we could go have coffee tomorrow or something?”

“Seriously?” he asked, even more, surprised at that, then at hearing her voice at all.

“Yeah. I think Harry’s is open. Say around eleven?”

“Yeah… that would be great, Y/N. I’d love that.”

“Ok, awesome. Well, back to sleep, sorry I woke you. I’ll see you later today, Nathan.”

She ended the call and settled back into the comfort of her couch. Y/N closed her tired eyes and tried not to think anymore that day. Not about Jensen. Not about Nate. Not about anything, then the sound of the ocean waves off in the distance.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizing that its time to leave NJ again to get back to work on the festival and have a much-needed conversation with Jensen, Y/N meets up with everyone at ChiCon. This gives finally gives her a moment with Jensen and an added bonus of playing with Louden Swain, featuring Briana Buckmaster, on stage for a crowded ballroom; something that affects Jensen more than he was expecting it too.

It had been one month since Y/N left Austin and came back to New Jersey. One month of awkward texts with Jensen related only to work, daily calls or texts from Briana and at least one Skype or FaceTime call from Robbie every few days. When it came to the amount of work and scouting to be done for the festival, the little man was a bundle of nerves and Y/N was the only one who seemed to be able to talk him down.

February came, and that’s when the first real pangs of doubt began to creep in. The life she had begun in Texas was beginning to fade, and she found herself missing it. Y/N missed the townhouse and living so close to a city like Austin with the diversity in the restaurants, the bars, the bands, the nightlife… and of course, there was Jensen. She missed all of it. Not that life in New Jersey had been boring or lackluster. Y/N had gone back to work for Leo temporarily since she was handling both ends of the transactions now for the Brewfest. Being back in her small office in his hotel, living in the bungalow again felt good, but the longer the cold winds of winter at the shore blew through and chilled her to the bone, the more she really missed Austin.

It wasn’t all work, though. She had a couple of occasions to play at one of the bars that were still open in Seaside during the winter, as well as reconnect with a few friends from the Burlesque group. Y/N had even spent some time with Nathan, though when she did, she made sure to keep her guard up, be wary of any promises he made or plans he tried to get her to agree too. Reminiscing with him was a trap that was easier to fall into than she thought it would be, and after the third time they met for coffee, she invited him to go have dinner. Once or twice a week in the time she was home, she would run into him in town, or make plans to hang out. Y/N always tried to keep it in a public place, and never let him get too close. She was doing her best to follow Bri’s advice and figure out what it was she wanted from, not just Nathan, but life itself.

In between all of that, was Jensen. Y/N thought of him every day, and on more than one occasion picked up the phone to actually call him. However, knowing that he was traveling from Vancouver to conventions and back for the foreseeable future, she decided against it. After the way they left things, she thought maybe a random phone call wouldn’t be the best move and wanted to wait until she could see him face to face. When that would be, she didn’t know, but by the time Groundhog Day had rolled around, she felt ready to make it happen soon.

The morning she woke up with the intention to make arrangements to fly back, a winter storm warning had gone into effect, ultimately grounding all flights in or out of the area. Y/N knew the drill and began to run the errands necessary to hunker down for the long haul, getting supplies for two to three days at least. By the time she reached the bungalow and filled the small pellet stove in the corner of the room, the snow had started falling.

As a kid, seeing the beach turn from the beige sand, to white snow had always been sort of magical. Watching the waves crash and spray the icy mist into the swirling flakes made her feel like she was experiencing something majestic, and it always left her feeling a little whimsical and reflective. That’s what she was doing when she heard the knock at the door several hours later, just as the storm was hitting its peak.

Pulling the crocheted blanket around her shoulders, Y/N went to the front door and opened it enough to see who it was.

“Nathan?” she asked, then opened it further and with it came a burst of cold, snowy air. “Come in before the snow does.” She ushered him in and closed the door quickly. “What are you doing here?”

He removed his scarf and hat, shaking off the snow that littered his shoulders and boots. “I came by to make sure you were alright. Didn’t know if you realized that cell service is sketchy, wanted to be sure you had everything you needed.”

“Yeah, I saw the winter storm advisory last night, made sure to hit the market this morning. Don’t tell me you walked all the way here from Seaside Park. That’s a few miles at least.”

“No, I have my dad’s truck,” he said then paused before unzipping his coat. Y/N could see in his eyes he came not just to check up on her, but because he wanted to stay a while.

“I’m fine, Nathan. Just watching the snow, reading and staying warm. I have everything I need.”

“Ok,” he said and half turned back to the door, then faced her again. He wore that crooked grin that she used to love so much. “Well then, maybe you need some company?”

“Sure. But I am going to tell you now, you can’t stay the night. You have to leave before the sun goes down.”

“Of course, Y/N. I just thought we could hang out for a bit.”

“Want some tea?”

“No,” he laughed. “I hate that stuff. I’ll take a soda if you got any, though.”

“Sorry, fresh out,” she said, but there’s water or juice in the fridge.

“Sweet,” he replied as he shrugged off his coat and hung it on the rack, then removed his boots before heading to the refrigerator and helping himself.

Y/N strolled back to the couch and reclaimed her place near the window that overlooked the ocean. She brought her knees up into her chest and watched Nathan as he moved about the kitchen and the living room just as naturally as he did in the old days. When he finally sat, he took the spot on the opposite end of the same couch she was on and rested his arm along the back of it.

Whenever Y/N and Nathan saw each other while she was visiting this time around, things were always awkward in the beginning. It didn’t matter if it was just for coffee, or on the few occasions that she actually let him take her to dinner. It was almost as if neither of them knew what to do with the situation or what to say to one another. But given enough time, they would end up finding a comfortable conversation.

Some of the time she’d watch him as he talked and recognize the man she used to love; same high cheekbones, same crooked smile, and sandy brown hair. Only now, his hair was short instead of the shoulder length it was when they were younger. His sky blue eyes were still able to lock her in and make her wonder how it had all gone so wrong between them. He had been the love of her life, her prince charming, the man who was going to save her from the kind of life that you grew up promising yourself you’d never live. But it had all gone so, so wrong.

She considered asking him, potentially broaching a long overdue conversation that they needed to have; especially if there was any possibility of a future. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to start. She tried to hide the smile that wanted to come when she wondered what Bri would say about that, but it quickly faded when she realized how much she missed Bri, too. That would make her thoughts circle back around to Austin, again, and how much she longed to go back.

“Hey, haven’t seen these in a long time,” he said and leaned forward, and plucked one of the photo albums from underneath the coffee table.

“Oh, yeah…” she replied and craned her neck over to see which one he picked up. They had been there since she showed Jensen the pictures from  _Grease_ , which now felt like a million years ago.

“Holy shit, high school pictures,” he laughed and started flipping through the album.

Over the course of the next hour, Y/N sat a foot or two away, yet enjoyed talking about old times with him. It felt good to laugh with Nathan again; it felt good to have her friend back. She didn’t notice that he was inching closer and closer until suddenly the arm that had been draped around the back of the couch was now brushing against her shoulder.

Nathan continued shaking memories loose; he brought up their junior prom, and how they had spent the night on the beach under the Tiki bar, getting drunk and screwing around until dawn before falling asleep together wrapped up in a blanket. She was smiling at the recollection, enjoying the feeling it brought back into her life when she felt his fingers toying with a tuft of her hair.

“I’ve really missed this,” he said softly. “A lot. I’m glad you’ve let me back in and gave me a chance to make it up to you.”

“Nathan, I… I don’t know–”

He inched closer, and what he did next surprised her. Before she could react, Nathan was brushing his lips against hers. Her eyes stayed open, but his drifted closed. It only lasted for a moment, but in that time Y/N realized that she knew everything she needed to know. She didn’t push him away, even though something inside of her told her too. Y/N kissed him back, but timidly, and without passion. His lips parted against hers, making it clear that he wanted it to escalate, but after a moment, Y/N broke away.

She retreated from him and brought her fingers up, pressing them gently to her lips. “Nathan… “

“Don’t, ok? Don’t say it was a mistake. Just, promise me that you won’t shut down on me. If I was being pushy–”

“It’s not that,” Y/N said and swallowed hard. “I care about your recovery, Nate. Seeing how well you’re doing has even allowed me to start forgiving you. But in the spirit of honesty, you should know that I’m not ready to be with you again. I don’t know if I ever will be. That doesn’t mean there is someone else. It means that I am going back to Austin, and I am focusing on work and don’t want anything sort of romantic entanglements.”

“Oh,” he sighed, clearly disappointed. “That doesn’t mean we have to say goodbye though, right? Can I still call you? Keep in touch?”

“Sure,” she said, and genuinely meant it. “As long as you understand, that, for now, I just want to be your friend.”

She watched him process this and had a second where she didn’t know how he would react. He wasn’t the same Nate she knew most of her life, and yet he wasn’t the last version she knew, either. Nathan was turning into a product of both of those men, and she was still learning his mannerisms and couldn’t always tell what he was going to do.

Nathan made it clear he wanted her back, and this rejection could be dangerous if he wasn’t as far into his recovery as he had said. But once his shoulders relaxed, and he picked his head up to meet her gaze, he smiled more like the Nate of long ago.

“Of course, Y/N. I get it. I’m going to keep showing you that you can trust me again though.”

“You just keep doing what’s best for you, Nate. That’s what would make me the happiest.”

Y/N’s cell began ringing in the with the familiar tone of Robbie’s FaceTime calls. She hesitated to answer it, but also didn’t want to miss out on a chance to talk to him knowing there were some meetings coming up they needed to prep for.

“Excuse me,” she said to Nathan and got up from the couch, pulling the cell out of her pocket as she did.

Y/N moved through the room and stood at the precipice of the hallway as she answered the call.

“Hey Robbie, what’s shakin’?” she answered in greeting.

“Thank God you picked up. When are you coming back, lady? I need you in Austin. I won’t be able to get back to there for another week or so. Any chance you’re heading back soon?”

“I’m working on it Robert,” she replied with a sigh. “The damned snow, however, has other plans.”

“Soon-ish, then?”

“Yes, my darling. Soonish. Honestly, as soon as the airports open up, I’m getting a ticket and will be on my way.”

“Did he tell you that the TCAC meeting was pushed back to the end of February?” Robbie asked into the camera, and the concern she saw on his face made her feel guilty.

“No,” she answered softly.

Her disappointment was not lost on Robbie. He hesitated, not wanting to make her feel worse, though he knew Jensen had been avoiding her. He didn’t have all the details about what happened between them but knew enough to know something had. “He’s been crazy busy, you know. Traveling like a lunatic. I’m sure he just forgot.”

“I’m sure,” she agreed and immediately wanted to change the subject. “So, the grant proposals? Any word?”

“Yes! Actually,” Robbie paused, relieved that she was the one to shift gears and shuffled through some papers that were off screen. He held up two and smiled victoriously. “We got two approvals! One from the Austin Creative Alliance and another just came through yesterday from one of the Federal ones. Buuuttt… can’t seem too…” he drifted off to the side, leaning out of the camera frame again.

Y/N chuckled. “Rob, it’s fine, come on back.”

She shifted away from the wall by the hallway and wandered into the kitchen to put the tea kettle back on the stove. As she did, Rob came back into view and noticed Nathan in the background of her call.

“Oh, hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company. I won’t keep ya while I look for it.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah… that’s ok. My friend Nate dropped by to be sure I was stocked up for the storm. He’s leaving soon, so if you need to go over more stuff later, I’ll be here.”

“Oh great. The band and I are going in to talk to a guy about some stuff coming up, so maybe I will give you a call later. This way you can be totally caught up before heading back to Austin. Which reminds me… did you make your travel arrangements yet for Boston or San Diego?”

“Yes. I am heading to Boston, San Diego and Seattle starting end of February through March. Couple days in each to secure all the contracts with the vendors. Oh, New Orleans, too.”

“Perfect. That means you’ll be back and able to head to Chicago with us, right? Same weekend as ChiCon? Thought we could meet up there and go check out a few bands.”

“Works for me,” Y/N said, and then realized that there would be no avoiding Jensen that weekend.

“Fantastic, you’re a gem, you know that?”

“Flattery will get you everywhere Robert.”

“Love it when you call me Robert,” he teased. “Ok, they’re yelling for me. I’ll talk to you later!”

“Bye,” she chuckled and ended the video call. She returned the phone to her pocket and continued to fix herself a cup of tea.

“So, work friend?” Nathan asked, getting up from the couch and heading into the kitchen now that her call was through.

“Yes.”

“Nice guy?”

“Yes, he is.”

Nathan nodded, leaned back against the counter and noticed she had only one cup out. “If you wanted me to go, you could just say so. I mean, you told him I was leaving soon. One cup out…”

Y/N sighed softly and tried to not turn the visit sour. “I thought you hated tea? Besides, it’s getting late. As well as things have been between us, I am not ready for you to stay here. With the weather being what it is, you probably should head back to your mom’s. I’m sure she could use your help with your dad being laid up with his foot in a cast. Can’t be easy for her to manage this weather on her own.”

He nodded, though she could see him straining to keep his mouth shut.

“I’m not trying to shut you out, Nathan. I genuinely have enjoyed hanging out with you again. You know, after all that shit happened–with the fight, and your life spiraling out of control–I never thought you’d be you again. Or that I would even be able to stand to be in the same room as you. But, here we are. Can’t that be enough for now?”

Nathan’s shoulders relaxed. “Don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“Not if you want this to continue.” She was blunt, but she needed to be. Y/N didn’t want to take any chances where Nathan was concerned.

“Alright,” he finally replied and pushed off the counter. He went to take his coat off the hook and as he laced his arms through the sleeves, turned to face her again. “I’m grateful you’re giving me another chance, Y/N. I am. So, you call the shots, ok? I know you’re busy, but maybe once your traveling calms down, I can even come to visit you in Austin. Never been to Texas before.”

The idea of him in Austin felt strange. There was a sudden fear that if the two different parts of her life came together like that it would blow up her entire world in some glorious fashion. Trying to neither encourage or discourage the idea of his visit, she simply shrugged, found her most pleasant smile and nodded.

Nathan moved across the kitchen and took her in an embrace before she had the chance to say no. It was a familiar feeling; similar to what one experience when finding an old winter coat they hadn’t worn in years. It may not fit properly anymore, but the quilting of the fabric brought back pleasant memories.

“Call me, ok?” he said before releasing her.

“Sure thing. Take care of yourself, Nate.”

When Nate opened the door to go, the wind whipped through and the day’s fading light allowed him just enough time to get home before going completely dark. When the door latched shut behind him, she felt a mild sense of relief that she was alone again. There were still a lot of things she wanted to have time to mull over before returning to Austin, especially before seeing Jensen again in Chicago. The extended trip home had been good for her, despite the reasons she ended up there. It allowed her time to be sure that Austin and the job were the things she truly loved and wanted in her life.

Even the time she spent with Nate had been helpful in coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t something that had to stand in her way anymore. Her feelings for Jensen were still confusing and muddled, but in her heart, Y/N felt sure that her time as Nate’s girlfriend had come to an end. Though unexpected, the kiss they had shared that night cemented that. She could find room in her heart for him as a friend, but there was no future for them as a couple.

Lost in thoughts, Y/N didn’t move from the counter until the kettle began to whistle behind her. She flipped off the burner, and as she poured the hot water into the cup, she felt determined to settle the Jensen business. With so many of her other uncertainties fading away, she wanted this one too as well. Taking her cell phone back out of her pocket, she went to the contacts in her messaging app and pulled up “Mama”. If anyone could help her sort things out, it would be that tall drink of water.

<< _Hey, any chance you’re around once snowmaggedon stops?_

It only took about ten seconds for her to respond.

>> _I’ve always got time for you, sugar. Whatcha thinkin’?_

_< <Rehearsal?_

_> >Cancelled._

_< <Damn. Ok, snow should be done by midnight. Coffee at my place in the AM?_

_> >Be there with bells on._

_< <Knowing you, I expect nothing less. Luv u!_

_> >Back atcha_

The following morning dawned bright, with a clear sky and a snowy beach that reflected the colors of sunrise. Mama was knocking on Y/N’s door by quarter past nine, holding a pastry box in one hand and a garment bag in the other.

Y/N opened the door to greet her, and immediately broke out into laughter as she realized that Mama was wearing sleigh bells in her hair.

“You’re a freak,” Y/N laughed and gave the woman a big wet kiss on her cheek. “But you’re my freak.”

“Always and forever,” Mama purred lowly, winking at Y/N as she handed off both the pastry box and bag. “Dear Lord, I have not been here in forever! When was the last time?”

“God… it has to be last spring, maybe. Maybe even Christmas prior.”

“Either way, too long. Though I see you’ve kept the decor fisherman chic. Please, when will you let me redecorate for you?”

“One day, I promise. But for now, I have some things I want to talk to you about.”

Y/N moved around her small kitchen, pouring coffee and unveiling the apple crumb cake Mama brought from Freedman’s Bakery. The smell of apples and cinnamon instantly filled the room and mixed with the aroma of the coffee, Mama began to hum.

“Mmmm MM! It smells good in here. Like a little slice of heaven,” she sighed and pulled out one of the two chairs at the kitchen table. Just as she sat, she gratefully took the hot mug Y/N offered her. “What sort of things do you have on your mind?”

“Well,” Y/N started, then pulled out a seat of her own and began to slice the crumb cake. “I texted you last night because I had something on my mind. However, I couldn’t sleep last night, and I started thinking about work, and had something else entirely to talk to you about.” Y/N was rambling and Mama sensed she was probably already a pot deep into the coffee.

“Honey,” Mama said and covered Y/N’s hands to get them to stop fidgeting with the cake. “Slow down. First things first… what was on your mind last night?”

She hesitated, unsure of how to start. “I didn’t get to tell you because you were in Florida, but I went to a New Year’s party, back in Austin.”

“Ok, sounds fun. Continue,” Mama said and motioned towards her before sipping at her coffee.

“Right. Well, I guess I should start with saying that when I was home for Christmas, Nate showed up here Christmas morning. Then, I went back early so I could go to this party with Jensen. He kissed me at midnight and then I panicked and ran out.”

Mama coughed as she tried to swallow her coffee and then carefully placed the mug back on the table. She grabbed a napkin and wiped at the corners of her mouth like the old southern debutante that she had once been. Once she regained her composure, she sat up straighter and looked Y/N squarely in the eye.

“You best start from the beginning and leave no detail out. Because hearing that you spent an evening with that luscious man is one thing, but also hearing that dickhead’s name in the mix has soured the first bit. Explain yourself, please. What the hell do you mean that Nathan was here on Christmas? Why didn’t you call me?”

“He took me by surprise. He wanted to talk.”

“And you let him in?”

“Yes…” Y/N replied with a sigh, knowing she would get a barrage of crap from Mama for that.

“I’m in shock. After what he did to you!?”

“I know… I just… I don’t know. He wanted to apologize. He’s working the twelve steps–”

“Twelve steps? Ha! Twelve steps…” she muttered. “I didn’t realize you could twelve-step your way out of being a shithead.”

“I know he was terrible then, but for a lot of years he wasn’t and I guess I wanted to know if there was anything good left in him. I saw a glimmer of who he used to be.”

“We need to move on from Nate, cause honey, it just makes my blood boil.”

“Ok, so after he left, I went back to Austin a few days later and went to a party with Jensen. We’ve been getting along great, working together well, and he’s a lot of fun.”

“Yes, he certainly is,” she mused, her expression quickly fading from aggravated to dreamy. “Now I believe you mentioned something about a kiss…”

“He did.  _WE_  did… at midnight,” Y/N answered and couldn’t help feeling the twist in her gut that was now associated with that night.

“And?”

“And… it…”

“Y/N?”

She shrugged. “I’ve never felt anything like that. Ever.”

Mama’s face relaxed into a euphoric afterglow. “Please, dear, sweet Lord in Heaven tell me you let that man have his way with you.”

“No!” Y/N laughed and got up from the seat. She was feeling anxious about it all; mostly because she felt so stupid for having run away from him. “It was amazing, and then I got nervous. Someone walked in and it gave me a moment to basically lose my mind and run.”

“You left?!” Mama’s jaw dropped and she quickly stood from the table. “What the–Child, I should whoop your ass. First, you let Nathan in this house, then you run out on that precious Texas boy? It’s like I don’t even know you,” she huffed.

Mama, for a woman of her generous height and weight moved across the kitchen in a heartbeat and lightly smacked the back of Y/N’s head twice.

“One for lettin’ Nathan in, the other for running out on Jensen!”

“Ow,” Y/N whined and rubbed the back of her head. Her brow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Trust me, I wish I knew why I do what I do. One second we were… you know, gettin’ handsy, and the next minute…” she shrugged.

“That son of a bitch Nathan… he was on your mind, wasn’t he?”

“Partially. It was more than that though. I’ve had two relationships in my life, Mama. Two. Nathan, and he who shall not be named.”

“Mmmm, yes. I forgot you had your own Voldemort. But that was what… six months after Nathan left and lasted for less than a month? You can’t count him… especially cause I can’t even remember his name.”

“Whatever, my point is, that both of these relationships were toxic. The last thing I want right now is another go-round with getting my heart broken. I should never have dated after Nathan, so figured I would try a one night stand. It left me so cold and empty. I don’t want that, either. I didn’t want to ruin a good friendship with Jensen, or have it turn toxic.”

“Sug, I get that. But you can’t push your feelings away every time they try and wake you up.”

“Can’t I? I love this job, Mama. I feel like I finally found what I am meant to do. What if we slept together, and it got weird. I wouldn’t be able to work with him. Besides, it’s not even all that happened.”

“What else?” she sighed and rubbed at her temples. “This should have been a Bloody Mary breakfast.”

Y/N ignored her quip. “The next day I told him I wanted to talk. He said he was busy. So I stopped by to drop off some contracts and it turned out he was home. He lied because he didn’t want to talk.”

“That’s why you are back here, instead of living in Austin?”

Y/N nodded and watched with anxiety as Mama seemed to sift through a host of quiet thoughts before deciding how to respond.

“If I didn’t love you as I do… I would smack you again.”

“Why?”

“He lied? So what?! You ran out on him! You know what that’s gonna do to a man’s pride. Hell,  _anyone’s_ pride?! Sugar, you… you need to stop lettin’ that heart of yours dictate all your decisions. That man–I spent time with him, ok? I saw how he watched you on that stage. You didn’t. I saw how his face lit up, and that gorgeous grin spread from ear to ear. You mesmerized him.”

Mama took Y/N’s chin between her fingers and lovingly lifted her face so their eyes could meet. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t like that boy.”

“I can’t,” she whispered, almost pathetically. “I do like him. But I’m also very scared of him.”

Mama considered this for a minute and smiled at her friend. “Then, you need to go back to Texas, make amends, and rekindle that friendship you two had been startin’. I think that will be how you stop being so damn scared.”

“I have a flight out tonight,” Y/N said and laughed when Mama raised both fists into the air in celebration.

“That’s my girl!”

“I mean, I won’t see him for a while, but I think you’re right. I owe him an apology. I just hope he can forgive me.”

“I have no doubt that he probably already has. Now, that’s settled… Nat–”

“No. I’ve given him enough thought lately. I’d rather talk about my burst of inspiration that I had last night.”

“Which was?”

“You, the whole troupe… I want you to perform at the festival.”

Mama’s eyes grew large, her plump dimpled cheeks expanding as the smile unfurled across her painted pink lips. “Shut the hell up! Seriously?”

“Yeah. I mean… I am still working out all the logistics, but, we have a few stages to fill and I thought who better than to take on one of the theaters for the Saturday night slot? Whatever you guys wanna do… it’s your call. We have a hotel all reserved for talent, so your accommodations are taken care of. And I am sure I could help you with the travel arrangements. I just need you guys to say yes, and you’re in.”

“Well slap my ass and call me Sally!” Mama cackled and smacked her knee; her southern lilt bolder than usual. “You best  _believe_  we’ll be there, suga!”

“Fantastic! I will get you all of the details as soon as I get back to Austin.”

“Well now, hold on one second… you know what’s funny,” Mama said and went into the living room to retrieve the garment bag she had brought with her. “I brought this today because I thought you may want it for something. Didn’t know what, but when Marie brought it into rehearsals last I was there, everyone agreed only  _you_  would be able to pull this costume off.”

She hung the hanger on the top door of the refrigerator and slowly unzipped the vinyl bag. Y/N softly gasped when she saw the frock Mama had brought her. It was a full-length strapless dress that had a corset top with a heart-shaped bustier with deep purple accents, streaming out into a black skirt that was shorter in the front and flowed out from the back. The skirt itself had black velvet swirls imprinted on the ebony material and heavily ruffled bottom that would give it an amazing look when it twirled.

“Mama…” she breathed and ran her fingers over the dark purple accents. “This is gorgeous.”

“It is. And in the bottom are the accessories. You have to wear this. At least once. And what a better place than at the festival. So, you agree to perform one number with us, then we will be there to fill your stage for an entire night.”

Y/N considered the offer and knew that she had to say yes. She hadn’t gotten to the point where she thought about her part in performing at the festival. Working behind the scenes had completely garnered all her attention, so this was the first time she gave it any real thought.

“Alright,” she said, “you win. I will take this back to Austin with me and put it aside for a night on stage with The Corsets. Do I get to pick the routine, or…?”

“Oh no, honey. I’m the Creative Director now,” Mama pinched her cheek and took her place back at the table. “Now, don’t think I am done talking about this whole Jensen situation. I wanna hear more details about this New Year’s Eve party…” She leaned back and sipped her coffee before taking a large bite of her crumb cake. “You best start talking.”

For the rest of the morning, Y/N caught Mama up on New Year’s Eve, including playing with Bri, hearing Jensen sing, the encounter with Dee all the way up to her moment in the game room. By the time the coffee was gone and the cake was only crumbs, Mama had heard the tale, soup to nuts, and sat there stunned, letting it all sink in.

They talked a while longer before Y/N realized the time and had to get ready to leave for the airport. Mama had hugged her tightly with both a warning and a promise before she left.

“I promise that we will put on one hell of a show for those Texans. But, in the meantime, stop being stupid and go kiss the cute boy. Let him know that you’re all in, even if it is a slow-moving gamble. You’ll regret it if you don’t. You hear? I’ll keep my promise to whoop you when I get to Austin if you don’t. Got it?”

“Yes, Mama,” Y/N laughed and embraced her again before watching her go out into the cold winter air.

Hours later, as she made her way through the airport and onto the plane, she felt good about going back. There were still a few lingering doubts about how she and Jensen would be with seeing each other again, but there was time to work on that. First, she needed to get back to Austin, her new home, and refocus herself completely on making the Brewfest as big, bold and beautiful as Jensen’s vision for it was. Outside of that, everything would just have to wait.

Much like Y/N expected, there wasn’t much of a chance to see Jensen through the rest of February and March. It was disappointing to her, mostly because she was really starting to miss him. His schedule in Vancouver changed last minute, which caused him to have to miss the Texas Creative Arts Council meeting as well as a few others he had intended to be at, in turn dashing her hopes of finally getting to talk face to face. Her own travel schedule picked up, as she zigzagged across the country meeting with business owners, sponsors, and supporters of the Hometown Brewfest extravaganza.   

The frequency of text exchanges between them increased, and it gave her a glimmer of hope that they could still work through whatever they needed to. As the weeks carried on, and the dates of ChiCon inched closer, Y/N found herself growing more and more anxious about finally having that moment.

Two weeks before, the whole group was in Nashville for a con, while Y/N was wrapping up some last minute business in New Orleans. She was chatting with Rob about a band she found by happenstance, and during the video call, Jensen passed behind him in the background. Her heart lept up in her throat, though she successfully kept her outward demeanor calm and collected. Y/N watched as Jensen did a double take as he noticed her on the screen of Rob’s phone. Leaning over his friend’s shoulder, he shoved his face in the camera and smiled, gave a simple wave and then was called away before he could actually speak.

It was enough to give her that final boost of confidence that they would be ok, but she still desperately needed to clear the air with him. That, however, wouldn’t happen for another two weeks when she found herself pacing the backstage area of the hotel in Chicago where the stars of Supernatural were gathering in preparation for a weekend full of panels, photo ops and a jam-packed concert with Robbie’s band.

Y/N had arrived that Saturday morning well after the festivities had gotten underway. Bri was the first person who she found and was greeted by an over-exuberant hug and the subsequent barrage of questions about everything under the sun. She was quickly whisked away to her panel with Kim, leaving Y/N holding her credentials and aimlessly wandering around the hotel. That was until she found herself on a mission to finally locate and talk to Jensen.

The extra wide hallway of the hotel outside the green room was carpeted with the ugliest yellow, gold and blue carpeting Y/N had ever seen. Though, as she paced it back and forth, she couldn’t take her eyes off of it. Eventually, she found herself pacing along the blue lines that intertwined between the yellow and gold diamond pattern. As ugly as it was, it was somehow keeping her nerves at bay. She could run into Jensen at any time now, and it took all of her willpower not to just turn and run… again.

She wouldn’t though. Her and Jensen needed to set things straight. She didn’t know if this was the way to do it, or what she would say exactly, but she knew it had to be done. Y/N had gotten a peek at his schedule when she checked in and got her credentials to be able to come and go as she pleased. He would be in the green room now, or at least on his way there. So that’s where she headed.

Y/N stalled once she reached the green room door, deciding that maybe just barging in and demanding he talk to her was a bad idea. That’s when the pacing started again and continued for several minutes. She bit on her lower lip and closed her eyes, hanging her head and trying to decide what to do.

She continued walking, but with her eyes closed, she didn’t realize she was walking off her pattern, and straight into oncoming people.

“Whoa there!”

Y/N looked up, and in horrific slow motion, realized she ran square into Jensen’s chest. His hands had gently grabbed her shoulders when they collided, and they lingered there now as recognition touched his features one by one. Seeing him again after so long felt like a shock to her system; her mouth went dry, and she could feel her hands starting to tremble. When she tried to swallow, it stuck like a lump in her throat cutting off the air to her brain and making her feel light headed.

“H-Hey,” she breathed.

“Robbie said you were gonna be here,” he said, then nervously ran his tongue out and over his bottom lip. “It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah,” Y/N agreed, still unsure of what to say. “How’ve you been?” Her words were hesitant and staggered; her gaze unable to break from his.

Jensen finally realized his hands were still on her shoulders and quickly let go.

“Good. Busy, but good. You?”

“Better now that–”

The green room door opened with a bang, startling both Jensen and Y/N. Half a dozen people funneled out, mostly hotel staff, but Robbie was among them.

“Just who I was looking for!” he exclaimed and walked over to them. “You,” he said pointing to Jensen, “have about two minutes before Rich is gonna call you up for your panel with Misha. And you,” he turned to Y/N, “need to come with me while I got a quick ten minutes and figure out where we are going tonight if there’s time. There are a few clubs we gotta hit between tonight and tomorrow.”

“Can you just give us a minute, Rob?” Jensen asked him, and yet, his eyes still didn’t waver from Y/N’s gaze.  

“Uh, sure. I’ll be right over there, Y/N.” He looked hesitantly between them, and quietly stepped back and around the corner.

Jensen cleared his throat and turned back to her, unable to disguise just how nervous he was. “About what happened… I wanna, I mean, we should talk, but I do gotta go right now–”

“Right, of course,“ she said, taking a step back from him and suddenly scared to say what she wanted to. “We can do it another time.”

“Later, you’re scouting bands tonight with Rob? Sounds fun. Maybe if you’re not back too late–”

“Mr. Ackles!”

A small blonde haired woman popped her head from around the other end of the hallway and waved frantically for him to come.

“I gotta run,” he said but took a beat to hold her gaze a little longer. It took the impatient little woman at the end of the hallway calling him again, to get his feet moving.

Jensen took a few steps in the direction he had to go, then turned to face her as he walked backward down the corridor. He chuckled nervously and Y/N felt a rush of relief when she realized he seemed truly happy to see her.

“Don’t go far, okay? The panel only lasts about an hour. Maybe we could talk after?  I’d really like too–” ****

“Jensen, please, the panel is starting!” The woman was pleading with him now.

“I’ll be around, Hollywood. Come find me,” she shrugged, trying to be calm, cool and casual. Y/N held back as best she could, but Jensen got the idea that she was happy to see him, too.

“You got it, Trix. I’ll come to find you.” The corner of his mouth pulled up into a smirk, and as he continued to walk away from her, Y/N could hear his happy chuckle fade down the hallway. Just before he turned and disappeared completely, he paused and gave Y/N a wink before heading off to his panel.

When he had disappeared around the far corner, she sighed heavily and laughed to herself, completely overcome with relief. A moment later she heard Robbie walk up behind her and clear his throat.

“Everything go ok?” he asked hesitantly.

Y/N nodded. “Yeah,” she said and did her best to stow the overwhelming relief she had over that encounter with Jensen. “I think we’ll be good.”

“Good,” Robbie said and slung his arm over her shoulders. “Now, let’s talk about the weekend, shall we?” He turned her around and guided her in the opposite direction.

The panel, one that he normally loved doing, felt like an eternity on that particular Saturday afternoon. Jensen and Misha answered questions, engaged in their usual banter, and of course, made a room of hundreds of people scream and laugh with delight. He did his best to maintain his normal energetic vibe, but even Misha could see that his mind just wasn’t in the game.

Instead, Jensen’s mind was firmly stuck on Y/N.

She was there, in the same city, in the same hotel just a few hundred feet away. All he wanted to do was go and see her, talk to her, hash this dumb shit out that made them lose three months of getting closer; three months of seeing her smile, hearing her voice and getting to know more about her.

Jensen was pissed at himself for weeks after New Year’s Day. Regardless of whether he had the right to be upset at her or not, he reverted to his petty and childish demeanor, where women were concerned, and he beat himself up for it. His knee jerk reaction to her running out had everything to do with Dee, and not so much Y/N herself. He needed to tell her that’s why he lied about something so stupid to avoid her. Y/N would understand… that’s what made her different.

Y/N had made the effort, hadn’t she? She came to leave the envelope, and in it was her plea to talk to him. She wanted to explain herself, but at that moment he just couldn’t let her. Then she ran back to New Jersey so fast, which initially made him angry. But it didn’t take him long to realize that she’d been through just as much bullshit with her past as he had, and instead of being angry, he should try and sympathize.

Weeks later he happened to talk to Rob who’d mentioned in passing that he had a FaceTime call with Y/N. It had been in the middle of the snowstorm towards the end of January that she told Rob she would be coming back to Austin. That wasn’t all though, was it? As Jensen sat on the panel stage, and half listened to Misha tell a story about his daughter that made the crowd roar with laughter, he was thinking about the guy hanging out with Y/N while she was home; the one Robbie saw in the background that day. As if on cue, he laughed at Misha’s story, joining in with the rest of the ballroom, but on the inside, he was simmering with jealousy.

Jensen wondered if that was the same “old friend” that showed up at her place on Christmas, and of course, couldn’t help but be curious if that guy was part of why she’d run out on him. Swallowing down the bile that rose in his throat, he continued on with his Q&A with the fans and tried to forget it for the time being.

Finally, the panel had come to an end, with it also being their last panel of the day. Misha was escorted to his last set of photo ops, while Jensen was able to head back to the green room, hoping that he would once again bump into Y/N.

The hallway where he had left her was now empty, as was the green room. He considered calling her and asking where she was, but instead texted Rob and asked if they were still together.

<< _Hey man, is Y/N still with you?_

_> >Nah, she went to check a few places out while it was still light out. She’ll be back for SNS._

Jensen sighed and sent back a quick reply, then tucked his phone away and headed back to his own room to get ready for that night’s concert.

Louden Swain took the stage around nine that night. They played through a few of their originals, and then a handful of covers with some of the cast. Jensen knew he’d go up for a couple of songs, but he was holding out until the end so he could catch Y/N.

“Hey handsome,” Bri greeted, coming up alongside where Jensen was sitting, startling him out of his thoughts. “How’d your day go today?”

“Great,” he said with a tired smile. “Long day though. How about you?”

“Oh you know, fantastic. Kim and I kicked ass. Had some great ops… a cocktail or two in between. You know, the usual.”

“That’s my girl,” he teased and then perked up thinking she could help him. “Any chance you’ve seen Y/N around?”

“Yes! Earlier today when she first came in, then about five minutes ago. She’ll be here in a second, why? Got something you need to say to her? Hmmmm?” Bri raised one perfectly manicured brow at him, challenging him to open up a bit more.

“Yes. Actually, I do.”

“Good boy. I know she wants to talk to you too–” From the stage, Bri heard her cue to go up with Robbie for her song. “Look, she’s around. Talk. To. Her. Then, keep her close, I’m gonna need her.” She wiggled her brows and stuck her tongue out playfully before bounding up the short set of steps that would take her backstage.

Jensen chuckled as she disappeared behind the curtain and out to the roar of applause from the crowd. He tried to think of what he would be doing that night with the band. Jason was playing too, and they talked about The Joker and maybe Whipping Post. He closed his eyes and ran through both songs, half hearing Robbie and Bri singing “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around” coming from the stage. He certainly didn’t hear Y/N and she came from around the corner and stood in front of him.

“Hey stranger,” she said softly. Despite the music coming from close behind him, he heard her perfectly.

Jensen opened his eyes and thought maybe he was just imagining her there. She looked different than she had earlier. Gone was her T-shirt and ripped jeans, a look that he really loved on her. Now she wore the tight blue jeans and knee-high boots with a black and white, long sleeve peasant-style blouse that was loosely tied at the neck and open enough to accentuate her cleavage. Jensen had a split-second thought about what she had on beneath it before he was able to make himself speak again.

“Hey yourself,” he breathed, standing up from the platform he was sitting on. “How’s your, uh, you know, how’s it–”

“I’m good, Jay. Robbie asked me to come back for the concert. Glad you stuck around. Are you going up there tonight?”

Jensen nodded, suddenly tongue-tied and unsure of what to say.

“They sound great,” Y/N motioned towards the stage and took a few steps closer. “That’s a great song.”

“It is,” he said, but needed to say more and was tired of waiting. “Y/N,” he paused and waited for her to face him. She did, and he could tell she knew what he was about to say. “About New Year’s…”

“Jay, wait. Before you say anything… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for running away like I did. I shouldn’t have–”

“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have lied about the stupid movie. It was all so…”

“Stupid?”

“Childish. I guess I could give you a laundry list of reasons–”

“But they wouldn’t matter,” she said quietly and cast her gaze down to her feet. When she looked up at him again, he saw something in her face that made him relax and understand she wanted to move on as badly as he did.

“Yeah. Can we just,” he sighed and shrugged, “just get back to being friends?”

“Yes. I want that, more than anything,” she sighed in relief.

“Good,” he breathed and took a hesitant step closer to her. Y/N stepped in and put her arms around his neck to hug him. Though it took him by surprise, he didn’t waste a second in returning the embrace. She felt so good in his arms as they snaked their way around her waist. It took a lot of willpower on his part to stop himself from nuzzling his face into her neck and drawing in a deep breath of her scent.

From the stage, the music shifted and while the band kept playing, Bri popped her head through the curtain and saw Y/N with Jensen.

“Hate to break up this very much needed moment, but Y/N, I need you up here please.”

Jensen reluctantly released her and saw the scheming look in Briana’s eyes. He narrowed his gaze at her, and she just slyly winked. “Come on slowpoke! They’re waiting.”

“Who’s waiting?” she asked, looking curiously between Jensen and Bri.

“Everyone…” Bri replied and swept back the curtain so Y/N could see the audience.

“What? Oh no, I didn’t–I’m not–”

“You are, and you can. Come on, lady! Time to get your cute little ass up here and sing on stage with me and Robbie.”

Y/N looked to Jensen to save her, but he just shook his head. “Oh no, I’m with Bri on this one. Like I’d ever pass up a chance to watch you on stage.”

Realizing she was being ganged up on, Y/N sighed as her chin fell to her chest in defeat and she made her way up the small set of stairs. “I hate you both,” she chided and both Bri and Jensen rolled their eyes.

Jensen watched from backstage as she got up next to Robbie who was on the mic and introduced Y/N to the crowd. When he spoke about the Brewfest the crowd cheered, and it was the first time Jensen understood just how much work she’d been putting into it, not just into organizing things, but getting the word out to the public about the upcoming event.

Robbie leaned over and whispered something in her ear, Y/N nodded and faced the crowd, giving them a wave. Jensen saw how they seemed to love her already and they hadn’t even heard her sing yet. Robbie faced the band and signaled the next song as the familiar beat of Heart’s “What About Love” kicked in.

Y/N started to sing, and Jensen felt his knees go weak. It had been a while, too long he would say if someone had asked him since he had heard her sing. She fell right into the groove with the band, completely unaware of how sexy and majestic she was on the stage. Bri was beside her, sharing the verses and singing harmonies together. They blended effortlessly with Robbie’s voice, too. Y/N held the notes and used her strong bravado to carry them out, once again making the crowd go wild.

Hints of jealousy filled Jensen, but not because of the reaction she was garnering, but because he wasn’t on stage next to her. How could he have not sung with her yet? At least strummed a guitar while she sat across from him, her tender pitch humming along with whatever he was playing. It suddenly became of utmost importance to him to share a stage with her, but for now, he just hung back and relished in the way her voice made him feel. Anyone that saw him watching her would know that he was so clearly infatuated with this girl, and almost nothing would have pulled him away.  

As the song wound towards the end, Jason breezed past Jensen, smacking his shoulder along the way.

“Almost ready, brother? Gonna kick it off with ‘The Joker’, right?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah! Just like we said, call me in when you’re ready.”

“You got it!” Jason replied before running out on the stage.

Jason handled the first chorus, and during the musical interlude, he brought Jensen up and he easily slipped into the version of himself he brought out on the Saturday Night Specials. He noticed that Briana and Y/N were still up there, yet off towards stage right, and singing along with the chorus of the song. Jensen casually strolled in their direction, just feeling the need to be as close to Y/N as possible. The moment the music came back around to where he picked up the song, happened to be the same moment that Jensen walked around behind her, then was at her side. Without giving it a second thought, he draped his arm around her shoulders and sang the lines directly to her… their eyes locked as if he was speaking solely to Y/N and not to a room of hundreds of people.

“ _You’re the cutest thing I ever did see…_

_Really love your peaches wanna shake your tree_

_Lovey-dovey lovey-dovey lovey-dovey all the time…_

_Oooey baby I sure show you a good time…”_

The song played on, and eventually, he moved back across the stage and sang out to the crowd. But the expression that came to rest on her face was not something he would ever forget. He caught glimpses of her smiling as her eyes followed across the stage. He liked how it felt for her to watch him; he felt uninhibited and free to be himself.

When it was over, he was disappointed as Bri grabbed Y/N’s hand now that their turn on stage was done. They waved to the audience and the band transitioned into “Whipping Post” while they exited through the back.

As Jensen belted out line after line of The Allman Brothers song, he wished Y/N had stayed out there with them and secretly hoped she was watching from backstage. Thank God he was singing a song he knew without having to think about because all his mind could really focus on was how good it felt to have her back around. At that moment, Jensen had felt better than he had in a very long time. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still in Chicago, Y/N, Jensen, Rob & Bri spend some time scouting bands for BrewFest.

An hour after the Saturday Night Special ended, the taxi Rob had hailed brought himself, Y/N and Jensen to a small blues club on Armitage Avenue called Rosa’s Lounge. That night Rob had been able to reserve three tickets to see Lurrie Bell and Melvin Smith kick around some old blues songs.

The lounge was longer than it was wide, with a smattering of tables along the one long wall. The bar spanned half of the other, with the small stage to towards the front of the room. The place was nearly packed full. By the time they arrived, the music was well underway, so they found a table in the far back corner and settled in.

“Drinks?” Rob asked before he sat, intending to head to the bar.

“Whatever they got on tap for me, man,” Jensen said and looked to Y/N.

“Same,” she said and leaned back in her chair. Y/N could feel Jensen’s eyes on her and did her best to not meet them. They’d only been around each for less than half a day, after months of little to no communication. So when Rob walked away, it was uncomfortably silent at their table.

Y/N focused on the music, telling herself that since they walked in late, it was the polite thing to do. Watching Bell and Smith play was why they were there, and she didn’t feel like it was the time and place for small talk. Rob came back a minute later and rejoined the table, listening and tapping his foot to the music. After another song or two, the duo took a break and Rob excused himself to make a quick call.

It didn’t take more than a second for Jensen grab her attention. “So, fill me in. How’ve things been?”

“Things? What things?” she asked with feigned ignorance. She knew what he wanted to know.

“You know… its been a while since we  _actually_  got to talk. Even before New Year’s,” he paused at the mention of the ill-fated evening but continued when Y/N didn’t seem to flinch at it. “Feel like I haven’t seen you in a long time.”

Y/N leaned her elbows on the table and stretched out her arms, clasping her fingers around the cool bottom of her glass. “It has been a long time, Jay.”

“I’m sorry for that.”

“Moving on, remember?”

“You’re right…” he put his hands up in relent before picking up his beer and taking a long sip.

She felt his eyes stay on her, even over the rim of the glass. When he put it down he drew in a deep breath and Y/N knew he was ready to ask her what he really wanted to know.

“So, uh… Rob told me you guys did the whole FaceTime thing from time to time.”

“Mhm,” she hummed, knowing exactly where he was going in his way of getting there. She could’ve just gave him the answer he was looking for, but part of her wanted to gauge his expression as he asked.

“Said he got to see your friend, Nate.”

“He did.” Y/N sipped at her beer and watched him try and find the guts to get to the question.

He could read her so well and snorted a laugh when he came to understand just by the expression on her face, that she already knew what that question was. “Your friend… that’s the ex, right? The same guy who visited on Christmas.”

“Yes, Nathan, my ex. He stopped by one afternoon when Rob happened to call.”

“Ex, huh? Hm. Ex, boyfriend? Or are we talking ex-fiance?”

“Why, Jay? Why do you want to know?” she asked, slightly exasperated.

“Because I do.” He locked in with her gaze and held it without wavering.

The way he stared into her made her stomach flutter and her uncertainty fluctuate. “Boyfriend of many, many years. And to answer the next question, no. We are not back together. We reconnected as friends… didn’t know if that would be possible, but, we did. I told him in no uncertain terms that’s all we would ever be again.”

“Why?” Jensen asked, then Y/N saw him swallow hard and clench his jaw. He brought the glass to his lips and she thought it was solely to stop himself from saying something else.

“You know why,” she said quietly and gave him a knowing look that stayed steady between them until they were joined by the unintended third wheel.

“Hey! Did I miss anything?” Rob said and plopped down into his seat, his beer now completely saturated in condensation from sitting untouched.

“Nope,” Y/N said and leaned back in her chair, “Jay and I were just catching up. By the way, fun concert tonight. You boys rock out like that at every one of these conventions?”

“We do,” Rob smiled, “It’s usually a really good time. You need to start coming to more of them, you fit right in up there. If you’re up for it, that is. I mean, you and Bri sounded amazing together. That should happen more. Right, Jensen? Maybe I should grab her and Bri, then we take this act on the road?” He wiggled his eyebrows and playfully draped an arm over Y/N’s shoulders, drawing her into his side.

Jensen opened his mouth to respond and the lights of the bar dimmed, before settling into a hazy ambiance. The duo took to the stage again and picked up their instruments for another set of four songs. While they played, Y/N took out her phone and zoomed in to record them play. She took less than thirty seconds of video before tucking it away.

“What’s that for?” Rob leaned in and whispered.

“I’ve been taking videos and pictures of all the acts so far, to put them out on the social media accounts. The followers have been growing a lot. I’m hoping that by the time the pre-sale starts next month, all the final acts will be in place and tickets will go fast once they get a look at the lineup and diversity of the acts.”

“Smart girl,” Rob mused before leaning back in his seat.

As their second set played on, they transitioned into a cover of [Etta James’ Misty Blue](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F4YCtZZOGZ3zh0LmiVbkz47%3Fsi%3DpL7rsvgZQ3uJ14tDGo4WTA&t=NDM3MmQxYWRmNWZjMjBlNWUwNWNmMWEyZWJmN2JlMWJiMGM5MzVjMSw5c1dlTTIwZg%3D%3D&b=t%3AnhKxeIEmJIrTLZjcVkg3iQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcoffee-obsessed-writer.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F184770532052%2Fwhen-you-least-expect-it-part-eight&m=0). Y/N knew it almost instantly. It was one of those songs that immediately conjured up memory and not necessarily ones that she wanted to have present. Her initial reaction was that she wouldn’t let the memories of the song hit her like a tidal wave. But by the time the first few lines were sung, she was already being pushed underwater.

“Do you guys want another round?” she asked in a hushed whisper, suddenly desperate to get up and move around.

“Sure, but I ca–”

She waved Rob to sit. “I’ll go.”

Y/N didn’t wait and left the table in a hurry, headed towards the bar. She wanted to leave the club completely, but it was only one song. She just needed a moment to herself and she would be able to push away the memories of her father playing it on repeat after her mother left. Y/N didn’t want to think about how he would sit on the couch, staring out of the window at the ocean, most liking wishing he was out on the sea, instead of in the house he had shared with the woman he loved.

Somewhere around the second chorus, Y/N had realized that she wasn’t standing alone at the end of the bar, Jensen now standing next to her, reaching out to take her hand.

“Hey, you ok?”

Y/N nodded her head but then chuckled. “Yeah, I’m just being stupid.”

He watched her carefully and could see she was far from the truth. “What’s wrong? Something is clearly wrong.”

“It’s the song. Just… reminds me of–”

“The ex?”

“No… not at all. My dad, actually.”

“Oh,” Jensen breathed and pulled out the stool next to her and guided her to sit.

He stood right at her side and motioned to the bartender to bring over another round. When he looked back down at her, he wanted to offer some kind of comfort but wasn’t sure where the boundaries had been set. “Do you wanna get out of here? We can take a walk, or…”

“No,” she replied again, but this time gazed up at him and was struck by how suddenly grateful she was that he was there. She didn’t talk to many people about her dad, yet she felt comfortable sharing things about him with Jensen. “The messed up part is I love the song. But after my mom left, he played it repeatedly for months. He and my brother would fight about it constantly. Then Dave started being home less often, then eventually took off for good. I mean, it wasn’t  _just_  the song, obviously. They butted heads over everything.”

“What about you?”Jensen asked, just as the beer was left for them on the bar top. “Did it bother you?”

“Not then, no. I knew it was what he needed to work through it. That’s just how my dad was. I learned from an early age that music was how he dealt with stuff. Whenever he had a problem, or got hurt, or felt angry he would go to music. He was a man of few words, but you always knew what kind of mood he was in by what was playing in the house.”

Y/N sighed at his memory, and as the song she both loved and hated came to an end, she felt Jensen rest his hand on the middle of her back, gently gliding his thumb back and forth over the fabric of her shirt. She liked the warmth and weight of it against her and silently hoped he stayed just where he was. It was inviting. It soothed her enough so as she sat in the dimly lit corner of Rosa’s Lounge, she felt ready to trust him a little more.

 _What’s the worst that could happen?_  She asked herself.  _I end up singing Joy to the World, right, daddy?_

“One time, my brother had stormed out after dinner, so my dad sat out on the bench and killed a six-pack. He had this on repeat, of course. I remember going out there and sitting on the bench with him. I wanted to ask him so many questions, but I could tell he just wanted to sit quietly. Then he started to sing along with it. And I mean, his eyes closed, a few tears in his eyes, and just this look of pure anguish, you know? He was ripe for a country song to be written about him.”

“Oh yeah, I know the look,” Jensen said.

“It was one of the few times I’d seen him cry. He sang through a verse and a chorus and then finally remembered I was there.” Y/N stopped and drank her new beer, and felt his hand still there only now slowly working its way to the small of her back. “I guess over time I just realized that music could talk for those would didn’t have the words to express how they felt.”

Y/N felt like she was rambling on and bit her lip to stop talking. Taking a gulp of the beer, she felt a sense of relief when they came to the end of Misty Blue and picked up the melody of some old Muddy Waters tune.

“I never thought of it that way, but you’re right. That’s how it was for your dad?”

Y/N nodded. “Me too, actually. As you’ve experienced, I’m not a great communicator,” she chuckled nervously and raised her glass before taking a sip.

“Oh, I dunno,” he said with a slight shrug. “I think you’re doing just fine.”

Y/N turned her head to look at him. His features looked drawn and tired, but his eyes were alive with something she couldn’t quite place. Being close to him again, and not just in proximity, but opening up about things that were very personal to her satisfied a need she didn’t even realize she had. Though he looked weary, he looked happy.

“You look beat. You should have gone back to the hotel to sleep.”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

“Never.”

“Good. I mean you’re not wrong. I’m fucking beat. But I wanted to come out with you guys tonight. I really did miss having you around, Y/N.”

“I think we got what we needed. We can call it a night. You have another long day tomorrow, right?”

“Eh, I’ll be fine. I’m used to these schedules by now,” he waved her off and ran his fingers along the rim of his glass. “Besides, we were talking about you, not me.”

“I would rather talk about you. Are you sleeping enough? Traveling too much? Please tell me you’re not just gorging on Sow burgers and beer every day, are you?” she asked sternly, though Jensen could easily see through her facade and sarcasm. She was asking because she cared and wanted to know he was taking care of himself.

“Yes ma’am. I am well rested, hydrated, and have even been eating my veggies.” He was teasing her now.

“Don’t give me that look. Someone’s gotta make sure you’re taken care of.”

Jensen smiled and looked up through the bar, watched the blues duo play for a beat before turning back to Y/N. “That’s your job, is it?”

Y/N shrugged, then changed the subject. “You coming out with us tomorrow night, too?”

“Do you need me to?”

“No. Not necessarily.”

“Oh,” he sighed, the disappointment oozing from that single word.

“But… I’d like you to. You certainly make it more fun.”

The band wrapped the last song, and as the applause rippled through the small club, they unstrapped their guitars and stood for a final bow. Y/N and Jensen watched Robbie weave his way through the crowd and grabbed Bell and Smith before they disappeared.

“He’s making his move,” Jensen whispered loudly, leaning in closer to her as they watched Robbie work from a distance.

“He’s good though,” she said and met him halfway, their shoulders now butting up against each other as they watched their friend try to sell the duo on the festival. “He’s like one of those sorta sketchy car salesmen. You know you’re gonna get a car–”

“But at what cost?” Jensen finished and gave her a look of overly dramatic worry.

They both broke out into a fit of giggles, the kind that comes when you are overly tired and had maybe one drink too many. A moment later they saw Robbie give one of them his business card, and shake both their hands. He turned and saw Y/N and Jensen watching, looking thick as thieves, and he gave them a quick double thumbs up before working his way back towards them.

“Ha ha! That’s my boy!” Jensen cheered and turned to high five Y/N. “Come oooonn, don’t leave me hanging here!”

Rolling her eyes at him, Y/N gave him a high five, but Jensen didn’t let her hand go when she smacked his palm. She went to pull her hand back, but he held onto for a moment or two and locked eyes with her. The way he was staring into her, triggered a rush of feeling that went from nervous, to excited, to petrified, back to nervous, all within a matter of seconds. Finally settling on exhilarated, she still tried to pull her hand from him again. This time, he relented and rested his hand on his knee. He swallowed hard, biting down on his lower lip, trying to find the right words to what he wanted to say.

It set free the butterflies again.  _When will that stop happening?_  she asked herself in a desperate plea. But of course, none came. She knew that there was no denying it anymore. Jensen made her feel alive. Just a brush of his hand and the way his green eyes latched on to her made her realize that she was a fool. She had to be an idiot to think that she could come back and just be good friends with him. She was falling, hard. He certainly wasn’t making it difficult for her though. One twitch of his smile was really all it took for Y/N to fall right back into where she had been on New Year’s Eve just as he was about to kiss her.

Somewhere, he must have found the words he was looking for because he took a deep breath, and reached out to take her hand in his. Y/N didn’t fight him on it. Instead, she let him and even leaned in a little closer when he held her fingers and interlaced them into his own. He was just barely gliding his thumb across the side of her hand when once again, Rob’s timing, or maybe it was just Jensen’s bad luck, interrupted it.

“That went super well,” Rob laughed with a little chuckle. “They are very interested and will be getting in touch with you, my dear,” he paused and patted Y/N’s shoulder, “within the next few days.”

“That’s fantastic, Robbie! They were really good and I think they’ll fit right in at the stage we have in Zilker Park.”

“Yeah, we’re killing it! Tomorrow should be a breeze, too. This band, they’re so cool, very punk. The variety we’ve been able to grab–”

“Cause you flash those baby blues and just reel everyone in, Robert,” Y/N mused dreamily.

“Aw, now stop. You’re gonna make me blush,” Rob laughed and played coy. That’s when he finally noticed Jensen was holding Y/N’s hand and he realized he interrupted something, again. “Oh, well, uh, I’m wiped out. So, I’m gonna get a taxi back to the hotel. You two feel free to stay, and–”

“No, I’m ready to crash, too,” she said and started to stand up from the stool, removing her hand from Jensen’s to stifle a yawn. She was dying to know what he wanted to say, but it was late and exhaustion was setting in. Now that they were back to being….  _whatever_ , again, there was plenty of time to talk after she caught up from the jet lag and got some rest.

“Rob, why don’t you grab a taxi and I’ll settle the tab,” Jensen said as he stood up and pulled his wallet out from his back pocket.

“Sounds good, meet you out front in a minute.” Rob gave Y/N a friendly wink and headed off to get them a ride back to the hotel.

Jensen settled up with the bartender and turned to find Y/N stand there waiting for him.

“Ready, Hollywood?” She held out her hand for him to take, a delicate smile on her lips. Jensen noticed the exhaustion set into her features; her eyes were lilted and sleepy, and yet she still radiated this energy he found himself becoming addicted too. Though he desperately wanted to ask her what he almost had the chance to, he could see that it wasn’t the right time and that it could wait.

Taking her hand, and lacing their fingers together, Jensen led her through the crowded club, keeping her close, until they reached the noisy streets of Chicago and slid into the backseat of the cab Robbie flagged down. As they all shared the backseat, Y/N felt her eyelids get heavy and desperate to close. She rested her head on Jensen’s shoulder, and let them slowly flutter shut.

From her other side, Robbie glanced over and watched them for a moment out of the corner of his eye. Y/N was lightly dozing on Jensen’s shoulder, and the look of serenity on his friend’s face made Robbie realize that there was way more going on between these two people than meets the eye. Whatever bond was forming between Jensen and Y/N, Robbie knew it was special.

Y/N woke sometime around nine the next morning. There were about fifteen minutes before opening her eyes and the jarring knock at the door, where she was able to just stare at the ceiling, holding back a smile and reminiscing about the night before.

 _Jensen…_  her mind was going back to him quite frequently. Finally feeling like they were truly past the bullshit and indecisiveness, she allowed herself to enjoy being with him at Rosa’s Lounge. Opening up more about her dad left her feeling slightly raw, but the way he just listened, then let her change the subject without a million questions… to anyone else it may feel like nothing, but to her, that simple action meant the world to her. For Y/N, it had been rare to find anyone that was willing to let her ramble about personal matters and just listen. No advice. No judgment. Just an ear to listen.

When they had returned to the hotel, he walked her to her room and gave her a long hug; the kind that you slip into and never want to leave. However, exhaustion and the threat of an early day made him release her and say a final good night.

As Y/N stretched in her hotel bed, she brought her hands to rest behind her head and felt her lips pull into a chased smile at the thought of him. She lightly chewed her bottom lip as she cycled through the evening again. Mostly, she reflected on how close he had been standing by her at the bar, how he had watched her as she talked about her dad, and especially how he felt as she rested on his shoulder as they rode back in the taxi.

Just before she was forced from the bed, she heard her phone vibrate on the table to her left. Rolling over to grab it, she saw several missed text messages. Y/N scrolled through and looked at the one from Jensen first.

>> _Mornin’ Trix. Last night was fun. Looking forward to doing it again tonight. Hope your day is ok. Maybe I’ll get lucky and run into you somewhere ;)_

It was a simple text, but it showed her he had been thinking of her that morning. Y/N couldn’t help but wonder how often she crossed his mind.  Jensen had made no attempt to hide that he enjoyed her company. Since they had their reconciliation as it were, he’d been exceptionally close, always finding a way to be near or be touching her. Not that she minded terribly. She loved being close to him and relished how easily they slipped back into their easy banter.

She moved to the next text from Bri and barely started reading when that knock came at her door. Kicking off the sheets, Y/N tossed her phone down on the bed and threw on a sweatshirt over her pajama top to go see who was at the door. Looking through the peephole, she chuckled to herself when she saw Bri at the door, two tall styrofoam cups in her hand, and a white paper bag dangling from her teeth.

Y/N quickly unlatched the door and opened it, taking the bag from Bri’s teeth. “Wow, wake up call and you come bearing treats. Did we just become best friends?” she teased and knew that Bri rolled her eyes regardless of the fact that she still had her sunglasses on.

“Too late,” she sighed and placed the cups down on the shelf by the television. “I already have a best friend. Or I thought I did. Until I found out that she went to the club with the boy she’s pining after and didn’t tell me! Not even a text message!?” Bri put her hands on her hips, her lips in a full pout. “How could you let me find out from Robbie that you and Jensen were all snuggly last night?!”

Y/N went to take one of the coffees and Bri smacked her hand away.

“Nope! No caffeine for you until you tell me everything!”

“I can’t be expected to recount details without coffee, Briana. That’s just cruel.”

Bri let her sunglasses fall to the tip of her nose and narrowed her eyes over top of them at Y/N. “Fine. Caffeinate and speak quickly. I have a panel in an hour and I ain’t leaving ‘til you tell me what happened!”

Y/N was allowed one of the take out cups and drank it gratefully. “I honestly don’t know what Rob could have told you. It’s not like anything big happened.”

“According to Mr. Benedict, he saw you holding Jensen’s hand at the bar, then you fell asleep on him on the way back to the hotel. True?”

“Yeah,” she said, trying to play it off as no big deal. “So?”

“So?! I swear, I could just–after how you two left things? Then, less than a few hours after hashing shit out, y’all are just being all cutesy again?? Do you understand what that means?”

“Yes, that we’re good friends and care enough about each other to talk things out.”

“Friends my ass. That man has a thing for you. Big time. Are you being purposely obtuse? Or is this a self-protection tactic?” Bri asked, her expression conveying that this was a serious question.

“I’m not…” she trailed off and stalled by sipping her coffee. Bri’s eyes were watching her closely and she knew that she would not be able to bullshit her way out of this. “…ok, maybe it’s a little bit of a self-protection tactic.”

“Alright, that’s a start. Now tell me why? What do you have to protect yourself from? Jensen is a good guy. He would be amazing to you and I can promise you, this is more than just a sex thing for him.”

“You know what I love most about you Briana? You’re blunt as hell.”

“Should I sugar coat it?”

“No,” Y/N laughed and reached for the pastry bag Bri had brought with her. Pulling out a donut, she sank her teeth into it and sat back down on her bed. “I’d never ask you to do that. I guess I just need to be sure it’s more than just attraction. I can see he’s a good guy. And, fuck… just look at him; he’s gorgeous. I’m not denying I like him, Bri. I think about him all the time. I’m just still hesitant about completely going for it. You know?”

“No, I don’t actually. But, I also have a much different history than you and understand that makes a big difference.” Bri sighed, but in a way that let Y/N know she was sympathetic to her plight. “Speaking of  _history_ … Has Nathan been calling? Is he still a reason to be hesitant?”

“Yes, he still calls and texts, but no, he’s not a reason–well, not directly a reason–that I want to take things slow with Jensen. I went through a lot with Nate. Not all good. Not all bad, either. I realized that romantically, there’s nothing left there. But I also realized that I need to not gamble with things right now. Work first, festival above all else. After that, should things get more serious, I feel like I could let that happen.”

“I get that, honey, but that’s still months away. You mean to tell me that between then and now, you’re going to spend all this time with Jensen, and not want to just…” Bri smiled like someone just told her a devilish secret and she growled playfully while grabbing at the air with her hands and pulling an invisible force to her, that Y/N could only assume was supposed to be Jensen. “Tell me, how does one resist that smile and those eyes?”

Y/N exhaled deeply and slowly shook her head. “I have no fucking idea. If I can figure it out, I’ll let you know. Until then, I’m just gonna–”

“Concentrate on work… yeah, yeah…”

“Moving on,” Y/N said, directing the conversation elsewhere and wiped the crumbs from her hands. “Plans for the day? And are you joining us tonight?”

“Panels and photo ops mostly, and damn straight I’m coming tonight! When does the party train leave the station?”

“Thinking around eight. Maybe we can grab some dinner, first.”

“Sounds good to me. And you? Plans for today?” she asked.

“I was thinking of checking out one of the guys’ panels.”

“Oh really? Any  _guys_ in particular?”

Y/N sighed. “Briana. I love you but go to work. I need to shower and get dressed.”

“Fine. I will see you at some point I’m sure. You’re welcome, for the coffee, by the way.”

“Thank you, Briiii,” Y/N sang out at her friend.

“Yeah… thank me by getting over yourself and wear something super cute today. I love seeing Jensen all flustered.” She giggled and raised her eyebrow. “Damn, do I…” she trailed off for a moment, lost in some delicious daydream, then shook it off and gave Y/N a wave before heading towards the door.  

“I’ll do my best,” she laughed and waved back as Bri left the room.

Y/N left her coffee cup on the nightstand and went about choosing clothes for the day and getting ready to shower. She forgot about the phone on the bed, with several text messages still unread, as well as forgetting to respond to Jensen’s message.

It was almost an hour later before she picked up her phone again. Y/N had just finished putting on her dark blue jeans and a black tank top with the pink flowers and slipped her denim jacket over it when she picked the phone up from the bed. Now, she had another three messages waiting for her, and without even noticing who the others were from, she clicked on Jensen’s name first.

>> _Where are you? Thought for sure I’d find you in the green room working with Rob. Here for another 20. Come down if you can._

Y/N checked the time stamp and saw it was from just a minute or two ago. She smiled to herself and tucked the phone into her back pocket before grabbing her small purse. She was almost out the door before she realized she had forgotten to put her necklace back on. Y/N retrieved it from the dresser and gently put it around her neck, making sure it was clasped firmly.

She caught sight of herself in the mirror then and saw the small guitar-shaped pendant laying against her chest. A flicker of something warm started to bubble up in her gut, and she wondered if Bri was right after all. Just thinking about Jensen made her feel a certain kind of way. Would she really be able to not take whatever was happening between them any further? She flashed on how much she loved being close to him the night before and how good he felt at her side.

“You got this,” she muttered into the mirror, before fixing her jacket, and adjusting the charm. One last deep breath and Y/N left her room behind to seek out Jensen in the green room.

When Y/N reached the green room, it was buzzing with activity. Familiar faces were scattered throughout the room, people paired off in conversation, assistants pouring over schedules and notes, and a few of the convention directors and hotel staff floating around.

She couldn’t find him at first and felt a bout of disappointment. But then, off in the corner, she heard him laugh. She loved how he sounded when he really let go, and something Richard had said really struck him as funny. Y/N just stood there for a moment, and despite the chaos of the room, she honed her attention in on him. He was dressed in a gray button-up shirt with a maroon colored zip-up hoodie over top with a pair of khaki pants, and Y/N took a moment to appreciate how well put together he looked.

As if he sensed her presence, he turned and looked directly at her. The smile from his previous humor faded into a different kind of expression altogether. Keeping his gaze on her, he said something to Richard, patted his shoulder, and headed straight towards her.

“You made it!” he said excitedly with his arms stretched open, then hugged her. No one was really paying attention to them, but if they had, they would have seen an embrace last a few beats more than a friendly hug should. “Wasn’t sure I’d get to see you this morning.”

“Miss me, did ya?” she asked with a raise of her brow.

“Always… but also, last night I got to thinking–”

She made a  _‘yikes’_  expression and he laughed mockingly, understanding her silent joke and rolling his eyes. “You’re hilarious. You know that?”

Y/N shrugged one shoulder. “So I’ve been told. Now, what were you thinking?”

“Since you asked so nicely, I thought–”

Interrupted again, this time by his cell phone ringing, Jensen sighed and reached into his pocket. One look at the caller ID and his brow furrowed before chancing a quick glance up at Y/N. Jensen took a moment to consider whatever was on his mind, and then sent the call to voicemail.

Y/N watched him curiously. He seemed completely thrown off now, his body tensed, his brow wrinkled in contemplation. She noticed him shifting his weight between his legs, and thought he seemed anxious and distracted.

“Everything alright?” she asked.

“Um, yeah. Things are–fine. Things are totally… fine.” He trailed off and exhaled, his breath shaky which confirmed to Y/N Jensen had suddenly grown nervous.

“Oh yeah, this is your fine face…” she snarked. When he didn’t react to her quip, she understood that he had something mildly serious on his mind. Y/N reached out and rested her hand on his wrist not holding the phone, hoping it would bring his attention back from wherever it was. “Hey, seriously, if something’s wrong–”

He took a moment to put his cell away, then drew in a deep breath, and looked around to see if anyone was close to being within earshot. Most of the stragglers in the green room were held up in their own conversations, so he looked back to her and exhaled.

“It was Dee,” he said bluntly. “We talk from time to time. She called me a few days after New Year’s and apologized if you can believe that.”

Y/N felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. In all her confusion over her feelings for Jensen and resolving feelings for Nate, she never once considered that  _Jensen’s_  ex could come back into the picture.

She swallowed hard and tried to steady her voice so it wasn’t as unsteady as she felt it may be. “Oh… wow. What did she say?”

“Just that she was sorry for the way she left. That she realized how many friends we still have in common and thought it better to be friends instead of snarky towards each other.”

“Wow… I’m shocked. How–uh, how…” she stumbled in her words and tried to recover by clearing her throat. Y/N didn’t know what to think, or say, really. She didn’t want to appear freaked out, either. She just hoped that Jensen wouldn’t sense how she was vibrating with panic on the inside. She continued, “…how did that make you feel?”

“I don’t know… better, I guess. But anyway, since then, she calls from time to time. Texts, too.”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh to herself at the paralleling irony of Jensen and Dee, and herself with Nate. Though, there was that underlying worry that maybe Jensen and Dee would have a different outcome than she did with Nathan.

“Well, that’s good then,” she said and resisted the urge to cross her arms tightly over her chest and withdrawal from him. “Better to make amends then stay angry, right?”

“Yeah, exactly. So… you’re okay with that? I mean, it doesn’t bother you?” Jensen chewed nervously on his lower lip, and once more looked around to see if anyone was intruding into their space.

“Why would it?” Y/N asked softly.

Jensen exhaled sharply through his nose and took Y/N’s hand. His forehead again creased with worry, but as he cast his green eyes down to her hand in his, his expression slowly morphed into a reflective smile. He brought his gaze back up to her and held it for a beat.

“You know why.”

Y/N felt the panic melt away to the recurring flutter he aroused in many parts of her. Realizing he used her words against her from the night before, a new understanding dawned on her… There was a very real possibility that what was building between them, would be something that could not only work but really last.

The green room door burst open, and a very young, nervous young man with a walkie talkie made his entrance.

“Mr. Ackles? They need you in the photo ops now.”

“Be right there,” Jensen called over his shoulder. He squeezed her hand and winked. “We’ll finish this later?”

Y/N nodded and gave him a soft squeeze back. “Yeah, we will.”

With a satisfied smile on his face, Jensen turned and left green room for his turn in front of the camera.

Y/N spent the rest of the morning working on the schedule for Brewfest or chatting with others that made their way through the green room. She wanted to stay busy, keep her mind focused on work and the list of unending tasks that needed to be accomplished in the next month alone. However, after the night before, and the conversation she had with him that morning, it was Jensen who took the top honor in her thoughts. Something that was becoming quite a habit.

By the afternoon, Y/N had enough of sitting in the green room and took a walk around the convention floor. She wandered into the General Admission area of the ballroom and waited for Jensen and Jared’s panel to start. A few of the guests walked by and whispered to each other when they saw her standing there. It didn’t register at first that they were talking about her until it happened several more times. Even then she felt confused by the attention, and couldn’t imagine what they would be saying.

After another small group walked by and caught sight of her standing against the back wall of the ballroom, she felt self-conscious enough to leave. Remembering that her pass gave her full access, she decided to go watch from backstage. Turning to leave, she was stopped by two young women in their early twenties. Both wearing  _Supernatural_  shirts, flannels over the top and huge smiles on their faces.

“Hi, um, are you Y/F/N L/N?” the one said, nearly fidgeting out of her skin.

Y/N returned the smile cautiously. “Yes, I am. How did–” Then it hit her. In the chaos and excitement of the traveling, talking with Jensen and last night at Rosa’s Lounge, she had completely forgotten she was on stage with them the night before. “You must have been at the concert last night.”

“Yes!” the second girl squealed. “Oh my God! You were so goood! Like, soooo good! And then, when Jensen came up, he like, sang RIGHT to you!”

The girls were throwing question after question at Y/N. She couldn’t keep track of them all and felt like she was watching a tennis match with how she was looking back and forth between them as they asked them in a   succession.

 _“We were freaking out, how did you hold yourself together!?!”_  
“What’s it like working with him?”  
“Are you guys good friends?”  
“Do you sing professionally?”  
“What’s the Brewfest gonna be like?”  
“Will Jensen actually be there?”  
“What was it like singing with Briana?”

“Whoa, girls…” Y/N laughed and tried to reign them in by lightly taking them each by one shoulder. “First off, what are your names?”

“I’m Ashley,” the first girl said, “and this is Marina.”

“It’s so nice to meet both of you! I wish I could stay and answer all of these, but I can’t keep up with you! Um, let me see if I can answer a few… Jensen is great to work with, the festival is going to be an insane amount of fun and I hope you can get down to Austin for it. I do not sing professionally, but that’s the dream one day. Did I catch them all?”

They both laughed and nodded. “Could you sign this for me, please?” Ashley asked, and held out a sharpie and her ticket stub. “If you can’t, I totally understand.”

“Um, sure. I’ve just… no one’s ever asked me for that…” Y/N stuttered, the rush of the encounter was making her head all fuzzy. She took the sharpie, pulled the cap off and signed the girl’s stub; then signed Marina’s. She handed the marker back and then turned the tables on them. “Would you girls mind if I took a picture with you? I’d love to use it on the Brewfest’s Instagram if that’s ok?”

“SERIOUSLY!?” Marina screeched and clapped her hands. “Of course!”

Ashley nodded along enthusiastically and took out her phone to capture a pic of her own. Y/N stood between the two, and turned her cell camera on them, snapping a picture, then waited as Ashley did the same. The lights started to flicker and over the PA system, a familiar voice informed the guests it was time to find their seats because the boys were just about ready.

Y/N thanked the girls for the picture and watched them excitedly wander off to their seats. The lights went dimmed further, and the stage illuminated with an array of lights. Richard came on, mic in hand and easily transitioned into his opening for Jared and Jensen’s panel. Y/N’s eyes scanned the enormous crowd, all cheering for the people she’s now calls her friends, and felt a rush of pride.

 _I get to work and hang out with these people_ , she thought and realized just how lucky she had been to be in the right place at the right time all those months ago.

Y/N was getting lost in a moment of reflection when the room began to vibrate from the rush of applause when Jensen and Jared appeared on the stage. Over the course of the next hour, Y/N leaned against the back wall and observed Jensen in action. She didn’t get to spend much time with Jared yet, but watching him as well, gave her a much deeper look into their dynamic. Which made her feel like she was getting to know a whole different side of Jensen, too. They were both incredibly kind and generous with the fans, taking care to answer each question with consideration, never just dismissing anyone, and causing continuous roars of laughter from the crowd. She liked seeing this side of him and got a fuller picture of how much he and Jared both meant to all of these people.

From deep in her pocket, her cell was buzzing. Seeing the panel was almost over, she took her leave of the ballroom and found a quiet spot to check the notifications. Around the corner from the green room, she found a bench and sat down and proceeded to unlock her screen. Five text messages still waited and one missed call from a number she didn’t know but recognized it as one that calls occasionally though they never leave a voicemail.

The texts were all from Nate, which startled her at first, worried that something had happened back home. But when she opened the messages and saw that they were all innocuous, just him wondering where she was and what she was doing, she sighed in frustration.

There was also one saying he missed her, and that they should catch up soon. The last one though, made her stop and sit up a little straighter. He mentioned possibly coming to Austin and asked her to call him to work out details. She thought if she glossed over it enough, he would take the hint and drop it. But clearly, Nate was determined and she was going to have to tell him it wasn’t a good time.

After she returned to Austin from Chicago, she had to dive headfirst into the next phase of planning for the festival and didn’t have time to play tour guide to Nathan. Ignoring it, for the time being, she tucked the phone back into her pocket and found her way back to the green room to wait for Jensen.

 

Later in the day, when the panels were over and the con came to an end, all the people involved funneled back into the green room. After saying their goodbyes, Y/N, Rob, Jensen, and Bri found themselves ready to break away for dinner and to go see a couple of bands at Reggie’s Rock Club.

They stopped to grab a few slices of Chicago style pizza before they continued on to the venue. They arrived at Reggie’s before the band went on stage, they found a discreet booth to slip into. There was a full house in attendance, and the last thing Jensen and Robbie wanted was to be recognized before they could get through the room.  

The first band took the stage, and as they played through a set of four or five songs, at least three rounds of drinks had come and gone while the four friends sat around the table, discussing event details. Y/N knew the next band to play was the one they were interested in, and excused herself from the table.

“Need a bathroom buddy?” Bri asked.

“No, I’m good, just going to the bar for a better vantage point,” she said and held up her cell phone. “Won’t be long.”

“Bring another round back with ya!” she called out as her friend crossed the room towards the bar. Y/N flashed her a thumbs up over her head to convey she heard the request.

The band came on just as she found an empty place at the end corner of the bar. The room itself was dark and smoky, with barely any ambient lighting, but thought it would be a great backdrop for the video she wanted to shoot. It had a great view to grab some footage for the website and Instagram if the band decided to come aboard. No one too close that would talk over it, and yet she could see get the reaction of the crowd that came out to see them.

Y/N taped about a minute of their first song before she felt someone approach her from behind. She didn’t need to hear or see him to know Jensen standing there.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked and rested his chin on her shoulder. In his right hand, he held his bottle of beer, while his left hand rested on the seat of the stool she was on; half on the cushion, half on the outside of her thigh.

“Shhh… I’m recording,” she giggled; the three rounds of drinks starting to go to her head, or, was it how incredibly close Jensen was to her now? Either way, she was punk drunk and feeling giddy.

“Ohhh, ok,” he replied in a loud whisper. Jensen moved to put his bottle on the bar and resumed the stance he had previously then watched the band through the phone’s camera for another thirty seconds. “You should zoom in a little.”

He reached around and tried to use his thumb and pointer finger to enable the camera zoom. Instead, he hit the filters button and everyone on the screen had dog ears and crazy long tongues.

“Oh shit, wait…” he mumbled while Y/N giggled. “Maybe…” Jensen touched something else on the phone and switched the camera around, so now it was recording them.

“Oh God,” Y/N mused and went to fix it, but Jensen swatted her hand away.

“Whaaat? Leave it, we look cute,” he grinned into the camera, then pressed the camera button that takes a still shot while recording.

“You look cute, especially with the puppy ears,” she teased, and then swatted his hand from the camera when he went to change it.

“Don’t make me bite,” he growled playfully.

Y/N laughed and turned away from looking into the camera’s lens to face him. “You’re drunk.”

She didn’t say it in an accusatory way, but more of a statement of fact, not without a little satisfaction in her tone. His eyes locked in with her, and she found it hard to look away from him. That familiar feeling in her gut, the tingle in the apex of her thighs. Jensen made her feel… dizzy, and she didn’t want it to stop.

“So?” he asked with a smirk and furrowed brow.

She swallowed thickly and tried to calm the pounding of her heart. “So… nothing. You’re cute when you’re drunk.”

“You’re cute… all the time,” he said and snorted a laugh at how cheesy he sounded.

Jensen’s eyes softened on her, his impish grin made his lips look inviting and brought his dimples out of hiding. Somewhere behind them, the band played on, but she barely noticed it. The thumping of her heart and the blood through her veins was all she could hear.

Jensen was so close, when he exhaled a slight breath of air, she felt it against her skin. He was right there, so incredibly close, and she both wanted and feared him to be even closer. She had promised herself that she was done with pretending and that she didn’t regret leaving him on New Year’s. Now here was her chance to truly set things straight and to show him that she was ready to see where this path would lead them.

Tired of living off the one memory of New Year’s Eve, Y/N leaned over and kissed him. She rested her palm gently on the side of his face and gingerly pressed her lips to his. He didn’t pull away but returned it with just as much delicacy as it started. Jensen’s lips parted, one hand on her neck guiding her to stay close to him, but kissed her softly, keeping his will in check and not devouring her the way he wanted too.

Y/N was tentative and careful in how she kissed him, though not for lack of feeling. The moment their lips touched, the urge to let go completely grabbed her; almost to the point of madness. But cooler heads prevailed and she relished in the soft, wanting kiss of a man that drove her to the brink.

The band finished the song, with a dramatic instrumental finish, and the crowded club erupted in applause. The noise of which broke the spell of the moment, but not the feeling it left them both with. When they moved back from each other, Jensen wore a large grin, his face flushed and his breath shaky.

“I was not expecting that,” he said, nervously running his tongue over his lip. “Wanted, yes. Expecting, no.” He drug out the “o” in the last word, and seeing his lips in that formation made Y/N want to kiss him again. She refrained, but it wasn’t easy.

“You wanted to ask me something last night… what was it?”

Jensen stood up straighter and inhaled sharply. He  _had_  wanted to ask her something, but he put it off. Though now felt like as good a time as any.

“I-uh….” he laughed out loud and ran a hand nervously through his hair. “I wanted to ask you, if maybe when we get back to Austin if you would like to go out with me. On like, a real, proper date.”

He smiled at Y/N, but it was all teeth and gums, to which all she could do was laugh at his expression. Jensen dropped the cheesy grin and his demeanor turned suddenly serious. His eyes fixed on her face. “Would you?”

Y/N was breathless at his question, and despite the kiss they just shared, she thought back their conversation earlier that day. “What about Dee?” Y/N asked, but immediately wished she hadn’t.

“What about her?” He looked a little confused, and slightly panicked.

“Maybe she wants another shot? I don’t want to sta–”

“No. I mean, I don’t know, but I don’t care. What I care about, is when we get home… will you go out with me?” Jensen’s gaze was unwavering in its pursuit of her.

“Yes,” she said, almost in a whisper. “However–”

“However?” he repeated nervously and stood up to his full height. “However, what?”

“ _However_ … I want to take this slow, okay? I need to. I don’t wanna fuck this up again.”

“You couldn’t… you  _didn’t_  fuck anything up,” he replied and kissed her quickly, but sweetly. “But whatever you want, Y/N. I’m good with whatever you want.” He caressed the side of her face and felt an easiness settle into his nerves.

“What I want…” she was interrupted by the band going into their next song. “What I want right now, is to grab another round, and go back to the table to hear some music.”

“That can be arranged,” he said with an affirmative nod. “I’ll grab the round, you go back to the table.”

“Don’t you want me to help you carry drinks back?”

“No.” Jensen grinned, the devilish smirk he suddenly wore caused a flutter deep down in the growing warmth between her legs. “I’d rather watch you walk back to the table. That’s a view I can appreciate.”

“What am I going to do with you?” she asked, rolling her eyes at him.

“I already told you, whatever you want,” he grinned slyly and shrugged. “Go on, I’ll meet ya there.”

Y/N turned and walked back towards the table. If anyone called her out on it, she would have denied it, but she felt confident enough in that moment to give her hips a bit more sway, knowing that his eyes were glued to her. Flirting with him was fun, and knowing his interest in her hadn’t waned after New Years, she planned on continuing to do it as often as she could.

When she reached the table and slid back into the booth, Robbie and Bri were huddled together looking thick as thieves. Y/N eyed them suspiciously as they snickered and giggled like children over a secret they were dying to share.

“What?” Y/N asked, looking between them.

“Nothing,” Bri said and cast a sideways glance at Robbie, who picked up his empty beer and pretended to take a sip.

A moment later Jensen returned, passed out the bottles around the table and slid in the booth next to Y/N. He raised his bottle in cheers, the others following suit, all letting the lips of the bottles clank together. There was an odd vibe around the table that Y/N and Jensen couldn’t quite understand. Just as Jensen took a sip from his beer, and Y/N was about to ask what was going on, Bri finally blurted it out.

“WE SAW YOU KISS!” she exclaimed, then immediately bit her lip and covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.

Jensen’s beer nearly spat across the table, but he managed to keep it in. Y/N felt immediately flushed with embarrassment, but once she saw the happy grin on Jensen’s face, and how excited Bri and Robbie seemed to be, she felt it quickly fade.

Trying to play it cool, she took a sip from her beer, and placed it back on the table, then turned towards Jensen. “Did we?”

“Hmm. I don’t know, maybe?” Jensen said, his face shrugging into a frown. “I was watching the band, so…”

Bri and Robbie’s excitement wavered for a moment until she just shook her head in frustration and sighed deeply. “I just wanna say, for the record, I hate you both, and think you were made in Hell for each other. Honestly.” She put her hands up in a gesture of surrender.

Y/N giggled, and it triggered a round of laughter to fill the booth. That’s when Y/N felt Jensen slip his hand into hers beneath the table. He didn’t grasp it tightly, but caressed it softly, tracing the lines of her fingers from her fingertips to the wrist, then around to her palm. Finally, he threaded his fingers through hers and held her hand for the rest of the night.

Later, when the business of the evening had been done and the foursome arrived back at the hotel, Jensen walked her to her room like he had the night before. Only this time, he kissed her goodnight before leaving her to go back to his own room. For a moment, she thought of asking him to stay, then realized that if there really was going to be any longevity to whatever this was with Jensen, she needed to stay the course going slow and steady.

The smell of his mother’s crock pot dinner cooking drove Nathan from the living room and into his childhood bedroom. He closed the door and sat on the edge of his bed with a disgruntled sigh. He looked around the walls of the room and cringed at what he saw there. So many reminders of life from long ago he’d prefer not to remember. He hated being back in this house… in this room. But it was what he had to do if he wanted to get his OTHER life back.

The progression of his thoughts led him to wonder if Y/N had texted him back yet. He knew she had been traveling, so he didn’t want to call too much and decided to text instead. There was no response from her Saturday night or any time on Sunday which frustrated him. He was proud of her and the work she was doing, even if it took her away. He would just have to be patient now that he was back in town. Then she would be home once the festival was over, and they could  _really_  try again.

Or at least that is what Nathan hoped for.

He took the phone off the nightstand where it had been charging and saw there was still no response from Y/N. It was Monday night, and nothing from her for an entire weekend of texts. Nathan tried to remember where she had said she was going to be… Boston? Chicago? Seattle? There had been so much traveling over the last month or so he had trouble remembering where she was. Then, he suddenly panicked that maybe she had been hurt.

Going to the browser to search, he put in her name, along with each of the cities. No hits on Boston or Seattle. But when Nathan searched for Y/N’s name and Chicago, he got a hit. The headlines didn’t tell him much of anything, so he navigated to the images, and that’s when he saw her. Y/N pictured on a stage singing with a blonde woman and a guy playing guitar right behind them.

He clicked on it.

It was then Nathan found himself looking through a slew of posts about a convention in Chicago. Confused at first, he saw the name of one of the stars and recognized it as Y/N’s boss, Jensen Ackles. He scrolled until he found a link to a video of the actual concert where the still image was taken from. The video was further along, and the band was playing a cover of a Steve Miller song, ‘The Joker’. Y/N was on the stage, off to the right side, and halfway through the song, Jensen came out on the stage and made the roar of the audience so loud in the tinny speaker of his phone, he had to turn it down.

The more he watched the video, the more enraged he became. By the time the song was over, and he had watched as this Jensen guy put his arm around Y/N’s shoulders, his blood was boiling.

Y/N was his girl. Y/N had been his girl since they were twelve years old. Just because there were bumps in the road, didn’t mean that their road would end. He was fixing it, and she needed time to believe him. So why the hell was she off with this guy and why was he singing to her like he had the right too?

Furious, it took all his self-control not to throw his phone against the wall. He didn’t need to deal with his mother coming in and grilling him with questions. Instead, he went back to his search tab and typed in  _Jensen Ackles_. If he was going to keep his girl, he needed to understand his enemy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as they decide to finally take this whole crush thing to a new place, people from their pasts like to pop in and cause some trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics NOT written by me in bold, italic. That honor belongs to the wonderful April Smith and The Great Picture Show. Song is on the playlist and I highly suggest checking it out. Its a great tune.
> 
> Chapter Warnings: Language, Mild Violence, Floof, PDA

Jensen woke up that morning with a smile. For the end of May, it was already hot in Austin, and the humidity wasn’t exactly being easy on the people who lived there. It was barely nine and he could already see the heaviness in the air. It didn’t phase him one bit because in the next two hours he would be heading over to the townhouse to spend the day with Y/N, Robbie, and Jason. They had planned a full-on day of just working and brainstorming on the best way to go about arranging the schedule of bands, where each one would be playing and for how long.

It wasn’t an easy task, as many of them were traveling into Austin for one day. Y/N had already taken care of all that and even arranged for a shuttle service to take the acts to and from the venues to hotels, airports, or even the local convenience store—wherever it was they needed to go. They were giving their time and talent for a worthy cause, so if there was something she could do to make their stay more comfortable, she was more than willing to do it.

It was little things like that, that made her a good partner on the event, but it was also those traits that made him look at her with hearts in his eyes and butterflies in his stomach. Her mind had a way of working and problem solving it like he’d never seen before. She wasn’t just thorough with following through, she took steps above and beyond what would be expected and consistently blew his mind.

On today’s agenda, the schedules would be finalized, and he could finally talk to her about the music she would be doing over the course of the weekend. That was what started all this, after all. Watching her play at the Beachcomber, seeing her play on New Year’s Eve, singing at the convention—Jensen knew this festival would not be complete unless Y/N took the stage. If he could convince her to sing with him as well? Even better.  

It didn’t take more than an hour for him to be ready to go. As he showered and dressed for the day, he rehearsed a hundred different ways to approach Y/N about performing. He had brought it up casually in the weeks since they were in Chicago, but she always found a way to change the subject or just blow him off completely. Today, he was determined to get her to agree to getting on one of the stages and sharing her gift with the crowd.

Keys in hand, Jensen was heading for the door when there was a knock at it, quickly followed by the door opening. Jensen was about to go off when he saw Jared come through.

“Hey! You here?” Jared called out, then spotted Jensen standing off to the side.

“Uh, yeah. Right here,” he chuckled. “What are you doing here? Thought you were heading out for a road trip with Gen and the munchkins.”

“We are. Leaving later this afternoon, I just had to talk to you real quick so I told her I had to run a quick errand.”

“So, you’re lying to Gen about coming here? Has she been reading fanfiction again? She worried there’s some, uh, frisky business…” Jensen motioned back and forth between him and Jared but kept a straight face.

Jared rolled his eyes. “No, you jackass. But she was talking with Dee yesterday at the house.”

Jensen was a little taken back by his statement. “Uh. Ok. So?”

“So? Dude, I knew Dee had been calling and shit since New Year’s, but you didn’t tell me she and what’s-his-face broke up. She made it sound like you two were getting close again and she was interested in reconciling. So, what gives?”

Jensen didn’t know what to say to that. He stammered and then started to pace from the entryway into the living room. He tossed the keys he had in his hand onto the coffee table and turned back to Jared.

“She said what now?”

“All I heard was that she and that guy broke up a couple weeks ago and that she’s been talking to you every day. Is she?”

“She texts me a lot. But it’s stupid shit, mostly. Not like we’ve been  _talking_ talking. What did she say, exactly?”

“I didn’t hear all of it, and when I walked in Dee clammed up. But, from what I could hear, your name along with the word ‘ _reconciliation_ ’ was being tossed around.”

Jensen groaned a deep sigh and exhaled. “This is just aces. What the hell is she thinking?”

“So, you’re not, then? You and Dee aren’t—”

“No! No way. I haven’t thought about her like that in a long time. Especially after New Year’s.”

“Because she was there with her new man—ex-new-man,” Jared mumbled to himself, then waved it off. “OR is it because of Y/N?”

“Honestly, both? I guess…” Jensen shrugged.

This was all news to him and news he wasn’t exactly happy to hear. Y/N had her issues with an ex, now it was going to be his turn? It was bad enough that weeks had passed since he asked Y/N out on a proper date, but their schedules just hadn’t allowed for it to happen yet. Now, there was another potential roadblock that he wanted to prevent as quickly possible.

“Whatever you do, you didn’t hear this from me, alright? Gen and I have had enough conversations about you and Dee. No offense, but I just don’t need to go another round.”

“Hey, I get it completely. I’m sorry you had to catch some of the fall out from that.”

“It was bound to happen. Just for the record, Gen doesn’t have a vested interest either way. Not like she’s on Dee’s side waving pom-poms just because they’re friends.”

“Even if she was, she’s rooting for the losing team. I will always care about Dee, but the breakup happened for a reason. Took a while, but I am seeing what the reason is now.”

“Y/N?”

Jensen smiled, and that flutter of butterflies kicked up in his stomach. “Yeah. Because of Y/N.”

Jared considered it for a minute and nodded. “Despite the miscommunication debacle, you do seem pretty damn happy since you met her.”

“Because I am, man. She just makes me feel good. It’s going slow, but, slow is good.

“How slow?” Jared asked, his expression wrought with curiosity.

“Slow. Very,  _very_  slow. But… it’s okay. It’s good. Means maybe it will work out.”

“Well, well… look at who’s being Mr. Level-Headed. Didn’t think you had it in you, to be honest.” Jared was trying his best to control his grin as he continued taking shots at his best friend.

“Don’t you have a trip to go on?” Jensen asked, then looked at his watch and back up at Jared with a deadpan gaze.

“Seriously! I mean, you freaked when Dee left. Completely overreacted and created this larger than life project. Didn’t you buy like, twenty pair of cowboy boots—”

“Alright, alright… thanks for the info and painful reminders, you can go now.” Jensen hurriedly tried to usher Jared towards the door. “Come on Paul Revere, you delivered the news. Time to ride off now. I got places to be.”

“Y/N’s?”

“Yes, now go.”

“You’re gonna talk to Dee?” Jared asked before he was pushed out of the door completely.

“Yes. I promise. I’m not lookin’ for a fatal attraction situation here, okay? I will speak to her and  _not_  bring you into it. Happy?”

“Blissfully. Tell Y/N I said hey. I’ll call you when we’re back.”

“Alright mom,” Jensen smiled and waved as Jared walked towards his car in the driveway, flipping him the middle finger as he went.

Jensen closed the door and went back into the house. He didn’t want Jared to see the mild panic at what he had told him, but there was some anxiety growing. When Dee had first reached out, Jensen was glad to have smoothed things over with her. Being friends again seemed like an achievable goal, and he didn’t even care anymore that she was with someone else. In the time between New Years and seeing Y/N again in Chicago, Jensen became hyper-aware that his fascination with the songstress from Seaside was more than just a fix for his loneliness. She was way more.

By the time they were in Chicago, and Y/N seemed just as happy to see him as he was her, it felt like a given that Dee was just an old friend, and their communication reflected that. Y/N was his focus, aside from the festival. Rekindling whatever he had with Dee was the furthest thing on his mind.

He debated on calling Dee then, but he didn’t want to bring Jared into it, so he thought it best to wait until Dee contacted him first. Then, it would give him time to figure out the best way to broach the subject of her possible intentions without it feeling like an attack. A provoked Dee was not a happy Dee.

Just as he was about to reach for his keys and head out the door, his phone vibrated from within his pocket. Almost afraid to see who it was, he slowly pulled it out and looked at the screen. When it was Y/N’s name and not Dee’s, he smiled with relief and tapped the message icon.

>> _Please hurry. Robbie is playing a harmonica while Jason is playing a kazoo and doing a jig. I cannot be the only person to witness this chaos. HURRY!_

<< _I’m gonna need video evidence. It’s great for blackmail. On my way._

Jensen was able to get across town and be at Y/N’s complex in less than thirty minutes. As he approached the front door, he felt a twinge of anxiety. It only took a moment to realize that it was related to what he and Jared had talked about that morning, mixed with the understanding that he would have to tell Y/N about it.

He had to, right?  _Yes,_  he thought as he was only steps from the door,  _I don’t wanna fuck this up. Be straight up with her. She’ll understand._

Back when he had been with Dee, he always second-guessed himself. He would mull over a thousand different questions and had even more moments where he doubted what he thought or felt in regard to Dee. Jensen had no doubts now. He knew that Y/N would be understanding of the situation, and he realized that none of those past insecurities were coming up. Having that kind of confidence in not only himself, but in Y/N, made him even more determined to be upfront with her as soon as possible.

He knocked but could hear the music muffled coming from the third floor. Since she had come back from New Jersey, Y/N transformed the third floor of the townhouse not just into her office, but into space where people could jam, pick at guitars, or just sit quietly and enjoy the view of the river. The sound of guitars and yes, even a kazoo, floated down from the open window making Jensen smile. He went to knock again when the door pulled open, and Y/N’s face greeted him.

There was a split second where he just stared at her. She was radiant, and the heat of the day didn’t look to bother her one bit. Her hair was swept up off her neck in a messy bun, and around it lay the charm he had given her for Christmas. Y/N looked like she had just rolled out of bed, still in an old Pink Floyd concert T-shirt that had been modified into a tank top, and black pajama shorts that exposed a good amount of her legs. Y/N wasn’t wearing a drop of makeup. It was the most natural he had ever seen her, and by far, her most beautiful look yet.

“Don’t just stand there, hurry or you’ll miss it!” Y/N said excitedly and pulled Jensen into the apartment. “Come on! If you get upstairs fast enough you may catch Rob on the kazoo! Who knew he could rock out on that thing!”

Y/N had Jensen’s hand in hers and was pulling him towards the stairs. He froze in place and let go of her hand. “Whoa… easy tiger. Can you just wait for one sec.”

She turned to face him and looked slightly hurt that he let go. “You alright?” She studied him for a minute and then loosely crossed her arms under her breasts. “You’re not. What’s up?”

“Yeah, I mean, I need to talk to you about something and, I’m not sure where to start.”

“Oh,” she said and swallowed thickly. Her arms fell to her sides, and she fidgeted with them for a minute before returning them to crossed under her chest, but this time she was more tense and guarded. “What about?”

Jensen saw her body language shift and realized he gave her the wrong impression.  _Not off to a great start there, champ_ , he chastised himself.

“Nothing bad, promise,” he chuckled and closed the distance between them. He lightly rubbed the upper parts of her arms and as he softened his gaze on her, helping a little tension release from her body.

“Then, what is it?”

He already regretted bringing it up. “I’m a dick, this could have waited. I just… I’m so afraid of fucking this up–”

“Stop. You can’t do that. Whatever is gonna happen, is gonna happen, Jay. If you have something to tell me, please do. Then give me the benefit of the doubt that I won’t run out on you again, okay?”

“You’re right.” He paused and gave himself a moment to figure out where to start. “Jared came by this morning to talk to me…” he continued, trying to not be nervous about something so trivial. “You know how Gen is still friends with Dee? And how she and I have been talking again?”

“You’ve mentioned it,” she said.

“Right, well, I guess Dee was at their place yesterday, and she was making it seem to Gen that maybe she wanted to come back.”

“Come back? You mean, like, come back to you?”

Jensen nodded and watched nervously as Y/N processed what he was explaining. She was quiet, and that made him anxious. The longer she just contemplated, the more on edge he was getting. It wasn’t a big deal, it really wasn’t. He was just trying to be honest and upfront because he didn’t want her to get any wrong ideas about his interest, or lack thereof, in Dee.

Y/N paced from the entryway and through the kitchen. Leaning back against the counter near the sink, she used her hands to boost herself up and sat on the granite top. “I thought she was with that guy from the party.”

“Apparently she dumped him last week.”

“Oh… How do you feel about that?”

“About Dee’s breakup? Or about her wanting to come back?”

Y/N shrugged. “Both.”

“I mean, we go way back and she’s not a bad person, just misguided sometimes. I do care about her, and I want her to be happy if that’s with him or someone else… that’s up to her.”

“Do you want her back?” she asked bluntly, and for the first time, he saw a bit of worry threading through the lines of her forehead.

His reply was genuine and immediate. “No, Y/N, I don’t.”

Jensen crossed the kitchen and stood in front of where she sat on the counter. He could tell she was trying to play the whole thing very cool, that wall she put up was there, but not guarding her completely. Jensen could see there was a space that he could crawl into and make room for this business between them to grow further, but he would have to be vulnerable with her, first.

He took a step closer, putting himself within that zone of her personal space; the area reserved for only the most intimate of encounters. His tongue ran out nervously over his bottom lip, as he brushed his thumb lovingly against her cheek.

“I haven’t thought about Dee like that in a long time,” he continued in hushed tones. “Whatever she and I had, it’s long over. You are the only person on my mind.”

Jensen leaned in and kissed her lips gently. He saw her eyes flutter closed and felt her respond to his touch. A flood of relief washed over him when Y/N’s arms draped over his shoulders and her hands clasped behind his neck, encouraging him to kiss her. It took every ounce of willpower he had, but Jensen finally did pull away from her before he wouldn’t be able to.

Jensen let his forehead rest against hers for a moment before stepping back. “Besides, you still owe me a first date, remember?”

“I remember. Maybe stop leaving town the second I get back…” she teased, challenging him with the rise of one, well-manicured brow.

“I could say the same for you. Can’t seem to coordinate these travel schedules of ours.”

“Well, you just  _had_  to go off to Italy last week…”

“Hey, I told you to come. We could’ve had our first date in Rome!”

Y/N rolled her eyes and sighed. Jensen couldn’t even pretend to be exasperated with her anymore when she did that. From that first night they spent out on the beach in Seaside, the simple expression of annoyance she threw at him quickly became the one he found most alluring.

“I told you, I don’t have a passport–”

“We need to fix that.”

“–Also, I had to work.”

“We should fix that too. This guy you work with seems like a jerk. You should tell him you need a night off. Or at least time to get a proper passport photo.”

“You are such an ass,” she giggled but looked at him with such adoration, even Jensen couldn’t deny it was there despite his constant fear that she would quickly lose interest in him.

“Seriously, he works you like a dog, never gives you weekends off to go out on a first date with me–”

“Ohhh my God, shut up!” she groaned, took his face in her hands and pulled his lips back for a blunt smack of a kiss and released him, solely to shut him up. “You done now?”

“Not if you’re gonna keep kissing me,” he winked. “In all seriousness though,  _when_  is this gonna happen?”

“I don’t know Jay, I leave in two days to go back to Seattle, then I have to fly out to Jersey because Miguel and Javier have finally agreed to join the festival. BUT they want me to come out and go over everything. Javier doesn’t trust Leo, and frankly, Leo would just fuck it all up. When do you start up again in Vancouver?”

“Next week,” he sighed. “It’s not lookin’ good here, Trix. I know things are chaotic, but I really want this time with you before things pick up even more.”

Y/N smiled bashfully and cast her eyes down away from the intensity of his gaze. “I want that too,” she replied in a near whisper. “How about tomorrow? Last minute, but, at least we’ll be in the same city on the same night.”

Jensen perked up, but before he could answer, they heard someone rushing down the steps in leaps and bounds, their feet eventually landing on the ceramic tile of the kitchen with a thud. Y/N started to laugh as Jensen’s head whipped around and saw Robbie standing there out of breath and trying to maintain his balance so he didn’t fall.

“Whoa, that’s slippery,” he said with chuckle and then saw Jensen standing there. “Hey! Look who’s finally here! You missed a killer kazoo session, brother.”

“I heard.” Jensen moved to hug Rob hello and then went back to his place right next to Y/N.

Rob looked at them and saw all the signs of two people clearly smitten with each other. Y/N was sitting on the counter, and Jensen was leaning back on the edge directly in front of her. She rested her chin on his shoulder and looked completely comfortable doing so.

“Don’t you two look cozy,” he quipped and went to open Y/N’s refrigerator.

“Aw, come on Robbie. We got our snuggle session later, do be hatin’,” Jensen teased.

Rob ignored Jensen and gasped when he looked inside of the fridge. “Jesus, Y/N, it’s like a deserted wasteland in this thing. Doesn’t the man pay you enough to buy groceries?”

“No, he pays me in wit and booze.”

“Bri was right, you two are a match made in Hell,” Rob sighed and closed the refrigerator door.

Y/N sat up straighter on the counter prepared to defend her barren refrigerator. “Rob, when am I supposed to go grocery shopping? Or cook for that matter? If I am in town, I am here for hours at a time. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve used this kitchen.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Jensen said and moved off the counter to turn to face Rob and Y/N. “Let’s get a bit of work done first. Then, I’ll run to the store and get something to cook up for everyone. Sound good?” Jensen offered her a helping hand off the counter, and she took it happily.

“Pizza?” she asked excitedly when her feet were back on the floor.

Jensen sighed. “God, no. Not again. No Salty Sow, either. I’m talking a home-cooked meal. Alright?”

Rob’s face lit up. “You’re gonna cook for us?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not? But, schedules first.”

“Aye Aye, Captain,” Rob said and thought they would both follow him up. When neither Jensen or Y/N made a move to follow, he realized he had interrupted something, again, and turned for the stairs. “You know, I’ll just head up and get the board clear,” he stammered and retreated back up the steps.

“I love that strange little man,” Jensen chuckled and slightly shook his head before turning his attention back to Y/N.

“So, you’re gonna cook, huh?”

“Yes ma’am,” he answered, accentuating the thick Texas drawl he normally toned down.

She eyed him with playful suspicion. “Didn’t know you could or that you even liked to.”

Jensen took a few steps towards her, his gaze fixed on her as he walked her back until she bumped into the refrigerator. He placed a hand on either side of her head against the freezer door, then bent down and ghosted his nose over hers before he left a breath of a kiss on her lips.

“There’s a lot you still don’t know about me, Trix. Come on, let’s go get some work done before this takes a turn and nothing gets done at all.”

Jensen stepped back from her, but Y/N felt frozen in place. He took her hand and peeled her off the fridge, forcing her feet to move and guiding her in direction of the stairs to join Rob and Jason up in the office.

An hour in and little work has gotten done up on the third floor of the townhouse. Jensen, Rob, Jason, and Y/N spent most of the time discussing music itself, instead of the scheduling of music. Eventually, it broke down to Jensen on the couch with a guitar, smiling like a fool as Robbie harmonized with Jason and the kazoo. Y/N watched from her spot on the floor, holding her belly and laughing as the guys jammed on what started out as a really nice version of Simple Man, into something unrecognizable, but amazingly fun.

When they had finally worn themselves out and put the instruments down, Rob’s stomach was growling loud enough for the entire room to hear it.

“Jay, please go get this man some food. I’m afraid we’re losing him.” Y/N pleaded with him as she stood up from the floor. “Maybe if he knows food is on the way, and you two aren’t here to distract him, I could trick him into work.”

“You’re devious,” Rob added, looking up to Y/N. “But your plan may just work.”

All eyes were on Jensen now, who regrettably got up from the couch. “Fine. Let’s do this. Jason, wanna take a ride with me?”

Jason nodded and got up from the couch and grabbed his keys from the table. “But we’re taking my car.”

“What’s wrong with my truck?” Jensen asked, slightly offended.

“Not the truck, I just want control over the music. Not really in the mood for Rob Zombie on repeat today.”

“Dude, that was  _one_  time. Let it go.”

Jason shook his head and went to leave the room, but turned and mouthed “ _more than one time”_  while Jensen’s back was still to him. “Meet ya in the car, buddy.”

Jensen waved him off. “Anything special you want me to grab while I’m out?” he asked Y/N and Rob.

“No, just food,” Rob said and went to pick up the guitar.

“Don’t you dare, Robert. You put that down and pick up the notebook and pen. Start making lists, I’ll be right back.”

Rob frowned, mildly scared. “Yikes. Since when did you get so bossy?”

Y/N gave him a challenging look, that made Rob slowly put down the guitar and pick up the notebook. Satisfied that he did what she asked, and turned her attention back to Jensen. She couldn’t help but laugh at his own expression as he appeared mildly shook at what he just saw happen.

“Damn, Trix. You gotta teach me that.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m happy to boss you around any time,” she winked and then gently pushed him from the room and towards the top of the stairs. When they were out of view from where Rob was hopefully working, Y/N kissed his cheek sweetly. “See you soon.”

Jensen smiled and grabbed her arm lightly before she could turn away. His eyes were wistful and smiling, bringing out the crinkles she loved so much. He stole a kiss, sweet and soft before he released her and grinned smugly.

“I could really get used to this,” he said before turning and heading down the stairs and out the door to meet up with Jason.

Y/N took a moment to compose herself before going back into the office. When she did Rob watched her, a gleeful smile coming to light under his beard. “You guys… you’re pretty damn cute, you know that, right?”

“Shut up,” Y/N mumbled, but couldn’t hide the embarrassment in her smile.

“I mean it. So, what’s the deal, are you guys like… together?”

“Rob…” she whined. “Can we just work,  _please_?”

“Yeah, of course,” he agreed and pulled out the list they had started with earlier that afternoon.

Ten minutes in and they came to their first bump in the road. There was an open spot on Saturday night that no one was able to fill.

“We could call one of the backup bands,” Y/N considered out loud.

“No,” Rob said, shaking his head. “I’ve got a better idea.”

“Which is?”

He leaned over and picked up the guitar, then held it out for her to take.

“You. You sing. You play. I know you have original songs. We’ve already talked about them. I want you up there.”

“No,” she chuckled and took the guitar but laid it down next to her. “None are ready, I don’t have a band anymore. I don’t–”

“Sure you do. We’ll back you up. Come on. Play one of the songs. I wanna hear one.”

“Maybe another time. Right now–”

“Nope. Now it’s my turn to be bossy. We need to fill this spot. It’s a big one on Saturday night on one of the main stages. I love the other bands and singers, but none of them are going to be able to fit that slot like it needs to be. We need a big sound. Original stuff. Too late to get any big, popular touring acts, so let’s give them something new. Besides, I know for a fact that a lot of fans are coming. A lot of which have seen you on stage with us already. So… whatcha say?” Rob motioned towards the guitar with his chin. “Play me something.”

Y/N studied his face for a moment and sighed in relent. “One song. But I promise nothing about the festival.”

“Yesss,” he hissed, excited for what was about to happen.

Y/N picked up the guitar and positioned it on her lap. “It’s not completely finished, but this is [Wow and Flutter](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F20XDkiWL6hl8ZsvycTABWQ%3Fsi%3DLjVNVx54RI2aCORiLKdR6Q&t=YzA1ZWY0MzhjODNiNDM5NzgxNjc5ZDI4ZTZlYmY4ZDZjZGY4NjVkYSxNM1ozVXoyZw%3D%3D&b=t%3AnhKxeIEmJIrTLZjcVkg3iQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcoffee-obsessed-writer.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F184970550662%2Fwhen-you-least-expect-it-part-nine&m=0).”

She began to strum, the tempo was upbeat and had a good rhythm that Rob knew would be easy for the band to pick up.

**_“_ _I could take a great big bite out of you  
When I get my cake I like to eat I like to eat it too  
And can I help myself if I find you simply delicious?_ **

__**Now I’m like the big, bad wolf at your door  
My mouth is wide open, ready to explore  
And I’m not hiding the fact that I’m out for blood  
Baby, I’m vicious**

__**Don’t hate a girl because she knows  
All the ways to get beneath your clothes  
Cause you played those games, down to the letter  
You’re just mad cause I play them better”**

Rob’s foot was tapping along, and the grin he wore was large and genuine. When the verse went into the chorus, she repeated it twice and then just strummed the rhythm for a few more bars before stopping.

“I told you, it’s not done. I mean the lyrics are but…” she paused and shrugged. “Nothing special.”

“Nothing special?” Rob exclaimed. “Are you fucking serious right now? Y/N, that song… that could be huge. I can hear it finished in my head already and I’m telling you… it works. Please.  _Please_ consider this. I am begging you.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say. No one that had heard her original music had ever seemed very impressed by it; other than Mama Mia, of course. But that woman would encourage Y/N to do just about anything so she didn’t exactly trust her judgment.

“I–” Y/N was interrupted from a knock at the front door. “They couldn’t be back that fast, could they? Be right back.”

As she bounded down the two flights of steps, she felt a little relieved to be distracted from the conversation she was having with Rob. Putting it out of her mind, for the time being, she reached the front door and when she pulled it open, she felt like she was hit in the gut with a bag of rocks.

Nathan was standing on the porch, and when he saw her, his mouth unfurled to a wide grin. He looked tired and road worn; his clothes wrinkled and his hair unkempt. Yet, he still smiled wistfully when he saw her.

“Nathan?” His name came out more of a hollow whisper. “What are you doing here?”

“I came out to surprise you. Things at home were getting a little tiresome, so I rented a car and decided to take a road trip.”

“To Austin?”

“Well, not just Austin, but a stop along the way. Hope its a good surprise…”

“Um, yeah,” she said and tried to muster the enthusiasm he was expecting her to have. “Just a surprise. You have impeccable timing. One more day and I wouldn’t be here.”

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Work,” she started and then stepped aside. “Sorry, come on in…”

Nate walked into the townhouse and looked around, letting out a little whistle as he did. “Fancy.”

“Not really. Just sort of serves as a home base for everything,” Y/N said, a knot of nerves was starting to tie in her stomach.

“Still pretty nice that you get to live here. Quite an upgrade from the bungalow.”

Y/N shrugged. “I don’t know. I love my bungalow. This is a great place, don’t get me wrong, but I miss having the ocean outside my front door.”

Nathan wandered into the living room and looked out of the rear balcony doors. “Yeah but, you got a river out back. That’s pretty sweet.”

“Yeah…” she trailed off, trying to think of what to say, but was blessedly interrupted by Rob coming down the stairs.

“Was that them because I am seriously hungry–” Rob said and paused when he saw the change in Y/N’s expression and body language. He didn’t say anything, but his brow knitted together, confused, and when she looked past him into the living room, Rob turned and saw the source of why her energy had shifted.

“Um, Rob… this is Nate. He’s a friend from Jersey. He’s on a spontaneous road trip and decided to pop in to say hello.”

“Oh, hey man!” Rob said and walked into the other room, hand extended in a greeting. “I remember you from FaceTime.”

“Yeah, right. How are ya,” Nate replied and shook Robbie’s hand?

“Good, good. That’s a long drive from Jersey! Where’s your ultimate destination?” Rob asked, trying to keep him engaged in conversation. He could feel the tense energy vibing off Y/N and he wanted to step in and help her however he could.

“Not sure really. I only have a couple weeks before I start work, so, thinking of checking out the west coast.”

“What work?” Y/N asked.

“Oh, you remember that old guy Ellsworth? The one with the fluke fishery out of Manasquan?”

Y/N nodded. “Of course, they were my dad’s biggest competition.”

“Yeah, well, his kid Kevin hired me on. Gonna be running flukes for the summer.”

“That’s great,” she said but felt that she didn’t entirely believe him. Kevin had been a friend of theirs growing up, and the last she could remember, Kevin and Nate did not leave things on good terms. Not wanting to rock the boat, she let it go and just tried to think of how to make this surprise visit go smoothly.

“Can I offer you a drink? I don’t have much, unfortunately…”

“I’m good,” he said. “Can I use your bathroom though? Long drive and all.”

“Of course, it’s down the little hallway there, behind the stairs.”

Nate smiled at her as he passed by, and went down to the bathroom. Rob turned then and quickly walked over to Y/N.

“You alright? You look pale.”

“Just surprised is all.”

“Not a good one I take it?” Rob asked and Y/N just shrugged, then swallowed hard enough for Robbie to hear. “Who is he, really?”

“My ex. We’ve known each other for years,” she said lowly, then moved back into the kitchen so Nate wouldn’t hear them. “It didn’t end well. At all. He came over while I was back in New Jersey over the winter, wanting to be friends. But–”

“But what?”

“I don’t know Robbie, I think he wanted more. I tried to be firm and make that understood. But I don’t think he is taking that rejection well.”

“What makes you say–” Rob was cut off by the sound of the bathroom door open.

“So,” Rob started as Nate rejoined them in the kitchen. “How long you in town for?”

“Um, well, that depends on this one,” Nate said with a grin, that made Rob noticeably uncomfortable and pointed towards Y/N.

“Nate, I just told you, I leave on a trip soon. I won’t be here.”

“Oh, right,” he said, choking back whatever words wanted to follow. “Well, might as well make the most of the time we have, right? Why don’t you give me the grand tour.”

“Sure. I can do that. Rob, you wanna hang here and let the guys in if their hands are full?”

“You got it,” he grinned and watched as Y/N escorted Nate up the stairs towards the second floor.

When they were gone, Rob took out his phone and brought up Jensen’s name through the messaging app.

<< _Hey man, how much longer you guys gonna be? Surprise visitor at the house, Y/N is sorta freaked._

He hit send and then held his breath for a beat waiting for Jensen’s response. It didn’t take more than a minute to get a text back.

>> _What the hell? Who’s there?_

_< <The ex popped in._

_> >Mine or hers?_

_< <Hers._

_> >What the fuck. She ok?_

_< <Yeah, just freaked he showed up unannounced. What’s his deal, anyway?_

_> >IDK never met the guy. But I’m about too. Be back in ten min._

Y/N showed Nathan around to the second floor, but skipped her bedroom, then took him up to the office area on the third floor. When he walked into the loft space he stopped and took a good look around. It was a large, open room, with two glass doors that open out onto a balcony.

“Wow, this place… it’s huge for one person,” he mumbled and walked through. “Can’t believe you have furniture and instruments up here, and still have that much room to move around.”

“Well the guitar is mine, but the amps and bass, drum kit… they’re all Robbie’s. He brought them up about a month ago and they just sort of became part of the room now.”

“You playing with their band?” he asked in an accusatory tone.

She was taken aback by the tone of his question. “Sometimes, but just for fun. Why?”

Nate shrugged, seemingly annoyed, and walked out to the balcony. Y/N stayed in the room, though she knew he wanted her to follow him out there. A moment or two later, he came back in realizing that she wasn’t going to.

“So what’s the plan, Nate? Why are you here, really?”

“Can’t I just come by to say hello? I mean, we’re friends, right? That’s what you said.”

“Yes, Nathan, we are–”

“They why don’t you call or text me back?”

“Because I’m–”

“Busy?”

“Yes, and stop interrupting me. I’m working, Nate. I travel a lot. I am in meetings with school boards, city councils, business owners, bands…”

“Singing on stages with celebrities…”

Y/N froze. “What did you say?”

“I saw you, Y/N. I saw the video. When you were in Chicago and you never called or texted back. I got scared something happened to you. I was sitting at home worrying that you were dead in an alley somewhere. I mean, you were in Chicago! Anything could’ve happened to you! So, since you weren’t answering, I did some digging. Searched hospitals and morgues, but then I saw the video and there you were, perfectly fine.”

“And? What the fuck does that have to do with anything, Nate? It was work! Also, I don’t  _HAVE_  check in with you. I call and text when I can. I told you back in January if you couldn’t handle us just being friends, then, you need to stay away.”

“No… I…” he stuttered nervously “I can, Y/N. I know, I have a lot to make up for. It’s just… I miss you. Just even talking to you. And I worry about you traveling so much alone.”

“I’m sorry Nathan, but that’s no excuse to come here to my house and act like a jerk.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Y/N sighed and crossed her arms over her chest tightly. From below, she heard the commotion of voices and knew that Jensen and Jason had come back. Relief washed over her, but also a sting of anxiety over Nathan coming face to face with Jensen and what that would entail.

Nathan heard it too, and Y/N saw his body noticeably tense up. “More company?”

“No, the other guys are back with food,” she said and walked towards the door.

“What other guys?”

“Jensen and Jason. We were all here working today.” Y/N turned to go down the stairs. She didn’t invite him to follow, but he did.  

Down in the kitchen, she found Rob, Jensen, and Jason talking in hushed tones, and she had an idea that it was in regards to Nathan. The moment she arrived in there, they stepped back and resumed normal conversation.

“Hey,” she said and went to the counter where they were unloading the bags. “What did you get?”

Jensen studied her demeanor for a moment before answering. “I got some chicken kabobs to throw on the grill, some salads and Jason insisted on the mango salsa and chips.” He was going to ask about Nathan and if she was alright, but right on the heels of his rundown of lunch, Nathan appeared from the stairwell into the kitchen. Y/N heard him and did her best to keep a pleasant tone as she introduced him.

“Nathan, this is Jensen, and that’s Jason. They are both working on the festival.”

“Nice to meet ya,” Jensen said and held out his hand. Jason simply gave a wave from the other side of the kitchen as he pretended to busy himself with the food.

Nathan hesitated when taking Jensen’s hand to shake, but after a moment, he reached out and did just that. Y/N could see he was getting angry. That side of him hadn’t changed, and all his usual tells were still the same; his hands were fidgeting, the vein in his neck was protruding, his body was very rigid. But somehow, Nathan managed to shake Jensen’s hand and even reply normally to the introduction.

“Same here. Heard a lot about you from Y/N,” Nathan said after letting go of the greeting.

“Yeah, me too… So what brings you to Austin, Nate?” Jensen was getting right down to business. Y/N watched nervously as the conversation between them was pleasant, yet ripe with tension.

“Just road tripping through,” he answered and shifted uncomfortably.

“How long you sticking around for?”

“Well, I don’t know, Jensen. Was hoping a few days but seems like you’re working Y/N too hard, as she’s off for another trip tomorrow.”

Jensen knew that she didn’t have to leave for another two days, but nodded in agreement. “Yeah, well, that’s why she gets paid the big bucks,” he said with a forced smile. Y/N saw that expression and knew there was nothing humorous about it. Jensen was getting annoyed by Nathan already, and she needed to find a way to diffuse the situation.

“Jay, why don’t you go light the grill. Takes a few minutes to get going. Rob and Jason can get back on the schedules while the food’s cooking. Right guys?”

“On it,” Rob said, grabbed the chips and salsa, then motioned with his head for Jason to follow him back upstairs.

“Yeah, okay,” Jensen said after the other two left, and gave Y/N a purposefully sweet smile. He grabbed the ready-to-grill chicken kabobs from the counter, then made his way through the living room and out onto the patio to ready the grill.

“Nice guy,” Nathan mumbled sarcastically. “His hair always look like that?”

“You need to stop. I am not going to do this with you.”

“Do what?”

“Have you stand in my house and be rude to my friends. You forget I know you, Nathan. I know your tone, your body language… I know when you’re lying and I know when you’re being a shit on purpose.”

He was growing annoyed and she didn’t care. She was tired of his brazen ways of trying to get her to pay attention to him.

“I’m not lying. I am on a road trip, wanted to see you. That’s all!”

“Ok, fine. But, you should have called. I can’t just drop everything for you–”

“But you would for him,” Nathan snapped and pointed over his shoulder. “Some pretty rich boy… who can buy you townhouses and fly you all over the world. When the fuck did you get to be so God damn shallow?!”

“You know what, fuck you! You don’t have the first clue who he is. You don’t know me anymore, Nate! I am not the same girl you could push around and–” she stopped herself before she ventured down a road she wasn’t ready too.

“And what?” he asked, baiting her.

“It’s time to go, Nate.” Y/N wouldn’t look at him. Her arms were so tightly crossed against her chest, she was beginning to tense in her shoulders and lose feeling in her hands.

“You’re unbelievable. You leave Jersey for what, six months? And now you’re too good to spend time with me, right? You’ve moved on? What makes you think you deserve any of this, huh? Because some fuck boy is gonna give you whatever you want to suck his dick?”

Nate was growing louder and now, more than ever, she just wanted him to go peacefully.

“Nate, please. Just go,” she said, nearly pleading with him.

“You say I’ve changed?” he ignored her and continued. “YOU have changed! You used to not care about any of this shit. It was you, me and Dave. All we had was each other!”

“Right, then you drank everything away and left! Put me in the goddamned hospital before you did, too!” She was so angry she was shaking now, working hard to focus her frustration at Nathan. So much so she never heard the balcony doors open a moment before, or notice Jensen step through.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” Jensen’s voice cut through the tension and caused Y/N to finally unfurl her arms, letting them fall to her side.

“Jay…” she breathed and looked over at Nate who was grinning in a way that made her stomach churn.

“Did you actually just say that he put you in the hospital?” Jensen’s gaze was stuck on her, his lips pulled into a thin line and his arms rigid at his side. “Y/N?”

Y/N closed her eyes for a moment and sighed deeply before answering. “It was a long time ago… It’s not a big deal. I’m just asking him to leave now.”

“I don’t give a shit if it was yesterday or a lifetime ago. He put his hands on you and put you in the hospital. Yes or no?”

She tried to swallow back the lump of anxiety in her throat. Words wouldn’t come, but she wouldn’t lie to protect Nate anymore, either. Slowly, Y/N nodded.

In a flash, Jensen took a few lunging steps towards Nathan, grabbed his shirt at each shoulder and shoved him hard up and into the wall. His face was contorted into disgust and it was taking all of his will power not to pummel the man right there.

“What the fuck did you do to her?!”

Y/N could hear footsteps from upstairs, the volume of the argument reaching the top floor of the townhouse. Just as Jensen was getting in Nate’s face, Rob and Jason were there, trying to pull Jensen off him.

“Jay! Come on man be smart!” Rob yelled, yanking at Jensen’s shirt as Jason wrapped an arm around his waist, trying to move him back.

Jensen stopped resisting and let go of Nate’s shirt. He stepped back but was still breathing heavily through his nostrils from the rush of adrenaline.

Nate laughed and smoothed out his shirt. “That’s what I thought,” he mumbled and took a step towards the front door. “Don’t worry, Y/N. I’m going. I see you for what you are now. You ain’t worth–”

Nathan was stopped by the motion of Jensen’s fist connecting with his mouth. Taken off guard, Jensen cocked his arm back the second Rob and Jason had let him go. He had no intention of letting Nate get off that easy. Leaving or not, Jensen would have the last word here. No way he was going to let Nate say anything else, especially not about his girl.

Nathan went spiraling backward, and slammed into the front door, then slid to the tile. He grabbed onto his jaw where Jensen punched him and felt the trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth.

“Come on! You’re so fucking tough to him a woman?! Hit me, asshole! I dare you!”

“Jensen! Jay, please… Just… let him go,” Y/N was standing in front of him now, pushing him back towards the living room and out of Nathan’s reach. “Please, look at me.” She could feel how tense his body was and she was amazed she was even able to move him back at all. Y/N touched his cheek and then lay the same hand on his chest; simply trying to get his attention.

From behind her Nathan snorted a laugh and muttered, “Yeah, that didn’t take long.”

“Dude, I think you need to leave. Now,” Rob warned, feeling ready to lay down some swift justice himself. “Seriously. Fun’s over.”

“I swear to God if you come anywhere near her again…” Jensen growled then trailed off, knowing he needed to be careful, but seething to make a definitive promise of bodily harm. He finally looked away from Nate and into Y/N’s gaze. He saw her desperation for this to be over. For her, he released the tension in his body and laid his hand over hers that rested on his chest.

Nate didn’t say anything else. He glared at Y/N incredulously and gathered himself before opening the front door. When he was done eyeing her with an air of disgust, his gaze flicked up to Jensen. Nate spat on the floor and laughed, then went out the front door and slammed it behind him, making Y/N jump.

Jensen put his arms around her and pulled her into him. He held her until she stopped trembling, then walked her to the couch. In that time, Rob wiped up the floor, so Y/N wouldn’t have too. He and Jason thought it best to give their friends a few moments alone, so they quietly went back upstairs after setting all the locks on the front door.

“You alright?” Jensen asked her. She was tucked into the crook of his arm on the couch, and he was grateful she had stopped shaking.

“Me? How’s your hand? You hit him pretty hard.”

“Eh, it’s fine,” he reassured her and flexed it once or twice. “Promise. Just a little sore.” Jensen sat up and turned to face her. “Why didn’t you tell me what he did? And, I’m not trying to judge you, but why would you  _ever_  let him back into your life after he did… whatever he did?”

Y/N slowly shook her head. “I don’t know. He never used to be violent. After the drugs and drinking though, he got that way. We were at the Bamboo, and he had come for money and I wouldn’t give him any. He hit me, square in the face. Broke my nose and when I fell back, I hit my head and got a concussion.”

“Hence the hospital stay.”

“Yup.”

“Jesus,” Jensen sighed and took her hand in his. “He won’t hurt or scare you again. Ok? I won’t let him. In fact, I think it would be safer if you just come stay at my place. I won’t be there a lot, but, better than you being here alone. I don’t like the idea of that while I’m in Vancouver.”

“No, Jay–”

“No, listen. Please… Y/N…For me, for my peace of mind, come stay. We’ll wrap this up and then go back to my house–”

She was shaking her head emphatically. “No. I won’t do that. I won’t let him chase me away. I had to move away from the bungalow for months after that happened because I was afraid. I won’t leave my home again because of him. I won’t, so please don’t ask me too.”

Jensen was quiet for a minute but agreed to stop asking. “If he should come back around, you don’t hesitate to call 911. And tomorrow, I’m calling an alarm company and getting one installed.”

“Jensen,” she sighed, “That’s not necessary.”

“It is to me. And if you won’t come to my place. I will make sure you’re safe when I can’t be here. Sorry, Trix, those are the rules if you’re gonna date me.” His expression shrugged, and it made her smile. That’s all he ever wanted to do was to make her smile.

“I can handle that,” she said and leaned against him again.

“Do you… are you still–I mean, if you wanna cancel tomorrow,” Jensen started half-heartedly, hoping she would stop him. He wasn’t disappointed.

“Oh no, fuck that. We are going out tomorrow. I refuse to let that assclown ruin anything else. Especially that.”

Jensen breathed a sigh of relief and kissed the top of her head. “Good. That makes me happy.”

“Can I ask you a favor?” Her voice seemed small and timid.

“Anything.”

“For the rest of the night, can we not say his name or bring this up again? Everything was so perfect before he came and ruined it.”

“That is something we can do. You know what else, we can do?” he asked and pulled back to look down at her.

“Eat chicken kabobs. Good ones too. Maybe Rob and Jason even saved some of the salsa for us.”

“Now you’re just setting yourself up for disappointment, Jensen,” she teased.

She loved how despite the chaos that just erupted, he could roll with the punches and provide her with the tools she needed to get back on track with feeling good and skirting the void she used to fall into where Nathan was concerned. Jensen was a beacon for her, and she was grateful to have him in her life.

“Call me a hopeless dreamer,” he laughed and stood up from the couch. He offered her a hand and pulled her up to her feet. She turned to go, but he stopped her and made her face him.

He didn’t say a word, just kissed her softly and gave her hand a squeeze. She saw that he winched a little when he did and knew he was downplaying how badly his hand hurt. Y/N walked into the kitchen and went into the freezer. She pulled out a bag of frozen peas and met him near the staircase.

“Gimmie,” she demanded and waited for him to put his hand out. She rested it gently against the bag of peas and adjusted it to cover his knuckles.

“Robbie’s right, you are bossy.”

“It’s a gift,” she shrugged it off.

“It’s cute.”

She shook her head and concentrated on his hand. “I have sports tape somewhere. I’m a klutz, constantly tripping over stuff, so I learned to keep it on hand.”

“Hey, Y/N, it’s fine. I’m fine. I promise. Go upstairs and help the guys. I should go flip the chicken. Then we’ll work and after which you and I can just concentrate on tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? What’s tomorrow?” she asked, but couldn’t keep a straight face. “Still cute?”

Jensen nodded. “Ridiculously so.”

Jensen called first thing the next morning, letting Y/N know the security company would arrive by ten for a consultation, and the installation was scheduled for the day after she left, with Jensen promising to be there to oversee it. They chatted casually about that evening, and he was very mysterious and vague about the plans he had made for them. Only that she should wear whatever she wanted, and be ready by six.

There was much different energy throughout that day then there was the last time she spent an afternoon getting ready to go out with him. Y/N leisurely searched through her closet and pulled out a white, cotton dress, with a delicate lace overlay that came to mid-thigh. Pairing it with her favorite jewelry and sandals, she grabbed her light blush colored purse just as his knock rapped at the door.

Y/N exhaled a steady breath before she opened the door. She had been out places with Jensen a dozen or more times, but tonight was different. It wasn’t about work or the festival, it wasn’t planning or brainstorming. This was just Trix and Hollywood, going on a date and that put a mild tremor into her nerves.

She opened the door and saw him standing there staring off into the parking lot. There were a few times she was struck by just how gorgeous he was, but that night, Jensen took her breath away. He wasn’t dressed in anything more than a pair of blue-grey pants and a tight-fitting, long sleeve cream color shirt, but there was something about him that left her speechless.

When Jensen turned and was able to take in the full sight of her, his expression fell, along with his jaw.

Y/N had a moment of panic at his reaction. “What? It’s too much, right? I’m way overdressed—” she paused when Jensen looked like he may say something but stopped. “Underdressed? I could change.”

Y/N went to turn, already running through other things she could throw on real quick. Before she could get far, Jensen’s hand gently grabbed her wrist to stop her.

“You’re perfect.”

“You’re biased.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged and guided her closer towards him. “But I don’t care. You’re perfect just how you are.”

She looked away bashfully, momentarily unable to handle the way he was looking at her. Y/N didn’t know if she could accurately describe just how intense it felt; just that it made every hair on her arms stand at attention, and every nerve ending spark with live current. Jensen offered his elbow to her just like he did on New Year’s Eve, and once again, she took it happily, closing the front door behind her.

As Jensen escorted her from the front door to his truck, Y/N had a moment where she wondered if he made her feel like he did because he was simply the most genuine and kind man she’d been out with, or if it was because that’s what it felt like when you met your soulmate. He opened the car door for her and once she was in and he closed it, she watched him walk around the front of the truck and thought the night would help her to figure that out.

“You never did tell me where we were going,” she said as she watched the city roll by from the passenger window. “I mean, this is you we’re talking about, so I don’t know if you’re taking me to McDonald’s or to The Met.” Y/N turned her head from the window to look at him and was met by a deadpan roll of the eyes.

“Seriously? McDonald’s?” he sighed.

“What? I’m not exactly a five-star bistro kinda girl, Jay. I’m ok with Mickey D’s, as long as you let me supersize.” She wiggled her brows and winked at him. Even when she was being purposefully sarcastic, he found her adorable.

“We are definitely  _not_  going to either of those places. I was shooting for something more in the middle.”

“A hint, perhaps?”

“Nope. Sorry, Trix. You’re just going to have to be patient. Besides, we’ll be there before you know it.”

“Mean.”

“Terribly,” he smirked and directed his eyes back to the road in front of him.

True to his word, they arrived at the secret location shortly after. Jensen directed his truck through the entrance and to the parking lot, finding a space and killing the engine. Y/N realized they were in Republic Square and felt slightly confused until she spotted the sign near the edge of the lot that read “Jazz in the Park, Featuring FOR TONIGHT ONLY, Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox”. The realization hit her as to the evening’s entertainment and she whipped her head around to him.

“Seriously?! You got tickets that last minute?! I’ve always wanted to see Postmodern Jukebox!” she squealed and grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze.

In all the months he knew Y/N, Jensen had never seen such a rush of excitement come over her. He thought he had seen all of her expressions, but this was new and he found himself liking it, a lot.

“I did. I heard you talk about them enough, and saw there were a few tickets left so I grabbed ‘em.”

“You’re amazing, Jay, thank you,” she breathed, then leaned over and left a longing kiss on Jensen’s cheek.

His breath caught in his throat like it always did when she was that close. But Jensen was able to maintain his composure. “Come on, let’s go find a good spot.”

Once they were out of the truck, he went into the bed and retrieved the oversized plaid blanket he had there along with a big wicker basket.

“Well, well, maybe you ARE a Boy Scout after all,” Y/N said, surprised at all the effort he had put in for their date that had been planned with such short notice.

“Shall we?” he asked, tucking the blanket between his arm and the basket, and offering her his free hand.

Y/N smiled and took his hand, lacing their fingers together, excited for what the evening had in store. “Yes, please.”

After claiming a spot close to the stage, but not in the middle of the crowd, Jensen spread out the blanket and set the basket on top. He offered a hand to Y/N as she went to sit, then took his place beside her.

The park had been transformed into an intimate setting with the addition of twinkling white lights that were strung through the trees that lined the perimeter of the concert area. The evening air was a perfect temperature, and off in the distance, beyond the dreamy atmosphere of the fairy-like trees, the insects of twilight could be heard performing their own concerto.

“What’s in there?” she asked pointing at the basket, then lifting the lid to inhale the familiar, savory aroma. “What did you bring?!”

“Well,” Jensen said, a sly smirk on his face as he pulled the basket closer and opened it up a little. “Wine, cheese, grapes, some caviar–” he looked to Y/N and saw her eyes narrowed at him.

“I know the smell of a burger, Jay. Don’t give me that wine and cheese crap. What did you get?!” She sat up on her knees and tried to get a look in the basket, but he snapped it shut before she could. “Mean!” she sat back on her heels and pretended to pout.

“Close your eyes,” he instructed. Y/N continued to protrude her lower lip and look at up him with wide, sad eyes. “Come on, don’t ruin my fun. Close ‘em.”

Y/N played along and closed her eyes. A moment later she felt him place something in front of her and when he gave her the ok, she was able to see the lengths he really went to for their first date. Sitting on the blanket in front of her, was a six-pack of her favorite brew from his brewery and two styrofoam containers from The Salty Sow.

Jensen went back into the basket and retrieved utensils and napkins just as the opening band took the stage. The smooth soulful jazz was a nice backdrop to a dinner of their favorite burgers and the light, playful banter that flowed so easily between them. By the time that band had played through their set, Jensen and Y/N had cleared the debris from the food and were ready for PMJ to take the stage next.

There was a good size audience spread out across the meadow, and they all rose to their feet when Postmodern Jukebox began to play. They kicked off the first set with the more uptempo numbers, prompting a lot of the people that were up, to dance and move to the beat. Jensen took Y/N’s hand and tried to pull her close.

“Come dance with me, Trix.”

She laughed and shook her head. “I can’t dance, or did you forget?”

“Did I ever tell you that I have a bucket list?” he asked, ignoring her and refusing to let go of her hand.

“No,” she sighed, “do tell…”

“Well on that list, it very clearly says, ‘dance with Y/N’. Are you really going to deny me a chance to cross something off my bucket list?” he asked with a feigned offense. “Really?”

“The first night I met you, I told you I dance like Elaine from Seinfeld, remember? Why would you subject yourself to that?” she asked with a chuckle.

“Oh, I remember. I also remember jumping into the frigid ocean just to get your attention,” he said, and brought her hand to his chest and held it there. “I remember asking you to come work with me…” his picked up her wrist, and brought it up to his shoulder, and laid her hand behind his neck. “I remember how you rolled your eyes at me constantly…” Y/N rolled her eyes purposefully at him, causing a smug grin to unfurl on his lips. “Yup, just like that.”

Finally, he slipped his arms around snuggly around her waist and began to sway her slowly to the music before he continued. “I remember you finally agreeing to come work with me after I sang Joy to the World, and then spent the night.”

The song ended, and just as Y/N half-heartedly tried to break away from him, PMJ’s cover of “[Stay With Me](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F5fA2kD0tLcLcwLqvlSRwOh%3Fsi%3DGJHjgRtmQJK8ZIYNzmSnVg&t=Zjc3YzAxODMwYjQyNmJkM2EzNjY4YjBhMGVmMTEyYjAwZGJmZmVjZCxNM1ozVXoyZw%3D%3D&b=t%3AnhKxeIEmJIrTLZjcVkg3iQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcoffee-obsessed-writer.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F184970550662%2Fwhen-you-least-expect-it-part-nine&m=0)” started to play. Jensen brought her in even closer, leaving barely a breath of space between their bodies.

“Oh no, that was barely a dance… Besides, I didn’t tell you what I remember the most about that first night.”

“What?” she asked, the question nearly silent as it caught in her throat.

“What I remember most, is how beautiful you looked in the moonlight.”

Y/N felt her chest ache at his words, and she instinctively felt the need to play it off like what he said was no big deal. She rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Laying it on a little thick, huh Hollywood?”

“No,” he breathed. “Not gonna let you do that.” His face turned serious as he held her a little tighter. “I mean it, Y/N. I knew that night that somehow, someway, I would get to hold you like this.”

“Jensen…” she breathed, unsure of what should come next.

Words were failing her. There was no snappy comeback, no witty retort she could throw at him that would shift the mood of the moment. What surprised her more was that she didn’t really want it to. Y/N wanted to be real with him. The simple act of allowing herself to dance with him was her being pretty open already, but she knew she had to go further. She wanted to put the walls down and be as vulnerable as he was; she craved it. Past experiences and regrettable choices were the only things holding her back, and it was while she danced with Jensen that she came to understand that they didn’t matter anymore. Jensen knew her, understood where she came from and how she’d been hurt because he had been too. He saw that in her and still wanted to be there, holding her while they danced under a canopy of stars.

Y/N sighed softly, and when her eyes were able to meet his she found the confidence to say what she needed to. “You were the first person I told that story to… the one about my dad. No one knew about that; not even my brother.”

The little smile Jensen had been wearing fell and was replaced by something softer. “Really?”

“Mhm, I just never wanted to share that. That was  _my_  thing with him. But that night, I don’t know, it just felt right. I  _wanted_  to tell you about it. I knew you were someone special when you jumped in the water and sang the song with barely any hesitation. I knew then that he would have liked you.”

“You think so?” Jensen smiled proudly hearing that from her. “I didn’t hesitate because I knew you’d be worth it. Whatever it took, would have been worth it for you to say yes,” he said, his voice low and raspy.

“After everything, you still think that?”

Jensen nodded, “Absolutely. What makes you think otherwise? Because of yesterday?”

Y/N shrugged. “Maybe. And, New Year’s… I know we promised to move on but, Jay… I still feel terrible, and–.”

“Don’t. I’m glad it happened the way it did. My head wasn’t ready for it all yet. Neither was yours. But having that time between then and now, I know for sure that whatever this is, isn’t just a passing thing. But I get still being cautious. So, if that means moving slowly towards something, I am happy to take the scenic route.”

“You really mean that?” she asked.

Before he responded, Jensen took a moment, letting his eyes gaze over her face, taking note of every freckle, the little dimples that only appeared when she smiled a certain way and how her eyes softened when she did. It was rare for him to see her like this; free of the facade she put up to keep people at arm’s reach. This was Y/N, real, raw and stunningly beautiful in her vulnerability.

“Yeah, I really mean that. I’m in, Trix. I’m all in. Just promise you won’t shut me out; not about what you feel, not about your past, not about what you want for your future. And I promise you to do the same.”

“Wow… dinner, music, dancing and heartfelt promises… what’s next?”

“Aaand there she is,” he teased, the smiling growing on his lips was still there when he leaned in to kiss her.

Y/N kissed him back as they danced close, eventually resting her head his chest, and his cheek to the top of her head as the song came to a close.

The band took a short intermission, so Jensen and Y/N sat back down and he opened them each another beer. As they got comfortable stretching out on the blanket, she began to look around the park. He watched her closely, something he had become quite fond of doing, and could tell that her mind was plotting and planning for when this park was under their control later that year.

“Stop it,” he chuckled and drank from the bottle.

“Stop what?”

“Planning. Plotting. Whatever you’re doing. No work tonight.”

“I’m not!” she objected and took a sip of her own beer, then shrugged subtly and sighed. “Ok, maybe I was, a little. But, I can’t help myself. I’m excited. Seeing this place set up like this, I can really envision our stage up there when the time comes.”

“It is pretty exciting. Honestly, I can’t believe how close it’s getting. I couldn’t have done it without you, you know.”

“I know,” she sighed, waiting a beat, then winked at him playfully.

“Since it came up… there is one thing we haven’t talked about.”

“What’s that?”

“Well… since I met you, I’ve seen you do burlesque, play piano and sing with Bri, jam with Robbie… but you have yet to sing with me even once.”

“We can sing together anytime, Jay,” she chuckled.

“No, I mean at the festival.”

“You wanna sing with me at Brewfest?” she breathed. “Really?”

“You bet your ass I do, I think we should do a few songs together. Besides that, I think you should get up there with a band and do your own stuff. I know you have songs ready and I also know that Louden Swain would be more than happy to learn them and back you up on stage.”

“I–I don’t know, Jay. I’m doing a number with The Corsettes at one of the theater locations downtown, and I would be thrilled to share a stage with you. I don’t know about my stuff though. It’s not…” she trailed off and shrugged. “It’s just not good enough.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“How would you know? You haven’t even heard it yet,” she laughed and waved him off.

“Because Robbie heard it. I trust Rob and he said its beyond good. Will you at least think about it?”

The stage came to life again as the band returned from the brief intermission. Just as the music picked up again, she turned to Jensen and nodded. “I promise to think about it.”

Jensen leaned over and left a soft kiss on her cheek. “That’s my girl,” he whispered before pulling away and leaning back on his hands; his long legs stretched out before him, giving his attention over to the stage.

Several songs later, Y/N found herself leaning back on her hands as well, her shoulder leaning against Jensen’s, just lazily enjoying the show. The music was heavenly and the air of the evening was deliciously warm with the slightest bit of a breeze. The opening notes of “[Every Breath You Take](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F6lGEqHzDRqLo3YnbCuhzap%3Fsi%3DwnvtSMrWTJSpWtBQlXxUVA&t=ZDI3ZThhNWVkZmE5MzIxNzU1MjQ1NDdmYzAxMjFjNDgzMTJkZTUxNixNM1ozVXoyZw%3D%3D&b=t%3AnhKxeIEmJIrTLZjcVkg3iQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fcoffee-obsessed-writer.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F184970550662%2Fwhen-you-least-expect-it-part-nine&m=0)” began, and it made her sit up a little straighter. The original being a favorite, this particular cover was quite beautiful. As the songstress’ voice filled the park, Y/N couldn’t help but look over at Jensen, who wasn’t watching the stage at all; his eyes were firmly fixed on her.

Jensen sat up. He gingerly took her legs and swung them his way so they were draped over his lap, and slid her across the blanket so she was as close as she could be. She giggled and locked in with his gaze. He left his hand to rest on her knee and leaned in to kiss her again. It was soft and gentle, and when she kissed him back, his hand began to move slightly up her thigh, brushing past the hem of her dress. Her hand was on his cheek, sliding to his jaw than to his collarbone and coming to on the back of his neck.

She tried to remember they were in a public place, but the feel of his lips against hers was too good right then to let go of. With this particular song as the backdrop, she felt herself getting lost in him. Jensen’s lips moved from her mouth but didn’t go far. He left a trail of delicate, lingering kisses along her jaw until he reached her neck. He kissed her there, softly yet wanting. The path of his lips stopped when he reached the collar of her dress, and that’s when he lifted his head and met her gaze.

Jensen caressed her cheek with his hand and smiled wistfully. “So, better than Rome would have been?”

“Way better,” she whispered and leaned into his touch, finding his lips again and continued kissing him sweetly.

It didn’t get heated, or greedy; it was tempered and loving. Just the two of them lost in each other and in the song. When it ended, they let the other go. Jensen put his arm around her and held her as close as he could until PMJ closed the show a short time later.

The drive back to the townhouse was quiet but in a comfortable, contented kind of way. The next day she would be off to Seattle, then to New Jersey. Jensen would be back in Vancouver by the time she returned, so it was their last bit of time together for who knew how long.

He parked the truck and went around to open her door for her.

“I gotta say, Hollywood, you are quite the gentleman. Your mama did a damn good job.”

“I’ll be sure to tell her you said that,” he said, and squeezed her hand.

They strolled up to the front door, neither wanting the night to end, but knowing that it had too. If she was lucky, she could get in four solid hours of sleep before leaving for the airport.

“I feel sixteen again,” Jensen chuckled, feeling a little nervous. “Afraid your dad is gonna start flashing the porch light at us. So, when are we in the same city again?”

Y/N sighed, and Jensen thought she seemed as suddenly anxious as he was. “I’m not sure. I hope soon.”

“Before San Diego would be good. Think we could work that out?”

“I will do some planning on the plane. We’ll make it work.”

“Well, since things are going to get hectic, do me a favor and clear the first weekend in August.”

“August? Why August?”

“Gen is throwing Jared a belated birthday, Luau style.”

“Oh, well now, that seems fun. Are you asking me to be your date?” she asked and raised her brow in question and flashed the impish smile he couldn’t get enough of.

“What do you think?”

“I think I need to find a grass skirt.”

“Oh God, please, yes. Do that.” Jensen bit his lower lip at the thought of it and she smacked him gently. “I guess this is goodnight, huh?”

Y/N’s smile faded and she reluctantly nodded. “Unless you wanna cancel the festival and run off somewhere…” she tried to tease, but there was the underlying disappointment and knowledge that of course, they couldn’t.

“Don’t tempt me, Trix.”

“Alright. Another time, then?”

“Absolutely,” he said, almost breathless at the thought.

They embraced under the light on the porch and held each other for a long minute. Jensen kissed her, and despite the warm night air, ripples of goosebumps cascaded down her arms. He could feel himself craving more of her. Jensen was the first to break away; he had too.

“I should go,” he sighed. “If I don’t…” Jensen just shook his head and ran his tongue out and over his bottom lip.

“I know… I should go, too. Get some sleep. Thank you for tonight. It was perfect.”

“It was pretty perfect, wasn’t it?” He took a step off the porch and started to slowly head for the driveway. He paused and turned around, continuing to walk back towards his truck. “Let me know when you land tomorrow, okay? And how that schedule pans out…”

Y/N nodded, and pulled the door key from her purse and called out to him, “Night, Hollywood.”

She knew she should go in, but she didn’t want to until she saw him in the truck. Knowing he wouldn’t leave until he saw her actually go inside, Y/N unlocked the door and did just that. She closed it behind her, set the deadbolt, then closed her eyes and leaned her back against it.

“Oh, girl… “ she whispered to the empty room. “You are so, incredibly fucked.”

Thirty minutes later, Y/N had retreated up to her room and changed into her pajamas. She’d gone through her nighttime rituals and slipped under the covers with a contented sigh. She grabbed her phone from the nightstand to check her alarm, and before she could navigate to the clock, the phone started to ring. The same mysterious number came up that had been calling on and off since Chicago. She pressed answer and brought it to her ear.

“Hello?”

Silence.

“Look, if you’re gonna keep calling, at least try to scam me or sell me something!” she groaned and waited another second. Ready to hang up, she stopped when she finally heard another voice.

“Stay the fuck away from Jensen. Alright? You’re outta your league here,  _lady._  I saw you two tonight… the way you act around him, disgusting. No one should have had to see that! So why don’t you leave him the fuck alone and go back to that cesspool you came from!”

The other end went silent and the call ended. She immediately went to the call history and hit redial, refusing to let Dee–and she  _knew_  it was Dee–get in the last word. The call wouldn’t connect anytime she tried to dial, it would just beep three times fast, then end the call.

“Sorry, Dee,” Y/N muttered with a breath of anger, as she went back to the call log and blocked the number. “You’re too late, he’s already moved on.” She tossed the cell back to the bedside table and fumed before the image of Jensen floated back in her mind. 

Her beacon of light. She replayed his words “… _I’m all in…”_  and laid back down in the bed. 

“Dee… Nathan… neither one of them are going to ruin this for us,” she whispered as she tried to close her eyes and drift off to sleep. “I won’t let them.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen decides its time to put an ex in their place and while its another month closer to the festival, Y/N is starting to feel the pressure of getting everything done and calls on some reinforcements. But when a call comes in that shakes both Y/N & Jensen badly, they will have to figure how out to navigate this new threat.

Sleep was not her friend. For hours after Y/N received the call warning her to stay away from Jensen, she tossed and turned relentlessly. She couldn’t get the voice out of her mind… it  _was_  Dee; there was no doubt there. The only thing she questioned was if she should tell Jensen. The back and forth arguing she was doing with herself was only making sleep more elusive. As she watched the minutes tick by on the bedside clock, Y/N grew more and more frustrated.

With only two hours left until her alarm was to wake her for the airport, she got out of bed. Her suitcase had already been packed for her coast to coast trip, and for the first time since taking the job, she did not want to go. What she wanted to do, was rewind the clock to the night before and relive her date with Jensen.

It had been a fairytale evening, and for a girl that rarely believed in those kinds of stories, she felt herself longing for the prince to return with her lost slipper. Y/N was tired but yet energized with how to handle the direction everything was taking. The confrontation with Nathan, Jensen having to step in, the date, and now his ex deciding it was her turn to stir up trouble.

She  _had_  to tell him about the call, and soon. It was only fair. He came to her immediately after his conversation with Jared. Didn’t she owe him the same favor? Y/N decided she did. Not only that, but above all else, Jensen was her friend. She had to tell him that Dee had been calling… what made her sit up and take pause though, was that Dee had to know Y/N would say something. So, why make the call?

 _Because she’s jealous and freaked now that she saw you together,_ her subconscious spoke up softly. That little twist in her stomach that came with instincts kicking in churned now and she knew that had to be it. Dee was jealous and scared. The idiot lost a damn good man and when she realized the error of her ways, it was too late. While Y/N didn’t subscribe to the kind of games some women liked to play, she knew the playbook well enough. She would never stoop to that level, but one thing was for sure; this was a move that Dee would come to regret making.

Daylight finally broke and going on no sleep, Y/N got into her favorite pair of Yoga pants and Zeppelin t-shirt, threw on her black Birkenstocks and put the suitcase near the door for when the car arrived to take her to the airport. She figured Jensen would still be sleeping, but she couldn’t go another minute without doing something about the call she got the night before.

Bringing up the messaging app on her phone, Y/N went to Jensen’s messages and bit her lip as she smiled seeing the last few he’d sent her, before sending one of her own.

<< _Hey. Last night was fun. Sad we can’t do it again tonight. Getting ready to go soon, but was hoping we could talk later. Call you when I land._

Y/N sighed and tucked the phone away again, feeling a little better, that she at least put that out there. She had the whole flight to Seattle to try and figure out what she wanted to say about it. At that moment, she felt childish and that she was overreacting. They were adults, after all. So what if Dee called and tried to warn her away from Jensen, it didn’t mean she had to listen. Y/N sat on one of the island stools and let her head rest on her arms folded in front of her on the granite countertop.

“I just wanna sleep,” she whined, tired from both lack of rest and overthinking.

A soft knock came at the door. She looked up curiously before double checking the clock on the stove. The car was more than an hour early; unless it wasn’t the car service…

Y/N was suddenly nervous as she slowly walked towards the door. After Nathan, and then the call, she was more than a little on edge. She stood on her toes and looked through the peephole of the front door and felt a swell of relief, then immediately exhilarated. She unlatched the deadbolt and lock on the handle and opened to see Jensen standing there.

“Hey, Trix. Heard you needed a ride to the airport,” he said, leaning nonchalantly against the door frame with one foot kicked over the other. “Thought I would give ya a lift.” He pushed off with his shoulder and stepped inside, softly closing the door behind him.

“You’re insane,” she chuckled. “Why are you not home sleeping?”

“Figured this would be the last time we saw each other for a while–”

She shook her head and gave him a rueful smile. “You just saw me like, four hours ago.”

“Five, actually. Now I probably won’t see you for a month, so, let me take you to the airport. Gives us another couple hours to hang out.”

“Geez, I dunno… I’m startin’ to think you might like me a little bit…” she teased, which provoked him into grabbing her wrist and playfully pulling her into him.

He wiggled his eyebrows. “Maybe just a little.” Jensen gazed down at her, his green eyes soft while he studied her face. “Did you sleep at all?” he asked quietly, suddenly concerned with how worn out she looked. “You look tired. If the traveling is too much, just say so. We can send someone else out to take care of all this.”

The phone call came forward in her mind.  _Shit,_  she thought _, I wasn’t prepared for this so soon…_

“No, it’s fine. I need to go, especially to Jersey. I just didn’t sleep well,” she breathed and had the sudden urge to lay her head on his chest. She pushed past her anxiety on how he would react and did it anyway. His arms instinctively ensconced her shoulders and his chin rested on her head as he held her.

“Why not?”

Y/N could hear his heart beating in his chest, slow and rhythmic; a sound that she would come to find quite calming. She was about to tell him about the call, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment. Right now, just wanted to be there, in his arms and hear his heart; not talking about exes and phone calls, again.

“Oh, you know… thinking too much,” she said, covering the truth for the time being.

“Well, at least you can snooze on the plane.”

“Exactly, no big deal,” Y/N said and looked up at him. “But I sure am glad you showed up to take me. Now I don’t have to tip the driver.”

“Oh, gonna just use me as a taxi and not even tip me? Wow. Rude. Honestly, I thought your father raised you better than that,” he said, his deadpan expression holding out, but her wide grin and peek-a-boo tongue gliding along her bottom lip finally made him crack a smile.

“I’ll tip you, Hollywood. No worries. Just not gonna be in cold hard cash,” she purred and stood up on her tiptoes to leave a long kiss on his cheek.

“Well… when you put it that way…” Jensen said and she could have sworn she saw a flush of color touch the height of his cheekbones.

“So, any chance there’s time for a coffee run before we gotta be there? Maybe even a bagel?”

“Well, coffee yes. But a bagel? No. Now you’re just being unreasonable.”

She groaned, rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. “You’re gonna make me beg? For a bagel?”

“Oh, darlin’,” Jensen chuckled as he leaned down and kissed her softly, “if I wanted you to beg, it would be for a whole lot more than a bagel. But no time for that now. Come on, let’s go grab some coffee.”

Y/N just stared at him, giving him that ‘ _I-can’t-believe-you-just-went-there_ ’ look. Jensen flashed her an impish smile, clearly as payback for her innuendo, then grabbed her suitcase and headed for the door.

Twenty minutes later, Y/N had a coffee and bagel in hand as Jensen directed his truck towards the airport. It was quiet, but not in their normal, comfortable sort of way. She needed to talk to him about Dee, but it didn’t feel like the time; either that or she was just procrastinating and avoiding the inevitable. He hadn’t brought up the text message she sent either, but as they drove down the freeway she could feel his eyes wander over to her.

“What?” she asked and nibbled at the bagel.

“Nothing,” he said and shrugged with his expression. “You’re just quiet. You’re never quiet.”

“Just tired,” she replied, trying to be casual and shrugged it off.

“Nah, it’s more than that. Come on, spill it. What’s up?”

Y/N kept her focus on the bagel, as she ripped off a small piece of dough and ate it. “Did you, uh… did you happen to see the text I sent you?”

“Oh, yeah. I got it just as I was getting to your place and then I forgot. What did you wanna talk about? Is, whatever it is, why you seem… not yourself?”

She nodded slightly, as a defeated sigh escaped her lips. “I kept getting these calls, on and off for a while now. Honestly, I thought they were Nathan, or maybe even my brother.”

At the mention of Nathan, Jensen’s entire body tensed up. “Nathan’s calling you?” he asked through tight, pursed lips.

“No… it wasn’t him. I thought it was for a minute though. So last night when they called–”

“Last night? When last night?”

“After you brought me home. I went to bed and the same number called. I finally answered it.”

“If it wasn’t Nathan, then who?”

She cast her eyes down on the bagel again. “I don’t have any proof other than the voice, but… I’m pretty sure it was Dee.” Y/N swallowed nervously and then hesitantly looked in his direction. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you–”

“What did she say?” His eyes were still set straight ahead, and he was white-knuckling the steering wheel.

“I don’t remember word for word, but the gist was to stop seeing you.”

Jensen’s mouth pulled into a thin line, and she could see him biting down on his bottom lip. “I need you to try and remember, okay? Please?”

Y/N thought back to the call but didn’t want to reiterate it word for word. She tried to think of a way to make it not seem so bad, then immediately got mad at herself. Why should she protect Dee, or make this easier for her in any way?  _SHE_ was the one who not only called but broke Jensen’s heart, left him for someone else without a word. Y/N’s need to avoid further conflict fell by the wayside, and she told him everything.

“She basically said to stay away from you, and that she saw us last night at the concert. The way I act around you is disgusting and I am out of my league with you. Also, I should go back to the cesspool I came from.”

Jensen fought the urge to pull the truck over and call Dee right there. Instead, he re-adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. “What else?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“Nothing. She hung up after that.”

“Are you alright? I mean, after what happened with Nathan, and now this…” he trailed off, and though the anger wasn’t prominent in his expression, she could feel it coming off of him in waves.

“I’m alright. Just annoyed I guess. I blocked the number. What pisses me off is that she thinks she has the right to say who deserves to be in your life. What right does she have after what she did to you?”

That made the corner of his mouth tug into a small smile. “I guess what Jared said was true,” he sighed and finally took his eyes off the road briefly and turned his head to look at her. “I’m sorry she’s putting you in the middle of this.”

“Please, after what Nathan did? This is nothing.”

“But it’s  _not_  nothing, Y/N. I don’t care about what she did to me. I do care, however, that she’s bringing you into it just because she’s changed her mind. I’m pissed at myself for believing that she just wanted to be friends again and for letting her back in at all.”

“Sure does sound familiar,” Y/N mumbled and noticed Jensen smirk at her words. “Don’t be mad at yourself, Jay. You were just doing what you thought was best. I wasn’t even going to bring it up. I did because you were so upfront about talking to her and I don’t want to see her fuck with you, again.”

Jensen glanced over at her and smiled sweetly. Y/N saw that it wasn’t completely genuine, but she didn’t take it personally. She just hated that he would beat himself up for a while, though it wasn’t his fault.

“Listen,” he started and glanced back at her before looking back at the scant traffic before him. “I need you to know that I have zero interest in her–”

“I know that.”

“You sure? No doubt in your mind?”

Y/N wrapped the bagel and put it back in the bag before unbuckling her seat belt, and sliding across the bench seat towards him. The moment her hand touched his arm, she felt his muscles relax and heard a breath of air sigh from his lips. Taking his right hand off the steering wheel, he moved his arm so she could tuck into his side. Jensen’s arm wrapped around her shoulders and held her while he drove down the freeway.

“Zero doubt,” she sighed and for the first time since she had gotten the call, she felt calm and relaxed enough to sleep.

 

Jensen went with Y/N as far into the airport as he could, having to say their goodbyes before the security checkpoint. They kept it short and sweet, not wanting to draw attention for Jensen’s sake. He made her promise to call when she landed, and she made him promise not to commit a felony where Dee was concerned.

He watched her go and was struck by how much he was going to miss her. Jensen leaned back against one of the large columns and waited until she disappeared into the sea of people coming and going before finally leaving the terminal.

Once he was back in his truck, he took note of the time and decided it was now or never. He pulled out his phone and brought up Dee’s contact, and hit the call button. It took only two rings for her to pick up, and she was already wide awake and overly exuberant answering the call.

“Hi, Jensen!” she said before he could even draw in a breath. “This is such a nice surprise!”

He chuckled as pleasantly as he could. “Hi, Dee. How’s it going?”

“Good! Just getting ready to leave. I have an early call today, so, thought I’d get a jump on the day. You’re rarely up this early, what’s going on?”

“Oh nothing, just heard you were in town and thought maybe we could meet up for coffee today. Catch up a bit.” He tried to keep his voice as even-keeled as possible, but the frustration he felt towards her was slowly winning out. “If you’re free that is.”

“I could be! Especially to have coffee with you. Around one ok?”

“Yeah, perfect. Name the place.”

“There’s a cool little cafe around the corner from where we’re filming today, called Cuppa. They have this amazing Brazilian blend, you’ll love it!”

“Sound great. Meet ya there round one,” he replied, not wanting to get roped into small talk. “I gotta run, but, uh, have a good day on set and I’ll see ya then.”

“Ok! I’m so excited! So, glad you called, by–”

Jensen hung up and tossed the phone aside, his features set in a scowl. He had a few hours where he could calm down and recenter himself before seeing her. He’d promised Y/N he wouldn’t be too harsh, but there were a few things he was itching to say. Jensen had never been the kind of guy to be purposefully cruel, and it was going to take a lot of willpower on his part to stay that way. But… Y/N asked, so he had to try.

Later that afternoon, he found himself sitting in the back corner of the terrace at Cuppa. Dee was right, the Brazilian blend was great and he made a note to get some for his place.  _At least this wouldn’t be a total waste of time_ , he thought as he brought the mug to his lips.

Just as he was setting it back down, Dee appeared from inside the cafe and found him in the quiet nook of the patio. He stayed in his chair instead of standing as a gentleman should, and watched her through narrowed eyes as she nearly floated across terrace.

“Hey,” she smiled brightly, before pulling out a chair to join him. She re-adjusted her oversized-brim hat and rested her clutch on the table. “You look great! How have you been?”

“Not bad. Yourself?” Jensen asked, trying to soften the way he was looking at her, but it was a hard thing for him to control now that she was actually there in front of him. The sight of this one woman, someone he used to love and care for so much, was now making him feel anger and regret. It was an odd sensation because so much of her was the same–from the wide-brimmed hat she wore to the color of her lipstick–she was physically so familiar. But emotionally, she felt incredibly different and Jensen was struggling to understand how he had loved her the way he did.

“Oh you know, livin’ the dream,” she chuckled.

The waitress came around and took her order. Jensen told her he was fine, and she went off to retrieve Dee’s request.

“I was so surprised to get your call today! I mean, it was a great surprise, just unexpected. Figured you would be getting ready to leave for Vancouver.”

“I am, in a couple days, actually. I just heard you were in town and like I said, wanted to catch up. How’s, uh… what was his name again? Greg? Gordon?”

“Grayson. And, we broke up,” she replied with a heavy sigh. “It just wasn’t working out.”

“Ohh,” Jensen said with a frown. “That’s too bad.”

“It is,” she sighed, and looked up at him from under the brim of her hat with sad, wide eyes.

She knew just how to look at him to get the maximum response. Back when they were together, she could use this same look a million different times to get what she wanted. All she would have to do is look at him as she was then, pout her lip and he’d cave to her. Not now. Not anymore.

The waitress appeared at the table and placed Dee’s coffee before her, then asked if they needed anything else before walking away.

“Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you,” he said, unsure of when he wanted to segway into why he really called her here. Part of him wanted to see how long she could go on this way, batting her eyes and trying to be sweet; part of him wanted to let her know that this was never going to happen. Part of him wanted to really make her understand that he wasn’t going to put up with her drama. And if that meant he had to be firmer than he would like…

“…Jensen?” Dee said, waved her hand in front of his face. “You still with me?”

“Hmm?” he asked, snapping out of the fog of thoughts that clouded him. “Yeah, sorry, drifted for a minute. You were saying?”

“Just that… I should have known Grayson wasn’t right for me. I was so stupid…” she trailed off, pouting her bottom lip slightly and allowing her eyes to fill with regret.

Jensen nearly choked on his coffee, but recovered and placed the cup back to the table. “Well, you know everything happens for a reason, Dee.”

“It does,” she said and leaned across the table to cover his hand with hers for a tender moment before leaning back in her chair. “It really does. That’s why I was so happy you called me today. I was really hoping to see you so we could do just what we’re doing. Catch up, talk face to face. Maybe…” she trailed off again and shrugged timidly.

“Maybe, what?” he asked.

“See more of each other, I’m hoping.”

Jensen let her request hang in the space between them. He leaned his elbows on the table, and reached across for her hand, giving it a slight squeeze. He knew if he gave her enough time, she’d give him the perfect opportunity to say his peace.

“Oh, sweetheart… that’s  _not_  gonna happen,” Jensen replied in his most condescending tone and yet continued to hold her hand, but in no way that could be construed as loving or sweet. “You see, I am already seeing someone and last night, you called her. You had the nerve to tell her to back off from me. This, just two days after you were telling Gen that you wanted us to get back together.” Jensen bent his head to the side slightly and smiled, but there was no humor behind it.

Dee’s expression fell as she slowly pulled her hand out of his. The radiant smile she had been wearing broke into pieces as Jensen’s quiet admonishing continued.

“You had the  _balls_ , to call Y/N, tell her to stay away, that she was out of her league. Then–”

“I know what I said,” Dee bit back, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Did you think she wouldn’t tell me?”

Dee shrugged again and averted her eyes. “I was pissed, okay? I saw you two at the Jazzfest and it pissed me off. I was drinking and I made a phone call. Sue me.”

“You know, I may have bought that, but it wasn’t the first call though, was it? You’ve been calling Y/N, on and off, for weeks. This is just the first time she picked up.”

Dee didn’t respond, she just sat and stewed, feeling her anger grow each time she heard Jensen say Y/N’s name.

“Oh, but how she spoke to me on New Year’s, that was okay?”

“That whole night is a little fuzzy for me still, but from what I do remember, she tried to be civil.”

“Oh, well, good for her,” Dee scoffed and drank her coffee, if for no other reason then to have something to do besides getting chastised by him.

“What I don’t get is, why? What the hell do you gain from this? Why would you tell Gen–”

“How do you even know about that?”

“It doesn’t matter, Dee. What matters is your delusional enough to think any of this would work. We’re done. You left. Eventually, I got over it.”

Dee leaned into the conversation and lowered her voice, biting back at him. “YOU were supposed to propose. You had the ring! But then, what? Chickened out? I did what I did because I thought it would help you along to  _finally_  make it official. It was supposed to be you and me forever! But no, you had to go and meet someone else!”

Jensen sat up straighter, his expression a mix of confusion and anger. “What the HELL are you talking about? Who said I had a ring?!”

“A friend of mine saw you in the jewelry store. She said you left with a ring box,” Dee replied smugly. “If you had just proposed… none of this would have happened. We wouldn’t have missed out on a year together,” she hissed and sat back in her chair again.

“Wait a fucking minute…” Jensen paused to collect himself, afraid if he didn’t that the other patrons would get quite a show. “… are you telling me you left me for that guy, solely to provoke me into proposing? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you know what that did to me? You leaving, without a  _fucking_  word?” With each thought, his temper was rising along with the volume of his words. “Do you  _care_  what that did? NO! ‘Cause why would you?!”

“Jensen… I…” she stammered, taken back by the height of his anger.

“Yeah, go ahead, I dare you to try and justify anything. Just for the record, I did have a ring. I bought one two months before you left. I never gave it to you because I wasn’t sure if you were the right one. Something in my gut told me to wait… best fucking decision I ever made. Wanna know why? Because you leaving me, led me to a woman that doesn’t play games. She doesn’t fuck with people’s feeling for sport. She’s good and genuine, and kind. I’ll be damned if I will let you fuck with her, too!”

Jensen stood from the table and reached for his wallet to leave money for the coffee. He stopped and put it back in his back pocket. “You know what, buy your own damn coffee.” He started to walk away but hesitated and turned back, leaning down so his lips were only a few inches from her ear.

“If I find out that you came within ten feet of Y/N, or that you tried to contact her again in any way–or me for that matter–I promise that you will be sorry that you ever met me. Got it?”

Dee straightened her back and turned to face him. Their eyes were locked, and Jensen’s lips snarled into a warning smile when he saw the utter indigence on her face. “Don’t push me, Dee. You won’t like how I react.”

“I hear you loud and clear,” she replied flatly. When he turned to walk away, she didn’t bother looking over her shoulder. She knew he would leave without looking back.

Dee waited at the table for a few minutes, casually drinking her coffee, rattled by the conversation that just took place. She did her best to collect herself before reaching into her clutch and pulling out her phone. She searched her contacts, found who she was looking for and hit call. Two rings, and he answered.

“Hey, it’s Dee. I need you to do some digging for me,” she paused and waited for him to reply. “Yes, the name is Y/F/N L/N, all I know is she’s from Seaside, New Jersey. Call me back with what you find out.”

Dee ended the call, drained the rest of the coffee from her cup and rose from the table just as the waitress returned. As she left Cuppa’s garden terrace and made her way back to the set, all the kinds of ideas were starting to come to mind. Some she thought were doable, others may be taking it too far. All she knew then, is that she wasn’t completely done with Y/N yet.

 

A month of travel, twelve-hour work days and unending conference calls had left Y/N tired, cranky and ready for a vacation. The work that was starting to pile up was overwhelming, and while she had a supportive team of people around her, it was still adding up to be more then she could handle.

In a momentary breakdown, she called on two of the people she knew she could count on, that wasn’t currently filming in Vancouver. Jensen’s schedule had been impossible to try and get around, and she refused to spend the time she did have on the phone with him complaining about how much work there was. Thankfully, Briana and Mama both answered her distress call and after a little bit of rearranging, were due to arrive in Austin the next day. They both insisted on getting themselves to the townhouse, so Y/N wasn’t running back and forth from the airport. For once, she didn’t try to fight them on it.

Y/N wasn’t exactly surprised that they became fast friends, as they were similar in so many ways. Watching them interact was the kind of entertainment that Y/N didn’t realize she needed at that moment. The first night the three of them spent in the townhouse, working, laughing, eating and drinking, was the best help Y/N could have received; both for relieving the stress of work, and the emotional support provided.

The hours ticked by and when the first bottle of wine had been finished, Y/N went down to the kitchen to grab the second bottle. As she was rifling through the drawer for the corkscrew, her phone began to vibrate in her pocket. She fished it out and saw Jensen’s name on the screen.

“Hey there stranger,” she greeted, tucking the phone between her ear and shoulder while continuing to search for the gadget. “How’s it going?”

“Not too bad, how’s things back home?”

“Oh you know, a hot mess. But at least Bri and Mama are here to wallow in it with me.”

“Bri and Mama are in the same room and I’m missing it? That seems wildly unfair,” Jensen groaned.

“You have no idea. Rehearsals tomorrow should be a hoot,” she chuckled and finally found what she was looking for. “You guys done for the day?”

“Nah, just taking a dinner break. I wanted to tell you there was a slight change of plans.”

She froze mid uncorking and sighed. “Oh no… what?”

“Nothing bad,” he laughed. “Jared’s party… not August. They had to shuffle some things around so it’s weekend after next.”

“Wait… that means you’ll be back before Comic-Con, then?” Y/N felt a burst of excitement flood her chest. “Really?”

Jensen laughed softly. “Yeah, really. In fact, I should be back by early next week. So, maybe we plan that second date. Whatcha say?”

Y/N bit down on her lower lip and inhaled deeply, trying to be suave and cool when really she wanted to flail and scream with all the pent up giddiness he stirred in her.

“Well, I haven’t found my grass skirt yet, but I am sure I can make that work.”

“Atta girl, Trix. So now, what’s this about rehearsals tomorrow?” he asked in a low, playful voice. “What kind of rehearsals are we talking about? Seems a little early for rehearsals, no?”

“Well, with Mama here, we’re going to head over to the Rollins Studio Theater tomorrow night, and run through a few things. She can see the layout of the stage, meet the musicians and stuff like that. Bri is going to stand in for one of the other girls and we have a couple local dancers coming from the troupe I found here.”

“Are you singing?”

“In the routine, yeah, I am. Mama’s condition to bring the troupe out was that I do a number with them. She’s  _dyyyying_  to direct me for a change, so this should be a whole lotta fun. I’m sure she’ll want me to do something tomorrow, but I am going to try and talk her out of it.”

“Yeah, you know that won’t happen. And, what’s worse is, I’m missing it. Have I said that this is incredibly unfair?”

“Once or twice…” she giggled. “Hey… Jay?”

“Yeah?”

A loud burst of laughter came from above, followed by two sets of footsteps coming down the stairs. Y/N sighed softly and knew that she’d have to cut the call short.

“I’m really glad you’re coming back early. I miss you,” she mumbled the last bit, wanting desperately to tell him how much, but just glad she was able to say it at all. Despite how well their date went, not seeing him for nearly a month was making some old anxieties settle in.

“I miss you too. Promise, you’ll see me soon.”

“Gonna give me that boy scout salute bullshit again?” she laughed.

“Nah. I’ve moved on to pinky promises,” he teased.

Mama and Bri appeared in the kitchen and stopped when they saw Y/N on the phone. Both with their brows raised in curiosity, then whispering to each other followed by hushed giggles.

“Well, I have an audience now, so I’ll let you go. Talk soon?”

“Absolutely. I’ll call you tomorrow, and you can tell me all about your pajama party. Night, Trix.”

“Night, Jay.”

Y/N ended the call and slowly put it back in her pocket before meeting their inquisitive gaze.

“Well?!” Bri whined.

“Well, what?” Y/N laughed nervously and went back to opening the wine.

“Oh no, you are  _not_  gonna play coy with us, girlie. Pour the damn wine and then spill your damn guts. Miss Bri and I were just talkin’ upstairs and agreed it’s been way too long since you gave either of us an update.”

“Life’s been a smidge busy,” she said just as the cork finally popped.

“I couldn’t care less how busy you’ve been. Last we sat and talked about Mr. Dreamy was way back in January, and you made me a promise. Did you fulfill it?”

“What promise?” Bri asked, looking excitedly between Y/N and Mama.

Mama raised her thick brows inquisitively. “Well, you gonna tell the girl or am I?”

“Fine. Mama made me promise to come back here and tell Jensen that I was interested,” she replied quickly, hoping for no follow-ups, but knew she would be disappointed.

“Annnd…” Mama prodded. “There was something else in that promise.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “And kiss him.”

“Ohhhh…” Bri giggled and excitedly clapped her hands. “Well, Mama, I am happy to report that she kept her promise. Saw it with my own two eyes!”

“Oh Lordy, thank ya, Jesus!” Mama raised her hands to the sky and bowed her head. “And…. now, tell me all about it.”

“Mama…”

“No, now you listen. That boy is downright delicious. You can’t tell me that you kissed him and not give details,” Mama said, crossed her arms over her ample bosom and turned to Briana for support.

“Boy is he…” Bri mused and then cleared her throat. “And Mama’s right… I mean I saw that sweet little kiss at the bar, but I know you two went out to Jazzfest and I’m not real happy I didn’t get an immediate phone call when you got home.”

Y/N flashed to the call and subsequent brief drama with Dee. Deciding to leave that out, for the time being, she apologized. “I’m sorry. It was late and I had to leave early the next day.”

“Please tell me you invited him in…” Mama pleaded but could see by Y/N’s expression it was her turn to be disappointed.

“Are we going back upstairs? Cause I could really use some of this wine now,” Y/N said and exhaled deeply.

When neither Bri nor Mama turned for the stairs, Y/N grabbed three fresh wine glasses from the cabinet and filled them halfway. She drank two big gulps of hers and could feel both sets of eyes on her as she did.

“No,” she managed to squeak out after finishing most of the wine. “He didn’t spend the night.”

“Jesus wept,” Mama moaned and pulled out one of the island stools. “What in heaven’s name were you thinkin’?”

Y/N was quiet. She didn’t know how to answer, exactly. When she didn’t respond at all, Mama kept going.

“Suga, you gotta stop being so scared and let the man in. I’m glad you two are finally gettin’ on the right path, but you gotta be bold. Take the initiative. Ask the man to spend the–”

“June!” Y/N barked suddenly, catching Mama off guard.

“Using my Christian name… that’s my sign to shut up…” Mama explained to Briana in a hushed tone.

“I’m sorry, Mama, I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s just that I know… okay? You don’t think I want to sleep with him? Ask him to spend the night? Of course, I do! I like him, a lot. I want that to happen… but…”

“But what, honey?” Bri asked, and lovingly laid a hand on top of Y/N’s.

“I’m scared.” Y/N felt her entire body fill with relief at the admission. Scared didn’t begin to cover it really. There was a whole host of emotions that began to flow at the thought of being more intimate with Jensen. That kind of vulnerability seemed like pressure she wasn’t completely ready for.

“After what you’ve been through, I can understand that completely,” Mama said. “But you use fear as a cloak to shield yourself. You can’t do that forever.”

“No, but I can take it off slowly.”

“Touché. But… allow me to play devil’s advocate… this man likes you, clearly. You want him just as much. What’s it gonna take for you to trust him enough, to let this guard of yours down?”

“It’s down, trust me. I’m just not ready to bare everything, okay? I know we have this crazy chemistry, I feel it every damn time the man looks at me. But, what if we sleep together and he’s disappointed. Being with someone like him…” Y/N snorted a laugh and refilled her glass, promptly taking a large gulp. “His ex… I hate the woman but damn, she’s… she’s gorgeous and worldly, and… I can’t live up to that.”

“Honey…” Bri started and stopped when Y/N’s expression pleaded with her to do so. She held her hands up in relent but continued with another thought. “Trust me when I tell you, Jensen is the most  _regular_  guy you’ll ever know. He’s just some down-home boy, who likes to play music, make people laugh, cleans up real nice and just wants to love all over you. He’s not anything like what most people perceive him to be.”

“I know that,” Y/N replied quietly, keeping her eyes glued to her glass while her fingers toyed with the stem.

“Ok. So then, what is it really?” Bri asked, trying to encourage her to open up and talk through whatever it was she needed to. “Because let me tell you, I don’t care who he was within the past, he’s only got eyes for you right now.”

Y/N looked up and met their gazes. She felt the sting of emotion at the corner of her eyes and furrowed her brow trying to decide if she could actually say the words that came forth in response to Briana’s question.

“Because, if we sleep together, that’s it, I’ll be gone. I’ll fall in love with him and then everything will fall apart.” A stray tear or two fell, but she was able to keep her emotions in check.

Bri put an arm around her and rested her head on her shoulder. “You don’t know that.”

“Maybe not, but that’s what I’m afraid of. And for as far as Jensen and I have come, as much as I care about him and trust him; part of me is just waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

“Y/N, you listen to Mama now, okay?” Mama said, leaning across the counter and squeezing her hand. “No matter what comes at you, you can handle it. And if the other shoe does drop, well then, you let it go, put on your best stilettos and keep on fucking walking.”

“I just don’t know if I’m that brave, Mama. Look, I love you both for being so supportive, but honestly, I just want to get the work done and get some sleep. Talking about all this right now just feels overwhelming and tomorrow is going to be a long ass day.”

Mama and Bri exchanged a look of empathy for their friend when Y/N cast her eyes down to her fingers that were still fidgeting with the stem of the glass.

“Alright, Y/N. That’s alright by us. Come on, let’s get the bottle, another round of snacks and finalize these last minute changes, ok?” Bri hugged her a little tighter and got Y/N to smile.

“Yes, that I can do,” she said and swiped at the last tear that fell to her cheek. “That I can definitely do.”

The next day was more running around including meeting with the equipment rental representatives, dropping off some new plans to the city planner’s office, as well as swinging by the seamstress’ shop to pick up the dress Mama insisted Y/N wear when she performs with The Corsettes. Once the trio had completed all the tasks and had a quick lunch at Salty Sow, Y/N brought them over to the Rollins Theater and introduced them both to the local Burlesque troupe that agreed to join them on stage.

Mama was in her glory putting them on stage and talking with the musicians that came to sit in to play for the rehearsal. While she was putting her magic into action, Y/N brought the dress and accessories back to the dressing rooms, with Bri following close behind her.

“How ya feeling today, honey? Any better?”

“As far as…?”

“Just overall stress. I know you’re feeling the pinch of things, so if you need to delegate anymore work, I’m here for it. I cleared everything, booked myself a luxurious room and I’m staying in town til after Jared’s party. So use and abuse me, okay?”

Y/N chuckled and hung the dress up on the back of the door. “You’re amazing and I’d be lost without you,” Y/N smiled and hugged her friend. “I promise I will delegate. But I feel okay at the moment. I guess I’m just tired… it’s been a long few weeks.”

“Weeks? Try months, but yeah, it has been especially for you. You are kicking some serious ass with all this. You know that, right?”

Y/N shrugged. “I guess. I mean everything is on schedule, I think. Event planning isn’t exactly my forte, and I tried explaining that to Jensen when we first met, but…. you know him.”

“I do. Get an idea in that man’s head and it’s impossible to deter him.”

“Exactly. Stubborn as a mule, that one.”

They both had a good laugh at that, as Bri walked over to unzip the garment bag. “Holy mother of shit!” she exclaimed as she carefully removed it from the bag. “This is what you’re wearing?!”

Y/N nodded. “Mama insisted.”

“Well? Let’s see it on ya!” Bri said, more than a little giddy as she removed it from the hanger. “Here, you get dressed, I’ll go see if she’s ready for you.”

“Nooo, no. This is for dress rehearsals. Tonight is just the start of her putting a routine together now that she’s seen the stage. I just brought it in–”

“To try on and walk your cute little ass out on the stage. I will accept no other answer,” Bri interjected. “Now, please,” she sang cheerily but with that tone of ‘you best just do it’.

“And they call me bossy,” Y/N mumbled, then winked at Bri when she gave her that chastising raise of her brow.

“Five minutes, or I come and find you…” Bri warned as she opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.

“Yes ma’am,” Y/N chuckled and waited until she was gone to let her smile fade away.

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and took a few deep breaths. The last couple of weeks had felt overwhelmingly hard, and she wasn’t sure why. Yes, there was a lot to do, and yes, she was doing most of it on her own now that more than half her team was working in Vancouver; but it was more than  _just_ that.

It was everything; Nathan showing up, Dee’s interference, Jensen’s… presence. She found it hard to focus on everything she needed to when really all she wanted to do was just take off with him to somewhere quiet and deserted; where it could just be the two of them and they could finally have peace and time to explore what it could be like being together.

 _Peace and time brings peace of mind_ , her mind sang out unprompted. It was her father’s mantra, especially when he was a few beers in and wallowing in his despair. He would repeat it to himself over and over when he was trying to ‘right the ship’, as he would say.

“Dad, help me out here,” Y/N whispered to the empty room. “I just need some kind of sign that this is right, that all of this… is where I’m supposed to be. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, daddy, and I’m scared. I don’t just mean the work, I’m talking about Jensen, too. Please…” she pleaded, closing her eyes and swallowing hard. “Just the smallest hint of a sign…”

The room was silent, not that she expected anything different but she wished for it harder than she’d ever wished for anything before. A few minutes went by before she was finally able to pull herself up and change into the dress. She decided to forgo the accessories, for now, hoping that both Mama and Bri would be appeased by at least seeing the dress on her.

As she made her way onto the stage, she exhaled slowly and adjusted the bodice of the dress. She was surprised by everything that had been done already and felt a little bit of relief knowing that so much was being handled without her having to oversee it all. The musicians were getting set, Mama and the dancers were huddled in a loose circle and getting to know each other, while Briana was sitting at the piano that was on stage left.

“Well damn, girl,” Bri said and whistled as she swung her legs to the other side of the piano bench. “You look amazing!”

“Thanks,” Y/N smiled. “Not the complete ensemble, but if you think my feet are getting in those boots tonight, you’re sadly mistaken.”

“Just the dress is fine. Gonna be a few though till they’re ready to anything that we could help with,” Bri stood from the bench and motioned for Y/N to sit. “Why don’t you play something. See how the acoustics sound in here.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” she agreed and adjusted the dress so she could sit easier. “What should I play? You gonna sing for me?”

“No, not tonight. I’ll go up in the back row, see how it sounds. You sing whatever you feel, honey.” Bri gave her a wink, and it did not go unnoticed by Y/N that she turned and gave Mama a knowing glance, too.

Y/N felt like they were sharing some kind of secret, but pushed it aside for the time being. Y/N didn’t know what to play, really. She hovered her hands over the ivory keys and waited until she saw Bri pick a seat in the back of the theater and sit down.

Since they had become friends over the past six months, Y/N made it her mission to hear every song Briana had recorded and fell in love with each and every one. Something moved her to pick one of those songs, and her hands found the proper starting keys.

Y/N played the melody from Bri’s cover of “How Will I Know?”; maybe it was all the talk of being with Jensen, or maybe, a residual question left over from the earlier prayer she sent up to her father. Either way, that was the song that first came to mind, so that’s what she played.

When the first few notes from the piano filled the theater, then followed by the soft tone of her voice, everyone on the stage stopped what they were doing and turned to watch her play. She didn’t need the mic turned on that sat on top of the piano, her voice carried through to the back of the quiet theater easily.

**_“Oh, it’s you, I know…_  
You’re the one I dream of  
Looks into, my eyes, take me to the clouds above  
How I lose control, can’t seem to get enough  
When I wake, from dreaming, tell me is it really love…”**

A couple of the musicians on the other end of the stage picked up the beat on drums and percussion, falling easily into the soft, rhythmic tempo of the piano. They kept the instrumentals mellow, while still adding more depth to her already rich tone.

Y/N closed her eyes and started getting lost in what she was singing. Her mind completely forgot about the people around her, as she sang the lines of the song more to herself than anyone else in the room.

**_“How will I know, if you really love me?_  
I say a prayer with every heartbeat  
I fall in love whenever we meet  
I’m asking you, what you know about these things?”**

**_“How will I know, if you’re thinking of me?_  
I try to phone, but I’m too shy, can’t speak  
Falling in love, is so bittersweet  
This love is strong, why do I feel weak…”**

She transitioned into the second verse, thinking about Jensen and all that has been happening around them, to them… and when the chorus came around again, she could feel herself sing the words with a break in her voice. Y/N was using the music to speak and expel the overall feeling of desperation to understand how she  _would_ know that everything would ultimately be okay with Jensen. That she could take that step and let him in completely without losing herself in the process.

**_Falling in love, is so bittersweet  
This love is strong, why do I feel weak…”_ **

The last note fell from her lips, and with it, the weight of her question. Her fingers landed on the last two keys, and the moment the reverberation from them stopped, the small audience on the stage, and the one out in the theater applauded. The sound of it pulled Y/N out of her mental space and back to reality, where she finally noticed how many people had been watching her sing. She felt a rush of embarrassment flood her face, her cheeks burning hot with knowing there were at least twenty people scattered around the theater just saw her perform so raw.

Jensen watched from the vestibule of the theater.

The moment that he had hung up with her yesterday, he knew he needed to come home. He hadn’t planned on coming back until the morning of Jared’s party, but there was something he heard in her voice that went beyond her being tired or overwhelmed. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but something in his gut was telling him he needed to come back. Not just to help with her workload, or even to bear witness to Briana and Mama Mia meeting for the first time. Though, if he was being honest with himself, it was the cherry on the sundae.

He sped from the airport to reach the Rollins Theater before Bri said they were due to arrive, but of course, traffic got in his way. Once he finally got there, he quietly came in through the main doors, and that’s when he heard her voice. From the first note that touched his ears, he felt like he had the wind knocked out of him. There was something about the sound of her singing that always made him feel that way.

Jensen peeked in the one theater door that was propped open and saw her there at the piano. Everyone else that was on the stage had been frozen in place as she sang; just as he was there by the door.

“Hey!” Bri said in a rough whisper from his right side. When he turned, he saw her there mid-row, watching Y/N sing up on the stage. “You made it! Come sit!” She patted the seat beside her and Jensen made his way down the row of seats to meet her.

He bent down, kissed her cheek in greeting and sat on the plush red theater chair. “Did she find out I was coming?” he asked nervously.

“Nope, doesn’t suspect a thing. Thought you were gonna be here earlier.”

“Traffic,” he grumbled but didn’t remove his eyes from the stage. “What is she  _wearing_?” His eyes widened with excitement when he realized she was in costume. He thought back to that first night when he went to the rehearsal at the Bamboo and how quickly smitten he had become with her. Now… he was far beyond smitten.

“Mama apparently is making her wear it for whatever routine she puts together. I saw it and made her put it on.” Bri giggled and lightly elbowed him in the arm. “You’re welcome.”

Jensen laughed softly and gave her a nod of appreciation, but didn’t want to respond. He just wanted to listen to Y/N sing and get lost in the sound of her voice. The way each lyric projected from her lips, and the way her fingers brushed against the ivory, it was as if she were painting with sound. Her talent filled him with an enormous rush of feeling and as the song carried through the auditorium effortlessly, each word felt like magic to his ears. She was soulful and raw, and he found himself falling more and more in love with her.

That realization hit with a force that physically knocked him back; something that did not go unnoticed by Briana.

“You alright there, buddy?” she chuckled quietly. “You’re looking a little green. Jet lag got ya down?”

“N-No, it’s… “ his thoughts broke off and he went quiet.

Bri studied his face for a minute, and when she came to understand his wistful, yet petrified expression, she sat back and smiled wide enough to bring out her cavernous dimples.

“Well, ho-ly shit. Jensen Ackles… you look me in the eyes and tell me… do you love this girl?”

His attention snapped back to Bri, surprised at how easily she could read him. “What? No. Huh?” he scrunched his face and shook his head, stuttering any response that tried to leave his mouth. When he turned back to the stage, and once again heard her voice, he knew he couldn’t even pretend to hide it anymore. This time, when Jensen turned back to Bri, he simply nodded.

Briana’s larger than life smile faded into something softer, and she put her arm around his shoulder. “You gonna tell her?” she asked.

He shook his head slowly. “Not yet. I need time to sit with it. Make sure its… real.”

Just then, Y/N finished the song. The last couple notes reverberated off the plush walls of the theater prompting the people on stage to applaud. Bri stood and did the same enthusiastically before she shuffled behind the seats and down the aisle. Jensen stood from his seat and slowly made his way out of the row and down the aisle towards the stage.

He watched as the recognition of his presence hit her. For him it felt like slow motion; from seeing her smile as their eyes locked, to her moving in his direction, he watched her and the flutter of excitement came alive in his stomach. Jensen didn’t realize how much he needed to see her. After a month of just phone calls and FaceTime, the idea that he could touch her again was bordering on overwhelming. He wanted to grab her and kiss her, sweep her up off her feet; but given their audience, kept his need to touch her in check

“What are you doing here?!” she asked, through a wide, cheeky grin. “You’re supposed to be in Vancouver!”

“Guy can’t change his plans–” he was interrupted by Y/N throwing her arms up around his neck and embracing him tightly.

Time seemed to stop for a second. Jensen hugged her back with all he had and relished in the scent of her hair, the softness of her skin, and how easily she fit into his arms like that last, perfect piece of the puzzle. He could feel her body relax into his and felt like he could close his eyes and stand there just holding her forever.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispered before loosening her grip on him and pulling back just enough to leave a kiss on his cheek.

“I am too,” he rasped so only she could hear, before taking her by the hand and taking a step back to take in the costume she was wearing. “Boy am I glad I came home,” he said. “I would have been  _very_  upset to miss this…. Look at this dress!” He whistled with approval.

“Tell me she doesn’t look like an absolute treat in that!” Mama bellowed from the stage.

“Damn straight she does,” he said and winked at Y/N, then turned his attention to the tall, voluptuous, older woman on the stage. “Well, well, now there’s the woman I’ve been waiting to see!” Jensen called up to her. “Be right back,” he whispered to Y/N before heading up to see her.

Mama left a big, sloppy kiss on his cheek and hugged him so tight Jensen thought his back might crack. “It’s so good to see you, Mama,” he said when she finally let him go. “Glad you’re in town. Hope Y/N took you around to see the sights.”

“She’s workin’ on it for sure. Quite the city you got yourself. I can see why Y/N fell in love with it,” Mama said and glanced at Y/N with a soulful smirk. “In fact, I was planning on meeting up with some friends of mine that live in the area and taking in some sites tomorrow. So you’re timing is impeccable!” Mama pinched his cheek playfully.

“I’m doubly glad I made it time then,” Jensen chuckled. “So what are you thinking of doing here? Gonna get this one back up on stage?” He motioned his head towards Y/N who had rejoined them on the stage.

“Oh, darlin’, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t blackmail her into singin’ at least one song tonight. I got the number down, but just need to teach this talented lot the moves.” Mama shimmied her hips, causing a roar of hoots and hollers from the small gathering of dancers behind her. “Whatcha say you go grab a seat and I’ll get this group ready to go!”

“Sounds damn good to me!” he said with a wide grin.

Mama turned back to the band. “Y’all said you know ‘Can’t Say No’ so let’s roll with that one!”

Jensen went to walk off stage, leaving the matronly diva to do her thing and paused to where Y/N was standing near the piano. He took her hand and gave it a tender squeeze, before pulling her closer to leave a kiss on the top of her head. “Break a leg,” he whispered.

The way she smiled at him then–her lips pursed together, one corner of her mouth tugging up into a smirk–made him feel physically weak in the knees. Jensen felt like there was something different in the way her eyes danced when she looked at him; he couldn’t help but wonder if she was coming to some of her own realizations, too.

For now, he tried to let it go and remember that they weren’t alone and that he needed to sit with the feeling for a while. A moment later, he was sitting in the front row and watching Mama put everyone in their places. She sent Y/N off stage left and another woman off stage right. The band was warming up, various instruments playing various notes and Jensen wondered how any of them could truly concentrate on what they were doing. Finally, they found their pitch and quieted, before Mama counted the band off to start the number.

The music began, and the minute Y/N stepped on the stage to start singing, Jensen’s phone began to ring. He quickly reached into his pocket to silence it, regardless of who was calling, so he wouldn’t disturb the rehearsal. But across the screen flashed  _SAFEGATE,_ the security company who installed the alarm at the townhouse. He got up, answered the call, and swiftly walked up the aisle towards the vestibule of the theater.

“Hello?” he answered when he was clear of the auditorium.

“Hello, Mr. Ackles?”

“Yeah, this is he. What’s going on?”

“We’re calling to let you know that the alarm has been triggered at the property located at 87 North Piedmont Point. We’ve notified the local authorities and they are currently en route.”

“Oh, shit. Ok. Thank you, I’m on my way.”

Jensen’s body tensed, and he felt his gut lurch. ‘ _It’s a false alarm_ ,’ he kept telling himself. ‘ _No big deal, it’s just a false alarm…’_ He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, trying to calm whatever was prompting the feeling of dread that was washing over his current mantra.

From behind him, the theater door creaked open, and he realized the music from the stage had stopped.

“Hey,” Y/N said, stepping into the vestibule. From inside the theater, the music started up again. “What’s going on? I saw you run out. Is everything okay?”

“Uh, I don’t know. That was the security company. Apparently, the alarm was triggered at the townhouse. I’m going to head over there now. I’ll call you–”

“The fuck you will. That’s my home, Jensen. I’m going with you.”

“Y/N–”

“No. Wait here, two minutes. Let me change and tell the girls. I’m coming, and I swear if you leave without me…” she drew in a deep breath and was ready to give him what for, but he held his hands up in relent.

“Go change. I’ll be right here, waiting.”

Within ten minutes, Y/N and Jensen were in his truck and headed towards her home. Neither of them talked, both nervous about what they were going to find at the house. As Jensen pulled into the development, and circled around towards home, flashing blue and red lights could be seen reflecting off of windows and trees. The driveway and curb were blocked by several police cars, forcing Jensen to pull over and park a few houses down. Once out of the truck, Y/N took his hand and squeezed it tight as they nearly jogged down the sidewalk towards the activity.

By the time they reached the front lawn, they could see the front door was open, and cops were walking in and out. Jensen could feel Y/N’s nerves grow, and when one of the officers began to approach them, she tightened the grip she had on his hand.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, this is a crime scene,” the officer said, holding his hand up to stop them.

“This is my home,” she breathed, clearly panicked. “What happened? What triggered the alarm?”

“It appears someone broke in, ma’am. If you could just wait here–”

“Are they still in there? Did you catch who did it?” Jensen interrupted angrily.

“And you are?” the officer asked indignantly.

“He’s with me,” Y/N bit back defensively. “Can I please go inside? How bad is it?”

“Alright, if you could both just calm down for a minute,” he said. “To answer your question, sir, no, whoever broke in is long gone. Let me just check with the detective to make sure it’s clear for you to enter and you can go in to grab a few necessities. No way you’re going to want to stay here tonight.”

Jensen’s stomach bottomed out, and by how pale Y/N seemed, he thought hers did too. Jensen released her hand and embraced her as the officer turned and sought out the lead detective. He held her to his chest, and she put her arms around his waist.

“It’s gonna be alright,” he whispered and kissed the top of her head. “Whatever it is, it’s going to be–”

“You can go on in,” the officer called from several feet away. “I’ll bring ya through so you can get what you need.”

Jensen felt her swallow hard and then peel herself off his chest. He sighed, and took her hand again, leading her towards the front door. The minute they walked, he heard her gasp. The mess in the kitchen alone was staggering. Walking slowly through the first floor, Jensen found himself in the living room, standing behind Y/N with his hands on her shoulders as they surveyed the damage. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, trying to push down all the anger and rage he felt at whoever had the nerve to do this.


	11. Chapter 11

“I’m gonna be sick…” Y/N said as she tiptoed through the living room, trying to avoid the mess of broken glass and couch remnants strewn across the floor. She tried to wrap her head around what had transpired, but she could only stand there, blinking absently at what she was seeing.

The couch had been slashed and shredded, pieces of stuffing and swatches of cloth were everywhere. The glass from the coffee table had been broken into a thousand pieces, by what she had no idea. Red wine stained the floor throughout the room and looked as if it was even sprayed on the walls.

“Jesus,” Jensen whispered to himself as he approached the place where the glass balcony doors used to be. “Who the hell wanted to get in here so damn bad that they’d throw a brick through the fucking glass?”

“Sir, if you could just stay on this side of the room, we’re still collecting evidence,” one of the officers called out from the entryway. “You shouldn’t even be here yet.”

Jensen stepped back and took Y/N gently by the shoulders, trying to comfort her the best he could.

“Excuse me,” a new voice chimed in from behind, “you’re the homeowners?”

Jensen and Y/N turned around and was greeted by an older man in his mid-sixties, in a worn dark blue suit. “Yeah, she lives here,” Jensen answered for her and shook the man’s hand.

“I’m Detective Perkins, sorry to have to meet under these circumstances,” he said to Jensen, then looked to Y/N. “I’m sure this is quite upsetting, but if you could think of anyone who may want to scare you–”

“Why would you ask if someone was trying to scare her?” Jensen asked sharply. “It’s a burglary, right?”

“Well, no. I don’t think so. Upon inspection of the premises, it appears all electronics and valuables are accounted for. Of course, we will need you to look through everything to see if something’s missing, but a preliminary walk through and assessment of the damage seems more like a scare tactic than an actual break-in.”

“The whole place is like this?” Y/N asked, her voice small and lost in the room.

“Yes, ma’am. I can take you upstairs if you want. If you’d like to gather some items–”

“Yes, please,” she said and exhaled shakily.

“Y/N, I can go up if you want. Why don’t you–”

“No, I have to go. But, please come with me,” she whispered in a broken, defeated tone.

“Of course, I wouldn’t let you go alone.” Jensen took her hand in his and squeezed it, then looked at the detective. “After you.”

When they reached the second floor, Detective Perkins opened her bedroom door. Y/N walked through first and was immediately hit by the strong fragrance of perfume; her own perfume, but far too concentrated. As she walked further into the room, she noticed the closet door was open, and the few clothes that were left hanging up in there were cut into pieces and tossed around the room. The comforter of the bed was wet with what she could only assume was the remnants of her favorite fragrance.

“What the fuck?” She heard Jensen say, and slowly turned around to look where he was looking.

Written across the mirror of her dresser, in dark red lipstick, was the word WHORE. Her throat went dry, and she could feel her body go cold. She now understood why the detective said what he did. This was meant to scare her, right out of Austin and back to New Jersey; back to Nate.

“This has to be Nathan,” she said and took a few steps closer, but stopped, afraid to actually be within reach of the heinous violation.

“Who’s Nathan? He got a last name?” Perkins asked abruptly.

“Fowler,” she said in a near whisper. “Nathan Fowler.”

Detective Perkins took out his little notebook and scribbled down the name before tucking it away and turning to Jensen. “Where were the two of you tonight?”

“All due respect, detective, can the questions wait until tomorrow? I would really like to get what we need and get her out of here.”

“I understand that, but the sooner we can–”

“That’s not mine,” Y/N said, not even hearing the conversation happening beside her. “That… that lipstick…” she pointed at the mirror.

“Ma’am?” Perkins asked.

“The lipstick used to write on the mirror,” she said again and this time took the few extra steps towards it but didn’t dare touch it. “If it  _was_ Nathan, he brought that in himself, because it’s not mine. I would never wear that color.”

“But I know someone who would wear it,” Jensen mumbled and took a closer look himself. He sighed deeply and bit the inside of his lip to try and help contain some of the rage that had been building.

Y/N noticed the change in his demeanor when his body became more rigid. “What?”

“Dee,” Jensen said through gritted teeth. “I’d know that color anywhere.”

Y/N saw his hands clenching and felt the sudden need to get out of the house. The whole place felt ugly and violated. That, more than the damage that had been done, bothered her most of all.

“Jay, let’s just go. Let them figure out who it was. You don’t know…”

“My gut says it is.”

“No offense, Mr. Ackles, but we can’t arrest someone on your gut,” Perkins replied with an air of condensation. “Why don’t you gather what you need, check to see if there’s any jewelry missing or other valuables. Tomorrow, come on down to the station and you can answer some questions for me, alright?”

Y/N just nodded. Her eyes went back to the mirror and as she saw her reflection through the lipstick crusted words, she knew that regardless if it was Dee or Nathan, they weren’t going away.

“What I need?” she mumbled in a defeated whisper. “I don’t know what to take, I don’t really need anything much I guess,” she said quietly and motioned towards the suitcase that was still packed from various bouts of traveling. “I can just take that. But I’d like to go to the loft and get a few things.”

“Well, that may be a problem,” Perkins groaned and rubbed the back of his neck. “Come on, I’ll show ya.”

 

 

The loft was the worst of all the rooms; it had been completely trashed. Papers were torn and thrown around the room. Like the downstairs, the couch had been slashed, stuffing pulled and sprinkled around like soft puffs of snow. Mixed into the fabric batting were small, gray chunks of plastic. It took her a minute, but Y/N finally realized what she was seeing.

“That’s my laptop,” she said pointing to the fragments. “Motherfucker smashed my laptop, too.”

Now she really did feel sick. Y/N wavered on her feet for a moment but Jensen was there to steady her.

“All our work…” she breathed, a swell of nausea rooting in her gut. She shook her head slowly, then was hit by an ironic bout of laughter. “Boy is Robbie gonna give me a big ‘I told you so’.”

Jensen looked at her curiously. “Uh, why?”

“The cloud. He’s a lunatic about uploading everything to the cloud. So the important stuff is saved, but… All these papers will have to be reprinted. We have to–”

“That can wait,” Jensen interjected gently. “It’s not important right now, okay? Just grab whatever you came up here for, and let’s get out of the way so they can do what they need to.”

She walked further into the room and saw the broken picture frame peeking out from under a piece of the laptop’s keyboard. The frame had been destroyed, but the picture of her father was thankfully still intact. She carefully slid it from the broken glass and folded it before putting it in her back pocket.

Y/N continued to scan the room, then began to panic when she couldn’t find her guitar. She had left it against the wall earlier that morning but it wasn’t there now. Y/N walked towards the drum kit at the far end of the room and saw how someone beat on it relentlessly with something, and that’s when she knew…

“No…” she whispered, and despite being asked not to touch anything, she began to sift through the wreckage of the room. “No, no, no…” she just kept saying over and over as the white puffs of batting were floating through the air around her.

Jensen was by her side and trying to pull her up from doing so, but it was too late. Beneath the mess of debris, was the remnants of her guitar. Slowly she bent down and found the wooden neck of her old Gibson. She cradled it for a minute and ran her fingers along the fractured frets and curled strings. An ache began to grow in her chest, and Y/N sat back on the floor with a thud, not caring about what was beneath her. The splintered piece of guitar fell into her lap when she put her head in her hands, then began to cry. Her shoulders shook silently as the magnitude of what she’d just lost sunk in. Jensen sat beside her with his arms around her shoulders, letting her lean into his chest and just cry as he rocked her gently in an effort to give her comfort. He closed his eyes and rested his lips to her hair, kissing her head and desperately wishing he could somehow make this all better.

Detective Perkins allowed them a few minutes before he cleared his throat to try and get Jensen’s attention.

“Mr. Ackles…”

“Yeah,” he said, partially turning towards Perkins, and seeing the uniformed officers waiting to search the room. “One minute.”

Jensen turned back to Y/N and brushed away the hair that had obscured her face. “Hey, sweetheart…” he tone was gentle and soft. “…we have to go. They need to get in here, so they can figure out–”

“Nate. It had to be,” she said flatly, but when she looked up at him, her eyes were anything but. They were wet and vibrating with disgust, anger, and sadness. Jensen had never seen her this way, and the look she wore broke his heart and as he used the pad of his thumb to gently wipe away the tears that rested on her cheeks.

“We need to let them prove that, then. They can’t do that when we’re in the way.”

Jensen started to stand, and Y/N followed his lead without hesitation. “Anything besides the suitcase?” he asked. “What about Mama’s things?”

Y/N shook her head. “She’s staying at the Marriott. I told her to stay here, but she didn’t want to in case we wanted the place to ourselves.” Y/N snorted a laugh and smiled apologetically, despite still trembling from the emotion she just expelled.

Jensen shook his head with slight exasperation. “Well, bless her heart, she really is something.” He waited for Y/N to retrieve the piece of the guitar from the floor before he put his arm around her shoulder, turning her towards the door and away from the heartbreaking scene.

“Ma’am, you really can’t take that with you, its evidence,” one of the officers said and motioned towards the piece of the guitar in her hand.

Y/N froze and looked at the broken instrument in her hand. She took a moment to let her eyes glaze over it because she knew that leaving it here meant she would never see it again. A touch of Jensen’s hand on the upper part of her arm gave her the strength to set it down and lean it gently against the wall.

“Sorry, ma’am,” the officer said quietly when he saw the weight of sadness in her eyes.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Jensen said and lead her from the house.

 

 

Jensen lifted her suitcase into the back of his truck and climbed into the driver’s side. Y/N was already buckled in, her fingers absently toying with the pendant he bought her. They sat in silence for a moment just absorbing everything that had happened in the span of the last hour.

“My dad bought me that guitar,” she said once he was settled in the truck. “Found it in a pawn shop near the house when I was twelve. It was old and out of tune, but I loved it and nursed it back to health. Now it’s…” she trailed off with a delicate sigh, and shrugged one shoulder up enough to brush the fresh tears off her cheek. “Where am I gonna go, Jay?” she asked, her voice small and broken. “I can’t… I don’t wanna be here, even if it’s clean–”

“You stay with me. End of story,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Jensen…”

“Don’t  _Jensen_ , me. You’re staying at my place and that’s that.” He was forceful but still gentle in his tone.

“And how’s that gonna work? You’re in Vancouver now. I’m just going to live at your place?”

“Y/N,” he started, “Let’s just start with tonight, okay? Let’s go back to my house, call Bri and Mama. Tell them what happened. Tomorrow we’ll go see Perkins and figure out things from there.”

“Okay,” she said, then looked out the window. The lights from the cop cars were still disturbing the otherwise peaceful neighborhood, and it brought on a different wave of sadness. She felt the sting of tears at her eyes again but didn’t bother wiping them away.

“Hey, you alright?” he asked softly as he started the ignition.

“I just hate that this is how I’ll remember this place now. I hate that my memories of it turned so ugly.”

“You really liked this place, huh?”

Y/N nodded. “It was home. I never expected it to really feel like mine, you know? It was just a place to live when I first came here. But, I don’t know… somewhere along the line, it became home.”

She looked away from the window and back at Jensen. Seeing him there made her feel a little better, but it wasn’t enough to shake the sense of being violated. Just like the morning, he took her to the airport, she slid across the seat and tucked herself into the crook of his arm. Y/N closed her eyes and from deep within his chest, she could hear Jensen’s heart beating, slow and rhythmic, helping her find some semblance of peace in an otherwise chaotic night. 

Y/N woke up and couldn’t remember where she was. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and felt like she was hungover, yet never had a drop of alcohol the night before. She slowly blinked and stretched her arms over her head and tried to remember where she was. The scent of Jensen was so strong around her, but when she sat up from the bed, he was nowhere to be seen, bringing on a bout of disappointment. Y/N looked around and tried to recall exactly how she got there, and when she saw her suitcase was there by the bathroom door, the rush of memories become clearer in her mind.

Jensen had brought her back to his house the night before, where they sat on his couch quietly for the longest time. She didn’t want to talk. He could sense that in her so he just let her rest against him, eventually turning on the television but not really watching anything. Y/N just stared blankly at the screen while he stroked her hair and made the occasional comment about what they were watching.

When she was finally tired enough to sleep, he insisted she take his bed. Y/N remembered crawling onto the King-sized mattress slowly, and letting herself sink into the pillows with heavy eyes. She felt Jensen lay beside her then drape his arm across her side, pulling her close, then holding her that way until she was asleep.

Y/N sat up all the way and enjoyed the quiet moment being in Jensen’s personal space. Even though he didn’t get to spend much time there, pieces of him were strewn about the room and for her, it was calming. She drew her legs up into her chest and wrapped her arms around them, then rested her chin on her knee. Closing her eyes, she drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly through puckered lips, while she kept telling herself,  _everything would be fine_. She needed to be calm, she needed to feel in control, but most of all, she needed to shower. Though she doubted that would make her feel clean. This kind of grime couldn’t be washed away with soap and water.  

Eventually, she made herself get up, and open her suitcase to find something suitable to wear for the day. Y/N went into the bathroom that was right off the bedroom and saw the pile of fluffy towels he’d left for her.

Y/N shook her head and chuckled softly. “This guy. He’s too much.”

As she stood under the nearly scalding hot water, her mind drifted to the scene at her house. It was just a mess. No one had been hurt, and anything that had been broken was easily replaceable. Well, almost. She felt the sting of tears again and fought them back. Instead, she tried to focus on Jensen.

 _He wasn’t even supposed to be in town yesterday_ , she thought as she rinsed the shampoo from her hair and let the water cascade down her back. She felt lucky to have him, though there were still plenty of moments in any given day where she was still baffled about how she did have him in the first place.

Out of the shower, and dressed for the day, Y/N just finished running the brush through her hair when there was a soft knock at the door.

“Come in,” she called and waited for the door to open.

“Mornin’ Trix,” Jensen smiled softly, the crinkles deepening around his eyes. “Sleep alright?”

“Morning,” she said and placed the brush back in her suitcase. “Not bad I guess. Where did you sleep? You weren’t here when I woke up.”

“I, uh… I went downstairs and slept on the couch for a little while.”

“Why? You could have stayed, it’s your bed after all.”

“It’s fine,” he said, waving her off. “You hungry? I could make you some breakfast.”  

Y/N shook her head, and moved towards him, closing the gap between them. “I’m good for now. Maybe after the police station. I need to be there soon, right?”

“Yeah.” Jensen seemed nervous. His muscles were noticeably tense and it wasn’t like him to be in the room with her for more than a minute without reaching out for her, or touching her in some kind of way. She knew his signs and could see he wanted to say something, but either didn’t have the nerve, or was being cautious in starting the conversation.

“Something on your mind?” she asked and grabbed his crossed arms to pull him closer. He unfurled them and embraced her, as hers went and around his waist.

“There is, but it can wait until after. I wanted to make sure you were alright after everything last night.”

“I’m as good as I’m going to be for the moment. So, talk to me, what’s up?”

Jensen kissed her forehead and broke apart from her embrace. “I have to go back to Vancouver tonight. I’m sorry that I can’t stay–”

“It’s fine, Jay. Mama is in town for a couple more days. I can stay with her at the Marriott–”

“No. Hell no. You stay here,” he said pointedly. “You can stay here for as long as you want to.”

“I can’t do that,” she said and ran her fingers through her hair. “I can’t live with you, Jensen.”

“No, I mean, I’m barely here. When I go back tonight, I won’t be back until the morning of Jared’s party and that’s next week. Bri offered to come stay here with you, too.”

“You talked to Briana about it before me?”

“She called this morning while you were still sleeping. She asked where you were going to go.”

Y/N’s head was spinning and she didn’t want to talk about this at the moment. “I don’t know, okay? Can I just go to the police station and see what they say?”

“Yeah, but, I want you to know you can stay here. It would make me feel a hell of a lot better knowing you were here and safe than in a hotel somewhere.”

Y/N sighed and when she saw how deep the concern ran on his face, she felt this was a battle that just wasn’t worth fighting. “Just till Jared’s party. Then I will figure something else out.”

“ _WE_  will figure it out,” Jensen smiled.

“No… I will. I need to handle this on my own. Find a new place of my own. I can’t have you swoop in and fix it.”

“I just want to help you. You realize you don’t have to do it alone, right? I’m here, Y/N. For you… for whatever you need.”

“And I appreciate that,” she said. “But I need to be independent, I won’t ever put myself in a position where I am reliant on another person, again. Not when it comes to something this big.”

Jensen just stared at her, fighting the urge to turn the conversation a way it didn’t need to go. He could understand where she was coming from and didn’t want to belittle her need for self-reliance.

“Ok,” he agreed and decided he wouldn’t press the issue. “Whatever you wanna do. But, you’ll stay through the week, at least?”

“Yes, ‘til then. At least.”

“Ok good. Thank you. Oh, you know… after the weekend of Jare’s party, we leave for comic con. You should come.”

Y/N was in the middle of adjusting her layers of clothes and stopped mid-motion. “To San Diego?”

“Yeah, why not?”

She snorted a laugh and shook her head. “No thanks, I’m good.”

Jensen scrunched his face, slightly offended by her response. “No thanks? Why not?”

“There is so much to do, Jay. I can’t just up and go to San Diego. There are at least three separate meetings planned with the high school kids to work on the sets for the theater. Not to mention dealing with the carnage of the office.” She exhaled slowly and closed her eyes at the notion of the paperwork catch up she would have to do now. Everything had been organized in the office, and while it was backed up digitally, she needed to scour through everything with a fine-toothed comb.

“You can work from there. It will be fun! Come on, I promise–”

“No!” she snapped. “I… I don’t–I can’t go to San Diego, Jensen. Why are you pushing this so much?”

Jensen’s mouth pulled taught and he folded his arms again, while his tongue ran nervously across his bottom lip. “Because I don’t like the idea of you being here alone.”

“But, you literally just said–”

“Yeah, and Briana will be here, so you won’t be alone.”

Y/N sighed and rolled her eyes. “So now I can’t be alone? What the hell? Jay, this is crazy… why are you being pushy?”

“Crazy? You wanna talk crazy? Last night some lunatic threw a brick through your back door then proceeded to  _SLASH_  things all over the place.  _Slash_! Y/N, with a fucking knife! What the hell would have happened if you were home? Hm? What the  _HELL_  would they have done to you?”

“The thought crossed my mind and its scary as hell to think about. But I wasn’t there, and I’m fine. I can’t live my life scared… not again,” she said as calmly as she could, but inside she felt anything but calm. Her mind flashed to how she lived after getting out of the hospital from when Nathan hit her. Y/N promised herself she would never live that way again.

“They could have hurt you… Raped you! Killed you! I don’t know! Then what would I have done?!” He had never raised his voice with her before and only did so now because he was scared. It was written through every line on his face, in every vein that pulsated with his blood. His jaw was clenched and his fists were methodically opening and closing as he tried to release some of the tension he felt.

Y/N was speechless. The fire in Jensen’s expression was new to her, and it caused her breath to catch in her chest.

“If you think for one damn second, that I’m going to risk the life of the woman I love just because you need to prove how independent you are–”

Y/N’s stomach dropped. “What the fuck did you just say?” she asked cautiously, the words nearly sticking in her throat.

Jensen was confused at first, unsure of what part she was referring too. But then his shoulders fell at the realization of what he said. He didn’t regret it, because it was true; he was in love with her. But this wasn’t how he wanted to say it, and by the expression she wore, he could see it wasn’t what she was hoping for, either. There was no going back now though, regardless of whether she wanted to hear it, or not.

“I said,” he took a couple steps closer to her. “I won’t risk  _your_  life, the woman I am  _in love_  with just so you can be stubborn and independent.”

Y/N took a step back from him, dazed by his admission. Suddenly she couldn’t look at him. A burning bout of rage erupted from her gut.

“Why would you say that, now? So, I would fall into your arms and do what you wanted?”

“What? No! I meant what I said, Y/N. I do, I love you! I certainly didn’t mean to just blurt it out, but I would never use it to manipulate you! You should know me better than that.”

“Honestly, I don’t know what I am thinking. My head is so turned around with  _everything_  that’s happened, Jensen. From meeting you to crisscrossing the country, to Nathan, to the break in, to… fucking… Dee and her God damned phone calls. I am exhausted! Mentally, physically, just exhausted! So, I’m sorry, if I misinterpreted your grand declaration, but  _fuck you_  very much for doing that right now!”

Y/N immediately regretted the harshness of her reaction. But it wasn’t something someone could take back so easily. The way Jensen’s expression fell broke her heart because the last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him. She just wanted room to breathe, clear her head and try to comprehend the events of the last twenty-four hours.

The room grew completely silent as they stood there staring at each other. It was less than a minute, but that minute felt like forty years. Y/N closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, knowing this needed to be addressed, but she just couldn’t right then.

“Look, I need to clear my head and get some air. I’m going to head to the police station and get that over with. Can we talk when I get back?”

“Yeah, sure. Take the truck. Keys are on the kitchen counter,” he said quietly, his eyes staring straight ahead, unable to look at her as she walked past him.

“Thanks,” she rasped and headed towards the door to the room. She hesitated before walking through, wondering if she should stay and try to fix things. But with the way her head was buzzing and the anxiety churning in her gut, she thought it better to follow her instincts and just give them a bit of space. She wasn’t running away, just calling a timeout.

“I’ll call you and let you know what they say,” she said with a small sigh, hoping it would ease some of the tension she’d just caused.

“Good, thanks.” Jensen still didn’t turn around. He stood in the middle of the quiet room trying to wrap his head around what just happened. When he heard the front door close from below, and the familiar sound of his truck’s engine in the driveway, he finally turned and headed downstairs.

Twenty minutes after Y/N left, Jensen was half lounging on his couch, one leg stretched out across the cushions, one hanging over the edge. His arm was covering his face with his eyes closed. He wasn’t sleeping but trying to rest his mind and hush the self-destructive line of thought that was giving him a headache. The soft knock at the door made him slowly stir from the couch. It stopped and started more than once by the time he got there to open.

“Alright, Jesus…” he grumbled and pulled the door open.

Briana’s smiling face greeted him along with a very bright sun. “Rise and shine, sleepyhead!” she sang and pushed her way in while holding a tray of disposable coffee cups, and a bag full of donuts. “I come bearing gifts. Where’s Y/N?”

Jensen closed the door behind her and helped to relieve her of the tray of coffee. He carried them into the kitchen with Briana following close behind.

“Uh, she left for the police station about a half hour ago,” he said, pulling a cup with his name on the side out and drinking it greedily. He sighed with relief as the heat of the coffee warmed his throat. “Thanks for the caffeine.”

“My pleasure,” Bri smiled, then immediately furrowed her brow. “Why are you here and not with her at the police station?”

Jensen snorted a laugh and tilted his head to the side slightly. “Long story.”

“I got time, coffee and donuts, Ackles. Spill it.”

Trying to ignore her, Jensen picked up the bag of donuts and peered inside. He could feel Briana’s eyes on him and realized there was no way she was going to stop asking. He rolled the bag back up and tossed it back to the counter.

“I had planned to go with her, but she wanted to go alone,” he sighed. It was the truth, sort of.

“Mhm, and?”

“And… what?”

“You could have insisted you go. This can’t be easy for her.”

“I pushed her enough this morning. I wasn’t going to do it again.”

“Pushed her how? What the hell happened?”

Jensen leaned back against the counter and took a drink from his cup. “We were talking about where she could go now. She doesn’t want to go back to the townhouse, and I don’t blame her. So I told her to stay here, what we talked about.”

“Right, makes sense. She didn’t go for it?”

“Not at first, but eventually she agreed to at least stay for the week, til I’m back again.”

“Alright, so what’s the problem then?”

“I tried to get her to go to San Diego. She doesn’t want to–”

“And you tried to push her to go?”

“Yeah. But… I got pissed, scared, is more like it. I can’t help but think about what could have happened to her, Bri. What if she had been home when that happened? I cannot get that out of my head. I could have lost her.”

“Did you tell her that?” Bri asked quietly.

Jensen nodded. “That and then some.”

“Explain, please.”

“In the midst of trying to make a point I blurted out that I was in love with her,” he said with a wince and watched Briana’s expression transform into a mix of surprise, excitement, and panic.

“Oh… Jensen… how–how did that go over? I thought you weren’t going to tell her yet!”

“Wasn’t on purpose, Bri. Trust me. And it did NOT go over well.”

“That’s why she went alone,” Bri mumbled in understanding. “That makes more sense now. What did she say?”

Jensen gave her a look that said, ‘ _please don’t make me answer that_ ’, to which Bri understood perfectly and relented.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” she said and walked around the kitchen to give him a hug.

Jensen didn’t realize how much he needed one. He returned his friend’s hug, suddenly very glad she was there and forcing him to talk about it. When they pulled back from the embrace, Bri immediately balled up her fist and punched him in the arm.

“Ow! What the fuck, Bri!? What was that for?”

“For telling her you loved her in an argument, ya dumbass,” she snorted and shook her head. “You don’t do that! Especially not the first time you’re gonna tell a girl you love her!”

“I told you it wasn’t on purpose! You didn’t have to hit me, damn.”

“Well next time you need to stop and think before you speak. That girl has gotta be spiraling right now. She was already overwhelmed with work, it’s why me and Mama are even here. She needed help. Then, the break-in and now this. She’s on overload, Jensen.”

“Why didn’t she tell me she was that overwhelmed? I’ve told her–”

“Right, and she’s just as stubborn as you are! You were in Vancouver. She wasn’t going to interrupt your schedule there for help with traveling, paperwork, and setlists… backdrops, social media… you name it, she’s doing it. My point is, she was already on the edge of having a little breakdown, and maybe what you said just pushed her over.”

“That’s the last thing I wanted,” he said. “Why is it whenever you feel like things are good, something comes along and just kicks you right in the balls?”

“That’s life, my friend,” Bri mused. “I guess you can only thing you can really control is how you respond.” She shrugged and looked at him with a tilt of her head. “So, how you gonna respond to this one?”

Jensen gave her a deadpan stare and shook his head. “Do I look like I know what the hell I’m doing?”

Bri laughed. “Do any of us?” She pushed off the counter and stood directly in front of him, taking him by the upper parts of his arms, and forcing him to look into her eyes. “Please, do not let whatever she said to you this morning, derail the amazing potential you two have. You, my friend, have a girl that is head over heels crazy for you. She’s scared as hell that she’s going to lose herself in loving you.”

Bri let his arms go and gave him a warning look. “Now, I just violated best friend code to tell you that, as it came from a confidential conversation during a night of girl talk.” She wagged her finger in his face. “Don’t make me regret it.”

Jensen laughed and held up his pinky. “Pinky promise.”

“Atta boy,” Bri giggled and winked at him then hooked her pinky with his. “Look, I need to run, I promised Y/N I would take this morning’s appointment over at the community college with the theater director. But, you call me or have her call me, okay? I want to know what happened at the station and with this…” she made a swirling motion with her finger in his general direction.

Jensen chuckled. “I will. Thanks, Bri,” he said and hugged her again.

She left a quick peck on his cheek. “Love ya, buddy. Hang in there, okay? Things will be fine. I know it.” Bri grabbed her coffee from the counter and headed towards the front door. With one last wave, she was out the door and off to her appointment.

It was late afternoon by the time Y/N got back to Jensen’s. She found him in the bedroom, re-packing his suitcase for the trip back to Vancouver. He didn’t sense her at first, so she watched him neatly roll up his clothes and place them into the open luggage. By the look of his slumped shoulders and slow, methodical movements of folding and packing, it looked like he was going through the motions, but she could tell that he was doing so reluctantly.

She felt terrible about how they had left things that morning and thought about nothing else, aside from the break-in; and that had only been when she was sitting and discussing it with Detective Perkins earlier. Jensen had been nothing but good in her life, but his timing of feelings was just something she wasn’t ready for right then. Somehow she needed to tell him that she just wanted to, for now, pretend it didn’t happen and keep going on the path they had previously chosen.

“Hey,” she said and took a tentative step into the room. “Need some help?”

Jensen turned around, slightly startled by her entrance, but she felt a little relieved when he smiled upon he saw her.

“I’m just about done, but thanks,” he said and placed the last item in before flipping the lid closed, but not zipping it. “How’d it go?”

“Alright, I guess. They don’t know anything yet. Perkins mostly asked about Nathan. I imagine you’ll be getting a call soon. He mentioned wanting to talk to you, too.”

“Because I brought up Dee?”

Y/N nodded and took a few steps closer to him. “I told him you were leaving for work later tonight, but he said he would call soon.”

It was Jensen’s turn to nod. He drew a deep breath, ready to try and clear the air of awkwardness between them. But Y/N beat him to it.

“Jay, I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I know you wouldn’t actually say–you know–to purposely manipulate me. I’m sorry I even thought about it for a second.”

“It’s okay. And, I’m sorry for pushing you. I don’t have the right to tell you what to do.” He wanted to say more, but he could sense she just wanted to let it go for now. After what happened that morning, he was learning more about her boundaries and wouldn’t continue to test them.

“Can we just, rewind, start over for today? I know you have to leave tonight and I don’t want you to go with things weird between us.”

“Me either,” he said and reached out to take her hand. “Are you hungry? Did you eat?”

Y/N shook her head. “Haven’t had much of an appetite today. Did you?”

“Not yet. But, I did order a pizza earlier. Figured you’d be hungry when you got back.”

“And you got me a pizza?” she asked wistfully, looking up at him with wide, dreamy eyes. “You get me. You really get me.”

Jensen chuckled softly and pulled her in with ease. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, as she rested her head against his chest and hugged him around the waist.

“We ok?” he whispered into her hair.

“Yeah, Jay. We’re good.” Y/N felt his body sigh with relief, as she looked up at him. She stood up a little straighter and kissed his lips gently.

The rest of the evening had been quiet. Y/N recanted her conversation with Detective Perkins, they discussed some festival business and just kept the conversation light and kept clear of anything regarding that morning. Hours later, after consuming the pizza and a half of a Netflix movie, Y/N had fallen asleep, with her head on his shoulder. Jensen dozed off a few times himself until around midnight when his phone vibrated alerting him that it was time to leave. Outside there would be a car waiting to bring him to the airport, and now, more than ever, he wished he didn’t have to go.

Jensen watched her sleeping for a moment and decided not to wake her. He got up cautiously, doing his best not to disturb her. When he was standing, he gently guided her to a more comfortable position on the couch and covered her with the blanket that rested along the back. He went into the kitchen and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, and scribbled a note for her. He folded it in half and left it on the coffee table where she could easily see it before he left.

Once he was sure she was still in a deep sleep, he knelt beside the couch and lightly brushed her hair from her face.

Jensen leaned forward and left a soft kiss on her temple. “I know you don’t wanna hear it right now Trix, but I do love you,” he whispered.

She didn’t stir. Jensen took one more long look at her, and tried to remember every little detail; the soft sound of her snoring, the way her hair spilled across the throw pillow, how the soft glow from the TV highlighted the contours of her face and neck. The corner of his mouth lifted into a small smile, and even though things weren’t perfect he knew that it didn’t matter because he loved her. For now, that was enough for him. His phone vibrated again, this time a text from the car service letting him now they were waiting out front. He glanced her way one last time and left the house quietly for the airport.

A week later, and Y/N was already tired of Austin’s summer. The temperatures were reaching triple digits and the humidity could give Jersey’s mid-year season a run for its money. Bri had come to stay with her at Jensen’s house for a few days after he left, which was blessedly cool and equipped with a small swimming pool out back. Unfortunately, they spent most of the time running around Austin, going from one location to the next and dealing with coming and going in and out of the heat. The only thing that kept them going was knowing how much of an impact that what they were doing was going to make on the festival, and by extension, for the city itself.  It was exhausting, but between that and spending time with Mama while she was there, it was helping to keep her brain occupied and not think about the break-in. 

The day before Jared’s party, Briana left to go meet some family who was visiting in Dallas. Promising she would be back in time for Jared’s party, Y/N said goodbye from the porch of Jensen’s house and watched her go. It wasn’t until she went back inside, closed and locked the door did she realize that she was alone again. At first, she tried to ignore the feeling that was tingling beneath her outward exterior. It was a barely there sensation, but enough to make her take notice.

She picked up the phone to call Jensen more than a few times, but after their argument about her being alone, the last thing she wanted to do was admit he was right.

 _Maybe going to San Diego isn’t the worst idea in the world…_  she thought as she mulled around the kitchen, trying to decide what she wanted to do. She didn’t want to eat, or watch TV; for the first time that week, she had no desire to go for a swim. If she was being honest with herself, she just wanted to be where Jensen was.

They hadn’t talked much that week. A call or text a day was all there had been time for. She tried not to think it was due to the way things had been their last day together. Jensen had left her a sweet note, and though she was sad he didn’t wake her, she understood why he didn’t. Now, he was due home by the next day for the party, and Y/N found herself just counting the hours.

Sleep found her eventually when she retreated to the guest room she’d been staying in and laid down with one of the books she found in the living room. Her slumber was broken and filled with dreams, but it helped the time pass as the moon set and sun rose on another bright, humid day. She had woken later than she wanted but took the time to throw on her slippers and go down to the kitchen to make coffee. Once it was done, she took it back upstairs with her, sipping it slowly as she went about getting her clothes ready for the day and preparing to take a quick shower.

Y/N had just stepped out of the shower and went back into the guest room to dress when she heard a soft knock at the door. It started to open as she spun around in surprise, and pulled her towel close against her.

“Hey, Y/N are you–” Jensen’s face came through the door. The instant he saw her in just a towel he froze.

The air in the room suddenly felt thick, making it hard to breathe. Jensen and Y/N locked eyes every so briefly before his gaze continued down the length of her body. Seeing her like that–skin still wet and glistening, and MORE of her than he’d seen before–especially after not seeing her for a week–left him reeling. Jensen felt more than just a twitch of arousal beneath his shorts, then quickly looked away, and apologized profusely.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize… I’ll go–let you change…” he stuttered and moved nervously out of the room, leaving Y/N to laugh.

“Just give me a minute,” she called out and tried to calm the rush of heat that flourished in her cheeks. Y/N sat on the edge of the bed, her heart racing from the momentary encounter. She figured it was just because he took her by surprise, but deep down she knew it was all because of how he looked at her. Somehow, she got herself together, got dressed and met him downstairs a few minutes later.

Y/N found Jensen in the kitchen, leaning on the island counter with his elbows, scrolling through his phone. When he saw her, he stood up straighter, a dream-like expression on his face, and a smile that brought out the crinkles around his eyes.

“I, uh, I’m sorry about that… I just… I figured you’d heard me come in, and…”

“It’s fine. No big deal,” she said, her heart still beating faster than normal. “What time do we have to leave?”

“Uh, now, actually. Just got a text from Bri, she’s running late and will meet everyone at the dock.”

“Dock?”

“Yeah, apparently Gen is having this luau in a private cove. She thought it would be fun to rent a big ole boat for everyone to get there.”

“Oh… and how are we getting back? Also boat?”

“No,” he chuckled, “she hired a car service or rentals, I don’t know… either way, there are cars there to take people from the cove to wherever they wanted to go. This way they can leave whenever they want.”

“Seems like she thought of everything,” Y/N said and moved further into the kitchen before leaving a canvas tote bag on the stool. “I grabbed a change of clothes, just in case.”

“Good thinking. I should too. Let me do that and we’ll go.”

She watched him run upstairs, taking them two by two and expelled a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Things had been fine between them, and even after the unexpected encounter upstairs, something still felt off. Not terribly… but for the first time since, forever, he didn’t try to touch her in any way. She tried not to worry about it, but not all of her old self-destructive habits were gone. In the time between him going up and then coming back downstairs, she had herself convinced that he had finally lost interest.

“Ready?” he asked, slinging a Jansport over his shoulder.

“Mhm,” she mumbled, then grabbed her bag, forcing a smile and praying he didn’t see the fear on her face.

As they pulled up to the dock, Y/N could immediately pick out their group ready to board when she spotted Jared towering over the lot of them. Jensen grabbed their bags from the bed of the truck and handed Y/N hers as they walked down the sidewalk towards the group. Once all the hugs and greetings were dispensed, everyone boarded and found a place to settle in for the two-hour ride to the cove.

The moment Robbie saw Y/N, he pounced on her. “My girl! You’re here and that makes me very happy. Missed you! Also, we really,  _really_  need to chat. Today might not be good, but what are your plans tomorrow?”

“If today goes as I imagine it will, my plans will be to nurse the hangover I assume I’ll have. Why? What’s up?”

Robbie pulled her down into the galley and away from the crowd. “What do you mean, what’s up? Um, you got your house broken into and the loft was destroyed. WE have too–”

“It’s done, Robbie. I recovered everything from the cloud, got it reprinted, refiled and safely stored in Jensen’s office. Crisis averted.”

Rob’s face went from panic to pleasantly surprised in a matter of a second. “Well damn, girl. I guess, then, the only other thing we need to talk about is your music and which of it you want to sing on stage with us. I wrap in Vancouver soon, and I want to get the guys back down here so we can start working on a couple of those songs you got.”

Y/N’s heart sank; not because of what Rob said, but because it just reminded her, again, that she no longer had her guitar.

“Yeah, we’ll talk soon, Rob. Let’s get through today and we’ll chat. Cool?”

“Perfect,” he replied with an affirmative nod. He paused and took a closer look at her expression and could see the heavy emotion behind her faux smile. He sighed, and put his hand on her shoulder, giving her a friendly squeeze. “I’m so sorry about what happened to the townhouse. When Jensen told me, I–I just couldn’t–I mean, who…” he trailed off in a huff. “I just don’t get it.”

“Me either. But, cops are working on it,” she shrugged and then cleared her throat. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not think about it tonight.”

“Of course, I’m sorry, I should’ve–”

“Robert,” she snorted a laugh and shook her head, “it’s fine. Let’s go join the others, okay? I need to find Bri.”

Rob escorted Y/N back out onto the deck where the others were sitting around on the cushioned seats that lined the perimeter of the yacht. Gen and Jared were sitting with Jason and one of Gen’s friends, a few others were scattered around as well, while Jensen and Bri were sitting close to each other near the stern. They looked as if they were having an intense conversation, and Y/N felt unsure about approaching them. She didn’t want to intrude on whatever they were talking about, so once Robbie took his leave and went to join Gen and Jared, Y/N quietly slipped back down into the galley.

A burst of laughter came from the deck, drawing her attention towards the small steps that lead out. Bri was approaching her, a large, giddy grin drawing her full lips to stretch from ear to ear.

“Whatcha doin’ hiding in here, honey? Thought I saw you were heading over to join us.”

“Yeah, I was,” she started, then suddenly felt stupid for turning away from them. “I just figured I would use the bathroom real quick, then come out.”

Bri called her out on her blatant lie with one stern raise of her brow. “Really?” she asked, flatly.

From out on the deck, the sounds of a guitar could be heard playing, no doubt it was Robbie and Jensen messing around.

“I don’t know exactly what’s up with you, I mean, besides being freaked about the break-in and overloaded with work. But, if it’s what I think it is–”

“What do you think it is?” Y/N asked, cutting off her thought.

“I know what he said to you, Y/N. I came by that day after you left and we talked.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We just spent the week together!” Y/N huffed, mildly embarrassed that Briana knew and also a little annoyed that she wasn’t the one to tell her.

“Because you weren’t ready to talk about it or you would have brought it up. But as this little excursion goes on, I can see that you around him now, is weird. Look,” Bri took her arm and pulled her further into the room and away from the music. “He loves you. You need to tell him how you feel, or…”

“Or, what? He said he was okay with slow, he said–”

“Stop. Y/N, listen to me. Jensen would wait a million years for you to be ready. I’m sayin’ for  _YOUR_ sake… just tell the boy you love him already or you’re gonna drive yourself insane.”

Y/N swallowed Bri’s words down, right along with the lump in her throat. Once again, her friend hit the nail on the head. She needed to just shed the last of that force field that she was holding onto, and tell Jensen how she felt.

Nearly two hours later, the yacht was positioning itself to dock at the cove. Waiting on the long wooden pier that jettisoned out from the sandy beach were four people, all decked out in leis, grass skirts, and Hawaiian shirts. Jared threw the lines for the boat as the captain parked her perfectly flush with the dock.

Y/N stayed seated as the others started to disembark. Robbie’s guitar was laying next to her, and knowing he wouldn’t mind, she picked it up and started to pick at the string. Without thinking about it, she was struck by that same tune she had been over the winter.

_‘You’re the one that I want… oo oo oo, honey…’_

The reverb from the guitar faded as she let her fingers fall from the strings and let her mind take her back to that morning on the beach. She had just met him, and even though he was still a stranger, sort of mysterious, he was still somehow, familiar. That song intruded on her thoughts then, too. He was, after all, the one that she wanted; deep down she knew that after he jumped into a cold ocean just to get her to say yes. She just needed to figure out a way to tell him so he knew that she really meant it. Y/N felt like she owed him that considering how his admission caused her to react.

“Y/N… hey!” Jensen called out. “You with us?”

She snapped back to reality and saw him standing in front of her; his hand outstretched to help her up.

“Yeah, sorry, got lost for a minute,” she took his hand and rose from the seat, still holding Robbie’s guitar.

“You can leave your bag on the boat, it will be here all night,” he said and then he looked at her curiously. She realized he saw that she wasn’t completely herself, but didn’t ask her about it. He didn’t have too, because he felt it too. Though they had been okay, that  _thing_  still hung over them, and both of them desperately wanted it to rectify it.

But how?

“Oh, great. Okay,” she smiled and with her hand still in his, followed him to disembark.

Genevieve Padalecki went all out for her husband’s birthday. Y/N wandered around in awe of everything she had arranged. The entire party was set up on a small, private cove about the size of a football field. There were several tiki bars across the area, a bonfire pit, volleyball net, a roped off swimming area, barrels scattered throughout the cove; some of which were filled with water guns, water balloons and some filled with ice and bottles of beer, water and soda.

“Nice, huh?” Jensen asked as he came up behind her. He placed his hand on the small of her back, and she jumped slightly at his touch. “Whoa! You alright? Did I scare you?”

“No,” she breathed and could feel her heart start pounding again. “Maybe. A little. It’s fine, I was just distracted. And yeah, what Gen did here… holy shit.”

“You want a drink? Hungry?”

“No, I’m good. I think I might go swim. Wanna come?” she asked, hoping maybe that if they could go out in the water together, maybe she could say…  _something_  to make things more like they were before.”

Without warning, a splash of water hit Jensen’s back as Jared launched a water balloon at him. Y/N laughed as Jensen’s face went from shock, then fell into revenge mode as he slowly turned and glared his best friend with narrow, accusing eyes.

“Sorry, Trix. Gonna take a rain check. I got some business to attend to first,” he muttered before taking off through the sand after Jared.

She watched him chase Jared through the cove, as they threw water balloons at each other, and riled up half of the other partygoers to do the same. Realizing she was still carrying Robbie’s guitar, Y/N ventured over towards the area designated for the food and found a safe place for it.

“You gonna play something for us tonight?” Robbie asked and approaching her with a full plate of food, then motioning towards the guitar with his chin.

Y/N shook her head. “Nah, I don’t think so. I didn’t mean to bring it off the boat, it just sorta–”

“Followed you?”

“Yeah, kinda. Since I lost mine…”

“You feel lost. That I get.”

She nodded. “You should play something though, you know I get all tingly when you do,” she teased, trying to steer the conversation away from a place she didn’t want it to go.

“We’ll see…. maybe if you play, I’ll play.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Alright, Robbie. Maybe. Come find me after a swim and a few drinks. I may be more pliable then.” She patted him on the shoulder and made her way towards the water.

“Don’t think I won’t, Y/N! I’m not above that!” he called after her, before taking a bite of the food on his plate and walking towards one of the long tables.

The view of the sunset from the cove was the best they could have hoped for. The colors were painted across the clouds in hues of pinks and purples, with a splash of orange for contrast. The moon, just about at full, already hung low in the east, waiting its turn to rise and join the celebration. After an afternoon of swimming, games, drinking, and laughs, Jared’s friends all migrated towards the newly lit bonfire while they waited for the unveiling of the pig from the pig roast.

The air was beginning to develop a chill, but Y/N just assumed it was because she was still in a wet bathing suit without her pull over or dry shorts. She snuck back to the boat and quickly changed into her extra clothes, and relished in how it instantly warmed her skin. In no time at all, she was back out on the beach of the cove and headed to rejoin everyone around the bonfire.

Everyone was already sat, forming a tight circle around the pit of flames. She looked for Jensen and saw him sitting snugly between Bri and Jared, talking and laughing. Directly across from him, she saw Robbie sitting there, with the last open space beside him. Somehow, she knew that was not by chance.

“This seat is taken?” she asked as she stepped over the makeshift log seat and then sat beside Robbie.

“Saved it just for you, buttercup,” he winked. “Have fun today?”

“I did,” she smiled, and then looked across the flames at Jensen.

He saw her, too. The corner of his mouth pulled into a smirk as gave her a little wave. She returned it in a similar fashion. She hadn’t seen much of him throughout the day, and knew it was only because he was enjoying the day off with his group of friends, and not because of any lingering awkwardness between them; she hoped.

“Did you have enough from the tiki bar that I could maybe convince you to sing something?” he wiggled his eyebrows excitedly, making her laugh.

“You first, Robert.”

“That wasn’t a no,” he chuckled, “so, I’m happy.”

The chatter around fire came to a lull as the sound of Robbie’s guitar replaced it. He was just strumming, but everyone knew that it wouldn’t just be that for long.

“Whatcha wanna hear?” he leaned over and asked Y/N while continuing to strum.

“Surprise me.”

Robbie found a rhythm he was happy with and slipped into the melody for  _The Rest_. He played and sang, and encouraged some of the others to jump in on the song with him. Y/N was swaying along and enjoying the music, but every so often would look up and catch Jensen’s eye. She felt a million miles away from him, and as she watched him singing along with Robbie and the others, all she wanted to do was be near him.

Her mind began to drift as Robbie continued to play. Y/N thought about the night of their date, and how it was to be there with him, under the stars and sitting so close. She loved how delicately he kissed her, then showed up the next day just to take her to the airport.

 _‘You’re in love with him… just stop fighting it,’_  she thought, chastising herself.  _‘Sometimes you gotta just take the leap and–”_

The claps and whistles of applause pulled her back and she followed suit. When she turned to look at Rob, he was watching her expectantly, holding out the guitar.

“Your turn,” he smiled impishly. “Deals a deal.”

“Yeesss! Y/N, it’s your turn!” Bri called out from over the flames. Following her, more encouragement from the party goers, including Jared and Gen, were egging her on. She gazed around the circle, suddenly nervous and unsure if she would be able to make her fingers work to do it.

When her gaze reached Jensen, she realized he was the only one not making any noise or gestures. He simply sat, leaning his forearms against his thighs, his hands clasped around a beer, hanging between his knees and his sights set firmly on Y/N. His mouth was relaxed and soft, his lips slightly parted as he watched her. His green eyes were narrowed intently on her as she cradled the guitar against her chest, before getting it in the proper position.

Y/N’s throat was suddenly very dry. Without asking, she reached down and pulled a swig from Robbie’s beer and apologized in a silent expression. He gave her a quick wink and nudged her with his elbow.

Now she leaned into him. “Whatcha wanna hear?” she asked.

“Sing something that means something to you,” he replied quietly, then casually let his line of sight linger towards Jensen before leaning back and settling in for her song.

Y/N’s fingers found the frets and pressed down on the strings. With her other hand, she began to strum and after a few chords, she cast her gaze down to the guitar and began singing softly, the rest of the group quieting down as the slower melody started to play. She thought about what the song meant to her, what it had been to her, and how she can use it now, to try and speak to Jensen.

**_“I got chills  
_ ** **_They’re multiplying  
_ ** **_And I’m losing control  
_ ** ****_‘Cause the power you’re supplying…”_

**‘ _It’s electrifying_ …’ **Jensen sang softly, almost in a whisper but loud enough for Y/N to hear him. 

Her head snapped up at the sound of his voice, her gaze instantly finding, and holding his across the fire. She paused for a moment to take a breath, her hand hovering closely over the strings. A twitch of the corner of Jensen’s mouth was all she needed to keep playing after having missed the next few beats in the song. 

The song continued, but more as a conversation between them than a tune being played for the entertainment of the crowd. 

**_“You better shape up  
_ ** **_‘Cause I need a man  
_ ** ****_And my heart is set on you_

**_You better shape up  
_ ** **_You better understand  
_ ** **_To my heart I must be true_ ** **”**

**‘ _Nothing left for me to do…_ ’ **Jensen sang with her. She continued on, as if everything in the song was what she had been wanting to say. But much like her old man, Y/N wasn’t great with verbalizing what she wanted, or how she felt. So, once again, she turned to music to do it for her. 

When Y/N got to the chorus, he sang with her, softly, matching the tone and cadence of the melody. 

“ ** _I better shape up, ‘cause you need a man…_** ” Jensen took over for her, singing louder than he had been up to this point, making the next couple of verses everything he needed to say, and what she needed to hear. 

 _“ **Yes I’m sure down deep inside…** ”_ 

The last line of the verse and both of them looked at each other. They had been watching one another throughout the entirety of the song, but with this one line, it was saying everything they were both feeling but too scared to admit. The feelings that those lyrics left her with wasn’t just the rush of love she had for him, but the certainty with which she felt them. Whatever fear had been holding her back was gone and she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Jensen was the only one she would ever really want.

They went through the chorus two more times, the intensity and strength of her playing and their singing growing, before it faded out. 

“ ** _Oh yes indeed,_** ”Y/N sang the last line, knowing exactly where she stood now. 

There was a beat where it got very quiet, but Bri and Robbie changed that quickly with their rousing applause and cat-call whistles. Y/N smiled humbly and nodded her head slightly before handing the guitar back to Rob. She gave Bri a rueful glance over the flames before letting her eyes drift back to Jensen, who was suddenly gone from the bonfire.

Jensen needed a minute to compose himself. From the moment he heard what song she was singing, he felt his chest tighten and his heart beat faster. That dream he had the night he met her felt prophetic now and it left him reeling. He didn’t plan on singing, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like she was speaking to him and then as it continued on, he couldn’t refrain from speaking back. When it ended, he felt so affected by the whole thing and had a build up of emotion that had been coming for a while despite his need to try and repress it.

He was on his way back to the bonfire now that he had calmed a bit when he found her off on her own. Y/N was standing near the edge of trees where the cove and the paths converged. Off in the distance, the party was in full swing; the music and noise of which faded a bit where he found her, and he was grateful for that. It was getting dark, and out here on the fringes of the party, the only light he could really see her by was that of the moon.

“Hey Trix, you alright?” he asked softly.

Y/N turned and saw him emerge from one of the wide paths. She looked up at him, and he could tell she was smiling; but it was that soft, thoughtful one she would get when she had been lost in something.

“Yeah,” she said and approached him. “I was just looking for you.”

“Here I am,” he smirked, but she didn’t smile in return. She looked slightly nervous as she fidgeted with her hands.

“Jensen… I…” she stuttered, and then stopped to draw in a deep breath. “I’m so sorry, I have been the biggest idiot.”

“What are you talking about? You’re not–”

“I am. Now, hush and let me talk. You and I, I don’t know how or why it works, but it does. I’ve been so afraid to admit how well it works, and because of that, I’ve been… I don’t even know. Scared seems ridiculous, but I guess, scared.”

She was rambling now, and as Jensen watched her pace back and forth trying to find the words she desperately grasped for, he couldn’t help but be slightly amused. He crossed his arms over his chest and continued to fall more in love as she stumbled over her words.

“You have to understand that I, trusting you–I didn’t know if I could, I mean, not that you gave me a reason  _not_  to–and then with the break-in, and all the other stuff–”

“Y/N,” he said, trying to get her attention, but she either didn’t hear him or ignored him.

“Then,  _that_  just happened, and I look up, and you’re gone, I thought for sure–”

“Y/N!” Jensen laughed, finally taking her by the shoulders and standing her square in front of him. “Stand still. Take a breath. Just say what you want to say.”

She looked up at him, and drew in a calming breath, exhaling through pursed lips. Jensen’s heart began to beat faster when he saw how her eyes were locked onto his, wistful, and dreamy. Y/N took Jensen’s hands from her shoulders, then interlaced her fingers into his and held them in front of her. She was quiet, and her eyes were fixed on the tangled knot their hands had become. She brought it to her mouth and kissed the back of his hand softly. Jensen’s stomach fluttered when he felt her lips on his skin.

“I love you, too,” she whispered, through a dry rough voice.

She released his hands slowly, gingerly placed her palms on his cheeks and guided her mouth onto his. He inhaled sharply before he kissed her back, surprised that she took the initiative. It started slow, but not hesitant; they savored each other for a few minutes with the soft, wanting, open mouth type of kiss that only two people in love could really appreciate. Jensen wanted more, needed more of her, but before he could, she retracted but stayed close, ghosting her nose over his; the sensation of which stirred the same feeling as seeing her just out of the shower did.

“Take me home, Hollywood.”

Jensen’s head snapped up, and he saw the sincerity in her eyes, pleading with him to take her away.

“You sure?”

She nodded and took his hand again. Y/N didn’t need to say anything, Jensen understood completely; she had said everything she needed to while they sang to each other around the bonfire. No one would miss them, and as much as he loved Jared, he wanted and had waited for Y/N for a long time. Jared would understand why he left.

Jensen kissed her again, and when she returned it with fervor, he knew it was time to go. He took her hand and playfully pulled her down the path that led away from the party. When they emerged onto the parking lot, the valets were already in place ready to assist him.

“I need a car, please,” Jensen asked with a polite smile, then turned slightly looking back at Y/N who was nearly attached to his side. “And quickly… if you could.”

Within minutes, the attendant had one of the rentals ready to go and Jensen was opening the passenger door for Y/N. Jensen backed out of the lot and headed towards the exit. It wouldn’t take long to get back to his place, but part of him just wanted to find the nearest motel. Deciding home was better, Jensen pointed the car in that direction and cruised down the main drag. With very few cars out at that time of night, they had the road to themselves.

A string of traffic lights sat between them and the house. The atmosphere of the car was tense, both Jensen and Y/N could feel the growing impatience between them. When they hit the first red light, Jensen threw the car in park and leaned over to her. His hand quickly tangled up in the hair at the back of her neck and pulled her needily towards him.

His mouth greeted hers, open and hungry, and for sixty seconds the light sat red, he devoured as much of her as he could. When it turned green, they regretfully parted until the next red light. He couldn’t get enough, no matter how many times he stopped to kiss her on the ride home. By the time he was pulling into the driveway, her lips were red and swollen from his relentless assault, but she immediately moved over to kiss him again once he turned off the ignition.

They parted long enough to make it to the stoop. The front door fell open as Jensen and Y/N stumbled in, their mouths locked together the second the key turned the knob. Jensen made sure it was closed and reset the deadbolt. As he did, she stepped back from him, the moonlight coming through the skylights in the foyer highlighting her skin as she slowly pulled her shirt up and over her head and let it fall to the floor.

Jensen stood motionless, unable to move towards her. Her (y/c) eyes locked onto his, and he felt himself tremble as she took her time unbuttoning the jean shorts, allowing them to join her gray pull over on the rug. Left in only her lacy bra and underwear, she moved towards him. He ran his fingers up the length of her arm, then raised both his arms in the air, as she pulled his thin cotton thermal top off over his head.

“Whoa, wait,” he gasped, pulling away from her and leaving a breath of space. “Are you sure? I mean, really sure?”

“Yes…. I am more than sure,” she purred and bit her lower lip as she ran a finger at the waist of his shorts.

She kissed him again, both of their breathing short and labored huffs through noses as their mouths occupied the other. He stopped it again before she could free him of more of his clothes, pressing his forehead against hers trying to catch his breath.

“Last time…”

“That was a long time ago, Jay,” she pleaded and went in to kiss him again.

“I don’t want to lose you. It’s okay if you wanna stop and wait—”

“You won’t. I’m not going anywhere, except upstairs… with you. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Jensen bit his lower lip, using every ounce of his will power to not tear her bra off there in the foyer. “We can stop, Y/N. I don’t wanna push you.”

“No, you’re not. I told you to take me home. I want you, Jay. I want you to take me upstairs and do unspeakable things to me. I’m so fucking tired of being cautious with you. It’s just… I was so damn reckless for so long, that when you came along…” she hesitated to continue, afraid to derail what was happening.

“Say it… when I came along, what?” he rasped, and nipped at her lips, which she kissed back immediately before he pulled back again. “Tell me.”

“I needed to be cautious with you because the stakes were so high. I knew from that first night on the beach that if I wasn’t careful, I would fall right into you. Hopelessly so. So I played it safe until I knew for sure that I wouldn’t lose. I’m sure now. I put everything on snake eyes, baby,” she chuckled and pressed her nails into the nape of his neck, drawing his body as physically close to her as she possibly could.

Jensen let her. They were nearly fused together now, her lips trailing soft, wanting kisses across his neck up to his ear. He shuddered when she kissed him there and felt his legs go weaker when her delicate breath fell against his ear.

“What’s the payout?” he whispered, unable to get his voice louder than that while under the spell of her touch.

Y/N pressed her lips to his earlobe and took it in her mouth, grazing her teeth along it as she whispered, “Everything.”

Jensen exhaled heavily, he knew that her phrasing was in good fun, but he also knew how vast the weight of her words were. Trusting wasn’t easy for her, and falling in love, after what she had been through, near impossible. Yet, here they were, together with nothing standing between them but their own insecurities. Pushing all of those aside, Jensen took her hand tightly into his, and lead her towards the stairs.

He pushed open the bedroom door and motioned for her to go first. She was barely a few steps in before she turned and found him in the barely illuminated room. He leaned over and turned on the bedside lamp.

“No, leave it off,” she breathed. He could hear the trembling in her voice, but slowly shook his head.

“No,” he rasped and took her chin between his fingers. “I want to see you.”

Jensen bent down and kissed her neck before reaching behind her and unclasping her bra, letting it slide from her body to the floor. A small whimper escaped her lips as his hands ran lightly over the swell of her breasts, then down her stomach, coming to land at the hem of her panties.

He swallowed thickly, his fingers trembling as he breached the edge of the lace. He looked back at her, and when he saw the want in her eyes, he knew it was really happening. Jensen’s tongue ran over his bottom lip before he bent down and kissed her again. She reached for his shorts, and this time made quick work of getting them off.

Jensen walked her back towards the bed, never breaking his gaze from hers. She collided with the mattress and fell onto it, causing her to giggle. Y/N climbed backward onto the bed, propping herself up on her elbows and watching him with a lustful need. Hovering over her, he kissed her breasts softly, then ran his tongue lightly over her nipples. The lightest graze of his teeth against the rigid nub caused an involuntary shiver to race down her flesh. She felt him grin against her, which only encouraged her to rake her fingers through his hair.  

His mouth continued to work her over, eventually trailing down to her underwear. This time when he toyed with the hem, it was to pull them down, slowly and holding her gaze as he did so. When they were tossed aside, he looked to her one last time to be certain she wanted this. As if reading his thoughts, she smiled and bit her lower lip seductively, nodding with the slightest motion, and watching him with eyes begging him to touch her.

Jensen kissed the inside of her thigh as he let his hand brush against the hood of her sex. Y/N gasped, sucking air through her teeth and exhaling heavily at the sensation. Leaving his hand there, he continued moving back up her body and as his fingers slipped into her folds, his mouth found her neck and left a trail of biting, needy kisses up towards her ear.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” he whispered, then found her mouth and kissed her again. “I have wanted you from the minute I saw you.”

The way he rasped in her ear, and the more his fingers traced the lines and ridges of her sex, teasing her clit, caused her to writhe beneath him.

“Please,” she mewed, running her hands across his back trying to pull him closer to her.

“Please what?” he asked with a heavy breath before plunging back to her neck and pushing his fingers down towards her entrance, now taunting her there.

Her hands ran down to the edge of his boxers and desperately tried to push them down. The more he touched her, the more she needed to feel him inside her, and the months of waiting and making excuses to wait had grown old. She wanted him. Now.

Y/N opened her eyes and caught his gaze. Her eyes were narrowed and full of lust, her lips still swollen and quivering. “I need you, _now_ …”

The way she spoke to, or rather commanded him, Jensen couldn’t wait either. What she said, the way she said it, it flipped a switch in him and he needed to end the teasing. He quickly stood from the bed and pushed the boxers off himself. Before climbing back beside her, he stopped and ran his tongue up through her slit, causing her to gasp and her hands to claw at the comforter. Her reaction made his cock twitch against her leg. She sat up on her elbows and took him in, finally seeing all of him for the first time.

Jensen climbed on top of her and positioned himself between her thighs. Y/N’s head was spinning and as Jensen’s lips fell to her again, she felt his dick slide between her legs as the tip brushed against her clit. Slowly, he slipped up inside her, just a little at first, but enough to raise a growl from the deepest parts of his chest.

“Jesus,” she whispered into his neck and began to feel drunk just on the sensation and scent of his skin. The further he moved up inside her, she arched her back into him, exposing more of her neck to his mouth. Jensen took full advantage and as he gave one last, slow push, filling her completely, he bit down on her neck as she breathed his name. “ _Fuuuuck_.. Jay…”

His hips were swaying with a tempered, methodical movement, but with each pass, Y/N dug her nails in deeper to his back. The sensation of him inside her was euphoric, coupled with the way he was continuing to kiss her neck, and the feeling of his warm breath on her skin, she briefly wondered if it was possible to faint from really good sex; but this wasn’t just  _good_  sex, and she knew it. This was intimate and meaningful; that’s what made it feel so incredibly different.

Jensen lifted his head and kissed her jawline, finding her mouth again as his hips began to move faster. She drew her legs up and around his waist, giving him a better angle to slide into. His mouth fell slightly open, his eyes squeezing shut as he got lost in the moment. Jensen’s breaths became shorter, more labored, the faster he moved. The friction against Y/N’s clit and the speed at which he moved pushed her nearly to the edge. Her hands shot out to the comforter again, trying to hold on as he became nearly relentless.

He grabbed her wrists with his hands, moving them up and pinning them down above her head.

“Fuck… fu—” he couldn’t keep it together much longer.

“ _God_ , Jay… I’m…” Y/N whined sharply, and just as her climax hit, Jensen took her breast in his mouth and swirled his tongue around the nipple. He could feel her flutter around him as his cock swelled and neared his own orgasm.

He didn’t want it to end, so he slowed down just as her legs released from the grip they had on him and fell back to the bed in exhausted relief. Jensen chuckled softly, still swaying his hips into her, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hold it off; the mere sight of her post-climax was enough to bring his on. He brushed the hair from her face and kissed her lips gently. They held each other’s gaze for a moment before she ran her fingernails up along the back of his neck, her nerve endings still on fire from the release she just experienced.

“I love you,” she whispered, then pressed her lips to the ridge of his collarbone.

That one, soft kiss was what finally pushed him over the edge. Jensen felt his climax come in a head rush like he’d never had before. He clung to her for dear life; his head buried in the crook of her neck, his body trembling with contentment as he spilled inside her, and lavished her neck and shoulders with longing, and loving kisses.

When he was spent, he went to roll off her, but she held him there.

“Don’t, I like how you feel against me,” she purred and continued running her fingertips up and down his arms lightly.

“I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now,” Jensen teased.

He did finally move off of her and stood from the bed. He reached a hand down, and helped her up, but didn’t let go of her once she was. Running his fingers through her hair, he studied her closely before kissing her once more. Releasing her just for a moment, Jensen pulled back the covers of the bed and motioned with his expression for her to get in.

She was bewitching in the way she smiled at him as she pulled him down on the bed. Jensen was on his back as Y/N hovered over him and he tucked the hair behind her ear.

“I love you, Trix,” he said in a broken whisper, so incredibly enamored with the woman who gazed down at him. Jensen thought his life couldn’t get much better than it was right then and there.


	12. Chapter 12

Jensen felt the warmth of the sun touch his skin before his eyes opened. He was dreaming and didn’t want it to end, despite how he knew it would feel to stretch and let his body wake up. The images were fading from his mind’s eye, and he could feel the disappointment begin to set in. The dream was too good to let slip away. 

He dreamt he was laying in bed with Y/N. They had spent the night making love, talking in whispers and finding ways to make the other feel inexplicably wanted and loved. It was everything he’d needed from her since he first kissed her on New Year’s Eve. 

Movement on the bed beside him was the last step in getting him to open his eyes, and when he finally looked to his right, she was there. It wasn’t just a dream after all. Her hair was free of its usual messy bun and was splayed across her pillow. Jensen rolled over and propped himself up on one elbow, then leaned forward leaving a soft kiss on her bare shoulder that peeked out from the sheets. Her skin still smelled like suntan lotion and coconut, and he kissed her again. 

Jensen slipped his hand beneath the sheets and along the length of her body. Flashes from the night before passed through his mind, and he continued kissing the back of her neck as his fingers explored the lines of her body. His arm slowly wrapped around her stomach and gently pulled her back against him. Y/N was beginning to stir. She elongated her neck and hummed as his lips trailed soft, wanting kisses to her ear. 

“Morning,” he rumbled against her ear, just as his hand glided up her abdomen towards her breasts. 

“Morning,” she breathed and let herself gently fall back into him. 

“Sleep well?”

“No,” she giggled and rolled over, so she could see his face. “I don’t believe much sleep happened.”

“Regrets?” he asked softly, brushing away the hair from her face so he could fully appreciate her (y/c) eyes. 

“Only that I waited so long.” She withdrew her gaze and cast them do the small bit of space between them. “I’m sorry, Jensen. I don’t know what I was so scared of.”

“Hey,” he rasped, gently taking her chin and directing her eyes back to his. “Don’t do that. We’re together now, right? That’s what matters. Not how long it took to get here, just that we got here.”

“Are we? Together, I mean?”

“It’s what I want. There’s no one else for me, Y/N.” Jensen was nervous, and even she could hear the barely-there quiver in his voice when he spoke her name. 

Y/N propped herself up and leaned over, hovering above him now, her hair falling down and tickling his cheeks. “You sure you’re up for that? I can be a handful.”

“Good thing I got two hands,” he teased, the crinkles around his eyes deep and the peek-a-boo dimples formed at either side of his wide smile. 

Y/N rolled her eyes and hung her head to his chest. “I hate you,” she laughed and kissed him there. “So much.”

“I guess then, it’s also a good thing that you love me, too. Or I’d be in trouble.”

“Nope, I take it back,” she said, trying to be serious and pulling away from him. “I take it all back. You’re insufferable, Jensen. What was I thinking?”

Jensen grabbed her and turned quickly, making Y/N land on her back as he straddled her legs, pinning her down and dove his mouth to her neck. In less than a second, he was lavishing her neck with attention as her body began to slowly move beneath him.

“See, you don’t play fair, either,” she mewed, rolling her neck to the side so he could have more of her. 

“Never said I did,” he mumbled lowly. “Now what were you saying about taking it back…” his voice was muffled in the crook of her neck, and he felt himself growing hard again at simply the thought of being with her.

From somewhere in the tangle of clothes on the floor, a cell phone began ringing. Jensen growled and picked his head up from her neck. 

“Dammit.” He rolled off her and got up from the bed to locate the intrusion. 

Y/N sat up and watched as he moved around the room, completely naked. “I could get used to this view, ya know.”

He stopped looking for a moment and stared at her with that familiar deadpan gaze. “Seriously? Am I just a good time to you?”

“And then some…” she wiggled her eyebrows and winked playfully, breaking his expression and making him laugh. “Screw the phone, come back to bed.”

“I will. But I know this is Jared. I gotta–” he found his shorts from the night before and retrieved the phone from the pocket. “Hey,” he said swiping up to answer the call. “What’s up?”

“Dude, what the hell? Where did you disappear too?”

“Oh.. yeah. Sorry. Something came up and, uhhh…” Jensen stammered, unsure of how to proceed with telling his best friend he finally got to spend the night with the woman he loved while she was right there in the room.

“Something? Sex? Was it sex, Jensen?” Jared asked, and Jensen could hear the underlying tone of playful accusation. 

“Maybe.”

“I kinda figured,” Jared laughed. “No way you’d leave before the pig roast was ready unless Y/N was involved. You left a ton of shit behind on the boat and took off with one of the rentals. You must have been seriously distracted.”

“Dude,” Jensen chuckled and turned away from her to walk towards the bathroom. “You have no idea.”

“Alright Romeo, I don’t need details. Anyway… get your shit together and be ready in two hours. I’m swinging by to grab you so we can head to the airport. I had the valet company bring your truck back and take the rental with them. Just remember to bring the spare keys so I can drop them off, ok?”

“Yeah, sure. No problem… Wait. Two hours? I thought we didn’t go back ‘til later?”

“Change of plans, brother. Maybe if you didn’t have your head buried elsewhere you would have seen the five text messages I sent you about it this morning.”

“I hate you,” Jensen groaned and pulled the phone away to see all his missed notifications. “Fine, two hours. I’ll be ready.”

“Good. And, please shower. I don’t want to sit on a six-hour trip to Vancouver while you smell like sex.”

“Goodbye, Jared.” Jensen hung up the phone and tossed it back on the floor with the rest of the clothes. 

“Jared busting your chops?” she asked as Jensen crawled back into bed. 

“When isn’t he?” He laid back down and Y/N immediately laid beside him, resting her head in the crook of his shoulder. Jensen wrapped an arm around her and drew her closer. “I do have to get ready to go soon though. And while the last thing I want to do is spoil this morning… we gotta talk about you staying here. Y/N, please, reconsider–”

“I’ll stay,” she said softly, then turned her face up to his. “I’m sorry I gave you a hard time. I was so scared of staying because we hadn’t slept together. Then I panicked and worried about what it would mean if we  _did_ …”

“Thank God,” he chuckled softly, running his free hand over his face and sighing deeply. “I didn’t want to fight, but I was prepared to come out swingin’ if it meant you’d agree to just stay here.”

“Here is good. I’ll stay through the festival and then we can figure out what comes next. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect,” he said and left a loving kiss on her head. “One more question and then I promise, I’ll let it go.”

“Oh boy… what?”

“What are the chances you changed your mind about San Diego, too?”

It was Y/N’s turn to sigh. “Jay… I can’t. In fact, I have to meet with Robbie at some point today or tomorrow about the publicity performance at the brewery this week. I think it’s Thursday, which is your first day out there, right? I have to be at the brewery. Rob and Bri are singing. I am filming, mingling, promoting…”

“You work too much.”

“Look who’s talking…”

They held each other’s gaze stubbornly for a moment and Jensen finally relented. “Okay, okay. You made your point. But, I reserve the right to whisk you away at some point and you can’t say no. Deal?”

“I’ll take that deal,” she said and pushed herself up on the bed, to full sitting position.

“Whoa, no, wait. Where are you going?” 

“To shower. Then I’ll go make you breakfast so you can shower and be ready for Jared.”

“First off, shower together, it conserves water. Secondly, you’re gonna cook? For me?  _Can_  you cook?”

“Yes, I can cook. Pretty damn well, actually. Also, not showering with you, because we’ll never get out of there and you have to leave soon.”

“We could forget the breakfast, and just go shower. Huh? Right? Way better plan,” Jensen said, trying to pull her back to lay down. 

“Easy, Hollywood,” she purred and let him draw her back in. “I promise you, we will have our chance to make up for all the nights we weren’t together.”

“Swear?” he asked, a touch of some distant concern twinkled in his eyes, but she dismissed it.

Nodding softly, she leaned in and kissed him delicately on the lips. “Scout’s honor.”

An hour later, Y/N was in the kitchen, scrambling up some eggs and toast, with a fresh pot of coffee waiting for Jensen when he emerged from his shower. When he entered the room he was struck by the differing aromas, shocked at how fragrant the kitchen had become.

“Well aren’t you just full of surprises,” Jensen said as he dropped his duffle bag to the floor and tossed the keys on the counter. “Whatcha makin’?”

“Eggs with peppers and onions, rye toast and there’s fresh coffee over there for you,” Y/N replied without turning from the stove. 

Jensen went to go get a mug for his coffee but stopped just a moment to watch her move around the kitchen and admire how good she looked. She was wearing one of his dress shirts, sleeves rolled up and only loosely buttoned; her hair damp from the shower and her face completely natural. Fighting the urge to distract her from cooking, he continued on with getting his coffee and asked if she wanted a cup as well. 

“Yes, please. Give me all the coffee,” she laughed then flashed him a rueful smile over her shoulder. “Someone kept me up late last night.”

“Well, not much going on today, right? Maybe you can take a day to just sleep, relax. Catch up on some Netflix?”

“Maybe,” she shrugged and turned off the heat on the eggs, plated them, along with the toast and slid it across the counter. “Your breakfast, sir.”

“Whoa.” Jensen pulled the plate closer and grabbed the fork beside it, taking a bite of the eggs and closing his eyes. “Mmmm…” he hummed and swallowed the food. “Baby, these are good.”

“Baby, hm? That’s new.” Y/N mused and turned away, casually strolling to the refrigerator to get the cream for her coffee. 

“Don’t like that one?” Jensen asked, taking another bite of his eggs. 

“Didn’t say that, just… different.”

Jensen’s face slipped into a sly, teasing grin as he leaned forward on his elbows on the counter. “I’ll call you whatever you want me to–” 

“Oh God, don’t say it!” Y/N brought her hand to her face in resignation of what she knew was coming. 

“–as long as I can call you mine,” Jensen continued, giving her a big, exaggerated wink. 

“You are so insufferable…” she poured the cream in her coffee and playfully rolled her eyes. Y/N didn’t get a chance to stir it before Jensen was approaching her, hands on her hips and walking her back to the refrigerator. 

“I’m the fucking worst,” he rasped and pulled her hips closer to him, before bending down and kissing her. 

Y/N slipped her arms up around his neck and kissed him back with purpose. Jensen’s hands slid from her hips, around to her ass and gently lifted her up, allowing her to wrap her legs around his waist. He carried her, without breaking their kiss, to the living room and fell backward onto the couch so he was sitting and she was straddling his lap. His kiss deepened on her and through muffled smacks of lips and short breaths of air, she pulled back just enough to speak

“Your breakfast is getting cold,” she laughed and kissed him again. 

“Don’t care.” His fingers dug deeper into her thighs.

She giggled at the feeling of his fingertips ghosting her skin up and under the shirt she wore. “Jared will be here soon.”

“Don’t care. He can wait,” he mumbled, then resumed the business at hand. His hands found their way to her breasts and she couldn’t resist the soft moan that fell from her lips.

“Jay…” she breathed, fighting the urge to take it further. “Unfair…”

“Ok, ok…” he relented and allowed Y/N to sit back as he slowly and regrettably pulled his hands from her shirt. “I’m sorry. It’s just… now that we are  _here_ ,” he gestured vaguely at their current position, “I just wanna stay _here_. Hard to walk away from this when it’s all I’ve wanted for a really long time now.”

Y/N’s expression softened, and a small, satisfied smirk pulled up the corner of her mouth. “How long?”

Jensen considered it for a moment, running his palms roughly, yet slowly up and down her bare thighs. “Since before New Years, at least. You’re hard to shake, you know.”

She wanted to come back with some smart ass quip, but the way he was looking at her at that moment, she couldn’t. He was wearing too much emotion in that expression for her to be anything other than genuine. 

“Thank you for being patient with me, Jay. For giving me the time to be brave enough to trust someone again.”

Y/N softly caressed his cheek, giving him one last longing kiss on the lips before climbing off his lap. She held out her hand for him to take, and helped pull him up off the couch. 

“Now, please go finish your breakfast that I slaved over. Worked my fingers to the bone…” she whined playfully, unable to hold back the impish smile as he rolled his eyes at her. 

“Now who’s insufferable?” 

“Oh me! Is it me?” she asked sarcastically, followed by a big smile. 

Jensen ignored her and went back to his breakfast, which was still warm and delicious. He finished it quickly, along with his coffee, and was about to help Y/N start to clean up when they heard a knock at the front door, then the distinct creak of it opening and Jared’s voice echoed through the entryway, 

“Hello? Everybody decent?!”

“No! I’m cooking naked in the kitchen. Want some eggs?” she called back, making Jensen snicker and Jared’s face flushed red as he rounded the corner and came into the room.

“Hilarious,” Jared replied, when he saw her wearing only the shirt, he quickly looked away and stammered. “Ho–how’s it going Y/N?” 

“Great, thanks,” she chuckled. “And now that you’re here, I should probably go get dressed for real before you whisk him away. Be right back.” 

Y/N paused as she went by Jensen and kissed him, their gazes locked with the other and let it linger for a moment before she continued on. Once she was gone upstairs, Jared came fully into the kitchen and grabbed a mug, fixing himself a cup of coffee. He sipped at the hot, dark brew, carefully eyeing his best friend over the lip of the mug. 

“So?”

“So, what?” Jensen replied, feigning ignorance. 

“This is for real now?” Jared asked and motioned towards the stairs with his chin. “You and Y/N. No more pinning? No more excuses? You’re finally together?”

Jensen was thoughtful for a moment as he reflected on the morning he spent in bed with her. “Yeah, we are,” he said, unable to hide his satisfied grin.

“I’m happy for you, man. Really. I’m glad things are working out. After Dee, then that break-in at Y/N’s place, I thought maybe you would throw in the towel. Too much trouble and all that.”

“Dude, I couldn’t if I wanted too. I am completely, and utterly hooked on this girl, and I wouldn’t care what it took to get to where we are.”

“Damn, Jay. I knew you had a thing for her, but I didn’t realize it went that deep. I’m honestly happy for you both. I like Y/N. She’s good for you.” 

“She is. I think we’re good for each other. Just feels good to finally know, for sure, that she’s just as invested as I am.”

“And you’re sure of that?” Jared asked cautiously, not wanting to rile Jensen up, but he needed to make sure his friend was certain he was giving his heart to someone who would treat it right this time.

“Yeah, Jar. I’m sure.”

Jared was thoughtful for a moment and shrugged. “Then I’m over the moon for you.” He raised his coffee cup in a salute and took a long sip. 

A moment later, Y/N came bouncing down the steps, fully dressed in a pair of ripped jean shorts, her favorite Zeppelin t-shirt and a pair of black converse. Her hair was piled on her head in her signature messy bun, and though very little effort was put into her appearance, Jensen couldn’t take his eyes off her. Jared watched Jensen watching her, and it struck him just how deep his best friend had really fallen. 

“So, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we gotta get going, Jay,” Jared said, leaving the mug in the sink and passing an apologetic smile to Y/N.

Jensen checked his watch and sighed. “Shit, yeah, I guess we do.”

“I’ll grab your bag and take it out. Just don’t take forever saying goodbye to your  _girlfriend_ , okay?” He rolled his eyes sarcastically, emphasizing a disgusted sigh as he picked up Jensen’s bag, then threw Y/N a little wink. 

“Love you too, Jared,” she called after him as he exited through the front door. Y/N looked back to Jensen as she slowly approached him, fortifying herself to say goodbye. Wanting to keep it light, she smiled and chuckled. “Girlfriend, huh? Does that mean I have the best friend’s approval?”

“It does,” he grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You alright with that? Girlfriend?”

“More than okay. All joking aside, somehow knowing where things stand with us, makes your leaving a little easier.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah. Still going to miss you like crazy, but I am very much looking forward to when you come home again. Which is when, by the way?”

Jensen considered her question and scrunched his face in disappointment. “Three weeks. At least.”

“Wow, okay. Three weeks it is. Call me when you get in, later?”

“Of course,” he said and leaned in for a kiss and just before their lips touched, from outside, the car horn blew. 

“I guess that’s your cue,” she teased and kissed him again quickly. “Ok, go before I don’t let you leave.” She wiggled from his grasp and pushed him towards the door. 

“Wait,” he said, turning and planting his feet. “Promise me you will be careful, cautious and not go anywhere alone at night. And! Before you object… remember you love me and you want to make me happy? Doing this will make me happy.”

Y/N couldn’t resist his request. “Whatever you want, Hollywood. I promise it.”

“Good. Thank you. I’ll call you later,” he said and opened the front door, feeling the blast of the late morning heat. “I love you, Y/N.”

“Love you too, Jay,” she replied, trying to sound casual but actually vibrating inside from the open admission of feelings. 

She stood at the door and waved to Jared as Jensen made his way to the car and slowly got in. As they drove away, Y/N cautiously looked around outside to see if anyone was watching, then closed the door and went to clean up the kitchen.

Another blazing hot July day in Texas, but Y/N barely registered the heat as she parked and exited Jensen’s truck in the parking lot of Cuppa. Unknowingly having picked the same place Jensen met Dee the month before, Y/N ventured inside to find Bri waiting for her at a corner table.

“What? Not up for an outside seat?” Y/N teased as she approached the table and opened her arms to embrace a smiling Briana. 

“Are you insane? It’s hotter than Satan’s taint out there, lady. This is an inside kinda day. I will not waste the blessing of air conditioning just for a pretty view.” Bri shook her head and went to embrace Y/N. “Now sit your ass down and start talking. You have some nerve, you know.”

Y/N’s head snapped up in surprise, her finger pointing to her chest. “Me? What did I do?”

“It’s what you  _didn’t_  do! You disappear like a fart in the wind from Jared’s party, and I don’t hear boo from you until late last night confirming lunch today! What happened, where did you go? I need details.”

“Oh,” she said, her eyes lowering to the table and her cheeks warm with the memories of leaving the party with Jensen. “That.”

“‘ _Ooohh, that_ ,’ she says… I swear to God, Y/N. You best start talkin’.” Briana flashed her an admonishing expression. Y/N knew when Bri wore her serious face she better start talking and not keep her in suspense any longer.  

“Okay, okay… I’m sorry. I got wrapped up in things and just–” she trailed off, and felt her expression softened Bri had been there since the start of things with Jensen and she realized how badly she really did want to tell someone about what finally happened between them. “After the bonfire, I told him I loved him and asked him to take me home,” she said, letting it come tumbling out in one long breath

“You did!?” Bri’s whole face ignited in a smile, her hands clasped in front of her face, covering her mouth to try and hold back her excitement. “For reals?”

Y/N threw her head back and laughed heartily, genuinely touched by Bri’s reaction. “Yes. I told him and we’re together now, for reals.”

Bri jumped up from her seat and pounced on Y/N, squeezing her excitedly and releasing her just as quickly than sitting back down. She exhaled a deep breath and then leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table, catching Y/N’s gaze and smiling softly.

“How was it? It was good, wasn’t it?”

“Bri!” Y/N laughed and rolled her eyes. “Come on.”

“No. No. You can’t do that. Because you have experienced something that we mere mortals only fantasize about and as one of your closest friends, I demand at least a few details.”

“Ok, fine. I don’t even know where to start… it was amazing. From beginning to end. He’s sweet and generous. And–”

“Aw, talking about me again?” Robbie crooned sweetly, as he approached the table. “It’s okay, keep talking. I love to hear the things you say about me when I’m not around.” Y/N and Bri couldn’t hold back their laughter, as Robbie took a place at the table. “What? I say something funny?”

“No, Robbie, we weren’t talking about you… but you know you’re all those things too, puddin’,” Bri teased him and pinched his beard between her fingers. “Glad you could join us.”

“Yeah, me too,” he sighed, slightly exasperated and sweaty from the day. “Wasn’t sure if I could or not. In fact, the thing on Thursday, I  _may_  have to back out. Something you could handle on your own if you needed too, Bri?”

“I mean, yeah, but I wouldn’t have too. Y/N can join me. Right? Would you be down for that?”

“Well, I–”

Y/N was cut off by the server coming to the table and taking their order. Once she collected everyone’s choices and went back towards the kitchen, Y/N continued. 

“I was planning on doing a lot of the PR stuff. Filming, live streams, talking to people about Brewfest. There are going to be a few people there with connections to big-name businesses here in Austin. I was really hoping to get a chance to pitch some things to them.”

“Those are the ones we need to take a few more of these sponsorships,” Robbie added. “But, we can figure this all out later. Just know, I may have to bail and head to San Diego.”

“Ok, fair enough. For now, I’ll bank on you being at the brewery by seven on Thursday, performance to start around eight-ish?”

“Yeah, let’s go with that–”

“Performance? What performance?”

A voice—a familiar voice—cut through the ambient noise of the room and Y/N immediately felt a tight coil of white-hot anger at the intrusion. She didn’t even have to look up to know that Dee was standing there, somewhere on the outskirts of the table between herself and Briana. Robbie was the first to look up and actually see her face. Y/N knew just by the change in his expression that she was right. 

“Dee, hey,” Robbie said, followed quickly by a nervous chuckle. “What brings you here?”

“I’ve been filming in Austin for the last month or so. I come here a lot when I just need a break, you know? Festival planning I take it? Brianna, haven’t seen you in forever, how are you?” 

“Oh, peachy,” Bri replied with a quick glance her way. “Yourself?”

“I’ve been busy, but otherwise great. So what’s this about a performance?”

“Thursday at the brewery, we’re hosting an acoustic show to drum up interest in the festival.”

“Oh, fun!” she exclaimed, the feigned excitement in her voice nulled out by expression that lived on her face. The tension that surrounded the small corner table was palpable. Bri could see Y/N trying not to have a reaction, and that Dee was purposely lingering in order to try and stir up trouble.

“Y/N,” Dee said finally, turning her attention to the quietest member of the group. “How are you?”

Y/N didn’t answer at first. Instead, she twisted slightly in her seat so she was looking up at Dee and smiled. “I’m great. Now that you’ve made the rounds, I think it’s best if you keep moving.”

Dee sighed heavily as if Y/N’s statement bore the weight of the world. “If this is about that phone call, I’m sorry, okay? I should never have done that–” Dee paused when she saw Y/N laugh and stand up from her seat. 

“I couldn’t care less about your unbelievably childish behavior, Dee. I actually find that quite amusing. I just can’t seem to breathe when you’re around. Something about you is so toxic, it poisons the air wherever you are. So, please. For the entire cafe’s sake,  _keep moving.._.” The last two words were soft enough that only Dee could hear, followed by a set of intense, narrowed (y/c) eyes.

Dee swallowed thickly, but the rest of her expression felt cold and somewhat calculated. She glanced at Bri and Robbie, who just sat staring at her tentatively, unsure of how she would respond. 

“Well, that felt unnecessary. I just wanted to say hello. No reason to get nasty and cause a scene,” Dee scoffed, giving Y/N a long look of silent accusations. “I honest-to-God don’t understand what Jensen sees in you.” She glanced around Y/N to address Bri and Robbie. “Good luck at the festival. Something tells me you’re gonna need it.”

Dee turned quickly on her heel and left the café in a huff. When she was no longer in sight, Y/N looked at Bri and Robbie and expelled the breath she had been holding. 

“Well, that was fun,” Y/N said as she fell into her chair with an exasperated huff. 

“Way to stand your ground, honey,” Bri chuckled. “That woman’s got a lot of nerve just stoppin’ by for a chat. After what she did?” Bri pursed her lips together, revealing her crater-like dimples and slowly shook her head. “ _Lots_  of damn, nerve.”

“I don’t know that she had anything to do with the break-in, Bri. Jensen brought her up only because of the lipstick. They’ve found nothing to indicate she was in the house. I just think she’s a troublemaker and phony as hell. I wasn’t kidding about the toxic thing. She literally just sucks the air out of the room.”

“She didn’t used to be like this though,” Robbie said, pausing when the waitress arrived and placed down everyone’s drink order. “I’ve known Dee for a lot of years. She wasn’t always this… dramatic and petty.” 

“Well, I guess losing a good man on purpose will do that to you,” Bri quipped as she fixed her coffee to her liking. “She did that on purpose, by the way. Just standing here, asking how you are. She wanted to goad you.”

“I know,” Y/N said and ran her hand through her hair, sitting back in her seat and sighing. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m just… tired. Why can’t he and I be happy without these lunatics coming out of the woodwork to spoil everything?”

“Wait, what?” Robbie interrupted and leaned forward, his face beaming under a wide smile. “What’s this  _‘he and I be happy’_  bit? Does that mean what I think it means?”

“Yes! They’re together!” Bri giggled and clapped her hands together, the tension from Dee’s appearance quickly dissipating into the heat of the day. “That’s what we were talking about when you got here.”

“So, it worked?” Robbie asked Bri, catching Y/N’s attention and making her sit up straighter in her chair. 

Y/N cleared her throat to interrupt their quiet celebration. “I’m sorry, what now? Explain yourself, Robert.”

“Hmmm?” he replied disingenuously. “What’s that now?”

“Don’t be cute. What worked?”

“I’m always cute. Can’t help it. It’s the beard.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and inhaled slowly trying to contain her mild frustrations, then turned to Briana. “Briana? Care to explain?” 

Then it hit her; the bonfire. She remembered how calculated it felt that the only open seat had been next to Robbie and Jensen was so perfectly placed right across the flames of the fire. “You set us up at the bonfire. You wanted me to sing, and that’s why you said what you said when you handed me the guitar.”

“Did I say something,” Rob asked, feigning ignorance. “Don’t even remember… that…” he shrugged and trailed off.

“Look, something had to push you to take that last step. Really, what did we do, but make sure you sat in a place where you could really look at each other. Cause you didn’t, ya know. You’d look at him and he’d look away and vice versa. It was exhausting. The best part, it all worked out.”

“Thank you,” Y/N said softly, giving them both a grateful smile. “I’m happy to know that you guys have our backs.”

“Always, honey,” Bri said and covered Y/N’s hand with her own and gave it a squeeze.

After the revealing news and sprinkling of vague details, Rob and Briana shifted the conversation to the songs they could play at the brewery, while Y/N made notes on her phone. As she was typing in a list of items she wanted to bring on that upcoming Thursday night, her phone began to vibrate and the notification popped up that she had a new text from Jensen.

_> >Whatcha doing?_

_< <Having coffee with Rob and Bri._

_> >Robbie behaving? Keeping his hands to himself?_

_< <He’s a perfect gentleman._

_> >Good. You have plans tonight?_

_< <Why, gonna surprise me again?_

_> >God, I wish. No, wanted to know if you were free to FaceTime later. I miss you._

_< <Name the time. I’m there._

_> >9? We should be done by then._

_< <I’ll be waiting…_

_> >Naked, I hope._

_< <Perv._

“Uhhh, Y/N?” Rob asked and waved his hand in front of her face. “You still here?”

“Oh, sorry,” she chuckled nervously. “One sec.”

_< <Gotta run. Robbie’s getting jealous._

_> >Don’t let him rope you in with those big blue eyes. Stay strong, Trix._

Y/N tucked her phone away and felt completely content and at ease again. The earlier, brief encounter with Dee couldn’t even damper the absolute high she felt like she was riding. She was working with two amazingly talented people who she also called friends, had a man that loved her and had even found a new city that she was falling in love with and ready to call a permanent home. In that moment, life couldn’t get much better and for a minute she completely forgot about the biggest wild card of them all… Nathan Fowler.

“I knew this was going to happen,” Y/N groaned and left the hand holding the phone slip from her ear. She took three deep breaths and brought it back up to hear Robbie talking in mid-sentence.

“…really sorry, Y/N. I tried to get out of it, but I gotta go.”

“Its okay Rob, really. I’ll figure it out. I know a few guys that will be working tonight that could do the live stream stuff if I end up playing with Bri. But let me call a few of the local musicians playing the festival. They might be able to come in, and–”

“Y/N… stop. Listen to me. YOU need to get up there. The local Austin bands are fantastic, I mean them no disrespect. But this festival is more yours now, than any of ours. You deserve to get up there, promote the hell out of it, then show those people that the person behind the scenes is just as talented as the ones they will see perform over those three days. Alright?”

Y/N was quiet. Normally, she could combat these bursts of praise from Robbie with a sarcastic quip, but right then, she didn’t have it in her. Instead, she felt nervous. The last time she really performed for a crowd had been at the convention in Chicago, and having the whole band, plus Briana on stage helped quell any nerves that cropped up. The idea of just her and a guitar, in a fully booked, standing room only venue… it was a bit too much right then.

“What–what if I can’t?” she asked, her nerves stripping down her voice to a mere whisper.

“Are you being serious right now? Ok, look. Nerves, they suck. I get it. I feel like I wanna throw up every time I walk out onto a stage; especially at the conventions. But I promise you, Y/N, you got this. Bri is gonna be there, and you two, together… unstoppable.”

Y/N expelled a nervous breath and nodded to herself. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m just… it’s been a long week and it’s going to be a long night.”

“Throw out the setlist, play whatever you guys want. I promise to check in when I can, okay?”

“Aye aye, captain,” she teased.

“Go out there and kill it, I know you will. Talk soon.”

“Bye, Robbie,” she said and felt a small smile. 

Talking to Robbie was what she imagined it would be like if she had a real relationship with her big brother. Dave was never going to be supportive, kind, or even give a rat’s ass about her life; but what she had missed out on with him, she found in Robbie. Much the way she had found a new life-long best friend in Briana, and possibly the love of her life, in Jensen. With that kind of love and support around her, Y/N believed that maybe she could pull it off. All of it.

By the time evening rolled around, she felt the nerves about the performance bouncing between false confidence and utter terror. All she could do was keep a straight face, and try not to let the overwhelming fear of screwing up take over. Briana had spent the day with her, picking out clothes, talking about songs, practicing some harmonies and just trying to keep her focused on the task at hand. Y/N was grateful to have her by her side; especially since Jensen wrapped filming and was in transit to San Diego, making him basically unreachable. 

They arrived at the brewery and were surprised to see the low rise stage already decked out with stools, guitars, mics, and the amps they would need for the show. 

“Holy crap,” Y/N mumbled as she walked into the vast space. “Someone is on their game today.”

“Hey, Y/N, Briana,” a deep voice spoke up from behind them. “Hope that’s okay for you guys.” 

Y/N turned around and recognized Paolo, one of the brewmasters as the owner of the voice. “You got this all done for us?” she asked.

“Yeah, hope that was okay. If there’s anything else you need–”

“No, this is perfect,” she smiled. “Thank you, Paolo.”

“My pleasure. Bossman says, whatever you need, I am to comply.”

Y/N chuckled softly and dropped her oversized backpack onto the floor near the stage. “Well, I will be sure to tell the boss man that you were nothing but helpful.” 

“Anything else you need?”

Y/N looked at Bri, who seemed to understand the question she was asking with her silence. She gave a nod and Y/N turned to the dark-haired man, waiting for a response. 

“Actually, how do you feel about live streaming?”

“I feel great about it,” he laughed. “My girlfriend is always doing them with her makeup tutorials. Sometimes I hold the phone for her.” He shrugged, though it was obvious by his smug grin he was rather proud of himself for that.

“Fantastic!” Y/N exclaimed and went into her duffle and pulled out the spare device she used for just such an occasion. “I am going to do a few posts of Bri, the stage, the brewery, and then I’ll pass it to you–”

“I can handle that. You’re singing too, right? So, you should be in the pictures and videos. The brewery is well staffed tonight, so they won’t miss me. I can be your personal cameraman.” Paolo was near beaming, and Y/N didn’t have the heart to tell him that wasn’t necessary. 

“Ok, sure, that would be awesome. Thanks again, Paolo. I promise to let Jensen know just how helpful you’ve been.”

Paolo gave a slight bow of his head, and when he looked up again, Y/N was touched by how big his smile was. She’d only met him a few times before when she had visited the brewery with Jensen to work on some festival business. But the way he jumped into action that night really endeared him to her and made her feel slightly less nervous that everything would go off without a hitch.

Around ten minutes after eight that evening, the entire tasting room at the brewery was jam-packed to capacity. The patio doors were open, so the people could wander in and out of the building, and be able to hear the music no matter where they were. 

Y/N and Bri were ready to take the stage, but Paolo first insisted on giving them a proper introduction. When he got the room’s attention, he cleared his throat and spoke into the microphone–a little too close at first–but then with a wide smile, called for them to come out on stage. The room, full of locals and fans of Supernatural, broke into a loud bout of applause, shouts, and whistles as they walked out onto the stage. 

Y/N followed Briana up, and she felt the swell of nerves making her start to sweat. Keeping her eyes straight ahead and fixed on Bri, she was in awe at how effortlessly her friend was able to step up and immediately command the attention of the room. Bri gave her a side-eyed glance, and when she saw that Y/N had gone slightly pale, she took the initiative, got on the microphone and began her dialogue with the audience. 

They fell under Briana’s spell immediately and she barely had to say a word. As she spoke to the audience, engaging them in conversation about the festival and all the ways it was going to benefit the city of Austin, Y/N’s hand trembled as she picked up the guitar. She sat on the stool, positioned it on her lap and wondered if she would even be able to strum and pick at it like she needed too. The agreed upon setlist wasn’t complicated, and the longer that Briana continued to talk to them about the event, the more her anxiety over performing began to wane and she felt her confidence returning. 

Y/N cradled the neck of the guitar; the weight of it comforting and familiar. It wasn’t her guitar, not by any stretch, and the turn of emotion that ignited in her gut at the stark reminder of its absence normally would have been enough to make her seek out the closest corner to sit in and cry. She couldn’t do that, though. Y/N dug deep and remembered what was at stake and did her best to focus on that instead of what she lost. 

Briana finished her introduction and turned her attention to Y/N. 

“And all of this,  _ALL_  of it is thanks to this one-woman wrecking ball, [Y/F/N L/N]! She took the original vision of what this could be and created something none of us could even imagine. On top of all that, she’s one of the most talented musicians I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with! I couldn’t be more excited to share the stage with her tonight, so you can revel in the magic of her music right along with me!”

A boisterous round of applause from the audience made Y/N flush warm from a mild case of embarrassment. She flashed Bri a rueful smile and raised a hand to wave at the crowd. In order to avoid having to speak, Y/N just began strumming the guitar and as soon as Briana took the hint that it was time to start singing, she found the melody of the first song on their list. 

As the set played on, Briana sang a mix of covers spanning a varied mix of tempos and genres. The crowd was attentive and engaged, and even Y/N felt calmed by the entire vibe of the evening. Every so often she would look up and notice Paolo in the corner, the camera fixed on the stage. Everything was falling into place just as she had hoped, but when the song ended, Briana turned her attention to Y/N instead of to the audience and it threw her for a bit of a loop.

“I think it’s time that my friend here showed off her pipes! What do you guys say?!”

Despite the rousing response, Y/N couldn’t hear anything but the pounding of her own heart. Where the nerves were coming from, she couldn’t understand entirely; it wasn’t like she had never sung in front of a crowd before. There was something about that night though, that made her anxious about opening her mouth to sing. 

Y/N glanced up at Briana, who was watching her closely. Bri could see the bundle of nerves that lived in her friend’s brow but gave her a wide smile and a slight nod of encouragement. 

“Come on, Y/N… one song for the lovely people! I know you have something special in there to share with them!”

Y/N looked up and scanned the crowd, most of the faces looking back were now shadowed by the dim lighting of the room. But off in the corner, there stood Paolo, the camera pointed right at her and somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered if maybe Jensen was watching the live stream.

The thought of him–the very simple thought of his smile–caused this slow wash of calm to suddenly flow through her. She gave Bri a little nod and readjusted the guitar on her lap so she could lean in closer to the microphone. Y/N didn’t speak; no need to address the crowd on this one. This song wasn’t for them, it was for him, and she hoped like hell that he would see it.

As her fingers found the frets, and she began to strum, she went through the first few chords of “Can’t Help Falling in Love”. She kept the tempo of the guitar slow and dreamy. With Jensen’s face on her mind, she felt a small smile caress her lips as she began to sing directly to him, some thousand miles away. 

The entire room fell silent as they watched her perform. 

 

**_“Wise men say only fools rush in,  
But I can’t help falling in love with you_ **

**_Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?  
If I can’t help falling in love with you_ **

**_Like a river flows,_  
Surely to the sea  
Darling so it goes  
Some things are meant to be….”**

Letting the reverberations from the guitar fade out, her hands falling softly from the frets and the strings. Y/N closed her eyes and felt a rush of emotion so strong that she needed a beat to compose herself. When she continued singing, there was no music, just the sound of her voice; airy, thoughtful, and so obviously in love…

**_“So take my hand,  
Take my whole life too…”_ **

She began to strum again, finishing the song with the soft melody of the guitar.

**_“For I can’t help falling in love with you.  
For I can’t help… falling in love with you…”_ **

When it faded to an end, she opened her eyes to a crowd absolutely mesmerized and enamored with the ethereal magic they just bore witness to. Even Bri, completely moved to a few stray tears, couldn’t resist the urge to get up from her stool, and drape herself over Y/N’s shoulder in a dramatic embrace for a brief moment. 

“I told you this woman was magic!” she said into the mic when she returned to her stool. “The first time I met her, she was seated at a piano, and just plucked a song out of the air to play. We just had such a blast that night. It was the best damn ‘how-do-you-do” I’ve ever had!”

Y/N shook her head and chuckled softly as she cast her eyes back to the guitar and strummed it absently until her nerves were back under control. When she lifted them up again, she searched the faces in the crowd only to see beaming smiles and hear excited chatter. Paolo was using the camera to scan the crowd as well, and Y/N could see him replying to messages in lightning-fast fashion. As she brought her eyes back to Briana on the stage next to her, off in the opposite corner of where Paolo was, she thought she caught sight of a familiar face. 

Her heart froze. There in the crowd, a head stuck out over the rest and if she hadn’t blinked a few times quickly to refresh her vision, she would have sworn she saw Nathan’s face among the guests. But, when she tried to find him, there was no one there. 

 _It’s just nerves_ , she told herself as Briana continued to wax poetic about music and back around to the festival. Y/N tried to remain engaged, but her hackles were up now, despite the residual rush of the song she just sang. 

“You, my magical musical unicorn, were amazing tonight!” Bri exclaimed as she joined Y/N in the break room at the back of the brewery. She disappeared almost immediately after the performance to change out of the tight jeans and fringed tank top she wore. Now wearing her most comfortable sweat shorts and Louden Swain T-shirt, she leaned her head on Y/N’s shoulder along with one arm and yawned wide. 

“It’s late, ready to go?” Y/N asked with a laugh as Bri exaggerated the yawn with a loud sigh afterward. “Might be past your bedtime ma’am.”

“Oh, it’s way past my bedtime. Yes, I am absolutely ready. Do you have everything?” she asked lifting her head from Y/N’s shoulder and looking around the break room. 

“I think so,” she answered and lifted an armful of files she needed to bring back to Jensen’s house, before slinging the backpack over her shoulder. Let me run this stuff out to the truck. You go grab Paolo and see if he can carry out those cases of beer. I wanted to haul a few back to the house.”

“Absolutely,” Bri said and went off to find their cameraman of the night and ask for his help one last time. 

Y/N gathered the rest of her things and as she made her way towards the rear exit of the brewery, she felt her phone vibrate from her pocket. She juggled a few files and reached in to retrieve it, noticing three new texts from Jensen.

_> >How’s it going tonight? Everything set up?_

_> >Ohhhh live stream! Who’s taping? Is Paolo helping?_

_> >JFC Trix… you’re killing me. Just caught the live feed and I’m speechless… God I wish I were there._

Y/N felt her heart pounding, and a smile swelled across her lips at knowing he saw her sing. She was in the middle of a reply as she reached the parking lot. With her thoughts on Jensen and her eyes on the phone, she didn’t see the shadowy figure step out from the darkened corner of the parking lot and start walking towards her.

Just before she reached the truck, she felt it; a large, looming presence stretched out tall before her. Y/N looked up from the phone and jumped when she saw him there. The man’s face was still cloaked in darkness from the baseball cap he wore, but she knew who it was nonetheless. It hadn’t just been nerves earlier in the night, she did see his face in the crowd after all. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Nathan said, his tone calm and yet still unnerving to her ears.

Y/N completely froze; bolts of panic binding her feet to the ground. “N–Nathan? Why are you here?”

“Heard about the show, wanted to come and see you sing. It’s been a while since I have.” Nathan took a few steps closer, and even as he uncomfortably closed the distance between them, her feet still could not be swayed to move. “Want a hand with those?” he asked and pointed to the files she was gripping for dear life.

“No, I’m fine. You shouldn’t be here,” she replied sharply. “You need to go, Nathan.”

She heard him snort through his nose something that resembled a laugh, though completely devoid of actual humor. “Always trying to get rid of me, Y/N. Why? I come to see you, and you just push, and push, and push me away. Every fucking time.”

The closer he got, the more she was able to make of his features and she right away noticed he was falling back into his old ways. His face was drawn and pallid, his eyes sunken and his cheekbones high. He had probably stopped eating, just consuming booze or drugs daily with the bare minimum amount of sustenance to survive. 

“Nathan, you don’t look good. You should go home. Go back to Jersey and see your ma, she–”

“She kicked me out. I’m not welcome there, either. Which is your fault, by the way.”

“Mine?!” Y/N scoffed. “How?”

“After I came to visit you after your boyfriend threw me out on my ass–”

“Not true. You walked out and you’re lucky you did. You’re  _goddamned_  lucky that Rob and Jason were there to stop him from hitting you harder.”

Nathan ticked his head to the side, a scowl set into his features as his tongue licked over his top teeth in annoyance. “Noted,” he snapped. “After that, I started drinking again. Now…” he raised his arms up and shrugged, “now I have nothing. Again. Because of you.”

“Then why are you here?” Y/N asked, trying to stay calm and nonchalantly continue the text to Jensen, to let him know what was happening so she wouldn’t be completely alone in it. 

Nathan went to respond and saw her thumb slowly swiping across the screen. In one swift motion, he lunged forward, smacked the phone and subsequent folders from her arms, scattering papers across the parking lot.

“No! We’re talking!” he roared, making her cringe away in fear that he would raise a hand to her next. 

“Alright, Nathan. Then talk. But over there because you’re scaring me,” Y/N said softly, not wanting to provoke him any further.

Nathan took a small step backward and then laughed as the subtle nighttime breeze began to scatter papers around the empty lot. 

“Oops. Sorry. Guess I made a mess again, huh?” he snickered, his eyes growing big and wild. 

Y/N could tell his mood was becoming manic and unpredictable like it did the night he put her in the hospital. 

“What does that mean?” she asked hesitantly, but in her gut, she already knew. 

“Looks a lot like your loft,” he snarled, his eyes affixed to the papers on the ground. A dark, unnerving grin unfurled across his lips as he watched them continue to get further away. When they flickered back up to her, she could see that he was lost in the remnants of the memory. “I made a fucking mess, huh? And your dad’s guitar, woooo boy.” He leaned back, hand on his gut as he cackled with utter joy. “The way that broke in my hands… Look, I was glad I made that stupid bitch happy, but damn that alone was worth doing it for. Felt good shattering the one thing you loved so much…” 

Y/N felt like someone punched her in the chest; her breathing was shallow and the sharp pains of no air coursed through her limbs. The things he was saying… he was admitting into breaking in and trashing the townhouse. A million questions flooded her mind, but the most important thing right then was to get back into the safety of the brewery. Once he was gone, she could take what he said and go call Detective Perkins. 

Nathan shook his head, the unsettling smile still lingering. “You… you just could never be content. Could you? Always looking for something… some grand purpose. Thinking you’re special ‘cause you can play a few instruments. You ain’t special. You’re just like every other piece of trash from the beach with a good pair of tits and a stupid dream. Why should you get it, huh? What makes you better than the rest of us who didn’t get outta there?”

“Nathan… I–I don’t know what you want from me…” Y/N was slowly backing up with small, shuffling movements. “I tried to be nice and welcoming when you showed up that day. We tried rekindling a friendship after everything–”

“Friendship?  _Jeeeesus_  Christ,” he moaned and rubbed a hand over his mouth, “I don’t need any more fucking friends, Y/N, I needed you. But you were already fucking him and I can’t compete–”

“Compete?!” Y/N was finding her voice. The fear starting to dissipate and be replaced by a white, hot flash of rage. “I LEFT him because of you, you asshole! On New Years… I had him… we were together and I got all FUCKED UP and ran out because you got into my head!” She was clenching her fist around the strap of the backpack still on her shoulder and trying not to do something stupid. “I tried to be civil to you, Nathan, because of what we had. But you know, I’m glad you showed your true colors. Because of it, I am happier and more in love then I have ever been! Especially more than I could have ever really been with you…”

Nathan’s face contorted into a man prepared to pounce out of anger; his eyes were wild, his nostrils flaring, the veins in his neck pulsating with rage. Y/N saw the intent in his now dark eyes and knew she pushed too far, but she didn’t care. His body was rigid, but when he made his move, it all seemed to unravel in slow motion. 

Nathan’s arms lifted in front of him as his hands shaped into open claws with her throat as their prime target. Y/N felt like she had no control over her body. She screamed at herself to turn and just make a run for the brewery before he was able to get a hold of her, but her feet just wouldn’t move. Her eyes scanned the ground in a panic, looking for the phone he had knocked from her hand, but it just laid there with a darkened, cracked screen and the battery laying beside it. She was able to turn her head just enough to see the rear door to the brewery and the lights on the inside before she felt Nathan’s hands touch her. His fingers curled around her throat, making it difficult to move. Before they tightened completely, Y/N readied herself to fight back and just as she struggled to turn her head around back to Nathan, she was bringing up her leg to his groin with the hardest thrust she could. 

Nathan went spiraling backward with a loud grunt of pain once her knee connected with his balls. As he landed on the dirt, Y/N heard voices from behind her; it was Bri and Paolo heading towards them talking  while pushing the handcart of beer. The second they noticed what was happening, Paolo left the cart and broke out into a sprint, as did Bri, and was at her side in seconds. Bri had her arms on Y/N’s shoulders, turning her and examining her for any injuries, as Paolo went to grab Nathan. Despite the man’s inebriated condition, he scrambled to his feet, still wearing a salacious grin. He turned and ran as fast as he could, easily able to escape the last-ditch effort Paolo made to grab his arm. 

“Are you alright?” Briana asked, still desperately searching Y/N for any sign of physical trauma. “Paolo, call the police, now!”

Paolo nodded, pulled out his cell and began pacing the parking lot as he made the call.

Knowing that she was safe, protected by the presence of Bri and Paolo, Y/N was able to come to terms with what just happened. It started in her knees, the adrenaline that served her so well, now leaving her body in shakes and spurts. She tried to be strong and not let the overwhelming need to scream from the leftover terror in her gut, and if not for Bri holding her upright, she thought she may buckle under it all and fall to her knees. 

Y/N covered Bri’s hands with her own and squeezed them tenderly. “I’m fine,” she lied through a shaky breath. “It’s okay, Bri. I promise. He, uh…” she felt the lump forming in her throat at having to actually say the words, “…he touched me for a second. He put his hand on my throat, and somehow I was able to get my leg up and knee him in the crotch.”

Bri took a closer look at Y/N’s neck and thought the marks there would be enough to at least prove to the cops that he had tried to choke her, but not bad enough they wouldn’t fade in a day or so. 

“Atta girl,” she breathed, a huff of air following from her lips as she sighed in relief and pulled her friend into an embrace. “Where’s your phone? You need to call Jensen, he’ll–”

“No. Do NOT call him,” Y/N vehemently insisted. “You cannot tell him, Briana. Not yet, please.”

Briana drew in a breath to argue a case for complete honesty with Jensen, but then saw the pleading look in her friend’s eyes. Given the intensity of the situation, she didn’t want Y/N to feel anymore unnerved. She nodded softly and reluctantly agreed. “Alright. But I’m telling you if you don’t tell him soon, I will.”

“Fair enough, just… not right now. Right now, I just want to get out of here.”

“Cops are on the way,” Paolo said, rejoining them. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, he just scared me,” she replied unconvincingly. 

“That was your ex, right?”

Y/N nodded slowly, surprised Paolo knew. “Yeah, how…” then the realization dawned on her. “Did the boss man tell you to look out for him?”

“Yeah. He said if he was seen anywhere on the property, call the police immediately.”

“Of course he did,” she muttered. “Please, just let me tell him, okay?”

Paolo looked uneasy and glanced at Briana who nodded slightly in support of Y/N’s request. 

“Alright,” he agreed with a sigh, then looked around the lot at the mess of papers continuing to flutter about. “I’ll call inside, get some of the guys to come out and gather up the papers.” 

“Thanks, Paolo,” Bri said and bent down to pick up the broken phone. “Hope you had it backed up.” She said, trying to make the comment light, but the underlying ache of empathy she felt for Y/N was far louder.

“Thank God for Robbie and his cloud,” Y/N laughed, but then fell quickly silent. She didn’t know what to do next, outside of waiting for the cops to arrive. If she had just gone with Jensen… the thought plagued her. Coupled with her guilt that was attached to Nathan’s general presence, she came to realize that there was really only one place she could go that could even begin to heal the trauma she experienced at Nathan’s hand. 

Briana could tell there was something she needed to say but wanted to give her the space to say it without prodding her along. 

“Bri?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I use your phone? I need to go to San Diego.”


	13. Chapter 13

The plane bounced along the tarmac at San Diego International Airport and Y/N felt herself be able to breathe again. It had barely been a week since she’d seen Jensen but after the incident with Nathan the night before, and the subsequent questioning by the police, she needed him more than ever. 

She thought of calling him and telling him everything by phone, but the idea left her cold. Jensen had wanted her in San Diego in the first place, and she should have just gone. But the stubborn woman that dwelled inside her couldn’t relent everything quite yet. As soon as she had decided to book a ticket, Detective Perkins arrived along with two marked cruisers and scoured the area searching for Nathan. Perkins arranged to put out an APB on him for the assault and intent to question about the break-in. Y/N told Perkins everything Nathan said but left out the part where he implied a woman’s involvement. She knew what he meant, but was keeping that information for herself for now. 

Hours later, when Y/N was finally back at Jensen’s house and laying in the bed she now shared with him, her overwhelming need to be near him was almost too much. She eventually got up and went to the guest room, laying down with Briana and finally falling asleep as the sun began to rise. Now, merely an hour away from seeing Jensen, she felt relief and the ability to breathe easy again. 

Briana had all the arrangements taken care of, including reaching out to Robbie to secure credentials for Y/N to get into Comic-Con and to where she could surprise Jensen. Bri made him swear on his children that he would keep the secret and help Y/N get to where she was going. Unfamiliar with the chaos that was a convention such as Comic-Con, Bri didn’t want her to navigate those waters alone. 

Early the next afternoon, Y/N disembarked the plane and retrieved her checked bag, then found the driver that Robbie had sent for her. The car brought her directly to the convention center with the promise of dropping her luggage at the hotel where everyone was staying. She made her way to the Will Call booth, already overwhelmed by the enormity of the event but still excited to get a glimpse into Jensen’s world. 

With a quick flash of her identification, she retrieved her All-Access Pass lanyard and drew in a deep breath of the Southern California air. It was just as hot as it was in Texas, but the excitement that swirled in the atmosphere around the convention center made it seem slightly more tolerable. She could feel the people’s elation as she made her way through the crowds, trying to find her way to the conference room where Robbie was waiting for her. 

Jensen exhaled a yawn and rubbed a hand over his tired face. He could easily sleep for a week already, and they were only on day one of three in San Diego. Normally he looked forward to Comic-Con weekends, they were different enough from the regular con circuit that there was a certain level of exhilaration over the unknown of what could happen. This year though, he was tired and a little sad, desperately wishing that Y/N was there with him. 

He just got out of hair and makeup for a second time that day, to do yet another interview; this time it was Entertainment Weekly. They were usually easy going, lots of laughs, not too many hard-hitting questions; but fun conversation and banter about the show. If he was somehow able to work in a plug for the festival, even better. Getting exposure through an outlet like that could easily boost ticket sales enough to make a huge impact in what they are able to give back to the community. 

Shaking off the last bit of sluggishness, Jensen made his way towards the set where the spotlights were pointed directly at the chair where he would sit. Tasha Wilson, one of EW’s representatives that weekend, was already seated and waiting; her wide smile and heavily produced eyes popped with excitement. 

“Jensen!” she exclaimed, darting out a hand to shake his without moving from her seat. “So good to see you! Having fun this weekend?”

“Yeah,” he smiled as pleasantly as he could muster. “I am. It’s always a good time here.”

“Anything scoopy you wanna dish before the cameras start rolling?” she asked, her tongue peeking out as she playfully wiggled her eyebrows. “Promise to keep my mouth shut!” She crossed her chest with her fingers and held them up a mock salute. “Scout’s honor!”

It instantly made Jensen smile softly and think of Y/N.  _God, I wish she were here_ , he thought, then tried to focus on Tasha instead. 

“Uhhh,” he started, then laughed nervously, “you know I can’t. But I think you’ll be surprised at what’s in store.”

“Okay, fine. I know… can’t say anything,” she waved him off with a flirty laugh. “You ready, gorgeous?”

“Let’s do it,” Jensen said and dug deep down to find that switch he needed to flip just for these moments. Just as the cameras started to roll, and Tasha started to talk, he found his inner professional and turned on the charm.

As she flirted her way through the questions, Jensen tried to maintain his focus, but he felt like something was coming; though he had zero idea of what it could be that was causing it. Not necessarily in a bad way, but there was a sensation he couldn’t explain, building from the depths of his gut and crawling up his spine to his neck. Whatever it was, it made him take his attention away from Tasha and look off towards the fringe of the set, beyond the cameras to where the shadowed figures stood watching the interview. 

“Did you and Jared get a lot of say in how this was going to go?” she asked, unaware that Jensen was no longer paying attention. 

At first, he didn’t understand what he was seeing because it was like he was seeing her in fragments. First her hair, then her smile, and even from the distance he sat, he couldn’t mistake her eyes. His heartbeat faster as he noticed the familiar position of her stance, as her arms were crossed loosely over her chest, a hip hitched out while standing beside Rob. Jensen was rendered speechless by the sight of her. At first, he wasn’t sure if it was her or just a hallucination–the sheer desire to have her there playing with his mind–but then she laughed, and even though the ambient noise and distance, he knew for a fact she was really there. 

“Jensen?” Tasha asked, and then followed his line of sight trying to locate the source of what grabbed his attention. “You alright? Still with me?” she continued when she went back to him.

“Yes. Sorry,” he laughed with a mixture of excitement and discomfort at being so caught off guard by her presence. “I’m, uh… I’m alright, I just saw a familiar face.”

He swallowed hard, and looked back in Y/N’s direction, almost afraid she would be gone, but thankfully she was still there. She was looking his way now, her lips pulled taut into the little smirk he loved so much; the one that made her look like she carried the world’s biggest secret and only wanted to tell him. Jensen’s heart swelled at the sight of her, the ache in his arms building with the need to run over and grab her tightly.

“Oh? An old friend, perhaps?” Tasha turned excitedly in her chair, still trying to discern as to who Jensen was referring too.

“No, no,” he chuckled, the kind that was forced and slightly frustrated. “It seems as though my girlfriend has decided to surprise me here this weekend.” Jensen couldn’t hide the enormous smile that exploded on his face as he nodded in her direction. Calling Y/N his girlfriend for the first time, especially to someone in this very separate world, made him almost giddy. He loved how Tasha’s expression went from excited to crestfallen in less than a second. 

“Your… girlfriend? Ohhh! Well… this is new, I take it? Last I heard you were single and ready to mingle, Mr. Ackles.”

He laughed his fake laugh again. “Yes, it is new. Though we’ve been good friends for a while.”

“And is she someone we know?”

“Probably not yet. But I promise you, you will.” 

“Oh, and why’s that?” Tasha asked with animated curiously, but Jensen took notice that her entire demeanor now changed from the flirtatious behavior earlier in the interview. 

“Y/N is the most incredible singer, songwriter, and musician I’ve ever known. She’s been working on the Hometown Brewfest we’re hosting on Austin, and what she’s managed to put together will blow your mind. I guarantee the second she gets on the stage that weekend, everyone’s gonna know her name.”

“Wow! That’s quite an endorsement! And you’ve been known to sing as well, do you plan on sharing the stage with her that weekend?”

“Hell yes!” he responded enthusiastically. “Honestly, It’s what I am most looking forward to for the whole weekend. To share a stage with her, it’s gonna be awesome.”

Tasha went on to ask a few follow up questions about both the festival and the show, then began to realize that Jensen’s attention was far too divided to get much more out of him. Tasha relented and went into asking her final few questions. The moment the lights cut off, and she put down her mic, Jensen was up, out of his seat and dodging the camera equipment in order to get to his girl.

Jensen thought his heart may beat right out of his chest, like those old Bugs Bunny cartoons. The way she felt in his arms, the sensation of her breath on his neck as she embraced him back, the familiar scent of her shampoo wafting into his nose… all of it was able to drown out all the other noise and people that were around them. He didn’t care how many people were watching them from the corners of their eyes. Nor did he care that he had his face buried into her neck and unable to peel himself from her body. He refused to let go until he filled every one of his senses was lingering with traces of her. Finally, he felt he had held her long enough that he could breathe. When his grip loosened, hers did too, but they didn’t stray far from the other. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked his expression a mix of wonderment, joy, and disbelief. 

“Can’t a girl just miss her guy?” Y/N teased, but Jensen could see there was more behind hiding behind her eyes. 

“Yeah, I mean… are you okay though? You don’t look okay.” He caressed the side of her face with his hand, and lightly brushed her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “What happened?”

Y/N opened her mouth to talk, but looked around quickly and visibly hesitated. “C–Can we… I mean, do you have a few minutes we could go somewhere quiet?”

“For you, I have all the time in the world, come on.”

Jensen took her hand and led her around behind the Entertainment Weekly set and into a small green room that was completely empty. Once inside, Jensen shut the door and turned the lock, not caring about who needed the space. 

Y/N put her arms around his neck again and kissed him softly. “I missed you. A lot.”

“I missed you too, Trix. And not that I don’t love the surprise, but I know you well enough to know that something happ–” Jensen stopped mid-thought, and brushed the hair away from her neck. He thought it strange that she was wearing it down, as it wasn’t her usual style. But as he studied the subtle differences in the tone of her skin was that when he noticed the bruising on her neck. A sudden, intense flash of rage-filled his features. 

“What the fuck happened?” he asked, trying to not scare her with the anger that was rapidly enveloping him. “Y/N…”

“Ok… so, just remember that I am here telling you now. Please don’t get mad I didn’t tell you last night. Can you promise?”

“No! Not when it involves bruises on your neck, I can’t!” he snapped, then saw the way she was looking at him and reeled in his emotions a little. He took a moment, then nodded with a breathy sigh. “I can promise not to get mad at you. The situation, though… something tells me that is a whole other thing entirely.”

“Nathan showed up,” she admitted quickly and quietly, casting her eyes to the floor as if she was ashamed to tell him.

“Nathan showed up at the brewery? When? Did Paolo–”

“Paolo called the cops just like you told him too. He wanted to call you immediately, I asked him not too. So, don’t take anything out on him. He was absolutely amazing last night.”

A slight bit of tension visibly left Jensen’s shoulders as he continued to try and regulate his breath. “What happened?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“I was walking to the truck, and starting to text you back when he just came out of the shadows. He wanted to talk, more like bitch me out, but… I tried to text you while he was rambling, so you could…I don’t know…”

“That was smart.”

“Well, until he saw me doing it, then smacked it out of my hands straight to the ground along with the files I was carrying. So, I don’t have a phone for the moment.”

Jensen rubbed his hand over his face, desperately trying to keep his composure while she continued.

“Then he got angrier and said some things… I said some things that pissed him off even more and then that’s when tried to choke me.”

Her last few words hung in the air like the haze of a humid afternoon. Jensen tried to process what she just revealed without having an explosive reaction, though purely for her sake. Y/N had seen enough anger and violence at Nathan’s hands, and he refused to let her see him in the same way. 

Drawing in a deep breath through his nose, he steadied his hands that were shaking and did his best to unclench them. 

“Did he hurt you? I can see the bruises, but did he–”

“No,” she replied quickly. “He didn’t hurt me. It was over quickly because I kneed him in the balls. It dropped him just as Bri and Paolo were coming out of the back door. Then he got up and took off. Cops came, I talked to Detective Perkins and then Bri took me home. Bri booked a ticket for me, called Robbie to get the credentials, and now here I am. But, there’s something else you gotta know… he admitted to the break-in, Jay. He did it and I think–”

A soft knock at the door interrupting the conversation nearly set Jensen off, but one look in Y/N’s direction and he knew that he couldn’t explode when she was present. He took a few slow, steady steps towards the door and unlocked it. Robbie stood on the other side, an apologetic look on his face. 

“I know, my timing sucks bad. But, it’s time for the panel. I can take Y/N and get her seated upfront, is that cool? You just gotta head over to–” Robbie paused when he noticed how tense Jensen was. “You okay, man?”

“No. I’m not. But, I will be,” he cast a longing, side-eyed glance at Y/N and sighed. “Nathan showed up again.”

“What? When?” Robbie asked, walking in and closing the door behind him. “What the fuck happened?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Y/N replied and went to stand in front of Jensen. She forcibly took his hands into hers and squeezed them. “I didn’t want to tell you here, but I knew you wouldn’t let it go unless I did. I promise I’m fine. There’s an APB out for him, and that’s why I came here as soon as I could.”

“Thank God for that,” he said before running his tongue over his bottom lip anxiously. “I gotta go do the panel. Let Robbie take you to find a seat, and I’ll meet you when it’s done, and we can talk more about this, okay?”

“Okay,” she smiled, though there was a spark of uncertainty in her eyes. Y/N lovingly touched his cheek with her hand before leaving a soft kiss on his lips. 

Y/N went to leave with Robbie, then paused and turned back to Jensen. “Aren’t you coming?”

“I’ll be along in a minute. You guys to ahead and get settled,” he said, and she could tell that he just needed a moment to himself to decompress from what she just told him. She nodded and reluctantly followed Rob from the room.

When they were gone, Jensen felt overheated from the lack of air circulating and the rage that boiled in his gut. He carefully discarded his blazer and neatly hung it over one of the chairs off to the side. He put his hands on his hips, and let his head fall to his chest as he tried to calm the fire that was still raging. He had a job to do, but he couldn’t do his job and be Mr. Personality to the crowd in Hall H when all he wanted to do was find Nathan and rip his head clear off his shoulders. 

Jensen paced the room, and couldn’t help but conjure the image of Nathan actually wrapping his fingers around Y/N’s throat. Then he remembered what she said right before Robbie came in and felt like he was going to explode. He looked up at the ceiling and tried to exhale slowly, but he couldn’t fight it any longer. Grabbing a folding chair that was off to the side, Jensen flung it across the room with guttural roar. He kicked the small coffee table as hard as he could, sending it into the love seat against the far wall, spraying the magazines all over the room. He grabbed another chair and raised it before he whipped it to the ground while suppressing the roar of rage he had growing in his chest. 

When he was finally spent, he stood in the middle of the room and found a steady breath as he surveyed the mess he made. In an effort to be cathartic about the entire situation, he slowly and methodically went around the room and put things back as they were. Luckily, he didn’t break anything beyond repair and made a mental note to contact someone to pay for whatever damage there ended up being. When he finished, he stood in the middle of the room and took one more moment to collect himself. He rested his hands on the back of the chair where he’d hung his blazer, his knuckles turning white from the intensity of his grip.

“I swear to God,” he mumbled to the empty room, his eyes fluttering closed, and his gut clenching at the images that were burning through his mind. “If that sonofabitch ever comes near her again, I will murder him myself.”

With that, Jensen grabbed his blazer and left for the panel.

It was well past ten when they finally returned to the hotel. Robbie had arranged for the staff to leave Y/N’s luggage in Jensen’s room, so all her things were there when they got back. They hadn’t spoken about the incident with Nathan again; not after the panel, and certainly not while they ate dinner with the rest of the cast that were in attendance for the con that weekend. 

Back in the room, Jensen emptied his pockets onto the dresser and kicked off his boots into the closet. He neatly hung his blazer in the closet and then turned to find Y/N just sitting on the edge of the bed. Her eyes were closed, and her head hung to her chest. He thought she looked tired and slightly defeated. 

“You alright?” he asked, slowly walking over, then crouching in front of her, resting a hand on either one of her thighs to steady himself. He picked up her chin with his thumb, lifting her (y/c) eyes to meet his, which were soft and thoughtful. “Talk to me, Trix.”

“I’m sorry,” she rasped, her throat dry and thick with emotion. Y/N hadn’t really allowed herself to cry or feel too much of anything after the confrontation with Nathan. She needed to feel strong and fortified. Now that she was finally in a safe, quiet place with Jensen, she thought she could finally could let herself feel something. 

Jensen could sense that the dam was about to break, and took her hand, bringing it to his lips. “Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

Those words from him were enough to finally break down the last vestige of emotional fortitude that she had. The tears flowed easily then. She withdrew her hand from Jensen’s and covered her face, trying to hide the emotion that spilled over. He got up from the floor and sat beside her on the bed. Drawing her in close, Jensen kissed the top of her head and just let her cry. All he could do was hold her tightly and let her know she wasn’t alone. 

Y/N picked up her head a short time later and wiped as many of the tears away as she could. She got up and went to the bathroom for a cool washcloth to clear her skin of the salty tears that left streaks down her face. 

“We don’t have to talk about it tonight,” Jensen called out from the other room. “It can wait, you know.”

“I know,” Y/N said, emerging from the bathroom. “I think I like that idea, to be honest.” 

“Okay, good. So, tired? Ready for bed? Wanna watch tv? A movie, maybe?” Jensen picked up the remote and was scrutinizing it to locate the power button when Y/N plucked it from his hand and tossed it across the king-sized bed.

“No,” she said, and slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing her black lace bra that barely contained the swell of her breasts.  

Jensen sat up straighter, an instant change in his expression lured her closer. She slotted herself between his thighs and delicately ran her fingers through his hair. Being with him so intimately, and knowing how safe she was  When she was right in front of him, he gingerly pushed the blouse open further, wrapping his fingers around her waist and drawing her in even more. He kissed the soft skin on her stomach and hummed contentedly. 

He reached up and gently pushed the garment from her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, then sat back further on the bed and patted his lap. Y/N smiled impishly and took a moment to remove the rest of her clothes until she was left in nothing but her bra and panties then took him on his invitation and straddled his lap and lacing her fingers behind his neck. 

Jensen buried his face between her breasts and drew in a deep breath of her while his lips pressed into her flesh. His fingers ran roughly up her back to the hooks of her bra. Before he unclasped it, he paused and looked up at her. Y/N was gazing down at him, her expression was delicate and soft. She looked angelic in the dim light of the room, and he couldn’t help but think of how differently things could have gone. 

Once again, he could have lost her. 

“Y/N…” he started softly, bringing one hand up to gently touch her cheek. “I want you to stay with me until the festival. We’ll just stay in Vancouver and if you have to go back to Austin, we’ll do it when I’m not filming. No more of this back and forth, okay? I don’t want to let you out of my sight.”

“Okay,” she whispered, before bending down and engulfing his plump lips with her own. “Whatever you want, Hollywood.”

Contented with her response, he kissed her back with purpose and went back to the task of unhooking her bra then taking her to bed. Later, when they were sweaty and breathless, completely spent from making love, Jensen held her and watched her sleep for a while before drifting off himself. The last thing he thought of before sleep pulled him under, was how he would do anything to protect Y/N, and how one day he’d be giving interviews and calling her his wife.

The next day was spent dashing from one event to another, most times with Jensen having to go on ahead, and Y/N meeting him there. More interviews, autograph signings, promotional shoots, and that was all before lunch. Jensen didn’t want to leave her again but knew he had to fill several last few commitments before he could be completely free of the rigid schedule. He waited until Y/N was busy chatting with Jared, then pulled Robbie aside and spoke in just above a whisper. 

“You don’t let her out of your sight. Okay?”

“Yeah man, I gotcha. Me ‘n her stuck like glue.”

“I doubt he’d come here, but…” Jensen shrugged then looked up to see if she was still otherwise engaged. Thankfully, she was. “Don’t want to take the chance.”

“No, he couldn’t get through security. But… she could,” Rob mused sort of casually, more to himself than Jensen, but when he saw his friend’s expression change, he back-peddled a little. “I just mean… she likes to cause trouble, you know? Not that she has. I don’t think. Other than lunch…”

“She? You mean, Dee? And what lunch are you talking about? What else don’t I know?” Jensen asked harshly, then felt someone tugging on his sleeve. 

“Ready?” the young PA asked that was there to escort him to the next event. 

“Yeah, one sec,” he replied then turned to Rob again. “This conversation isn’t over.”

“I figured,” Robbie sighed and regretted opening his mouth at all. 

Jensen stepped quickly towards Y/N and Jared, giving her a quick kiss goodbye, and grabbing his best friend to be led off to yet another place he didn’t want to be.

Robbie stood close to Y/N and when the guys were out of sight, he turned to her, an apologetic look on his face. “You didn’t tell him everything yet, did you?” 

Y/N seemed surprised, then a veil of nerves clouded her expression. “No, not yet. Why?”

“I may have said something I shouldn’t have,” he shrugged and winced a little. 

She exhaled slowly. “What did you say?”

“I said something about Dee. He seemed surprised her name came up. Bri told me… you know, what Nathan said.”

“Dammit, Bri,” Y/N mumbled and moved out of the crowd that was slowly engulfing them where they stood. When they were a little more removed, she caught Robbie’s intense blue eyes and scrutinized them for a moment. “What did she tell you?”

“You know she’s just looking out for you, right? And really, all she told me was that you said Nathan implied that someone paid him to break in. Is that true?”

“I don’t know. He said something like,  _‘even though the dumb bitch was happy’_  right before he described snapping my guitar into pieces, and how good it felt to do.”

“Jesus,” Robbie breathed and rubbed his hand over his face and down to his beard. “This is insane.”

“Tell me about it,” she snorted, and he could tell she was beginning to feel on edge. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I hate that any of this is happening to you. Especially just because you and Jensen found some happiness together.”

Y/N felt a rush of warm, enveloping love at the thought of being happy with Jensen. It was a foreign feeling to her, as any of her previous relationships were all bogged down with some sort of strangling weight. There was a brief time when she was far younger, where she thought she was in love; but that was nothing like what she felt now. 

“I would go through this forever if it meant being able to be with him, Robbie.”

Robbie’s face lit up. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

She nodded softly. “So much. But I didn’t want to tell him about Dee, yet. Because he’ll blame himself and that’s the last thing I want. It’s why I left her name out of the police report–”

“Wait. You did? I don’t get why.”

“Because I have no evidence Nathan meant her. He didn’t say her name. But I  _know_  it was her. Unless Jensen has some other crazy ex-girlfriend I don’t know about.”

“You’re right, it had to be her. But, I can see why you withheld it. You have to tell him though and tell him about that day at lunch. She overheard us talking about the brewery. Do you think she sent Nathan there? Told him about it?” Rob asked, and leaned back against the wall, dumbfounded at the reality that the answer to his otherwise preposterous question could be yes.

“I don’t know, Robbie. None of this makes sense to me,” Y/N sighed and leaned against the wall next to him. “Honestly, I’m exhausted from thinking about it all. Why don’t you show me around the craziness that is comic con? Maybe get our minds off all this for a hot minute before  _we_ –and yeah, you’re doing it with me ‘cause you were at lunch that day–tell him about Dee.”

“Fair enough,” he said, pushing off the wall and sticking out his elbow for her to take. “Come on.”

She linked her arm in his, and Rob escorted her through the con.

After some navigating, Rob weaved them through various crowds of people, her arm still firmly linked with his. Y/N could hear the build-up of a crowd the closer they got to the end of the corridor and when they finally came out onto a balcony that overlooked a huge open room, she understood why it got so loud. Hundreds of people stood in different autograph lines, all snaking together around round booths that allowed the actors to engage up close and personal with the fans. 

Y/N’s eyes searched the tables and finally spotted Jared laughing and signing something for a guest. Beside him, Jensen was doing the same thing, excitedly talking to a little kid in a Castiel cosplay. They walked along the perimeter, trying to get a closer look and maybe even grab the guys’ attention to wave hello. As Y/N and Rob stood there casually watching the floor below, they were approached by several groups of fans, a few independent reporters all proudly flashing their press badges, and at least two different Supernatural cosplay groups. Y/N offered to snap pictures for the groups and even took out her own phone for a few as Robbie posed with each of them in glorious, fanboy fashion. 

Y/N watched, amused, as Robbie lavished in the attention, but was genuinely excited to talk to them about the show, Louden Swain and the Brewfest. He introduced Y/N to the reporters and had hoped she would turn on the charm as she usually did, but he found her to be quieter than normal. Several times he had to help coax her to answer a question or give some details, and by the third or fourth quick pass at an interview, he realized that she just wasn’t ready. After the last staffer from FanFest News had shoved a recorder in their faces to catch a quote, Robbie led her away from the railing and deeper into the belly of the con. 

Wanting to do something to take away the tension of having a million questions thrown at her, Rob led Y/N down to where the autograph lines twisted through the room and eventually made their way straight up to where Jensen and Jared were conducting their signing. 

“Oh wait,” Y/N said, an impish grin forming on her lips, “Do you have the BrewFest’s IG saved on your phone?”

“Yeah, why?” Rob asked as he automatically retrieved his phone from his pocket. 

“I want to do a quick live stream, but I am sans phone, so… Can I borrow yours?” 

“Oh sure,” he said, and navigated the device to the proper place. “Go for it. That will be fun. Anytime someone can catch either of those two fools off guard, I am all for it.” Rob raised his eyebrows knowingly. 

Y/N shook her head and rolled her eyes. “You boys…” she muttered, trying to quickly get the live stream up and going before they were spotted by Jensen or Jared. She got it recording just as she approached Jensen, and watched through the screen of Rob’s phone as a giant grin unfurled his face. 

“What are you doing down here?” he asked, forcing himself to reign in the utter glee that controlled his expression at the surprise of seeing her there. “I thought you and Rob were mingling. Are you recording this?” His cheeks instantly tinged pink and the giddy smile returned. 

“I am and we thought we’d come over and surprise you,” she giggled and met his eyes over the top of the phone. “this is a Live Stream for the BrewFest followers.”

  


Jensen leaned his elbows on the counter and looked directly into the phone, giving the lens and intense but soulful gaze. 

“Hello there,” he spoke, purposely lowering the register of his voice. “How are you guys?”

On the screen, hearts, and comments exploded as people joined the stream in rapid fashion. A moment later, Jared leaned into the shot, playfully hiding behind Jensen and waving from over his shoulder. More likes, hearts, comments flew by so fast as the guys gave the viewers a fun moment of banter before Jared continued on to more autographs and Jensen turned his attention away from the camera and back to the woman behind the device.

“We’ll let you get back at it, right Robbie?”

Y/N panned the camera to Rob, catching him off guard, more so than she did Jensen and Jared. He stammered nervously and then pulled his lips taut and replied with a simple, “Yup.” 

Y/N laughed and turned the camera back to Jensen. 

“Say goodbye, Jensen.”

He waved one last time, and his attention was pulled away by fans handing him a picture to sign. Y/N turned off the live stream and waited for him to finish with the young couple. When he was, he slid down towards where she was waiting, leaned over the table to leave a quick, sweet kiss to her cheek. 

“I’ll be done in about an hour. Don’t go for, okay?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she replied and watched him go back to do what he did best–winning the hearts of everyone that had the chance to meet him.

Robbie placed an arm over her shoulder and turned her towards the main con floor. “Ready to witness complete pandemonium?”

“Because this isn’t?” she asked with a laugh and motioned to the room around them before handing his phone back to him.

“Oh, this is nothing. Come on,” he said, taking the phone and tucking it deeply in his jeans pocket. 

It was later that night that she got her first real taste of an overly aggressive member of the press who just wouldn’t take no for an answer. After all the interviews and autographs were done, their small group headed out to find a quick and quiet meal before heading back to the hotel. They were due to leave the next morning and everyone was beyond exhausted. 

Jared and Rob were walking ahead, Jensen and Y/N strolling a few steps behind, walking hand in hand just admiring the city. The others who had joined them the night before called it an early bedtime and headed off to their respective hotels for a bit of peace and quiet. As the foursome tried to decide where to eat, a pair of paparazzi came around the corner. Y/N saw their faces light up as they realized just who they were looking at. 

“Jared! Jensen! Over here! Rob!”

They were both calling out names, cameras suddenly up and flashing fiercely. 

_“What’s going on guys?”_

_“Where you off too?”_

They asked at the same time, as they scurried along, clicking the cameras for picture after picture. One of them pulled out their phone looking for something while his companion continued clicking away. 

“Just out for dinner, fellas. It’s been a long day,” Jensen said with a fake smile and a “fuck-off” tone. 

“Stop and talk for a sec, come on guys!” one called out, while the other pocketed his phone again and picked up his camera, pointing it directly at Y/N.

“Hey! Y/F/N L/N! That’s you, right?” he asked, and took a few steps closer, a bit too close for her preference. 

“Just ignore him,” Jensen mumbled and gripped her hand a little tighter. “Come on.”

Their group kept walking a little faster, trying to ignore the badgering call outs and questions but the two men were relentless. 

“Come on, Y/N! Just a picture or two! People want to know who you are!”

Y/N didn’t know what to do. It was one thing while at the con and they were peppering her with questions; but out there on the streets, vulnerable and raw from the last few days, she hadn’t built up the walls she needed to in order to handle what they were throwing at her. She was infinitely glad Jensen was with her and able to shield her from their attention. 

Instead of saying anything, or stopping to allow them a good picture, she politely held up a hand in a brief wave. As their cameras clicked away regardless, she continued walking and ignoring them, until the questions started up. 

“How come you have a restraining order against your ex?!” the one called out, just as the other followed up with something similar and just as irritating. 

“There’s a warrant too… just issued! Was he the one who broke in? Come on, everyone knows about that. What happened?”

“Jensen… Jensen! Did you know about that?!” the first one asked him. 

Y/N immediately felt her body tense and her heart started pounding. 

 _‘How the HELL did they know all that?’_  She wondered, becoming scared by how intrusive everything felt right then, but desperately worked on keeping her eyes forward as her grip tightened on Jensen’s hand.

Jared and Rob stopped walking as the paps kept firing questions at her. They turned to see Jensen do the same, pulling Y/N to a stop. Knowing him well enough, Jared jumped between his best friend and the infuriating men before Jensen could do something stupid, and Robbie made his way towards Y/N. He grabbed her hand and protectively walked with her down the street while Jared and Jensen hung back, acting as a shield they stood there to prevent Rob and Y/N from being followed. When Jensen was sure that Rob had ushered her far enough away, he turned to the men and smiled in a way that made them take pause. 

“Listen here, guys… you want my picture, have at it. I get it, it’s part of the whole gig… but her… she’s not here for that. So just leave her alone, okay? I see one of you point another camera at her again… ask her questions like that again and I promise you, it’s something you will regret.”

“Jay, c’mon,” Jared encouraged, putting his hand on Jensen’s arm. “You don’t wanna do this, not worth the effort.”

Jensen pulled his arm from Jared’s grip. He could feel himself getting angry, and on some level knew that it was entirely due to the current situation. It was all of it–Dee, Nathan, the break-in–and he was ready to find someone to take his frustrations out on. These two unfortunate souls may just be it.

“Jensen!” Jared called out, finally able to grab his attention. “Hey man, let it go. Not the time or place. Let’s go eat. Fuck these guys, let them be dicks… come on.”

Jensen’s jaw was clenched as he stared down the older of the two men. There was thirty seconds of intense silence where even Jensen wasn’t sure what he was going to do. He knew that Jared was right, it wasn’t worth the trouble, but he wanted nothing more than to take out the weeks of frustration out on one of these two men that thought it was okay to start throwing questions at his girl. 

“She’s off-limits. Got it?” Jensen’s expression, coupled with his words were enough to cause the photographer to nod and take a few steps back. “In fact, any pictures of her surface from this, and I’ll know exactly who posted them. You wanna take pictures at the con, or on a red carpet somewhere, go for it. But right now we are off duty. You feel me?”

“Yeah,” the younger of the two said, “whatever you say, Jensen.” He was compliant but Jensen could tell that the man’s tone was still slightly aggressive. 

The two men didn’t waste any time moving on after that, but Jensen stood his ground and made sure they were well out of sight before he turned to head in the direction that Rob and taken Y/N. Before he could go, Jared grabbed his elbow and pulled him back. 

“Whoa buddy, just hold on there. What the hell was all that about?” Jared asked with a curious snort of a laugh. 

“It’s been busy, haven’t had a chance to catch you up on everything…” Jensen sighed and then looked over his shoulder to make sure they were still gone.

“Well, now is a good time. What happened?”

“Not really a great place though. I always feel like they’re lurking. You know?”

“Yeah man, I definitely do. But you gotta tell me what’s going on. C’mon, fill me in on the way.” Jared motioned with his head and started in the direction of the restaurant where Rob and Y/N were hopefully waiting.

By the time they arrived there, Jensen and Jared found Rob and Y/N seated in a far corner booth. Jared was all caught up on why Y/N had come out to San Diego in the first place, and before he slid into Rob’s side of the booth, he sat down next to Y/N and hugged her. 

“Jay told me what happened and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Just know you got us. All of us. Since you have terrible taste and ended up with this guy,” he motioned over his shoulder towards Jensen, “you’re part of our family now. We got your back, okay?”

Y/N smiled and choked back the emotion that rushed up at Jared’s words; the whole situation hitting her harder than she realized. He moved back out of the seat and to the other side of the booth, while Jensen slid next to her and immediately wrapped an arm across her shoulders. 

“You alright?” he asked quietly, as Jared and Rob began their own quiet conversation. 

“Yeah. I just hate that you have to keep asking me that.”

“Come on, Y/N, none of this is on you. Those parasites, they have teams of people digging for stuff all the time. The minute the press learned your name yesterday, they were on it. I’m just sorry that being with me means your privacy is compromised.”

Y/N nodded slightly and rested her head against him. “It’s okay, you’re worth it,” she replied. 

He could tell she was trying to be playfully, lighten the mood a bit. But he could see that the usual spark of levity in her eyes was dulled and tired. The rest of the evening was pleasant and quiet; everyone enjoying a final meal in San Diego together. But all Jensen could think of was getting her back up to Vancouver and settling into a little bit of a normal life, with no drama, no complications and absolutely NO Nathan or even mention of his name. 

Early the next morning, Jensen had arranged to have a private plane take them back to Vancouver, and invited the rest of the cast that was flying back to join them. He claimed to the group it was just easier to go together on one plane, but really it was simply to avoid the waiting paparazzi he knew would be stalking the usual terminals at the airport. He didn’t think after the weekend they had, that she’d be up for that kind of swarm, so he made a few calls and splurged on the private ride to his second home. 

Back in Vancouver, Y/N found her stride quite easily. Jensen spent long days on set, but she found ways of entertaining herself by exploring Vancouver, checking out their cafes, and shops; even stumbling upon the one where Jensen bought her pendant. 

When he was home, they spent a lot of time perfecting the last of the plans for the festival and talking about what songs they wanted to sing together. Jensen helped her write music, and she helped him run lines. They fell into a domesticated bliss that they didn’t see coming, nor did they question it. It all just felt so incredibly right. 

Over the next several weeks, they flew back to Austin twice to work on the BrewFest. By the time August was coming to a close, the festival was approaching quickly and their free time dwindled down to nothing. 

It was the Thursday before Labor Day weekend, and Y/N was sitting out on the balcony of Jensen’s Vancouver apartment. She had papers spread everywhere, trying to load the schedules into the new laptop Jensen had purchased but was getting frustrated by the updated software. 

Y/N groaned loudly and sat back in the chair with a huff. She took off her sunglasses and tossed them across the glass patio table and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Dammit, Robbie… why you gotta be like this,” she mumbled and then leaned forward again just as Jensen was coming out on the balcony, a glass of cold iced-tea in hand for her. 

“What did the little man do now?” Jensen asked with a raise of his brow. “Bitching about the cloud, still?”

Y/N laughed. “No. He updated this shared software we’re using to track the bands and setlists, and it changed everything around.” She whined and sat back again, her bottom lip protruding at the thought of all the extra work this was going to generate. “Ugh. I don’t wanna…”

“So, don’t,” Jensen shrugged and sat in the empty seat beside her. “You’ve been working non-stop for almost a year on this thing. Take a day off, Trix. Come on. It’s a holiday weekend.”

“I know, but I’m just afraid that if I don’t, something will go wrong. I can’t have anything go wrong, Jay. I don’t know what I’m doing…”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Jensen repositioned his chair to face her. “You are pulling off something amazing here. I am in awe, every day when you tell me what’s going on. What you’ve already accomplished and what this event is going to be… whatever happens, Brewfest is going to be a massive hit. “

“You really think so?”

“Yes, I do. I know it.” He took her hand and tangled his fingers with hers as he sat, thoughtful for a moment, before speaking again. “Do you remember a while back when we made that deal. I said that I would leave you alone about San Diego, but I reserved the right to whisk you away at any given moment?”

Y/N rolled her eyes and inhaled slowly through her nose. “Mmhmm, what about it.”

“Good, cause I’m cashing in that chip. “I think you should go and pack because we’re going on vacation.”

“Ooookay,” she replied sarcastically and chuckled as she uncoiled her fingers from his to pick up the iced tea glass that was now profusely sweating in the August heat, and quickly spreading its condensation all over the table. 

“You don’t believe me?”

“Come on, vacation? Seriously? When you said that I thought you meant after the festival.”

“Nah, now. We both need it now. Just for a couple days… I have everything arranged. We fly out tonight, fly back on Monday night.”

“When did you arrange all this? And where are we flying to, exactly?”

The one corner of his mouth tugged up into an impish little smirk. “Well Trix, that’s for you to just wait and see. Pack for someplace warm and make sure to bring a bathing suit.”

“Very mysterious…” she said and pouted her lips, narrowing her eyes on him. Slowly she got up from her chair and moved to sit on his lap, Jensen’s large hands instantly gathering her knees and swinging them up to lay across his thighs. “Won’t you give me a little hint?” she asked, batting her eyelashes animatedly.

He methodically shook his head. “Nope Just gotta wait and see. But I promise you,” he paused, tucking a wild strand of hair behind her ear, “you’re gonna love it.”


	14. Chapter 14

“I can’t believe you did this,” Y/N breathed, still awed by the lengths Jensen went to for their little getaway. “For three days, you sure did go through a lot of trouble.”

“Three days is more than enough to be sure you have a good time. But you have to promise me, no work, no business of any kind… and definitely, no calls from Robert.” Jensen raised his brow at her, and she playfully rolled her eyes. 

“Jealous?”

“No,” Jensen scoffed and waved her off as if she was being ridiculous. “Well… a little. But! Not for the reasons you think.”

“Oh come now, you couldn’t possibly be jealous of that sweet, blue-eyed boy, could you?”

Jensen rolled his eyes dramatically and sighed, causing her to laugh out loud in the back of the town car that carried them from the airport to their final destination. As if on queue, her phone rang from somewhere in her bag on the floor. She bent to retrieve it, and Jensen yanked her back up towards the seat and sent her crashing into him. Y/N laughed harder and Jensen wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close to him.

“What did I just say, Trix? Seriously, woman!”

“Okay, okay!” she said, tapping his arm to release her. “I give! I will turn the damn thing off for a few days, alright? I just want to check to make sure it wasn’t Briana or Mama, and I cross my heart I will leave it off unless we are taking pictures.”

“Pictures? Pictures of what?”

“Us, dummy.”

“Oh no… no pictures allowed,” he shook his head, his mouth engaged in a frown of disapproval.

“But it’s our first real trip together, how can we skip pictures?” she whined, in the way that he knew she was being purposefully pouty. 

“Because,” he started, then leaned in close, pinching her chin gently between his fingers and smiled before kissing her lips softly. “I don’t plan on doing much with clothes on, and we don’t need photographic evidence of that.”

Y/N’s demeanor changed immediately; gone was the pouty, exasperated girl and in her place a new side of her that Jensen had only caught glimpses of. 

“But…” she said, placing her hand on his knee, “the pictures and videos will make it fun for when we get home to reminisce with.” She wiggled her eyebrows as her hand traveled up his thigh, sliding between his shorts and his skin, making its way towards his boxers. Y/N leaned over to kiss his neck as the tips of her fingers found the soft, pliable flesh of his balls beneath the cotton hem. 

Jensen inhaled sharply when she touched him, his eyes immediately going towards the front seat and the driver who was there, thankfully not paying attention, then to her, and the devilish grin spread across her glistening lips. 

“What got into you?” he asked lowly, his nearly euphoric smile was tempered but visible. “Not that I mind, but…”

She shrugged. “I feel like maybe I haven’t properly thanked you for the vacation–”

“We just got here.”

“So?” she shrugged one shoulder, causing the strap of her bra to slide out from under her tank top and down her arm. Jensen eyed the lines of her shoulder up towards her neck then down her chest to the more visible curves of her breasts and desperately wanted them to be in their room already. There was still an hour to go before they reached the Jersey shore, and even longer until they would be alone in their suite at The Grenville. 

“So, maybe when we get there the first thing we do is make sure our bed is comfortable… and then, then we can go do whatever it is you want.”

“What if all I want to do, is you?”

“Jesus… where have you been all my life?” he asked, his green eyes settling on hers and admiring the sheen of defiance he found in them.

“Waiting for you to come and find me,” she replied softly and kissed his lips. “But, you’re right. We’ll be there shortly. What’s an hour?”

They barely made it into their room at Leo’s best bed and breakfast before their clothes flew off in every direction. Jensen made quick work of taking her to bed, and Y/N certainly didn’t argue. They stayed there for several hours, sweaty and spent, yet continued to find ways to reinvigorate the other for another round. Before they realized it, the room had grown dark from the sun setting across the bay and if not for the deep rumble of Jensen’s stomach, they may not have even noticed that. 

“Food… sustenance… Trix, please. While I am loving this new side of you–”

“New? Who said it was new?” she asked, sitting up in bed and pulling the thin cotton sheet up to cover her breasts. “This is always been me, Jay. It’s just not a side I’ve shared with many people.”

Jensen considered what she said for a moment, and smiled ruefully. “What about Robert?”

She rolled her eyes so hard, she purposefully fell over sideways to exaggerate how ridiculous he was being. “You’re dumb.”

“Maybe, but I’m your dummy,” he teased, making her smile and snuggle into him despite the growing warmth of the room. “What do you say we get dressed, and you take me down to that boardwalk of yours. I’ve been dreaming of a sausage sandwich and a funnel cake for months now.”

“Alright then,” she said and leaned herself on one elbow so she was hovering over him. “Get dressed cowboy, let’s go walk the boards.”

Jensen barely had a foot on the pavement before he inhaled the delicious aromas of the boardwalk. The mix of fragrant foods made his stomach growl fiercely, and his head was swirling with all the choices that were laid out before him. On the short drive down the strip from where The Grenville lived in a quiet, less populated area of town to the boardwalk proper, Jensen talked endlessly about all of the choices they had to pick from. 

Y/N listened and chuckled to herself as he went through all the cuisine he had tried that on the trip out last autumn. Funnel cake, sausage and peppers, pizza, fried Oreos, zeppoles, saltwater taffy, burgers, and thick-cut steak fries, not to mention the two-story Mexican restaurant with rooftop dining that offered a sensational look over the ocean.

“While it’s not humanly possible to eat all of those things in one night, I am sure that there is plenty of time to fit it all in over the course of three days,” she teased, ignoring the huff of frustration he expelled. 

“I know, but where the hell do you even start?”

“Midway. I need a sausage sandwich. Finger’s crossed, Javier is there tonight,” she sighed and crossed fingers on both hands. 

Now, as they walked the short distance from the parking lot, to where the ramp led to the boards, he was squeezing her hand and nearly yanking her up the planks and straight towards the Midway Steakhouse. 

“Javier!” Y/N exclaimed as they reached the counter of the booth. “How’s it going, my friend?”

“Y/N! You’re back! Didn’t think we’d see you back here this summer,” Javier beamed and leaned over the line to throw a quick peck on her cheek. “Festival’s still a go, right?”

“Oh, absolutely. Jensen and I are just here on a little getaway. Thought I would show him how Seaside does summer. How’s business?”

“Booming, chica. It’s booming, big time! Miguel, he’s been so happy lately, I don’t even know if that’s really my brother!”

Y/N laughed and searched the faces of the rest of the crew behind the line. “Where is the ole meanie, anyway? I haven’t seen him in forever.”

“Oh, it’s his night off. Lucky shit. Him and his girl are down in AC.”

“Awesome! So does that mean you’ll throw me some extra cheese on those fries?”

“Girl, you know I will,” Javier winked flirtatiously, then finally noticed Jensen standing beside her. “Hey man, how’s it going?”

“Great,” he replied through gritted teeth, unsure he liked how Javier was eyeing up his girl. 

“What can I get you guys, besides cheese fries?”

“Two sausage sandwiches with everything, please, dear. And throw in some of the poppers, too.”

“Damn, Y/N. This boy feeding you?”

“He is,” she said and wrapped an arm tightly around his waist. “But he also helps me work up an appetite.”

Jensen smiled wide, loving how she seemed so open and free with him and making him realize it didn’t matter how anyone looked at her; she was with him and that’s what was important. He bent down and kissed her, then looked back to Javier who was watching with a bit of surprise in his expression.

“Well alright,” he said finally and called back the order to the line cooks in Spanish. “Give me a few minutes, guys, it will be right out.”

Y/N and Jensen moved around to the side of the stand and watched the guys to go work on their order. After a minute, she turned to look out over the rest of the boardwalk and leaned against the edge, crossing her arms loosely over her chest. 

“So, whatcha think? Looks a lot different from when you were here last Fall, huh?”

“It’s amazing how this place comes alive,” he mused, taking in the sights and sounds all around him; bells and whistles from the arcades and games were ringing, laughter and cries from families passing by and underneath it all was the crashing of the ocean waves. “I can see why you love it here so much.”

“I mean, there are downsides, don’t get me wrong. But this will always be home,” she said softly, lost in a sea of memories just as big as the one that reflected back the light of the rising moon off to her right.

Jensen slipped an arm around her shoulders and gently guided her closer. She rested her head against him and despite the lively chaos around them, Y/N felt more at peace at that moment than she had in what felt like forever. 

Minutes later, Javier was calling her name and passing their food across the backside of the booth. 

“They had to clear the tables and chairs out for the summer, you know, but Ricky is managing over at Spicy’s tonight, I’m sure he’d letcha take the food upstairs and sit up on the roof, especially if you ordered a pitcher of margaritas. Slow times for them lately, with the new bars up on the north end.”

“Ricky?” Jensen asked, interrupting, knowing the name was familiar but having trouble placing it.

“Yeah, you met him when you came to the Bamboo for rehearsals. Remember?”

“God, yeah,” he laughed. “That feels like a million years ago.”

“He’s over there tonight. I have no doubt he’d love to see you,” Javier added, before quickly turning to yell something to the line cooks on the other side of the booth.

“Well then, I think that’s gonna be our plan,” she winked and took the bag of wrapped delicacies from him once he turned back around. “Thanks a million, Javier. What do we owe you?”

“Please,” he said and waved Jensen off as he went to reach for his wallet. “It’s on me. A welcome home dinner, mi amor. Just promise to stop by again before you leave town. Ok?”

“Absolutely,” she beamed and this time it was her turn to lean over the counter and kiss the big man’s cheek. “Thanks for this! Been looking forward to it for months!”

Looping her arm through Jensen’s, Y/N turned them from the Midway and started walking towards Spicy’s. Despite Javier’s claim of tough times, the main floor of the restaurant was full of patrons waiting–in some places three deep–round the large, mahogany bar. Not to mention a small bunch of people near the hostess stand waiting for a table to open up.

Ricky spotted Y/N first, but she saw him almost immediately after, then made her way through the crowd towards her old friend. 

“What on Earth are you doing here?!” he asked, a smile beaming from ear to ear. “Why didn’t you call? I would have saved you the best table!”

“Spur of the moment trip,” she shrugged and looked up to Jensen. “This one thought we needed an impromptu trip home.”

“On Labor Day weekend? Is he insane or just stupid?” Ricky asked, giving Jensen a curious glance but unable to keep the impish smile from appear from under his mutton chop mustache. 

“He just wanted the full Seaside experience, holiday weekend and all.”

Ricky nodded. “So, insane. I gotcha.”

“Any chance we could take these upstairs and snag a table somewhere?” she asked, holding up the bag. “I promise to order at least a pitcher or two of your top-shelf margaritas…”

Ricky sighed and looked at the smattering of people waiting for tables. He rolled his eyes dramatically. “I suppose, for you, I could make an exception. But! You have to promise me you’ll talk to Mama for me. She’s being a tyrant about rehearsals for this fancy festival y’all got going on. Woman is driving me mad.”

Ricky turned and nodded for them to follow as he lead them up the wide staircase that led to the restaurant’s rooftop seating but continued his rant against the matriarch of The Corsettes. 

“She’s been crazy, Y/N. I mean, you know how she gets! She’s so intent on perfection for this show in a few weeks. It’s honestly exhausting.”

“Yes,” she replied, understanding where he was coming from and how her friend could be. “I will call her and talk to her about not cracking the whip too hard.”

“Thank you. I know if anyone can get through to her, it’s you. Come on, I got the perfect out of the way place for you guys to sit.”

When they reached the top, Jensen paused for a moment to take in the view. The lighting was just enough to guide people and servers to the tables, but it didn’t take away from the beauty that he saw laid out before him. The full, pink moon hung low over the ocean, casting an expansive reflection on the slowly rolling waves. Off to the left, the glow of the rides on the pier were flashing with rainbow-colored lights, bouncing off the wispy clouds and spray against the pilings, while the screams and laughter of their riders were muffled in the distance. 

“Jay, you coming?” Y/N called out, pulling him from the mesmerizing view. 

He met her at the table and pulled out her chair for her, then sat down across from her. Before excusing himself, Ricky promised to have a server come by to bring whatever else they needed, including silverware, plates, napkins, and drinks. Once he had left, Y/N dug into the bag and pulled out all of the neatly wrapped food Javier had sent them off with. 

Jensen watched her as she set everything out, carefully opening each sandwich, then the fries and cheese. Y/N was completely in her element, and he loved seeing how she interacted with these people she’d known for a good portion of her life. From the moment they stepped foot in the vicinity of Seaside, that spark of life immediately reignited in her eyes. Maybe it was the salt in the air or the power of the funnel cake, but it was clear to Jensen that Y/N belonged there. Even if she didn’t currently reside within the town proper, this visit would surely replenish the spirit of the town that burned brightly inside her that made him sit up and take notice in the first place.

She must have felt him watching because she looked up just as she went to lick a dollop of cheese that had fallen on her thumb. Y/N chuckled, as her thumb left her mouth with an audible pop. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said absently and looked down at his food; his stomach rumbling to life again with the anticipation of tasting the greasy mess in front of him.

“Ooookay,” she replied, shaking her head and reaching for a thickly cut potato wedge that was oozing with bright orange cheese. “Oh my God, these are so bad for you…” Y/N shook her head in disgust, but it didn’t stop her from enjoying every last bite. 

“Don’t worry, I am sure we will work all this off later,” he teased, then picked up half of the overstuffed sausage and pepper sandwich. Jensen sighed with happiness as he sat back, savoring every second it took him to chew and swallow. “I know I said it before, but this is downright sinful. How do I convince them to permanently open one of these places in Austin?”

“It’ll never happen, Miguel will never, ever leave Seaside.” 

The waitress arrived, bringing the pitcher, two glasses and a variety of chips, salsas, napkins, and utensils. When she was gone again, Jensen quickly wiped his mouth and then poured them each a drink. He raised his glass, and Y/N followed, lightly touched the lip of her salted rim to his. 

“What should we toast to?” she asked softly. 

“To… a damn good time this weekend. Because honestly, we deserve it,” Jensen said, clinking his glass to hers. 

“Yes, I second that!” She laughed before taking a long sip from her glass then placed it back down on the table. 

“So, after we stuff our faces, what’s next?” Jensen asked before taking another monster-sized bite of his sandwich. 

“Games… arcade for sure. Maybe a few rides? That depends on how you feel about an hour from now,” she laughed and nodded towards the food. “But…” she started, then paused to take another potato wedge covered in cheese, “I would gladly pass up the rides for a walk on the beach. I love the feeling of the cool night sand squishing between my toes.”

“I promise nothing about rides. Even without stuffing my face full of this disgustingly amazing concoction, I don’t think I could do those.”

“And why not? Chicken?” she asked, challenging him seductively with her expression. Beneath the table, she kicked off her sandal and began to run her foot slowly up his leg. “Not even the Ferris Wheel? Maybe we get stuck at the top. No better way to kill time up there then by making out.”

“You know, sometimes, I think you’re only with me for my body,” Jensen replied sarcastically, feigning offense and taking another bite of his sandwich. 

“Mmhmm, especially after you’ve eaten your body weight in sausage, peppers and cheese fries,” she winked and followed suit by tackling her own sandwich. 

Jensen stopped mid-chew and just stared at her for a minute. “You’re incorrigible.”

“You made me this way.”

He stopped and considered her answer for a moment, then shrugged. “I’m good with that.”

A few margaritas later, most of the sandwiches were gone, as were the wedges and poppers. Both Y/N and Jensen were stuffed to the brim, and the idea of eating anything made them both feel queasy. 

“Maybe rides are out,” she moaned, leaning back in her chair and resting her arm across her stomach. 

“Yeah, I need to move around, but not strapped into some metal death trap that spins at an unGodly mile per hour.”

“Ugh, stop saying the word spinning,” she whined and pushed away the margarita glass. 

Jensen laughed, then moved back from the table and stood up. Just as he reached out a hand to help lift Y/N from the depths of her seat, the waitress came by with the bill for the drinks. After leaving the money, plus a generous tip for the waitress, they made their way back down the stairs and towards the boardwalk. 

Walking for a little while helped both of them feel more comfortable and within a half-hour of leaving Spicy’s, the thought of going on a few rides once again crossed Y/N’s mind. 

“Just one, please?” she asked, but Jensen was being stubborn and shook his head.

“Sorry, Trix. Not gonna happen. You want a stuffed animal? I’ll win you whatever you want–”

“I want… you to go on a ride with me. I promise you, its fuuuun! Yes, it spins, but it stays low to the ground and it plays music. You like music!” she said excitedly, tugging on his wrist trying to plead her case. “Pleeease?”

Jensen sighed and was about to speak when something behind her caught his eye. 

“Alright, I’ll tell you what… how about a friendly wager? Hm?”

“What kind of wager?” she asked suspiciously.

“Skee ball. Best of three games. If you win, you pick one ride and I go on… no questions, no complaining. If I win…” he trailed off, and couldn’t tell if he was being dramatic or genuinely trying to think of what to ask for in return for winning. 

“Well? What is it that you want?”

Jensen’s face slowly broke out into a devious grin, one that bared his teeth and enhanced the gathering of crinkles around his brilliant green eyes. 

“You have to jump into the ocean and sing me a song…” he wiggled his eyebrows at her and couldn’t hold back the laugh that followed as her expression changed to shock and awe.

“You wouldn’t…”

“Oh, baby, I would.”

Her eyes narrowed on him briefly before she stood straighter and pushed her shoulders back before turning her expression softer and kissing his lips. “You’re on, Hollywood.”

Y/N claimed two skee ball lanes side by side and waited for Jensen to return with quarters. All around her machines were ringing, video games were blaring and from somewhere far away, she could hear the big wheel operator barking at passersby to come and take a chance. Jensen returned a moment later and placed a plastic cup of quarters between them. He rubbed his hands together and eyed her up.

“Ready?”

“Oh, I am. Question is, are you ready to ride the Poltergeist?”

Jensen laughed, but under it, Y/N detected a hint of fear. 

“So, that’s a yes?” she asked.

“Oh no… no, no. No rides, but I do promise that you will be wet by the end of the night,” he replied, trying to bolster the confidence he had by silently reminding himself that he was great at sports when he was younger and should have no problem taking her down.

“Of that, I have no doubt, but focus, Jay, we’re talking about the bet, here.”

“Incorrigible,” he rolled his eyes and went to work, putting the quarters in both lanes. The hard, white plastic balls sprung to life and rolled down their enclosure. “Best of three?”

“Best of three,” she repeated and picked up the first ball in the row. “Let’s do this.”

For the next few minutes, both Y/N and Jensen started pitching the balls. At first, he was keeping up with her; for every 100 points she would land, he would hit one a minute later. The first game was over quickly with Y/N winning by only the smallest margin. Jensen pumped more quarters in, playfully giving her the competitive evil eye, that she returned happily accompanied with the most precious smile he’d ever seen her smile. She looked like a kid, her tongue peeking out from the corner of her lips, her focus so intent on the game in front of her. If he hadn’t already fallen in love with her, he could have done it all over again right then and there. Yet, all the love he had for her did not outweigh his desire to win this bet so he could throw her into the ocean; even if it was just in the spray of the breaking surf.

The second game wasn’t even close. Y/N hit the ten thousand point hole twice in a row as Jensen stood there, jaw unhinged in shock. From that point on, one ball after the next she pitched into the next highest point holes with a precision that he didn’t think possible. 

“But… how?” he asked when he looked at the score and saw that he did, in fact, lose the best of three games. 

“Because, my dear… I grew up here. Literally. That lane over there was my lucky one, but this one works, too.”

“You… you hustled me,” he bemoaned, continuing to look at her in shock.

“Technically no. This was your idea, I just went along with it. Why would I out myself as a great skeeball player when I want to win? That’s just silly.” She reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him closer and despite his current state of disbelief, he didn’t fight her on it. His expression made her laugh as she continued to pull him down the boardwalk in the direction of the pier. 

“You’re really gonna make me do this?” he asked as they approached the ticket booth. 

“I am. But it’s only because I love you, and I am just trying to give you the entire Seaside experience.” Y/N reached into her pocket and passed the cash through the small window after asking for just enough tickets for them to ride one ride before turning back to Jensen. “That, unfortunately for you, includes at least ONE ride. And trust me, I am taking you on the BEST ride the whole pier has to offer.”

“What makes this ride so great?” he asked suspiciously, finally coming out of his fog of losing and falling back into a state of infatuation with Y/N. As they walked beneath the lights of the ride, the excitement he saw in her face, and the bounce in her step was far too alluring for him to even attempt to ignore.

Y/N shrugged before linking her arm with his as they walked towards the big, black box of a building that housed the ride. “It’s always been my favorite since I was a kid. I think I rode it nearly every day of every summer. I would scrounge for change to buy the tickets and get at least one ride in.”

Y/N stopped them right before going through the turn-style. Jensen looked up at the ominous structure that stuck out in opposition to the rest of the surrounding attractions, then back down at her. She was lost in a memory again, and he was able to push his reluctance aside to give her this thing she clearly wanted from him.

“Alright, Trix. You win. Let’s go on a ride.”

Her face lit up brighter than any of the rides around them. “You will not regret this.” She grinned, the impish gleam in her expression enough to keep pushing him forward. “Now, make sure you hold onto the railings as you walk through the tunnel… it spins.”

“Wait.. what?” he asked, frozen in place before Y/N grabbed his hand and pulled him through the turn-style.

Once they slowly made their way through the rotating tunnel breezeway, they stepped into a large, brightly lit room that was void of any windows and heavy with the remnants of the prior ride’s smoke machine effect. Loud music was booming all around them and in the middle of the room, was the Scrambler, a ride Jensen remembered well from his childhood and the county fairs his parents would take him to. But he had never seen the ride set up like it was here. Off to the far side of the room was a high rise booth where a man sat to control the ride and the music. 

Y/N led him around the outside of the ride and towards the booth. 

“One sec,” she said and climbed up the few stairs before knocking on the booth’s door. 

Jensen watched as she spoke to the operator for a minute, who nodded at her and then she was back at his side, once again leading him around the ride. Finally, she found the one she wanted and climbed in, motioning for him to join her. 

“What did you say to him?” Jensen asked, nodding his head in the direction of the booth.

“Just requested a song,” she said absently, then patted his knee. “So, are you excited?!”

Jensen wanted to say no, but he didn’t want to diminish how excited she was. It wasn’t even that he disliked the rides; they were a favorite of his as a kid. He had just eaten way more than he wanted too, plus the margaritas, and he didn’t want his stomach to betray him and ruin the rest of their night. Before he could say anything, the secondary ride conductor came through and secured the safety bar. Truth was, he was a little excited, but not for the ride itself; he was more excited to see her so happy, all the traces of the summer’s earlier drama gone. 

“You know,” he said, leaning closer towards her ear and leaving a little kiss at the base of her neck, “I think I am.”

The lights went out and the ride started to move. Jensen heard the hiss of the smoke machine starting up its effect, just as the opening beats to  _Carry On My Wayward Son_  started to play at a near-deafening volume as the strobe lights pulsating in beat with the music.

“You did NOT!” he yelled over the music and started to slide towards the outer edge of the seat as the ride moved faster. “You are so gonna get it for that!”

Y/N slid back and forth, too, crashing into his side and laughing hysterically as it catapulted them around the room, spinning faster and faster as the song boomed over them. She sang along when she could between getting forced by the gravity of the ride from one side to the other. Jensen tried to move his arm to hold onto her but found himself laughing too as he lost his grip thanks to the velocity of which is rotated. The ride felt endless, and yet with each pass across the center and back out, he couldn’t stop smiling and laughing; he was starting to understand why she loved it so much. 

It was a minute or two later that the ride was starting to slow, just as the song itself was fading to an end, and Ozzy Osbourne’s voice was filling the vast space. When it finally came to a complete stop, the attendant was going around unlocking the safety bars. He got to Y/N’s and Jensen’s first, and he immediately hopped out, then turned to help her down the narrow metal steps, to the floor. 

“I can’t believe you told them to play  _Carry On_ ,” he shook his head and took a minute to get his knees secure under him. “Such a brat.”

Y/N snickered and leaned into him. “Aw, come on. It was fun!”

“Mhm,” he mumbled, pressing his lips together to suppress the grin that wanted to come. “Come on, let’s go get some fresh air, so I don’t end up losing half my dinner.”

As they made their way back out into the fresh, salty air, Jensen put an arm around her waist and pulled her close. She was quiet but seemed contented as they explored the shops, and played a few games before heading back down past the pier again and nearly crashing into a family of five, bickering about whether they should get ice cream, candied apples or funnel cake. The family’s banter made Jensen laugh as he overheard the father say,  _‘Get all three, diabetes be damned!’_  because it was something he would say to his own kids… if he had his own. The more he looked around and saw all the families enjoying Seaside’s amenities, he couldn’t help but wonder if that was something Y/N ever thought about. 

Shaking his head of that particular rabbit hole, he concentrated on her in that moment and how beautiful and happy she looked. They continued walking down the boardwalk, the chaos of the games and rides fading behind them. Down this part of the town’s beachfront were a string of bars, hotels, and shops that catered to the vacationers without families. Live music poured from every other bar, some of it sounding pretty good. Y/N tried to pull him into one bar to see a band play, but he was afraid it would set her off, thinking about work and that was the last thing he wanted. 

“Hey, we got to do your thing… now, let’s do mine,” he said sweetly, taking her by both wrists and pulling her towards the wide-open beach. “Nighttime sand between your toes, remember?”

Y/N agreed easily and took his hand as they made their way down the unguarded stairs that led out towards the beach. She kicked off her sandals near the entrance and Jensen followed suit before heading down closer to the water. There were a handful of other couples also strolling hand in hand, some spread out on blankets and watching the stars. 

“Tonight has been a lot of fun,” Jensen said, taking her hand as their toes touched on the cold remnants of the seafoam left behind by a retreating wave. “Despite losing to you in skeeball and having to go on a ride.”

“It has been, despite all that,” she teased and playfully bumped her hip against his. “You seriously hated it that much?”

“No, I didn’t. I do like giving you a hard time about it, though.”

“Mean,” she pouted and let go of his hand and walked down closer to the ocean to look out over the water. The moon was higher in the sky now, but its reflection was enough to keep the beach illuminated. 

“You have your phone?” he asked, patting down his pockets. “Realized I left mine at the room.”

“What for?” she asked, reaching into her pocket and retrieving it. 

“I want to take a picture. Didn’t you say you wanted to take some together?” 

“Yeah…” she trailed off, eyeing him suspiciously. “But you said–”

“Geez, woman. Just give me your phone,” he groaned and taking it from her hand. He positioned himself behind her, resting the side of his face against hers. The pier was their backdrop, along with the moon high in the sky and when he raised the camera of the phone to capture the moment, he noticed how she was looking at him, instead of the camera. Just as he snapped a few quick pictures, she kissed his cheek. 

“That’s a good one,” he smiled and absently tossed the phone to the dry sand. 

“What are you–” she said in protest but was stopped by Jensen picking her up swiftly and running towards the water. Y/N screamed and laughed while hitting his back begging him not to throw her in. “ _Pleeeasseee don’t!! JENSEN! Noooo!!_ ”

“I told you I wanted to do my thing,” he laughed and ran through the surf, disregarding his own clothes from getting soaked in the process. Another step later, an incoming wave made him lose his balance and they both toppled over into the water as it crashed over them. 

“You’re so dead!” Y/N yelled and got up, only to be toppled again by one last wave. 

Jensen was on his feet and running from the surf, as she closely followed behind. He was running towards the pier, and she paused only long enough to grab her phone before taking off after him. Y/N caught up to him near the pilings and squealed with laughter as his arm darted out from behind one, hooking her around her waist. 

“I’m the dead one, huh?” he teased and pulled her in, his mouth going to her neck and attacking it greedily. 

She instantly stopped fighting him and gave in to that sensation of his teeth and tongue working against her skin. From above, the noises of the boardwalk continued on, but where they were, out of sight and out of mind, they could only hear the other’s breathing change and hearts pounding faster. His need to have her was instant, but the fear of getting caught out in the open hindered his hands from pulling down her shorts and having her right there. Still, he couldn’t pull himself away as his hands continued exploring her body.  

“Come here,” she said, as if knowing his thoughts, and led him further under the pier. They were completely hidden from the public, and just before he grabbed her and flipped her down to the sand, she tossed her phone aside. 

“This is a bad idea,” Jensen mumbled as he went back to kissing her neck. His hand was pushing her shirt up so he could paw at her breasts, her body arching up beneath him. 

“It’s fine,” she breathed, working on getting his shorts loose enough to pull down. “I need you, Jay… I want you now.” Y/N ached for him just as badly as he did for her, his erection rock hard and pressing into her thigh. She finally got them pushed down and began to stroke him slowly, making him moan into her neck. 

“Fuuck..,” Jensen growled and yanked her shorts and panties down with one rough pull. 

The tip of his dick found her quickly; the ocean wasn’t the only thing causing her to be so wet. She mewed and whispered his name as he brushed against her clit, swollen and needy for his touch before he easily slid up into her. Jensen positioned himself for a better angle, thrusting quick and sharp while her nails dug into his back, holding onto him for dear life. Neither of them would last long, given the desperation, they felt for this release and the speed at which he was fucking her. The sounds of the boardwalk above easily covered their noises, and when Y/N came, Jensen covered her mouth with his, kissing her deeply. A moment later, he joined her and buried his face into her neck, biting down on her shoulder to keep from being heard by passersby. 

Jensen rolled over and flopped his back onto the sand beside her. He pulled his shorts back up and secured them, as she did the same. Y/N propped herself up on one elbow, so she could look down at him and smile, flushing with warm embarrassment when he finally caught her gaze. 

“That was unexpected,” he laughed, flustered at what they just did under the pier. He reached up to brush a hair from her cheek. He was trying to think of something witty, or sarcastic to stay, to break the bit of the awkwardness of the moment, but all he could think about was how alive she made him feel.

The sound of voices took them by surprise, making them both sit up and listen carefully. When the people spoke again, they were getting closer, forcing Jensen and Y/N to quickly get up and finish securing their clothing. Y/N grabbed her phone and was just putting it in her pocket when another young couple appeared at the opposite side of the pier. 

“Come on,” Jensen said, grabbing her hand and turning towards the exit to the beach. “I think we should grab some funnel cake and head back to the room. Whatcha say?”

“That sounds perfect,” she sighed contently and leaned into his side as they left the beach. 

 

Later that night, after finishing the funnel cake and taking long, hot showers, Jensen and Y/N lay in bed, lazily dozing and whispering late into the night. He could feel her breathing starting to slow and knew she would be asleep soon. Thinking back over the night, he realized how much he had thought about them revisiting Seaside one day in the future, and maybe doing it with their own kids. No matter how often he tried to push it again, he couldn’t, and though he knew Y/N loved him and wasn’t going anywhere, he needed to know how she felt about it.

“Hey Trix, you awake?”

“Mhm,” she replied, exhaling a slow breath. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Mhm,” she repeated, this time snuggling deeper into the crook of his arm and wrapping an arm across his chest. 

“Have you, uh… you ever thought about having kids?”

Y/N lifted her head and through her tired eyes, looked at him curiously. “What brought that on?”

“Seeing all those families up there tonight, I guess. Makes me think about bringing my own kids here one day.”

“So kids… that’s something you want.”

Jensen considered it and nodded gently. “Yeah. I do. And I wanna bring them back here one day to show them where their mom grew up.” His tongue darted nervously over his bottom lip as he watched her realize what he was saying. 

“Jay… I… don’t know what to say, really. I never considered kids because, well, look who I was with. I never had a stable enough relationship where they could even be an option.”

“And now?”

“Now? I…” she shrugged and when her (y/c) eyes met his, she softened and lightly brushed the back of her hand against his cheek. “Now, I can at least let myself think of a future. One that goes beyond the festival. Kids… maybe? I don’t know. I’m sorry I can’t give you more than that, right now, I just know that the future I do see definitely has you in it.”

Jensen kissed the side of her head and held her closer. “Baby, that’s all I really needed to know.” 


End file.
